The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%

  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%

  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%

  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%

  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%

  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%

  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%

  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%

  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%

  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%

  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%

  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%
  • Total voters
    2,258
Prolego said:
She? Are you new around here?? It's no surprise that "she" is a balding, divorced, middle-aged troon, shacked up with another balding middle-aged troon. He's got a daughter too, poor kid. I hope she doesn't get bullied for it. "Yer Da's a furry and shits himself in public"

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The official picture from his website is not much better.
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Fitting, really.
 
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Jump said:
Bingo Part II
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I don't know pinterest so i don't know how to archive this.

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Was it ever determined whether or not they did buy this “house” or whether they bought the land next to it? Either way, this place is 5 miles East of the tranch, so how do they think this “expansion” is going to work exactly?
 
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Cerabella said:
Kevin without his tradmark agp smirk :story:
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I’ll say it again. It’s good to see that The ranch putting all that go fund me money to good use and having dinners outside. Penny takes the ranchers out for one dinner and then take says “girlfriend“ out to another meal with his high-end digital camera.
 
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Prolego said:
They're looking to create an official Tranch archive. I can't wait to see how half-assed it's going to be (has a website ever 41%ed). Now I wonder what the best source of raw materials would be.....

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Having a website made when they can't even keep their animals healthy. Priorities.

I wonder what possessed them to acquire 200 alpacas anyway? They could have started with ten or fifteen to find out if they'd be able to sell the wool in any volume (they can't) before getting so many. What was going through their heads (aside from anime porn)?

Anyway, here's my prediction for how the ranch saga will end. I was speculating about possible violent endings before, but violence isn't the most likely ending, less than 50% but probably higher than 10%. The most likely ending is them ditching the ranch in order from smartest to dumbest.

When many animals start dying and the tranchers realize that disposing of dead alpacas isn't enjoyable, there'll come a point where a couple of the trannies, let's call them Trixie and Ryuuko, jump in their car with their backpacks saying that they're going to town for supplies. Then they never come back. AmHole and Penny go on a Twitter freakout about how the chuds have captured Trixie and Ryuuko and they don't know if they're dead or alive and the obvious fascist collaborator town police say they don't know anything about it. At some point someone chimes in with "they ditched you, dumbass" and the remaining tranchers go nuts and start berating each other over suspected disloyalty.

At this point they know the dream is dead and each one makes an awkward escape, giving whatever flimsy excuse to drive off and never return. They blame the locals for committing hate crimes and say they had to leave the ranch for self-care and and can't answer any questions about animal abuse because it triggers them, which their Twitter followers eat up. Hopefully in their anger they blame each other as well for added drama. Kevin may refuse to leave the ranch because he can't be bothered to pack up all his toys and gaming equipment and he can't live without them. He'll be gaming and tweeting alone in a house surrounded by rotting alpaca carcasses, burning Nag Champa to try and block out the smell.

The county government will be left to handle the hundreds of starving and dying animals. Whatever they do will earn them accusations of transphobia and animal abuse from Twitter. The beautiful vibrant unicorn ranch would never have fallen to ruin if not for the fascist chuds of Custer County.
 
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Ghjkl63 said:
How much you wanna bet they're gonna ask their new web designer to work for free?
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Almost 100%. I don't even know why they would go this route anyways as Etsy gives them a storefront, payment processor, and most importantly search discovery built in. Going their own website means they have to manage their own storefront, integrate a payment processor (and still pay 5-10% anyways), and then pray their SEO is good enough to land them a first page spot on Google. The Tranch only gets people unaware of their antics (if they even make sales at all), so relying on their own brand is just going to decimate the few sales they even had.
 
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Aunt Carol said:
A hairline is not a decision, but a hairdo is.

I wish I understood why the haircut he's chosen to underscore his femininity is the same one he'd get if he said "Toby Jones, but long on one side."
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Because Kevin knows as much about being a woman as I do about speaking Chinese; not much.
 
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White Devil said:
Because Kevin knows as much about being a woman as I do about speaking Chinese; not much.
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Yeah, pretty much. Hair is a huge tell here--even a woman who was a very solid tomboy is going to do a better job of hair. It's kind of part of the whole 'being socialized as a girl' thing--it's knowledge you're expected to learn and...probably have to be putting in a lot of active, deliberate effort in to avoid learning.

I mean, Kev just keeps being proof the TERFs have a serious point that it makes a significant difference what sex you got raised as...
 
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Nothing To See Here said:
Jen's amhole working wonderfully, I see. Definitely not a narrow little pencil-tube or anything.
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lol, bruh just by a pack of number 2 pencils.

Nothing To See Here said:
He's estranged from his mother, which he describes as "financially disasterous", so not there. His dad is dead, so maybe partially an inheritance/trust fund thing, though I didn't get the impression is family were super wealthy. If I had to take a punt, I'd say disability (along with a bit of grift for the terrible troon porn he writes, which is £18 a month on Patreon, barely anything on ko.fi, and a cashapp link in his afterdark twitter bio). He's talked about multiple pretty nasty health issues as a kid and needing a cane, and also mentions being autistic (like, non-verbal for a chunk of his childhood, mom having doubts about his mental capacity as a kid levels of autistic). Honestly, given the weird facial proportions and neck webbing you can see in some photos, I wouldn't be surprised if he had some kind of genetic disorder going on, though I've looked at the common ones that are associated with autism and couldn't see anything.

Regardless, he's for sure getting some kind of government check for general fucked-up-ness - which apparently in Colorado averages $1,250 and can go over $2k, so he'd have the money for rent plus consoomer stuff without much issue (especially if rent at the ranch includes food etc., which it seems to). Neovages are covered by insurance in some places (pretty sure Kev got his done that way), and I'm sure between getting covered by parents' insurance and medicare and whatever else, he'd have had an opportunity for that.
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The fact that the American social welfare state is funding kevin and Jens lifestyle honestly triggers me beyond belief.
thanks for the deep dive, I’m gonna have a cry now.
 
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Trigger Me Timbers said:
The fact that the American social welfare state is funding kevin and Jens lifestyle honestly triggers me beyond belief.
thanks for the deep dive, I’m gonna have a cry now.
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don't think of it as funding their existence, think of it as reward for them voluntarily sterilizing themselves.
 
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