- Joined
- Jun 12, 2020
Jack Scalfani of all trades. Master of none.
Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
- Thread starter Gentlebastard
- Start date
StraightShooter2
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2020
Jack of all condiments. Master of mayo
Jack of all food poisoning. Master of salmonella
Jack of all of Aunt Myrna's recipes. Master of Party Cheese Salad.
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2020
Didn’t Gordon Ramsey (Jack’s idol) once say that only insecure chef’s coat every dish in balsamic and parsley? I feel like I saw that on an episode of Kitchen Nightmares.
Anyway, Jack is the epitome of that.
Anyway, Jack is the epitome of that.
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2020
This is hardly surprising. Most Aces (in Pig's area, at least) carry a wide selection of grills/grilling products and charcoal, usually Weber brand. As such, it wouldn't be entirely a shock to see a line of BBQ sauces on a nearby display.
Considering the fact that Ace is a retail co-op with management much easier to sweet-talk than a larger corporation like Home Depot, Pig can totally see Jack repeatedly trying to cold sell his gelatinous abominations to some undeserving, likely-middle-aged-to-elderly shop owner. After several attempts, they finally give in with "y'know, you're a pain in the ass, but you're a good kid, so I wanna give you this", thinking there's something in it for them too. Jack gets his endcap for a time, but lackluster sales quickly make it clear that there's nothing to justify keeping it. The endcap display is then quietly and unceremoniously retired in favor of something that will actually generate revenue (spackle, LED lightbulbs, mailboxes- hell, even a clearance rack would be better). <<Have actually witnessed this occur.>>
Dear Fucking God, what a rare, splendid find that is!! We NEVER get to see Jack in all of his disabled glory- It's not difficult to see why he makes such an effort to avoid wide-angle shots, opting for close-ups instead...he knows he's fucked up, and there's a definite sense of shame behind it. If Pig were capable of feeling shame, it'd feel it too, knowing deep down that it's a self-inflicted wound that's lagging on one's right side- he's not even fucking limping at this point, this invalid is fucking...waddling. Waddling like a fucking penguin! Toddlers have surer footing than this retard. BWAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHARHARHARHAR!!! *squeeaalllll*
If Pig were Charles, it would've followed Jack around with the cam, catching more and more of that gimped-out goodness for the audience. Imagine how uncomfortable and standoffish Jack would be in that situation. Pig isn't convinced that Charles is that much of an asshole, though. There's probably a fair amount of resentment on both sides- Pig doubts that Jack and Charles speak much these days
.Fucking atrocious. The first thought that came to mind upon seeing those veiny sections of melted parmesan was the plasmodium phase of slime mold fungi. Fucking A..
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2013
Jack would just have to have an in with whoever owned some Ace Hardware stores in his area. In my state there are Ace Hardware stores in some pretty remote areas so it must not take that much capital to start one. He goes to a megachurch that looks an awful lot like they preach the Prosperity Gospel heresy, so it wouldn't surprise me if the connection was through that church. There's zero chance he would get a deal with Home Depot. Come to think of it, I was just at Home Depot the other day and I didn't see any BBQ sauce for sale there even though they had all their grills on display since it's spring and it's not pissing down rain every day (just every other day). Maybe Home Depot thinks that it's not profitable to sell BBQ sauce at a hardware store?
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- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
There's also the matter that a decade or so ago he wasn't the absolute failure view wise and reach wise he is now. Remember, this idiot somehow got on an infomercial and on a TV show. Fucked them up hard, but he did it. That and knowing him from Church and being slightly able to hide his manchild ways?
Easy pickings to have a shelf or two of your stuff there. I reckon it went away a couple months afterwards due to shit sales, but if you know the owner of an Ace, you can get stuff on there if you sell it right to them or have an in with them.
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2016
Specifically, Ramsey was referring to chefs that put sprigs of parsley upon dishes and make a balsamic reduction pattern on the plate when serving to make it look fancy.
Jack did not get to that point.
captkrisma
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Gordon also laments people who use truffle oil, saying that most add waaaaaay too much.
Sounds like a plan.
Aaway
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2016
he also had his sauce for sale in close to 200 walmart locations back when he lived in CA and up until 3-4 years ago i'd say
speaking of the sauce, he mentioned on his last live chat (three weeks ago) that he supposedly had a "big update" regarding the company. wonder if he finally got a buyer after a year
Charlie Delicious
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2017
Fun fact
There's no truffle in truffle oil
There's no truffle in truffle oil
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2020
https://www.tennessean.com/story/ne...re-passes-permitless-handgun-bill/7049477002/
Tennessee is 1 step away from being a Constitutional Carry state.
Tennessee is 1 step away from being a Constitutional Carry state.
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2020
Did anyone else see this tidbit? I wonder how Jack will feel about this, you know, being on top of all of the tech news and latest trends as he often does with his screaming hot takes.
>>> YouTube May Hide Dislikes <<<
>>> YouTube May Hide Dislikes <<<
Aaway
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 8, 2016
he'll praise it and boast about how he hid his likes/dislikes years ago because of all the "haters"
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2020
Remember how he was like “I was at YouTube headquarters for a conference” back in the CA days, I wonder if he’ll play it off as if he was in some kind of influencer focus group.
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2018
That's 30 free seconds to stretch out the video longer. Yes, a half minute of painful disabled hand fumbling.
If Jack took all the useless bullshit out of his videos they would never qualify for mid-roll ads.
captkrisma
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
This. Jack no longer has his sauce company or half of his merch, so he can't put up long as fuck bumpers to pad out his time.
I filmed the coffee pork tenderloin and with intro, outro, intro bumper card, and shit I haven't cut out it doesn't end up being 10 minutes. Total raw footage was roughly 6 minutes before I edit so I would have to talk for roughly 4 minutes after cuts to equal Jack's time for the recipe. Granted that's not hard for me to do because Jack fucks up so much, but having a video that's half me sitting in a studio talking isn't entertaining.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
(Mild) onions are an okay substitute for leeks, I suppose, depending on why they're in the dish. Green onions would probably be better.
Also as a palate cleanser for Jacked-up nonsense, here's a guy who cooks elaborate, multi-day dishes without talking or showing his face, and has a ridiculous level of panache and style. And the ultimate results are awe inspiring.
Look at this Wellington.
Like Cowboy Kent, he doesn't use crepes (Kent used canned biscuit dough), but instead, a Chinese dough that is basically scallion pancake dough but without scallions, itself wrapped in layers of puff pastry, finished off with a gorgeous latticed puff pastry wrapping.
Next time I see a good tenderloin at a good price, I'll consider making a Wellington. I've been kind of afraid of this dish, especially that I'd completely Jack it up somehow, but after seeing Kent's and Alvin's versions, I think this is do-able. I think I'd do Kent's version because I just don't have it in me to do that fancy-schmancy pretty shit.
If Jack took all the useless bullshit out of his videos there wouldn't be any.
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2013
Yeah well it wouldn't be a Jack video if he didn't fuck something up along the way.
I could understand if those onions were sliced thinner. Or if he used shallots or something other than those big honking pieces of onion. This is about flavor and not just adding something because you have it in the fridge. Or the "fridgerator" as he says. Seriously. First time I've ever heard anybody refer to it as the "fridgerator".
Charlie Delicious
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2017
captkrisma
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
So...decided to make the brussel sprouts tonight. I didn't smash them down (because why?) didn't add shitty bacon, used leeks, used fresh parmesian, and used measurements.
The leeks filled the gaps within the pan instead of crowding like the onions. Jack's would be sour as shit with all the balsamic vinegar he added. Mine had a slight sweetness to it, but overall very balanced.
The leeks filled the gaps within the pan instead of crowding like the onions. Jack's would be sour as shit with all the balsamic vinegar he added. Mine had a slight sweetness to it, but overall very balanced.