Shut up niggers, we’ve got a New Episode Today.
Happy Easter, the dog keeps waking Dick up all night. Some riffing on Jesus, and debate on Ralph’s height. Dick’s now holding a weight loss contest, because all y’all are fat and I wouldn’t have sex with you. Dick also doesn’t have cancer, and he went camping last week. During his sabbatical, he realized that clothes make people look fat. This just in, Dick is starting to learn how to dress himself.
Happy White Boi Summer, White Claws and Sunburns for all. Dick has finally became a real Mexican, and his dad gave him a gas weedwacker. He can’t work the thing, he broke it, it makes him a rage. He got a battery one, and it turns out so did his dad. Waka waka.
44 dollar minimum wage, why not? Moneys not real anyways. Also, turns out everyone’s racist, especially against Whites. Jokes with Hitler are a no-no, somethings up with Dominion that I don’t know about, California teachers want free child care because of course they do. I thought that was called ‘public schools’. Dick spergs out about how school is basically prison-lite, that’s where kids are most likely to be pedophiled, and just screaming.
Some mourning over breast reductions, cue women humble bragging about how big their tits are. ISIS made terrorism not fun anymore, time for some vaccine talk. It's just an obvious way to exercise power over the populace, it's just blatant now. V I R U S T A L K, it's all so tiresome. If I counted my taxes like how these niggas be counting COVID deaths, the IRS would shoot me on sight. If you want more fun talk like this, go to A&H and summon HHH.
Tulpa Brah calls in, his gf is doing good and her name is Rumi now. His IRL girl saga didn't go anywhere, *feels*. He didn't try any meds since last time, he's just been vibing with his Tulpa GF. I am not fucking with you, he deadass pulled a Chris-Chan and wished every birthday and Christmas for a girlfriend and eventually got a tulpa. Dick says, quote, "If I could be gay or have an imaginary girlfriend, I would do it in a second." The tulpa used to deny his orgams, until he told it to stop. No dommy tulpa gf, why live
He bounces, good to have an update on Tulpa Nigga.
A letter on Catholic Priests, some knowledge about rules regarding no sex, some history, thank you listener very cool. More letters, and Cantillions calls in.
Cant wants advice on how to date at 33. He’s in a relationship, but the girl says she wants to take it slow. The advice is that women speak with forked tongues, Cant says he got hammered one night and Dick immediately reversed directions and needs more info. Cant wants to know if he should go for 25 year olds or cougars. Dick says Cant’s too fat to be a jiggalo, and to old for cougars. Dick says neither he nor Cant are anyone’s first choice, see what happens. Some talk about sport, Chris is not talking to Cant anymore for whatever reason. More sports talk, weeeeeman.
Cant bounces, and Johnson Brown calls in to talk about how he’s gonna lengthen his cock. Reminder, he was the cult guy who lengthened his legs.
He’s planning to use some device, be scientific about this, and see what happens. It’s a pump-type deal, I don’t fucking know. Godspeed, we need these niggas to experiment on themselves for the greater good.
Voicemails, peace, see you next Tuesday.
