I am a crime scene cleaner, ama kiwi edition - Annnd I live in a high gun crime state

Oh and does the smell of death leech into your skin so after work catching a beer with the boys is not advisable until you decontaminate yourself?
 
Old Man Mario said:
Ever been to a scene where you wanted to high five the corpse. Like someone who built a Rube Goldberg Machine to kill himself?
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I've been to a scene that I would've given the guy an a for effort.
Okay so the guy was a terminally ill cancer patient, the cancer was spreading so there was no hope for him to survive, he read this suicide book that taught him how to kill himself peacefully, to not traumatize the wife more than necessary he sent his wife on vacation decided on the day she would return home he would off himself the night before so his body would be relatively fresh. He took pills put a bag on his head fell asleep and peacefully went to his death even put some plastic sheets down, but the wife stayed another week found his bloated corpse oozing juices, and I had to clean it up. a for effort atleast he chose a not gruesome way out.
Disheveled Human said:
Oh and does the smell of death leech into your skin so after work catching a beer with the boys is not advisable until you decontaminate yourself?
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I have to shower for an hour or two before going out, most of it because I feel so dirty. it tends to stick if I am cleaining a pretty gruesome deatrh.
Oliveoil said:
What is the most nasty way you have seen someone die?

What is the weirdest?
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one of the customers had a relative die from trying to shove a life sized horse cock dildo up his ass, fucking trailed blood every where, I don't see people die I see the mess they leave behind, despite the occasional sex weirdo shit I will still say shotgun to the head is the nasiest.
all though 800 deathfat costed a real estate insurance agency a whooping 100,000 simply in man hours and thats not even accounting for other costs.
likeacrackado said:
How long did it take you to become desensitized to the 'regular' stuff(ie suicides)?
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A year, people commit die all the time, people kill other people, its simply a fact of life, kids get to me though luckily the people who assign me the jobs don't tell me the specifics on how the kid dies.
Jewthulhu said:
Just think of it whenever you have a slow month or need some extra cash
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people die all the time, and literally insurance companies don't shirk on this service because having people find random bits or blood or bone in their apartments isn't good for business, it's actually probably needed the same as undertakers, if people stop killing people or commiting suicide, there's still undiscovered deaths like the 800 pound fat man, and assholes cooking meth shoddily, so I never run out of jobs, truthfully if I didn't took me time I'd probably have a lot more cash than I have right now, but me time is important, and I can live comfortable so money is never really an issue.

Please note, this business is a really neccesary business because people don't know what to after a traumatic event such as seeing a loved one die, while inwardly I am jaded, I can tell when a suicide is a cry of attention or just a means to opt out of life, normally the ones that simply want to opt out of life are the ones that try and make their death as quick and as painless as possible, I would say shot guns would fall in to it, but those who seek attention would 9 times out 10 fail and leave a bloody scene and I am talking bloody mess in their wake. I have to be courteous but inwardly I am laughing hard, because it's like bitch it's down the road not across the street.
just remember if you need to opt out, read the final exit, and plan for their method, because it requires perfect timing if you live alone, or slit your wrists and do it the bath tub if you don't want your loved ones to be horrified, personally I don't care because I bill by the hour, more guts more time, more money, but I do atleast give a shit about making the room as it if never happened. so keep that in mind.
 
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I've been watching a lot of crime scene cleanup videos in the past month and I find it fascinating.
A few questions come to mind:
1. What type of PPE do you use for biohazard situations?
2. How are contaminated items (blood, urine, feces, skin, decomposition fluid, etc) ultimately disposed of after they are removed from the cleanup site?
3. What is entailed in a meth lab cleanup?
 
Liber Pater said:
I've been watching a lot of crime scene cleanup videos in the past month and I find it fascinating.
A few questions come to mind:
1. What type of PPE do you use for biohazard situations?
2. How are contaminated items (blood, urine, feces, skin, decomposition fluid, etc) ultimately disposed of after they are removed from the cleanup site?
3. What is entailed in a meth lab cleanup?
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1. mask gloves googles disposable zip up plastic body suits depending on how bad of a situation like for example methlabs we use actual fucking oxygen tanks with masks.
2. Contaminated items are bagged or marked contaminated hauled into one of our vans and taken to a waste management company that specializes in disposing contaminated items, where they incinerate the biohazard materials.
3. We have to literally clean, then clean, and clean yet again the whole entire house, while fucking actually blowing fans in every fucking window, to help the contaminates escape. if there's carpets we completely take them out, tear out whole parts of the wall, scrub down floors and walls over and over again, like cleaning a methlab takes at least month because even if the jack ass has it in one room, tyhe whole house is still affected, we have to use alot of industrial grade cleaners and before we call the job done, the inspector has to ensure the toxic levels of the house is at a safe level before its done, it takes atleast 3 deep cleaning before its done, or sometimes as much as 6, those tend to to pay more simply because of more time and a equipment required.
Not a fake name said:
Do you/How many of your co workers drive a hearse? ( and not in a funeral home capacity)

How many times have you tried to bring and bang goth chicks at work?
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no we use industrial vans, none because I am woman.
oldTireWater said:
Thoughts on Pulp Fiction?
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never watched it.
 
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Do you have any idea how payment plans work for familes who experience a tragedy and will obviously never be able to afford the cleanup cost? Are the companies willing to negotiate on this sort of thing or are you just fucked and stuck doing it yourself if you can't pay the cost?
 
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L50LasPak said:
Do you have any idea how payment plans work for familes who experience a tragedy and will obviously never be able to afford the cleanup cost? Are the companies willing to negotiate on this sort of thing or are you just fucked and stuck doing it yourself if you can't pay the cost?
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Most of the time for home owners their home insurance covers it, and if you live in an apartment your landlord is responsible for the cost, and they too have insurance, as for the few who are virtually fucked I've only at that point just charged for the cost of supplies which tbh is small compared to man hours. most of the time with other businesses and areas, yes they're stuck cleaning it themselves. but 9 times our of 10 if you live in an apartment or have home owners insurance, yes someone will else would cover that bill. Then again before the death industry really became like the capitalized giant it is today, alot people cleaned up after death in their own homes.

A good thing to know if you want to remove blood out of fabrics, hydrogen peroxide with cold water, it removes blood better than bleach and its foot print.


BooWoo said:
Be honest. Is this you?
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No its not me, although one of my friends worked for the guy, hes a real dick irl, but not alot of empathetic people work this job too, you either cope with it using dark humor or gtfo. I live in Detroit he's California based, and tbh besides la Detroit has provided alot of gun crime for me to clean up after.
 
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Do you also do other clean ups or just deaths?
A buddy of mine does Trauma Services aswell, but also goes to clean up homeless encampments and used needles.
 
jell0 said:
Do you also do other clean ups or just deaths?
A buddy of mine does Trauma Services aswell, but also goes to clean up homeless encampments and used needles.
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hoarding situations, methlabs, and sometimes cleaning up a crack houses; although most of the time city services clean up after the homeless.
 
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