Plagued Consoomers / Consoomer Culture - Because if it has a recogniseable brand on it, I’d buy it!

[Dagobert]

All of these are hideous, but it doesn't compare to them releasing COVID-19 "heroes" Funko Pops
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This along with the Ruth Ginsberg funko I seem to recall having seen makes me wonder when we are getting the George Floyd and Fentanol funko pops.

 

[Gar For Archer]

When I first saw the words "Funko Pops" thrown around online, I thought it was some weeb candy like Pocky or something. No shit. I basically imagined it was some kind of neon-colored ring pop or candy cane. I ended up asking my buddy what the fuck it was, and it took a little bit of effort to comprehend his explanation... plastic figures? You mean like action figures? Why are people talking about it? What's the gimmick?

Took me some exposure to understand that it was just metastasized consumer product, literally a meta-figurine that no longer has it's own brand or nerdshit fantasy story but a blank METABRAND that can wear any other trend like a skin suit. From a marketing perspective it's brilliant, but it's also just about the dumbest, most useless shit I've ever seen.

The real gimmick is artificial rarity. While most pops are widely distributed and fairly mundane, there’s also store-exclusives, event-exclusives or convention-exclusives, along with different rarer variants that are still widely distributed (“chases” are 1 in 6 of a normal pop).

Yeah, but those toys are presumably for actual children who just see it as a cute doggy with fun, bright colors.

Since there's been a little discussion of this, I am 100% sure funko pops are intended and marketed for adults. I don't think they were ever intended to be a kid thing.

This isn’t even up for debate, they’re collectibles, not toys. Some things like $300 Transformers and posable anime figures kinda straddle the line in that they can TECHNICALLY be played with and TECHNICALLY could be considered a toy, but Funko Pops have only one purpose, which is to sit on a shelf or a desk.

 

[Dark Edea]

One thing I learned, is that the figures need to "breath". Or else the plastic will break down and turn sticky. This probably applies to the Funko Pops too.

That's the hot glue.

 

[Pinochet Was Right]

The thing that makes me almost go MATI is that they KEEP THE SHITPOPS IN THE BOX.

There's nothing special about the box, and these aren't "valuable mint collection pieces", they're the equivalent of a happy fucking meal toy. But let's say they go valuable in 50 years (if the plastic hasn't long decayed by then). If every funkosexual is doing that, then there will NEVER be anything special about the box.

I mean, when the average bugman gets into Pops, they reasonably should have to be drawn to the actual content - the undertale degenerates should get first interested in a super deformed figure of one of the fucking skeletons that happens to be a Pop, the Marvelites should want a Baby Groot and get interested in the Pop bobblehead, and so on. Which means they should be interested in the actual figurine inside the box.

But they don't. It's like a tenet of the "Funko Pop Consoomer Subculture".

Ruth Ginsberg funko

No. This is an April Fools. No way in hell. No. NO. NO, GOD! NO, GOD, PLEASE, NO.
>checks google
NO! NO! NOOOOOO

 

[Vingle]

That's the hot glue.

It's the plastiser to stabilise the PVC, so technically not wrong. It makes it soft or some shit.

Plastic sweating - Funko Funatic

 

[Gar For Archer]

The thing that makes me almost go MATI is that they KEEP THE SHITPOPS IN THE BOX.

There's nothing special about the box, and these aren't "valuable mint collection pieces", they're the equivalent of a happy fucking meal toy. But let's say they go valuable in 50 years (if the plastic hasn't long decayed by then). If every funkosexual is doing that, then there will NEVER be anything special about the box.

I mean, when the average bugman gets into Pops, they reasonably should have to be drawn to the actual content - the undertale degenerates should get first interested in a super deformed figure of one of the fucking skeletons that happens to be a Pop, the Marvelites should want a Baby Groot and get interested in the Pop bobblehead, and so on. Which means they should be interested in the actual figurine inside the box.

But they don't. It's like a tenet of the "Funko Pop Consoomer Subculture".

No. This is an April Fools. No way in hell. No. NO. NO, GOD! NO, GOD, PLEASE, NO.
>checks google
NO! NO! NOOOOOO

tbf, I doubt the majority of funko pops are going to “collectors”. If that were true, there’s no way they’d have them in big retail stores. Most of them probably ARE just going to normies who pick up a few of characters they like. Everyone probably knows a friend or a coworker who has a couple Funkos, maybe even a small collection of 20-30, but I doubt there’s a lot of people who hoard this shit.

 

[Pinochet Was Right]

tbf, I doubt the majority of funko pops are going to “collectors”. If that were true, there’s no way they’d have them in big retail stores. Most of them probably ARE just going to normies who pick up a few of characters they like. Everyone probably knows a friend or a coworker who has a couple Funkos, maybe even a small collection of 20-30, but I doubt there’s a lot of people who hoard this shit.

Everybody I know who has fuckos, even if they only have a couple and aren't interested in hoarding them, keeps it in its fucking box. Always neatly stacked or lined up even if it's just 4 of them like it's Tetris.

 

[Kikkoman]

History does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.

 

[Kabuki Actor]

History does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.

Beanie Babies were recognizable as toys. When my untainted soul saw a wall of beanie babies at an IHOP, that was something I saw as a wide selection of toy animals for children to choose, not a site for devotion to Moloch.

 

[Dark Edea]

It's the plastiser to stabilise the PVC, so technically not wrong. It makes it soft or some shit.

Plastic sweating - Funko Funatic

That wasn't the hot glue I was talking about.

 

[Vingle]

That wasn't the hot glue I was talking about.

Why not both? I bet Funko Pop soyboys waves their stick over their precious hoarding. We kinda need a reason for why they're hoarding it

 

[seri0us]

One of the biggest consoomers, and possibly the most vile, in my opinion has to be Pokemon fans. If you even so slightly critique any game/episode/movie/character, they somehow think it's a legitimate attack on their health. They absolutely cannot fathom that someone would dislike anything involving Pokemon. It's almost like they think Nintendo/Gamefreak is a real person, so fragile and helpless that they need to protect at all costs. They'll even attempt to cancel each other as well if an opinion isn't shared. Pronouns-In-Bios will come in droves if you mention that you dislike 1 gimmick in any game.

Pokemon is for loser wannabe-nerd babbies.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

It came to me just now, there was a sub called r/consumeproduct that got banned a year or two ago because it devolved into an absolute mess of people a-logging consoomers.

I remember going there. The reason it got banned was because it talked about race relations and God's Chosen People™ in a doubleplusungood way.

 

[Pinochet Was Right]

They also dunked on troons.

 

[Xerxes IX]

this is a great thread. Consoomers are insane, aggressive, with very little opposition to the point you'll find that each one seems to act like they're some sort of king. The products they consume with gluttony turn them into unlikable fucking monsters. It's one thing to be enthused about something of course, but these people seem to mentally de-evolve right where corporations want them to.

One of the biggest consoomers, and possibly the most vile, in my opinion has to be Pokemon fans. If you even so slightly critique any game/episode/movie/character, they somehow think it's a legitimate attack on their health. They absolutely cannot fathom that someone would dislike anything involving Pokemon. It's almost like they think Nintendo/Gamefreak is a real person, so fragile and helpless that they need to protect at all costs. They'll even attempt to cancel each other as well if an opinion isn't shared. Pronouns-In-Bios will come in droves if you mention that you dislike 1 gimmick in any game.

I would say Nintendo consoomers as a whole are unlikable faggots, but the Pokemon fans are an entirely different breed.

edit; I also forgot to add, Pokemon consoomers have absolutely 0 problem spending their (or their gubment bux/parentbux) hard earned money on ANYTHING that will get them access to more Pokemon. To the point they will openly mock people for being "poor" or unwilling to submit to the Nintendo overlord.

What's even worse are the ones who slavishly buy every new Pokemon thing while complaining about it and cursing Gamefreak for being a horrible company. It's pathetic that they can't stop consooming even when they hate it, that franchise is a lost cause and continuing to consume every product won't make the company turn around and suddenly bring the magic of their childhoods back.

Same goes with Star Wars. If you think Disney destroyed Star Wars why are you spending money to watch, read, or play what they put out?

 

[Local Fed]

What's even worse are the ones who slavishly buy every new Pokemon thing while complaining about it and cursing Gamefreak for being a horrible company. It's pathetic that they can't stop consooming even when they hate it, that franchise is a lost cause and continuing to consume every product won't make the company turn around and suddenly bring the magic of their childhoods back.

Same goes with Star Wars. If you think Disney destroyed Star Wars why are you spending money to watch, read, or play what they put out?

Sounds like so many people that I see complaining about video games, especially for sports franchises like Madden.

 

[Toolbox]

What the fuck is with the different fonts every word or two shirts? My brain reads them in different voices, and it drives me up the wall.

T-Shirt designers after the apocalypse

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Same goes with Star Wars. If you think Disney destroyed Star Wars why are you spending money to watch, read, or play what they put out?

Because they let it be a part of their identity for too long and now are scared of leaving it behind.

Sounds like so many people that I see complaining about video games, especially for sports franchises like Madden.

Some of the people who i went to school with are still buying Fifa every single year and have been doing it since middle school, thats about two decades of buying the same game. At this point is like a ritual, not buying Fifa one year is like not celebrating Christmas.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Beanie babies can at least be comforting to hug. Where's the comfort in hugging a Funko Pop?

 

[Jeff Boomhauer]

I wonder if these Funko Pop consoomers bought all the Fortnite Pops that clogged up every department store electronics section.

They're probably the ones that would go on Reddit and screech about how awful Fortnite is, to boot.