DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Anime Waifu NFT collector]

TLDR "buying time to think of something"

Because he can't keep the 'bad back' lie going if he thinks he's going to get a stable, salaried job. It's a fucking nightmare trying to get hired out of college if you don't have contacts or an insane resume out of the gate. Phil's literally got nothing. What, some job at a helicopter factory that was probably entry level, and then ultimately a mediocre fighting game career before he provably spiraled down with a gacha addiction and bankruptcy?

He has no applicable skills, he's in his 50s with back problems, he has no contacts...a literal ex-con right out of prison for murder charges is more desirable than this guy.

I posted about a month back how Phil said that he "used to" have back problems so he can't use that excuse anymore unless he wants to contradict himself and I don't think he'll do that().

Phil doesn't even need to get a job in 10 years,all he needs to do is to not be retarded anymore and in 5 years he could save enough money for retirement if he combines that with selling his house condo but he won't do that since literally all he does in his free time is watch tv/movies (which cost money) compulsively consume products and food (which also cost money) and play pay to win mobile games (which costs thousands a month).

To stop his retarded level of spending he would need to change who he is,Phil is too lazy and narcissistic to have normal hobbies since they require effort and admiting mistakes,so all he can do to have fun is consume and spend, combine that with no concept of future and he be will be working for minimum wage in his 70s. Just like other behaviours he could change at any moment since things like these have been said to him thousands of times ,but he ignores it ,which is very funny since you know deep down this terrifies him.

I think a lot of his problem can be explained by the fact that he doesn't understand the value of a dollar.

What are you talking about? He knows very well that with a dollar you can't even buy an onion.

 

[Iron Hamster]

If he was smart he would translate his 13 years of social media, Youtube, and Twitch experience and use that on his resume for a gaming company or something else.

Never gonna happen. All anyone has to do is watch one of his streams and see how he talks to people.

 

[But I Digress]

He also has the worst google search results imaginable. If you somehow brought Goebbels back from the dead at least he could get a gig writing for Stormfront. On the off chance he does actually need to apply somewhere at some point in his life some poor HR schmuck better hope they have five hours to spend on what is certain to be the defining rabbit hole of their career.

Wrong, Chris Chan still exists.

 

[Paladin Derich]

I'd like to see phil's parents move in to help him out. phil's mom would inevitably make a surprise appearance on his stream.

"Mom, what are you doing? I'm streaming right now"

"Philip, you need to clean the toilet after you're done using it"

 

[Antarctic Hellbeast]

you can tell Phil has never even attempted a pushup in his life

 

[JamFlowMan]

Are you telling me the guy who made his ex-fiance order her own engagement ring off of Etsy for <$50 didn't go all out for a romantic wedding anniversary?

 

[Pargon]

I'd like to see phil's parents move in to help him out. phil's mom would inevitably make a surprise appearance on his stream.

"Mom, what are you doing? I'm streaming right now"

"Philip, you need to clean the toilet after you're done using it"

Implying Phil's mom would not sooner suck the shit clogging the toilet with her own mouth than ask her pampered vaginal discharge to care for itself.

 

[Crooked 16th]

Man he looks wasted tonight

 

[hundredthousand]

If there's anything we have to give Dave credit for, it's his ability to playact keeping composure on stream. How can he feel secure with his alleged financial situation behind the scenes, being in an expensive condo, perpetually owing Uncle Sam bags of money, and being in supposed dire financial straits every week? He makes ok money from his 's, but his luxury short bus occupants are what keep him afloat. It must be some impotent power trip someone like OIC is on, knowing Dave needs him, and he holds this power to take all of his security away. Too bad he's too much of a faggot to actually do something with this power.

Of course, this is discounting that DSP may just be lying through his fucking teeth about his financial situation, which there's precedence for. All I know is, is I wouldn't want some dude on the internet being my only means of security. No wonder he defends him like a son would defend his father, DSP loses large amounts of revenue if OIC goes away.

That's why when Tut left, phil lost his shit and went off on everyone for "driving him away" because when he loses one of his core whales it could ruin him. Same thing will happen with LonelyCoffee too, just wait and watch.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Phil makes a new save file every time because when he played games like Fallout or Elder Scrolls he would make fail saves and get pissed off.

"Ok I better save. What! Eight doods with shotguns were behind the door?! Ok load the save.... What?! Eight doods with shotguns instantly spawn?! Better load the save... WHAT!? THE EIGHT DOODS WITH SHOTGUNS SHOW UP EVERY TIME!"

He has to constantly make new saves because he constantly fucks up.

 

[SauceRyuKen]

Oh, Phil's 10 year plan is in motion and it has been for a while. It's just that he very much intends to stay in streaming until he dies. He's recently gone on the record saying he doesn't think he'll live much longer. People who say that are stating that they see no need to change.

Long time hatewatchers have certainly noticed a few marked differences with pre-bankruptcy Phil. Quite a few on this board can confirm. He now completely avoids anything even remotely challenging. Even in his field of supposed expertise, super turbo. Back when it released on Switch, Phil was doing ranked. 30th anniversary? Handpicked lobbies and ducking all the trolls. Everything else has been the same.

For anyone who only recently came to the autism vortex: Believe it or not, Phil actually used to play games. Yes, his streams were indeed not roughly 55% stalling. He also always had a ridiculously long prestream ramble session, but he gradually built the post pre-stream half an hour break into his streams. That used to be half an hour of gameplay. One of the very few good things you could say about Phil was that he usually finished the games he started. In a timely fashion, even.

He's been gradually phasing out actual gameplay from his streams. Super long shoutouts, massive tipquisitions, and even the small things like stopping, for a solid two minutes and a half, to clean smudges on his Stallar Glasses. Sticking only to babby's first videogame, milking every title to the last drop in a way that doesn't even make sense: Phil now takes roughly as much time as a completionist run to do a handpicked run of main missions and side content he deems kosher. No romance, no minigames he doesn't like, no challenge runs... People were literally beating two Mario titles in the time it took Phil to beat one Mario title... And he used savestates.

No fighting game content. Let's face it, the 30th anniversary collection hardly counts. Phil literally scours lobbies for Alpha 3 players and tries to force them into super turbo. He doesn't even look for long sets with the other super turbo guys, he literally makes a point of walking into your Alpha/3S lobby, rolling for Super Turbo, and if you don't like it, tough shit, because he's gonna go full tryhard on your admittedly scrubby ass. Unsurprisingly, when Phil actually happened to hit a Super Turbo lobby, he usually got his ass kicked by dudes like Maverick in short order. He's ragequit every other fighter in recent memory, in spite of them still getting content. His calladoodie streams are garbage where he will literally derank himself by ragequitting three games in a row to face the AI. Or just ragequit if the match isn't going so well to protect his ego. Phil's literally discarded everything that made him popular in the first place and traded it all in to become an all sideshow, no main event streamer. Literally all he does now is get that shitty old fashioned undercut, dress like prime Chris Chan, and beg for money.

With absolutely no restraint, as well. Phil used to cook up several transparently bullshit excuses for begging that he would cycle in and out of his rotation. Now all of his trap cards are always on the field, and active all the time. We used to get higher effort tales of begging, too. When he was flying Kat in from Michigan and wooing her with money, he told his paypigs he was going to lose his house. The tax guy was a shadowy figure who only made his guest appearance twice a year. When he wanted to take a vacation in Conneticut, he said he needed money for undisclosed taxes. Now it's just permataxes, daily bills, and the priciest groceries you can imagine. Phil also used to have more, smaller paypigs. Now his streams are carried on the broken backs of the four whalechairs of the goutpocalypse, riding on chrome plated wheels of destruction and brandishing their disability checks of woe between their teeth, their hands prepared to engage in epic ownage of the dang dirty trolls.

Phil has said that he wants to look into streaming alternatives for when he can no longer play due to his age. I think he's testing the waters to be a hot take kind of guy, but he definitely couldn't hack it in that market. Ltg is diversifying his content into manosphere adjacent videos. Wings has a big boy job and plans to leave streaming behind altogether. Phil is just gonna keep begging for money on the internet until he drops dead. The only change he will implement is overtly cutting all gameplay from his streams, rather than just slyly avoiding as much as possible.

That, I feel, will be his dying whimper as an internet personality. The day he overtly announces that he will no longer publicly suck at videogames is the day he loses us, and the day the tractorsphere is completely gone, Phil simply becomes a beggar devoid of his main begging gimmick. I seriously doubt anyone's gonna walk into the stream of a bald, pudgy man in his 50s lazily reading news from his phone and hintily reminding his 5 viewers that he could really use the tips right now.

 

[Dread Pirate Retard]

Phil doesn't even need to get a job in 10 years,all he needs to do is to not be retarded anymore and in 5 years he could save enough money for retirement if he combines that with selling his house condo but he won't do that since literally all he does in his free time is watch tv/movies (which cost money) compulsively consume products and food (which also cost money) and play pay to win mobile games (which costs thousands a month).

lol no. DSP is hundreds of thousands of dollars behind. Even if he began aggressively dumping money into retirement accounts today he's already lost out on a ton of money by starting so late because of annual contribution limits to tax advantaged accounts and the magic of compounding interest. In theory he COULD save enough to retire by 65 (assuming his income doesn't decline significantly) but it would require him to save aggressively for the next quarter of a century, not 5 years and his resulting retirement income would be <1/2 of what he's used to now.

 

[BepsiLight]

Someone asked him what's the most he's ever spent on a game and holy shit he matrix dodged that like fucking Neo.
He asspulled an answer without mentioning mobile games even ONCE. Of course it was SF2 because all the quarters mamma Burnell gave him to get him to leave the house have to count. Also maxing out his credit cards to attend EVO.

 

[Surly Muppet]

We just got a massive rant about gacha.
The gist is that it is okay to drop 'a couple hundred' on a game like Genshin if it is 'the only game you play', because it has given you hundreds of hours of enjoyment.
It's comparable to people who play one $60 game, and then beat it and buy another $60 game. Phil says that people can spend money on whatever game that they like, and nobody should be made fun of for investing in a game they like. Just make sure you don't get addicted to the formula they want you to - don't get addicted to pulls.

Translation: It's fine to spend on gacha if it is 'the only game you play'. Like Phil only plays a crappy mobile game outside of his business, but shouldn't be judged on that.

On the topic of pulls, Phil says that you shouldn't get blinded and pull for new characters constantly just because they are new, even if the characters are 'not useful'. You don't need every single new thing, that's how they get you. You need to spend within your means. Don't ruin your life over it.

Translation: Phil didn't get the new Hogan card this weekend and he didn't need it because it 'wasn't useful', and so this also shows he isn't an out of control addict because he 'controlled himself' and didn't take the bait.

But he is now back to explaining that you shouldn't spend on games like this because Rockstar kept developing GTA Online as a consequence instead of making GTA 6. So I guess you can spend on... what, mobile gacha so it doesn't interfere with console games? How convenient. He is also insisting he has spent the most on Street Fighter than any other game because of all the money in arcades.

The amount of addiction cope in this section is wild. This is probably the closest he will come to admitting the addiction on stream - it's painfully apparent that he is talking about his own experiences. After shitting on microtransactions constantly, in all circumstances, Phil has now said that this is fine and has rationalized it.

EDIT:: "I spent a lot more on WWE Supercard than I ever spent on WWE Champions."
Oh Phil. You took the bait buddy.

EDIT 2: Derich played SuperCard. Phil is explaining the mechanics, saying that he was hooked on it, and how much time and money it took to 'play competitively'.
Phil wanted to get into something fun and different than what he covered on stream. He thought maybe he could get into mobile games as a hobby.
He considered playing them on stream. But after playing for 6-8 months, he felt it was too much of a chore, and a time and money investment to get enjoyment out of it.

 

[UaineRunei]

Uh oh! Looks like Mrs. Wagginz is in da house!

Also, it doesn't matter how much money Phil spent on mobile games like WWE Supercard because it was a long time ago...
... in 2018.

 

[Surly Muppet]

"Let me do the daily thing here and get more water."
Why is he acknowledging the water break as 'daily'? Just refill it between streams if it is a constant issue.
Also this 'daily' issue mysteriously didn't come up last night, when there was a $100 tip prearranged. How odd.

 

[snort inquisition]

"Let me do the daily thing here and get more water."
Why is he acknowledging the water break as 'daily'? Just refill it between streams if it is a constant issue.
Also this 'daily' issue mysteriously didn't come up last night, when there was a $100 tip prearranged. How odd.

he could get a little usb cooler for water if it's such a bigass deal

 

[UaineRunei]

he could get a little usb cooler for water if it's such a bigass deal

Or a bigger fucking bottle.

 

[Antarctic Hellbeast]

"Let me do the daily thing here and get more water."
Why is he acknowledging the water break as 'daily'? Just refill it between streams if it is a constant issue.
Also this 'daily' issue mysteriously didn't come up last night, when there was a $100 tip prearranged. How odd.

The gout is like the humps of a camel. It stores water so the Philbert can survive without water for long stretches of 15 minutes at a time.

 

[Anime Waifu NFT collector]

lol no. DSP is hundreds of thousands of dollars behind. Even if he began aggressively dumping money into retirement accounts he's already lost out on a ton of money by starting so late because of annual contribution limits to tax advantaged accounts and the magic of compounding interest. In theory he COULD save enough to retire by 65 (assuming his income doesn't decline significantly) but it would require him to scrimp and save for the next quarter of a century, not 5 years and his resulting retirement income would be <1/2 of what he's used to now.

I think he could,he makes 10k a month or more and has no children,if I was in his position I could save 6k a month easily(if not more) taking into account the mortage for the condo since besides that and HOA fees his expenses could be reduced to a minimum if he stopped being himself,in 5 years that's 360k not taking compound interst into account if he buy stocks or ETFs(he doesn't need to put it on a retirement fund),combine that with selling his house for around 400k since it appreciated in value and he is set for a low class lifestyle for the rest of his life. We would need to see how his CT condo thing ends up since if he gets sued for what he owes that would make it harder for my argument.

After that all he has to do is move somewhere cheap, as he should have done from the start,but it would require a doing a 180,I'm not saying he is going to do it,I'm saying he can (and that's not taking into consideration that he can do what coach red pill did: move to a poor country like poland and live comfortably).