The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[In the Sick of It]

I was watching a bunch of videos about nuclear accidents (Castle Bravo, SL-1, NRX, the Demon Core, Hisashi Ouchi etc.) this past weekend. Obviously the trancher's impact on the environment isn't even on the same scale as radioactive contamination, but it's pretty wild that I'm now getting to see an ecological disaster unfold in real time. Maybe one day somebody will make a short documentary about Tenacious Unicorn Ranch and its impact on the environment.

The Kyle Hill ones? I'd love for that guy to do an easy-to-understand but still very detailed dive into the future Tranch wasteland.

 

[Comandante Marcos]

Kiwi Farms has already been used in scholarly research, with that "FuckYou" guy whose actual name I can't remember atm who shot up a high school somewhere in bumfuck NM because he dropped out in the 7th grade and had no future as a result. Eventually some ecological scientist is gonna discover this and do a paper on "man"made ecological devastation using the Tranch and the surrounding area as reference. As noted repeatedly, the Tranch has neighbors who are now completely fucked with worthless land because the troon cancer is gonna spread soon enough with shitloads of dust storms and such. The whole area is gonna be a fucking dust bowl in our great-grandchildren's day-when they're middle age.

 

[Meriasek]

It's a shame about the land, really. Personally, I wouldn't have any interest in ranching or farming, but I could see myself learning some welding and blacksmithing and living in such a place, off-grid, in a basic fashion doing welding and blacksmithing for the other ranchers and using the quiet time to do the whole "write that novel" thing or whatever.
But those 36 acres are wasted, the soil is barren and/or poisoned by alpaca shit, and the houses are contaminated by stinkditch rot.

 

[TerminalTryHard]

Do the neighbors have any form of legal recourse? Or are they just fucked?

 

[Coccxys]

I wonder how all the run off from the shit pile and the oils/fuel from those generators are impacting on the local ground water. How long before some unfortunate neighbour finds their water supply to be contaminated.

Do the neighbors have any form of legal recourse? Or are they just fucked?

Probably just fucked.

 

[Celestine]

Forgive me for asking, but what happens with the giant shit pile? Does it just keep expanding, taking over the whole lot? Does someone come by to throw it away someplace else? I'm a city kitty, the most rural I've gone was overnight tent camping.

 

[Norman B. Normal]

View attachment 2088294
The decay is striking. It looks almost like a plain dirt road (see roads to the south for comparison)


I'm saving that tool for other non-tranch related enquiries. Thanks!

There's a small, stupid part of my mind that always wants to give the Tranch the benefit of the doubt, for some reason. All we know about the ranch comes from a few dozen tweets a day and occasionally a picture or two, and even with that you have to subtract most of Kevin's tweets because he's only barely aware he lives on a ranch at all. So I always leave room for the possibility that there are things going on that we don't know about that would make this whole endeavor not be as stupid and insane as it appears to be from the outside. I know a lot of people who know more than I do complain about the way they're treating the animals, but it's not impossible that there are a number of possible interpretations of the things the trancheros have said and shown and they're choosing the worst ones. Even when we all started noticing the denuded land I wondered whether that was just something that was happening in the area due to weather and climactic conditions, and maybe the grasses are receding on the surrounding properties as well.

But boy, this picture really leaves no illusions. In less than a year they have mismanaged their property so badly that the damage is visible FROM SPACE. (Actually that's probably an aerial photograph, but whatever.) It is hard for me to wrap my head around the degree to which they have managed to fuck up literally everything. And they don't even seem to have noticed! They've watched a grassy prairie decay into a blasted hellscape over a period of mere months and they don't seem to think anything's wrong! They don't wonder why every ewe rejects its lamb! They're so wrapped up in playing Rambo that they've forgotten why they're there in the first place, and they think everything's going just fine! They're actually proud of what they've presided over! Have any of them even asked for ranching advice from people who actually know what they're doing? Ever? Surely there are lots of people who would be willing to help them out for free if they would just ask. But they don't ask, because they're not even aware that anything is going wrong in the first place. Incredible.

 

[No Exit]

Forgive me for asking, but what happens with the giant shit pile? Does it just keep expanding, taking over the whole lot? Does someone come by to throw it away someplace else? I'm a city kitty, the most rural I've gone was overnight tent camping.

Think about the dumbest thing you could do with it. Whatever they're doing with it is worse than that.

 

[Questionable Ceviche]

I wonder how all the run off from the shit pile and the oils/fuel from those generators are impacting on the local ground water. How long before some unfortunate neighbour finds their water supply to be contaminated.


Probably just fucked.

Good question.

In nature, herds of grazing animals would leave urine and feces behind. The action of their hooves aerated and softened the soil, loosening it so nutrients could penetrate down and plants could easily push more roots out. It was all part of the recovery and regeneration process for the landscape.

They wouldn't all shit in the same spot, though, in a big fucking gross pile right outside the windows to the house. Fresh manure can be pretty nasty stuff for plants. It contains a lot of ammonia and nitrogen salts in concentrations high enough that it can cause burns. It's the same way that plants get burned by applying too much commercial fertilizer. Manure is usually watered down or composed before use. This normalizes the nutrient levels, kills weed seeds, and also kills harmful bacteria that can spread disease. Composed manure is black and dry with no 'poop' smell to it.

Animal waste disposal is a pretty big deal for feedlots, which is really the closest comparison I can think of in terms of animal density on this lot. The runoff can make people and animals sick, kill plants, and contaminate groundwater. They've already killed all the plants, they can tick that box off already. I don't know if there's any regulations in their area about animal waste disposal. Improper treatment and disposal is a public health risk. Those 100+ alpaca and sheep are going to produce a lot of manure per day, not to mention the chickens, dogs, and cats also on the property.

Imagine the smell. And the flies.

 

[Gone Ham]

I was watching a bunch of videos about nuclear accidents (Castle Bravo, SL-1, NRX, the Demon Core, Hisashi Ouchi etc.) this past weekend. Obviously the trancher's impact on the environment isn't even on the same scale as radioactive contamination, but it's pretty wild that I'm now getting to see an ecological disaster unfold in real time. Maybe one day somebody will make a short documentary about Tenacious Unicorn Ranch and its impact on the environment.

God I hope someone not autistic makes a chrischan documentary like series on it.

 

[Lovecraft's Cat]

Here's a low quality tranch shitpost inspired by the chaos god jokes from earlier.

 

[Semiprofessional Sperg]

Wait, doesn't manure explode sometimes if lit on fire? I could of sworn I heard something about that somewhere.

 

[Divine right to rule]

View attachment 2089897
Here's a low quality tranch shitpost inspired by the chaos god jokes from earlier.

We all know the true garden of Grandfather Nurgle is the Amhole itself.
It will one day let loose the ultimate sickness that will wipe out all life.

 

[Vapewizard]

Forgive me for asking, but what happens with the giant shit pile? Does it just keep expanding, taking over the whole lot? Does someone come by to throw it away someplace else? I'm a city kitty, the most rural I've gone was overnight tent camping.

I dunno what the tranch does with it but at a local farm I'm acquainted with where people keep horses everyone gathers the horse manure in a designated concrete containment area. After enough time passes and a large enough pile has accumulated the farm owner loads it up in a machine that can spread it out over a pasture evenly and then it's sealed off to recover and the horses are relocated to another pasture. I guess that illustrates a problem that others have pointed out now too, that there clearly isn't enough pasture and there's too many alpacas for the tranch to do something like this.

 

[Gone Ham]

Kevs amhole is the true patient zero of Covid

 

[Old Fart]

Wait, doesn't manure explode sometimes if lit on fire? I could of sworn I heard something about that somewhere.

If stored in an unventilated room where methane can develop, yes. Actually they could try to gain methane from the dung.

 

[Aunt Carol]

They wouldn't all shit in the same spot, though, in a big fucking gross pile right outside the windows to the house. Fresh manure can be pretty nasty stuff for plants. It contains a lot of ammonia and nitrogen salts in concentrations high enough that it can cause burns. It's the same way that plants get burned by applying too much commercial fertilizer. Manure is usually watered down or composed before use. This normalizes the nutrient levels, kills weed seeds, and also kills harmful bacteria that can spread disease. Composed manure is black and dry with no 'poop' smell to it.

Not a manure nor alpaca expert, but someone earlier was saying that alpaca manure doesn't have to be composted before it's used as fertilizer. Lazy websearch bears this out:

Since alpaca manure is mostly found in pellet form and doesn’t have the same components as other livestock feeders, like cows and horses, it does not need to be aged or composted before use. You can spread it directly onto garden plants without burning them.

Read more at Gardening Know How: Using Composted Alpaca Manure In The Garden https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/composting/manures/alpaca-manure-fertilizer.htm

Alpaca "Beans"

• Alpacas produce an average of 1 pound of Green Beans per day. Doing the math, that's about 365 pounds per year per alpaca. A herd of 25 alpacas produces about 4.5 tons of Green Beans per year.
• Some breeders work out agreements with local landscapers and nurseries to purchase Green Beans in bulk or even barter for other items which can be used on their farms/ranches or resold for cash

 

[Marvin]

There's a small, stupid part of my mind that always wants to give the Tranch the benefit of the doubt, for some reason. All we know about the ranch comes from a few dozen tweets a day and occasionally a picture or two, and even with that you have to subtract most of Kevin's tweets because he's only barely aware he lives on a ranch at all. So I always leave room for the possibility that there are things going on that we don't know about that would make this whole endeavor not be as stupid and insane as it appears to be from the outside. I know a lot of people who know more than I do complain about the way they're treating the animals, but it's not impossible that there are a number of possible interpretations of the things the trancheros have said and shown and they're choosing the worst ones. Even when we all started noticing the denuded land I wondered whether that was just something that was happening in the area due to weather and climactic conditions, and maybe the grasses are receding on the surrounding properties as well.

I think this is a good approach to take.

The thing is, what makes KF distinctive (and also so reviled) compared to a dozen or so other similar drama/gossip sites is that we're realistic and truthful. We keep receipts. (Speaking of which: screenshots are nice but web archives are even better)

Back when ED and /cow/ were king, it was easy for lolcows to dismiss accusations because the accusations were mixed in with a whole mess of tongue-in-cheek bullshit ("lol and they totally suck dicks!!")

KF is interested in genuine nutjobs actually being morons and fucking up their lives. There's no need for us to fabricate accusations or for us to put a finger on the scale by prodding them to fuck up. They'll do it themselves without our involvement.

And if they occasionally get something right, it's almost certainly a stroke of luck on their part. No need to feel bad about acknowledging it when they do it right for once, because sooner or later, they'll get back to fucking up.

We should appreciate skepticism. No one can accuse us of being anything but fair.

This is why KF gets attacked by big tech and the financial industry. We're way more of a threat to the mainstream perspective than an ED page plastered with shitty photoshops and "lol nigger nigger nigger nigger".

And if a lolcow learns their lesson and start to do things right, well then maybe they're not a lolcow anymore. It's rare, but it happens (like how Pad Gardner got psychiatric help and donated his pad collection to charity). Good for them, we can move on. It's not like there's a shortage of people doing dumb shit online.

But something tells me the tranchers aren't going to be learning any lessons anytime soon.

 

[Old Fart]

Not a manure nor alpaca expert, but someone earlier was saying that alpaca manure doesn't have to be composted before it's used as fertilizer. Lazy websearch bears this out:

Alpaca "Beans"
Alpacas produce an average of 1 pound of Green Beans per day. Doing the math, that's about 365 pounds per year per alpaca. A herd of 25 alpacas produces about 4.5 tons of Green Beans per year.

They have 200 of these critters that thus produce 36 ton of shit on that plot of land each year. And probably no plan to take it elsewhere. No wonder all plant life is gone.

 

[AnOminous]

Wait, doesn't manure explode sometimes if lit on fire? I could of sworn I heard something about that somewhere.

It generates methane gas. And they have all kinds of fucked up electricity around. If it actually caught on fire it would be nearly impossible to stop with the nonexistent water they have. They'd probably just leave it smoldering like retards.

I think they might think they're composting but whatever the fuck that is isn't composting, it's just a giant pile of shit in the open air.

Not a manure nor alpaca expert, but someone earlier was saying that alpaca manure doesn't have to be composted before it's used as fertilizer. Lazy websearch bears this out:

Do they even know that? Could they be planning on selling it? Or have they just randomly gathered all the shit from all the animals into one big pile? Considering the last is about the dumbest thing they could do, I'm guessing that.