DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Filthy Greenskin]

When asked to elaborate on this, Phil says it was YT that saved him from this downward spiral of alcohol and back pain.

Damn, and here I am ordering bottled seattle air like a chump.

 

[CCheelai]

Now Mario made him depressed. This detractor is worse than Tevin, and he should be put away for a long time.

 

[Optimus Prime]

This thread moves really freaking fast, I have to say.

Phil is reviving Genshin Impact as a chill stream. Odd. The lame BotW budget clone with anime waifus... now why would he be interested in reviving that?
Oh right, it also has gacha mechanics...

Oh, no...

I actually play Genshin and I quite enjoy it (also haven't spent a dime on it), and while I'm not at the highest levels, I think I have a good understanding of the game's quirks.

Right off the bat, let's talk about Exhibit A: Lisa.

Spoiler: Phil will be extremely uncomfortable with Lisa

Gameplay wise she's a decent support catalyst user who throws down lighting, her skill is a charge AoE electric attack that can build up chain damage, and her ult ("burst") drops down an electric field that does continuous AoE electric damage. Built right she can be effective, so right off the bat this will be a problem because Phil doesn't understand numbers if "$" isn't involved, and even then...well, the fucker declared bankruptcy didn't he?

That's not going to be the main problem with Lisa. The main problem with Lisa is that she is in permanent flirt mode. I mean, holy shit she starts calling you 'cutie' the moment you actually meet her early in the story regardless of which gender your character is. Her story quest is one gigantic 'date'. Her grunts when climbing walls definitely sound like she's exerting herself doing something far more explicit.

And she's one of the three core starter characters alongside Amber and Kaeya, meaning Phil will be forced to use her.

Oh, and did I mention her tits are gargantuan? Her existence is going to trigger an anurism in Phil.

I admit I don't know how much Phil has already played but if he's going to start fresh...his reactions are going to be glorious.

Also, next patch is going to introduce the Hangouts system. Which is basically a dating simulator except two of the four launch characters are actually dudes.

Part of it is I think he thinks Genshin is easy which it is on the world level he is at. It doesn't stay easy I promise.
Of course he loves the gacha stuff though, but playing it once a week or whatever he won't build up enough premos. So to me it seems more like a game hes wanting to play in a braindead way, like Yakuza.

Tbh the poll when I check was 29% yes and 52% no, I mean Phil is known for ignoring stuff but I'd say that its mostly against now poll wise. And thank god, sitting through that shit was awful. He actually said at the end of his playthrough that he didn't want to go back anyway.

The funny thing about Genshin's Gacha is that even if you sink obscene amounts of money into the gacha so you have a full team of 5-star characters with full constellations (the game's way of handling dupes by supercharging the existing characters up to six times), complete with five star weapons refined to level 5...

...they ain't gonna do shit against anything if you don't understand the actual combat mechanics, namely elemental combination reactions and the critical nature of which stats get buffed. And you can't Gacha your way to power, either - you have to farm the materials, farm materials to make materials to level up weapons and characters, and artifacts are pure RNG that you have to be good at the game to even roll RNG on.

Spoiler: For Example...

the Primordial Jade Spear, literally a godslaying weapon in the lore, isn't the best fit for certain spear characters despite being a 5* weapon that builds its own damage buff and gets MORE damage buff if it hits the max damage buff stack limit. Instead, Crescent Pike which is a far easier to obtain 4* weapon has an inherent physical damage bonus that exceeds the Jade Spear in almost all practical cases and can do higher net damage. Everything I just said will probably be utter swaheli to Phil who will not be able to understand how a 5* weapon is weaker than a 4* weapon in any circumstance.

 

[Shirō Ishii]

I actually play Genshin and I quite enjoy it (also haven't spent a dime on it), and while I'm not at the highest levels, I think I have a good understanding of the game's quirks.

Right off the bat, let's talk about Exhibit A: Lisa.

Spoiler: Phil will be extremely uncomfortable with Lisa

Gameplay wise she's a decent support catalyst user who throws down lighting, her skill is a charge AoE electric attack that can build up chain damage, and her ult ("burst") drops down an electric field that does continuous AoE electric damage. Built right she can be effective, so right off the bat this will be a problem because Phil doesn't understand numbers if "$" isn't involved, and even then...well, the fucker declared bankruptcy didn't he?

So what you're saying is that Lisa will soon replace Mario as one of Phil's biggest detractors?

 

[SojiroSakura]

Trolls have infiltrated the Fall Guys stream. He's now super paranoid and leaning into his tv to frantically search for names

 

[JimiHendrix]

Trolls have infiltrated the Fall Guys stream. He's now super paranoid and leaning into his tv to frantically search for names

pretty sure Fall Guys gives players randomly generated names tho? Dunno if they fixed it, I just remember they had an issue of players naming themselves ChildFucker and shit, so they just took away usernames for awhile.

 

[Dragoonism]

Trolls have infiltrated the Fall Guys stream. He's now super paranoid and leaning into his tv to frantically search for names

Anything left in his world that he don't think that they have infiltrated?

 

[Salubrious]

Before the bankruptcy, calling the WA condo a condo would make you a detractor. IT IS A HOUSE. Until it stopped being a house. The same place somehow turned into a condo after the bankruptcy. Phil never addressed this (because the detractors were right). He calls it a condo now no problem. I wish a wheelchair would call him out on this so we get a new retcon.

It took me until the longest time to figure out why the fuck DSP would spend $280K on a middle unit condo when he literally could have moved anywhere in the entire country and bought an actual house (and hell a pretty big one probably) for that money.

Then I realized how dependent DSP is on the HOA.

DSP is a man that thinks moving the PS4 between rooms is too much work. I can't imagine DSP ever cutting his own grass, or cleaning out the gutters, or HA HA snow shoveling, or any of the other outside work associated with owning a home.

It's still funny though. I'm almost positive DSP could have spent the $400/month that he pays his HOA on an actual service to do yard work for him. But no.

Remember, the only thing stronger than DSP's greed is his laziness.

 

[SojiroSakura]

I might have just heard this wrong, but someone tipped him with the name dspsmokesheroin, he says "This is getting out of hand, please stop it before I have to stop accepting them, and I harass you"

 

[Optimus Prime]

So what you're saying is that Lisa will soon replace Mario as one of Phil's biggest detractors?

No, that's gonna be Mona after her story quest.

Mona's story quest is a fucking experience. Camera angles on her thighs for days. And her element is Hydro so her gimmick is making people wet.

She's also one of the most common five stars so if Phil dumps obscene amounts of money into the gacha, he WILL get her. And her skintight-suit clad ass will promptly be in his face constantly.

Phil is going to regret ever picking up Genshin again.

 

[MoonRocker]

I'm willing to bet Ninja has at least a vague knowledge of DSP existing even if he's never followed him.

Let's be honest. Some "helpful" pinwheels have surely sent Ninja some of DSP's rants against him hoping to get a reaction out of Ninja and start a flaming war. Ninja to his credit never bit on it.

Ninja is actually aware of the pig’s existence, weirdly enough.

I’m surprised people forgot that ThirdEyeTheThird (an “ironic” troll who thought that tipping and cheering Phil to ask him dumb questions to rise out of him would immortalize his standing amongst the hundreds of losers who did it before him... clearly worked given that I have to remind everyone of who you were, dipshit) snitched to Ninja during one of his livestreams that DSP was calling him a muppet and talking all kinds of shit. Ninja confirmed that he was aware that DSP was saying derogatory and libelous things about him and that “it was being handled.” Unfortunately nothing came out of it, I assume Phil is such a pissant nobody, Ninja didn’t even bother to let Twitch know that one of their partnered streamers was actively breaking TOS and insulting another streamer.

This prompted Philbert to lose his shit, ban ThirdEye and permanently jail him in the ‘Tism Netherworld, regardless of how many people tipped to have him unbanned or how much money ThirdEye donated to get unbanned. And when you’re in the highest tier of blacklisting, you know you’ve gained the pig’s ultimate ire. I guess it’s that idiot’s claim to fame is that Phil felt so threatened that somebody tried to blow the whistle on him, he’s earned a permanent rent spot in his head.

 

[Salubrious]

Ninja is actually aware of the pig’s existence, weirdly enough.

I’m surprised people forgot that ThirdEyeTheThird (an “ironic” troll who thought that tipping and cheering Phil to ask him dumb questions to rise out of him would immortalize his standing among the hundreds of losers who did it before him... nice how’d that work out that I have to remind everyone of who you are, dipshit) snitched to Ninja during one of his livestreams that DSP was calling him a muppet and taking all kinds of shit. Ninja confirmed that he was aware that DSP was saying derogatory and libelous things about him and that “it was being handled.” Unfortunately nothing came out of that, I assume Phil is such a pissant nobody, he didn’t even bother to let Twitch know one of their other partners was actively breaking TOS and insulting another streamer.

This prompted Philbert to lose his shit, ban ThirdEye and permanently jail him in the ‘Tism Nethwrworld, regardless of how many people tipped to have him unbanned or how much money ThirdEye donated to get unbanned. And when you’re in the highest tier of blacklisting, you know you’ve gained the pig’s ultimate ire. I guess it’s that idiot’s claim to fame is that Phil felt so threatened that somebody tried to blow the whistle on him, he’s earned a permanent rent spot in his head.

That's pretty much what I presumed had to have happened at some point, but I didn't know it was Third Eye.

 

[Surly Muppet]

We're at $8 and Phil has now repeatedly threatened to send Fall Guys to the chaos realm.
He is not messing around. The minute one of the flock gets sick, he pulls out the gun. We cannot tolerate a game that does not pull $100.

But he is still pimping the fact that the top tipper gets to pick the costume for the next stream. The next stream that may never happen? Seems like a Phil-tier investment.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

Phil either needs to lay off the gin, or stop talking out of his ass when it comes to his "childhood". Saying Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? was his favorite show as a kid (when he was in his 20s) is indication of both.

 

[LiquidCancer]

Phil either needs to lay off the gin, or stop talking out of his ass when it comes to his "childhood". Saying Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? was his favorite show as a kid (when he was in his

Not that I doubted you but I had to check. Yeah he would have been 20 years old when it first came out. Peak childhood years

Do you think he just loved it because it had money? He's not even smart enough to get to the $1000 level

 

[Generic_Detractor2021]

Word for word:

"Last chance if you wanna khantribute tonight, and help me out.. In particular with the tips goal, which has been incredibly low all night and still is. We're only at $15 in tips, out of the $100 tips goal.. Not good. Please consider khantributing within the next round."

Help you out with what?? You distress feinging fuck!! And on cue, there's a with a $20 tip.

Edit: He's now at $42 and in clown mode. "Thanks for the tips everybody!" The way he said it was as if they came out of nowhere, and tipped because they loved his khantent, and not because he begged for "help'.

 

[SojiroSakura]

One of his viewers just gave him the actual best idea ever that would help him: do a Viewer's Choice stream each week. He immediately tried to talk himself out of it. "It can't be open voting." Why not? "I can't afford a new game every week" It doesn't have to be new. Dude. This would actually pull in more viewers for you, just fucking take it and run with it. But no, you're stupid.

 

[Salubrious]

One of his viewers just gave him the actual best idea ever that would help him: do a Viewer's Choice stream each week. He immediately tried to talk himself out of it. "It can't be open voting." Why not? "I can't afford a new game every week" It doesn't have to be new. Dude. This would actually pull in more viewers for you, just fucking take it and run with it. But no, you're stupid.

DSP has bought at least one new game every single week for like 10 years now. The dude probably legit has 500+ games he owns now. And I've never seen him replay one except for Street Fighter or "Redemption Runs."

Here's an easy tip: Viewers choice of his Top 10 Best of 2020 games! Except he hates all games.

 

[YokuNama]

He actually made a big sigh over viewers telling him to fulfill the $50 reward for 3 mins



$40 of this came in the last 20 minutes after Phil's classic super guilt tripping.

Trolls win again, even though everyone who doesn't throw money to this black hole is a winner anyways.

 

[FaXmachine]

So we learned I guess 40 or 50 dollars is enough to save a game from a wage quit. Kinda a shame, games fucking boring and braindead but it did get some good Ninja salt.