The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%
  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%
  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%
  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%
  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%
  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%
  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%
  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%
  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%
  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%
  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%
  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%

  • Total voters
    2,258
My TROON and HONEST prediction for the ending of the ranch:

A) one of the workers who doesn't live in the main house will cry and squeal online, starting a cascade of drama amongst the ranch and its members as other personal dramas that have piled up between the main housemates rear their heads. The ranch has a few people living on it left like Bonnie and Sky who are bound by debt, but the main funky bunch leave.

B) Slowly, these tards run out of "angel investors" and the troon patreon economy hits a dryspell, then mounting money problems topple things like workers off the farm and lower the animal count to an even less sustainable amount. Most of the tranch is left ironically Pennyless, and only a few people are left holding the balls. The ramch might even declare bankruptcy. Hell, if electricity becomes too scant I wouldn't be surprised if Kevin went to live with a different member of his polycule and slowly lose touch with mistress Phil.

C) Phil gets bored or depressed and leaves, having some sort of crisis or awakening as he would frame it as and fucking off with his slaves to a different troonventure (as he has fucked off from familes before). Bonnie and Sky are still left holding the ball.

D) A more extreme version of A: someone gets shot on accident, drama ensues. Or someone gets put in a home for early onset dementia, drama ensues.



Honestly can't see them pulling a Jonestown as they're all severely self centered. It wouldn't surprise me if one troon commits sudoku a chain reaction would occur, but unless Penny decides to really take his cult to the next level I doubt it.
 
From what I’m seeing online? Not really. There’s just not much of a market for alpaca wool in the U.S. And nobody here consumes alpaca meat. As mentioned in the OP, alpaca farming appears to operate like a pyramid scheme.

If there’s any money to be made at all, it’s in selling the animals you raise to suckers like the ladies at the tranch. I believe alpacas are advertised as easy to care for and maintain. They don’t require as much land, feed, water, specialized equipment and expertise as, say, cattle.

The tranchers would probably have been better off raising goats or sheep. At least there’s a market for their milk and meat. But I think I remember reading in the Kevin Gibes thread that they don’t want to slaughter animals in order to turn a profit. And raising livestock for milk is extremely hard work.

Here’s an article describing how the bottom fell out of the U.S. alpaca market several years ago, if you’re interested. TLDR is: avoid alpacas if you want to make money on a small farm.
Tbh if I had a farm I would probably keep two or three alpacas just for my own satisfaction. Alpacas are cute as buttons and I love them!
:heart-full:
Llamas are the more solid investment.
Llamas are low status uggos who should kill themselves.
 
Tumblr post FINALLY calling out the ranch:

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They don't really have the balls (haha I know) to actually do any harm. The moment conflict comes they cower and hide and point a finger and scream, even with the guns. If anything they'd instantly throw em down if the police come, or 41% themselves.

I don't even see these guys on the same level as the other cults, cause those atleast has a "charm" to them. These just seem like a bunch of degenerates running a farm to shit and boasting about it.
 
I am new to this whole story but the amazing OP has me hooked now.

And What The Fuck??
Capture.PNG
They really have wet cells just chilling in their basement venting in to that little house?
When worked hard lead acid batteries give off pure hydrogen (boom!) and Hydrogen Sulfide. H2S will eat their wiring and slowly poison them all. It's a broad spectrum poison that attacks different parts of your respiratory and nervous system.
 
A compound full of heavily armed, paranoid trannies sounds like a bad roll on a post-apocalyptic random encounters table.
It sounds like the four horsemen of the apocalypse encounter in the original fallout games.....except this time they're paranoid troons with guns and riding alpacas

Red Sun said:
I would say it's more likely that they tried to get across the threat of something dangerous like quicklime, but failed because they're dumb and think "acidic" is a synonym for "something that burns you without fire".

(For reference, this would burn you through an exothermic reaction with the moisture on your skin. It's not acidic, but it doesn't look so different to an observer.)

Not that an envelope full of quicklime is a huge threat, but I'd say it could burn you pretty bad if you're stupid enough to get an unidentified white substance in the mail and touch that with your hands.

Sounds about right, and the best part is its not even an acid, quicklime is an alkaline and caustic rather than acidic. That said, whether it did serious harm to whoever they would send it to or not doesn't matter much. What would fuck them is the fact they sent a caustic substance in the mail with the intent to do harm to someone. They would have crossed the line into automatic federal domestic terrorism territory doing that and would get their asses reamed by the feds over that one. One thing you absolutely do not do is send stuff like that through the US mail. The feds are paying you a visit if you do that no matter what your reasons or circumstances surrounding it were, per the patriot act. There is no way out of that that doesn't involve somebody doing jail time, which is why even the backwoods conspiracy loons living in huts in the woods have enough brains not to do that

Just loudspeakers blaring 'dude' and 'man' on a loop
Better yet just put this on a loop to piss them off:
 
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