DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[DeeTracktor]

He looks so um...''special'' in that silver vest

 

[fuckshitsnake]

Mission failed, we will get them next time.

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Oh no, it looks like Phil's little April Fool's stunts came around to bite him in the ass!

...but tomorrow is a new day for the prison bitches in his chat to reopen their wallets and pay him $200 in tomorrow's stream to make up for this one. In fact, I look forward to the day Phil starts slapping higher tip goals in future streams to make up the difference of what he didn't earn in the prior ones (while still resetting to a flat $100 every time the goals are exceeded, of course).

 

[NotValKilmer]

As others have already said, the extra good days are supposed to carry you through the slow ones. You SET ASIDE the surplus money from the good days for those bad days Phil, you fucking idiot. What the hell is that sandwich shop metaphor about? Nobody asked you to stop streaming, just to stop crying like a bitch when you don't make $200 every day.

Of course this is all a moot point anyway, since you don't actually run a business. All you do is play games piss poorly and guilt trip retards out of their government checks.

 

[Need Help With Tips]

Mystery solved boys, Minecraft made Phil into the robust and mature adult we see before us today.

"If I were on here and I was saying stuff like man - anyone who plays Fortnite is a braindead idiot mouth drooling moron"
You mean like you have before? Recently too, within the last 2-3 years.
There he goes again pulling the "I don't do that anymore dood I'm mature now, 10 years ago I wasn't!" card without realizing he still does and says the same things

This is why I love Phil's "chill streams" where he has plenty of time to rant and give his opinion on things, he can't do them without shooting himself in the foot.

 

[MoonRocker]

Hey, Phil, I’m going to let you in on a little secret... you ready? You don’t sell a service nor produce anything you unappreciative, entitled fucking sociopath. You literally do nothing but park your fat lazy ass in front of a 480p webcam and beg for money simply for existing.

These awful business analogies do not work because you don’t own or manage a business; you shake the equivalent of your virtual tin cup and demand that people pay you because of the so-called content you force yourself to put out there. I think you’re sadly mistaken if you believe there is demand for the content that you vomit out on a daily basis.

Your dwindling viewer base and your inability to have any influence within the industry you operate in should tell you all that you need to know: you’re completely irrelevant and nobody would notice if you were to stop streaming tomorrow.

So, yeah, please don’t ever compare yourself to an entity that actually attempts to create some nominal value and actually do something for their community because you’re anything but a decrepit parasite who refuses to admit that their two years of “popularity” have long been extinguished.

 

[marlintan]

It says plain as day Sword Art Online under the katakana

I must be Superblindman because all I see is kanji on my flip phone. Forgive me.

So Phil's still boring and spent all his money on jpegs already. Ain't that an unforeseen outcome? Great work tracking that. At one point he called the Diamatti guns from cold war the Diabetty guns. I'll look it up later and happy animu day. I guess I did okay in the lottery. Some crazy self sacrificing mage from Fate who gets to bang a genderflipped King Arthur.
While Ui Omen Goku is pretty up there, it's not even his final form and I'd argue the true winner is whoever got Spike Spiegel.

Diamatti is Italian for Diamond, it's supposed to be a "raffica" or "burst", it's a beretta 93,(same as a 92/m9, but with a different safety position that allows 3 rounds to fire in a row), much like the m16a3, but, with a much less complicated/girthy system; from my understanding.

 

[Generic_Detractor2021]

"If I were on here and I was saying stuff like man - anyone who plays Fortnite is a braindead idiot mouth drooling moron"
You mean like you have before? Recently too, within the last 2-3 years.

I was on PPG looking for the quote (because he's said something very similar to it in the past), and listen to this snort I came across... Jesus. It happens at 9:01

 

[Jazz never died!]

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I know it's possible to solo a lot of MonHun these days compared to prior releases, but, c'mon, we all know exactly why he's avoiding it.

Monster Hunter isn't hard though it requires patience and preparation and tactics like Metal Gear but not as shallow but this is Phil the worst gamer ever and his "fans" carry him through it. Does he even like Monster Hunter or is he playing it so he can "play" with his "fans".

he posted this list a while ago on twitter, nearly every comment was mentioning pokemon snap

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Five of those games are remakes/remasters so he can skip them if he played them and Life Is Strange is a game that focuses heavily on the story with no substantial gameplay other than collecting shit and making choices that don't really effect the plot. God Phil try playing some more new games.

 

[Gensou Hadou]

As others have already said, the extra good days are supposed to carry you through the slow ones. You SET ASIDE the surplus money from the good days for those bad days Phil, you fucking idiot. What the hell is that sandwich shop metaphor about? Nobody asked you to stop streaming, just to stop crying like a bitch when you don't make $200 every day.

Of course this is all a moot point anyway, since you don't actually run a business. All you do is play games piss poorly and guilt trip retards out of their government checks.

This guy claims he was taught that a rainy day fund is money you set aside to spend on a literal rainy day, when your plans are ruined and there's nothing you can do because it's raining. You expect him to save for emergencies?

he posted this list a while ago on twitter, nearly every comment was mentioning pokemon snap

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Also, I hope to god he doesn't play Nier Replicant. On the bright side, at least he won't ruin it-- just stare silently at the screen until he needs to read a cheer, sub, or tip, completely apathetic to the game's great story. Also not-zero odds he'll bored-quit as soon as Kainé shows up in her underwear, which would be a good thing.

 

[Surly Muppet]

"If I were on here and I was saying stuff like man - anyone who plays Fortnite is a braindead idiot mouth drooling moron"

See, now he is mature enough to not say this explicitly. He just says its for children, full of kiddie shit, and that certain adult streamers exploit this, playing a game for kids. And then he rolls his eyes and smirks and says 'I'm just saying, if they want to do that, it's fine. But I'm here making meaningful, mature content.'

So he moved from the elementary school playground where he'd insult things and people outright, and now he is at middle school mean girl maturity, where he says the same thing but implicitly, because he is so sneaky and smart. When he hits 60, we'll hear about how immature he was at 39.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

I always love this metaphor, because it doesn't hold up to the slightest bit of scrutiny. The sandwich shop doesn't like ever tell me that it really needs the help, or really needs the business. In fact, you will usually see the sandwich shop taking good days and doing something with that money. Perhaps paying their employees more. Maybe having more ingredients on hand. Maybe getting another employee to stay open later. Like, the sandwich shop tends to reward the parts that make it move when it does well, because anyone with half a brain can tell you that's when a business does better. Instead of lining its own pockets and then saying, hey I really need you to buy the extra deluxe sandwich. And then giving the same sandwich that everyone else gets anyway.

Also, the sandwich shop doesn't have a crippling addiction to WWE Champions which causes it to throw any money it gets day into a financial black hole filled with sweaty men.

 

[NotValKilmer]

No matter how boring the DSP saga gets sometimes, it keeps getting funnier(or more sad) as time goes by and you see that after having his debt cleared, the vest streak, etc. Phil has still made ZERO progress in bettering his future. All that bullshit talk about his ten year plan, finally going on that honey moon with Kat, blah blah blah.

Nope. Still the same loser in "dire straits" week after week, in danger of not being able to feed his roommate or her cat. Phil is the definition of pathetic. He has nothing to show for any of the gift wrapped opportunities he's been given. He knows this too, that's why he drinks and becomes a shittier person with every passing day that he wakes up.

 

[ProvenWrong]

No matter how boring the DSP saga gets sometimes, it keeps getting funnier(or more sad) as time goes by and you see that after having his debt cleared, the vest streak, etc. Phil has still made ZERO progress in bettering his future. All that bullshit talk about his ten year plan, finally going on that honey moon with Kat, blah blah blah.

Nope. Still the same loser in "dire straits" week after week, in danger of not being able to feed his roommate or her cat. Phil is the definition of pathetic. He has nothing to show for any of the gift wrapped opportunities he's been given. He knows this too, that's why he drinks and becomes a shittier person with every passing day that he wakes up.

Wonder what ever happened to his THREE PONGED PLAN? Lmao.

That shit vanished quicker then Kat being on a stream.

 

[Fill Bern El]

Mystery solved boys, Minecraft made Phil into the robust and mature adult we see before us today.

Phil wasn't mature 10 years ago...At the age of *check notes* uhh...28?

 

[NotValKilmer]

Phil wasn't mature 10 years ago...At the age of *check notes* uhh...28?

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I wish someone in his chat would remind him how old he is everytime he goes on one of his "That was a decade ago, I was immature" rants.

Just goes to show how stunted his development is for him to look back at being 28 like he was 16.

EDIT: of course when you're just pulling bullshit out of your ass you don't really have to worry about details like numbers.

 

[Hard Toothbrush]

I don't know if it's been proposed before but I genuinely would love Phil to jump on the chess bandwagon.

It's a game with very clearly defined rules, goals and strategies (so no excuse for "I didn't know what to do!"). Lag doesn't really affect anything since time controls can be very generous. It can run on his potato of a computer. It's a mature game for adults with no possibility of any romance happening in-game. It's free. It exploded in popularity because of COVID keeping everyone inside. And, as @tzgnilki mentioned, Phil claimed being an exceptionally good chess player in school.

C'mon Phil you can do it! I'm sure you could get into PogChamps 4 if you applied that grit and determination that got you 4th place at EVO! Show them that you've still got what it takes to become the best!

Spoiler

plus if he actually got into pogchamps it would be hilarious to see him interact with GM chess coaches or see him banned for using a chess engine

Spoiler

what am I even saying that'd require setting the engine up

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

Phil is a bumbling bufoon, any time he critiques about "how you should run an actual business" his hypocrisy truly shines, he's never held down any long term dedicated job or project in his pathetic life, playing vidya for over a decade now has turned his brain into bigger slop then it already was.

Just from his financial track record alone shows just how undeveloped and lackluster his maturity, logic, morals and critical thinking really is.

His only form is relevance is his terrible track record, in every that he's done, especially when he became a "mature adult with a business degree".

 

[blahblahblah678]

I don't know if it's been proposed before but I genuinely would love Phil to jump on the chess bandwagon.

It's a game with very clearly defined rules, goals and strategies (so no excuse for "I didn't know what to do!"). Lag doesn't really affect anything since time controls can be very generous. It can run on his potato of a computer. It's a mature game for adults with no possibility of any romance happening in-game. It's free. Finally, it exploded in popularity because of COVID keeping everyone inside.

C'mon Phil you can do it! I'm sure you could get into PogChamps 4 if you applied that grit and determination that got you 4th place at EVO! Show them that you've still got what it takes to become the best!

Spoiler

plus if he actually got into pogchamps it would be hilarious to see him interact with GM chess coaches or see him banned for using a chess engine

Ben Feingold would absolutely roast Phil. He’s probably the most sarcastic of all chess GMs online and he’s absolutely hilarious.

 

[Fill Bern El]

I don't know if it's been proposed before but I genuinely would love Phil to jump on the chess bandwagon.

It's a game with very clearly defined rules, goals and strategies (so no excuse for "I didn't know what to do!"). Lag doesn't really affect anything since time controls can be very generous. It can run on his potato of a computer. It's a mature game for adults with no possibility of any romance happening in-game. It's free. Finally, it exploded in popularity because of COVID keeping everyone inside.

C'mon Phil you can do it! I'm sure you could get into PogChamps 4 if you applied that grit and determination that got you 4th place at EVO! Show them that you've still got what it takes to become the best!

Spoiler

plus if he actually got into pogchamps it would be hilarious to see him interact with GM chess coaches or see him banned for using a chess engine

If he EVER plays chess whether it's on Chess.com, Lichess, or Chess 24, I swear to GOD I WILL BODY THIS MOTHERFUCKER NONSTOP

Chess requires THINKING, first of all, requiring you to calculate multiple lines on the fly and on unexpected moves, and if you don't want to suck complete ass you have to MEMORIZE THEORY, WHICH REQUIRES WORK/PRACTICE/EFFORT, which we KNOW phil is incapable of

Not to mention practical things such as trades, positional understand and advantage, end game knowledge, I could go on and on but basically Phil is completely fucked if he ever decides to play Chess

His chess streams are going to 100% be facing bots because to get good at chess you have to lose A LOT

 

[tzgnilki]

I don't know if it's been proposed before but I genuinely would love Phil to jump on the chess bandwagon.

It's a game with very clearly defined rules, goals and strategies (so no excuse for "I didn't know what to do!"). Lag doesn't really affect anything since time controls can be very generous. It can run on his potato of a computer. It's a mature game for adults with no possibility of any romance happening in-game. It's free. Finally, it exploded in popularity because of COVID keeping everyone inside.

C'mon Phil you can do it! I'm sure you could get into PogChamps 4 if you applied that grit and determination that got you 4th place at EVO! Show them that you've still got what it takes to become the best!

Spoiler

plus if he actually got into pogchamps it would be hilarious to see him interact with GM chess coaches or see him banned for using a chess engine

dave has mentioned in the past that he was one of the best chess players in his school, which would make any chess games extra juicy cause it's no secret that he's a dumbass

I just hope some big brain chess players can explain if he's trying to copy some certain strategy from the first page of google