Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[rubytintedchix]

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YouTube and video production are the smallest pieces of the pie chart because they are the things that Jack sucks the most at which is ironic considering that’s his “job”

 

[JackIsBlack]

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Looking forward to the TugJob service! That one good arm is going to get JACK’d!!

 

[Aaway]

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what a moronic way to advertise your "business."

"here, let me put youtube training and video production as the smallest sections of the pie so it seems like we're not very good at it." hey, at least he's being honest

 

[Super Hans]

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So here's my list of all the ways Jack Jack'd this up:

1. Text is different size fonts for each portion of the pie chart.
2. The text doesn't have a common alignment, whether it's with the other text, the center of the chart, the edge of a slice, or whatever else.
3. Don't abbreviate for one word but not do it for any other words that are both longer and more easily shortened. Don't shorten 'manager' to 'mngr' but then fail to put 'insurance' as 'ins' or 'production' as 'prod'.
4. Black text without a white outline makes it difficult to read on the blue and violet slices.
5. The size of the text doesn't fucking help, either.
6. White space out the ass. If Jack was paying to put this up as a real ad instead of welching off Twatter and Facebook, he'd be wasting a lot of cash compared to if he just did a basic crop of the edges.
7. Jack almost certainly stole this, as he does with every picture. He's too cheap to get Excel and too stupid to get LibreOffice.

I'm sure there's more, but I haven't had a marketing class in almost 15 years.

 

[rubytintedchix]

So here's my list of all the ways Jack Jack'd this up:

1. Text is different size fonts for each portion of the pie chart.
2. The text doesn't have a common alignment, whether it's with the other text, the center of the chart, the edge of a slice, or whatever else.
3. Don't abbreviate for one word but not do it for any other words that are both longer and more easily shortened. Don't shorten 'manager' to 'mngr' but then fail to put 'insurance' as 'ins' or 'production' as 'prod'.
4. Black text without a white outline makes it difficult to read on the blue and violet slices.
5. The size of the text doesn't fucking help, either.
6. White space out the ass. If Jack was paying to put this up as a real ad instead of welching off Twatter and Facebook, he'd be wasting a lot of cash compared to if he just did a basic crop of the edges.
7. Jack almost certainly stole this, as he does with every picture. He's too cheap to get Excel and too stupid to get LibreOffice.

I'm sure there's more, but I haven't had a marketing class in almost 15 years.

I would think it should be Social Media Management vs. Manager. Abbreviated it would be Mgmt. or just SMM. Strokey brain strikes again.

 

[January Cyst]

Is he using emojis that can't be rendered by the boomer text to image generator on facebook? He's been doing this for years and hasn't noticed how it just puts empty [obj] placeholders instead of the actual symbols.
I guess it shouldn't surprise me, since graphics design is his passion.

 

[Religion is Dead]

So here Jack is showcasing he doesn't understand how a paradox works, meaning he is about as smart as Wheatly, but not as funny. Also, Paul, Jack lies all the god damn time on Facebook.

 

[stets]

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So here Jack is showcasing he doesn't understand how a paradox works, meaning he is about as smart as Wheatly, but not as funny. Also, Paul, Jack lies all the god damn time on Facebook.

> jack posts something on Facebook designed to explain paradoxes to children and blow the minds of seven year-olds.
> jack doesn't understand it.

 

[Kosher Salt]

Is he using emojis that can't be rendered by the boomer text to image generator on facebook? He's been doing this for years and hasn't noticed how it just puts empty [obj] placeholders instead of the actual symbols.
I guess it shouldn't surprise me, since graphics design is his passion.

It's not a text-to-image generator, it's literally just text over a background. The fucked up unicode emojis are just typical unicode fuckery. Whatever device Jack was using supported them, and whatever device took the screenshot of the post didn't, because it's 2021 and supporting Unicode is still hard or something.

 

[Aaway]

two bags of cheese, ranch, cream cheese, and bacon. the only thing missing is mayo. surely this fits his profile by sanford diet plan

 

[Skeletor]

two bags of cheese, ranch, cream cheese, and bacon. the only thing missing is mayo. surely this fits his profile by sanford diet plan

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cheese, ranch, cream cheese, and bacon? Sounds 100% keto-friendly

 

[The Cum Consumer]

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So here Jack is showcasing he doesn't understand how a paradox works, meaning he is about as smart as Wheatly, but not as funny. Also, Paul, Jack lies all the god damn time on Facebook.

It's not even a paradox.

Spoiler: Math shit

This is a logical statement where, with A being the statement, we have A --> ~A. If A is true, then, according to the truth table for logical implications, ~A has to be true as well. (A and (~A)) is always false, so A can't be true. However, if A is false, then what is being implied doesn't matter. In other words, there is no paradox is the statement is false. Therefore, A is a lie.

 

[Aaway]

i love how he thinks that people actually fall for this shit. no jack, it's only dumb boomers like you

 

[DontEatThat]

two bags of cheese, ranch, cream cheese, and bacon. the only thing missing is mayo. surely this fits his profile by sanford diet plan

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Just what a perfectly balanced Scalfani meal requires, equal amounts of dairy, fat, sodium and meat (use veggies sparingly).

It's not even a paradox.

Spoiler: Math shit

This is a logical statement where, with A being the statement, we have A --> ~A. If A is true, then, according to the truth table for logical implications, ~A has to be true as well. (A and (~A)) is always false, so A can't be true. However, if A is false, then what is being implied doesn't matter. In other words, there is no paradox is the statement is false. Therefore, A is a lie.

So basically Jack bullshits all the time, even when he "tries" to be smart by fucking up understanding a logical statement.

 

[rubytintedchix]

two bags of cheese, ranch, cream cheese, and bacon. the only thing missing is mayo. surely this fits his profile by sanford diet plan

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He made this already. It turned out to be chicken crack soup.

 

[Aaway]

He made this already. It turned out to be chicken crack soup.

you're right. just watched the video again and honestly, it's one of his more repulsive food crimes in recent memory

 

[Rathalos]

two bags of cheese, ranch, cream cheese, and bacon. the only thing missing is mayo. surely this fits his profile by sanford diet plan

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Crazy crack chicken dip but not a line of cocaine in sight. Lying fat fuck.

 

[Buck Mullet]

you're right. just watched the video again and honestly, it's one of his more repulsive food crimes in recent memory

That he gets hyped about a recipe with "crack" in the name is doubly repulsive. His addiction to food has left him a barely mobile one armed mong, but he's oblivious to that.

If he survives the inevitable third stroke, he won't be long for this world if he has to go to a nursing home. Day after day of small portions of bland food will quickly kill his will to live.

 

[Adamska]

two bags of cheese, ranch, cream cheese, and bacon. the only thing missing is mayo. surely this fits his profile by sanford diet plan

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He's already done Crack Chicken, so this is just an excuse for him to eat more of that vomit looking slop. It squelched and oozed bad enough, it didn't need dip.

 

[Fatrick Hamlinson]

(Mild) onions are an okay substitute for leeks, I suppose, depending on why they're in the dish. Green onions would probably be better.

Also as a palate cleanser for Jacked-up nonsense, here's a guy who cooks elaborate, multi-day dishes without talking or showing his face, and has a ridiculous level of panache and style. And the ultimate results are awe inspiring.

Look at this Wellington.

Like Cowboy Kent, he doesn't use crepes (Kent used canned biscuit dough), but instead, a Chinese dough that is basically scallion pancake dough but without scallions, itself wrapped in layers of puff pastry, finished off with a gorgeous latticed puff pastry wrapping.

Next time I see a good tenderloin at a good price, I'll consider making a Wellington. I've been kind of afraid of this dish, especially that I'd completely Jack it up somehow, but after seeing Kent's and Alvin's versions, I think this is do-able. I think I'd do Kent's version because I just don't have it in me to do that fancy-schmancy pretty shit.

If Jack took all the useless bullshit out of his videos there wouldn't be any.

I tried a mix between Binging with Babish's Beef Wellington and Gordon Ramsay's. It was the best thing I've ever eaten, with the exception of a steak with Bordelaise sauce. I tend to not do "hard" dishes that require a lot of dexterity with my hands, but it turned out beautifully. My family was almost overwhelmed by the rich flavor. My recommendation is to cook the duxelle down thoroughly and make sure as much of the water is gone as possible. I'd also recommend salting the tenderloin overnight to remove any moisture. I'd also recommend the place I got my prime, dry-aged chateaubriand from, but they no longer ship out to other locations aside from Manhattan. That guy whose video you posted seems to be very calm and goes about his recipes methodically, unlike Jack. I like the substitution of the scallion pancake dough instead of what I used (puff pastry). I'll have to try it next time.

two bags of cheese, ranch, cream cheese, and bacon. the only thing missing is mayo. surely this fits his profile by sanford diet plan

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I'm continually amazed by how much Jack reminds me of the "Weber Cooks" show and Tim and Eric's cooking show. The lack of finesse and any actual technique applied to combining the ingredients or preparing them individually is impressive.