DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Dread Pirate Retard]

DSP isn't even good at this game. He is just abusing skill based matchmaking; going as far as to quit out of the game multiple times when he runs into players at or above his skill level.

I'm pretty sure quitting out like that doesn't do anything to your skill rating as that would be highly abusable since there's no penalty or matchmaking cooldown. I've heard talk about people intentionally deranking accounts to play with wheelchairs and it involves endlessly feeding kill after kill for hours on end, sometimes using a bot program (you would think someone would just write a script to queue, instaquit, queue, ... if that would work).

Phil's ritual of quitting 3 times in a row to 'exit' SBMM (literally not even possible) is just a placebo that makes him feel better. Once he finds a lobby where he is doing relatively decently (by pure chance) he will announce that he can feel that the connections are better. It's in the same league as reading tea leaves, palm reading, and channeling the dead. Of course, after a few games of good performance (K/D wise) the lag magically returns when you might expect matchmaking to place him with slightly better players.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

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The real issue is he wants people to kiss his ass and jerk him off because he's finally decent in one game after 12 years of sucking in every other game. The problem with that is he is incredibly boring when he's enjoying himself and his gloating is insufferable even to the people who give him money.

If only his chat would grow a few neurons and actually call him out en masse for his self-fellating and insufferably boring playthroughs. Too bad Phil has his cult thing down pat.

 

[JimiHendrix]

Is he.. unironically calling it.. "dough-gay coin"... over & over..??

mate he didn't know how to pronounce "smithing" until he was like 32 years old.

 

[Need Help With Tips]

Once Khet and Dave get the vaccine I wonder what he'd say if someone suggested she bring home groceries again

 

[Fragarach]

mate he didn't know how to pronounce "smithing" until he was like 32 years old.

Haha, I forgot about that one..."Smything". Like, how much of a total idiot do you have to be to not know how to pronounce "Smithing"...and this dude's been playing games for decades, and in every other RPG there's probably some variation of smithing or characters would at least say the word and even ignoring all that, it's just common sense. BLACKSMITH. SMITHING. Why would the pronounciation randomly change?

 

[JimiHendrix]

Haha, I forgot about that one..."Smything". Like, how much of a total idiot do you have to be to not know how to pronounce "Smithing"...and this dude's been playing games for decades, and in every other RPG there's probably some variation of smithing or characters would at least say the word and even ignoring all that, it's just common sense. BLACKSMITH. SMITHING. Why would the pronounciation randomly change?

i don't know if you've noticed, but he's a retard.

 

[Dread Pirate Retard]

Once Khet and Dave get the vaccine I wonder what he'd say if someone suggested she bring home groceries again

Whenever Phil just doesn't want to do something he rattles off like 40 excuses so that if you shoot one of them down he has 39 other he can fall back on.

SHE'S TIRED YOU FUCKING IDIOT. SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HAVE TO GO GROCERY SHOPPING FOR 4 HOURS AFTER HER SHIFT. GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE STUPID.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOinkOinkOink]

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The real issue is he wants people to kiss his ass and jerk him off because he's finally decent in one game after 12 years of sucking in every other game. The problem with that is he is incredibly boring when he's enjoying himself and his gloating is insufferable even to the people who give him money.

Who the fuck is he even talking about here? He’s not getting tips apparently, so by his own logic the real fans aren’t exactly about the call of duty gameplay anymore either..,,

You can’t whine that people are saying they are bored of call of duty and also get pissed because negative assholes are saying it...it’s one or the other because when you do both it makes it sound like none of your viewers want to see it anymore....

 

[Iron Father]

Phil just straight up had a begging fit over how he says "people love call of duty but they don't contribute, please if you could contribute!" Wish someone would just punch him in his gout-ridden snout.

Seriously this piece of shit is berating his audience for not tipping him when he is having fun. That's not how streaming works you idiot, but please continue to act like anyone else besides your 7 whales actually like you.

His retarded ass thinks streaming is like school when he got participation trophies for trying (and failing). "I'm playing da game dood! I used da sniper rifle dood! I deserve kahntributions for having fun playing da game!"

 

[Forbidden Math]

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The real issue is he wants people to kiss his ass and jerk him off because he's finally decent in one game after 12 years of sucking in every other game. The problem with that is he is incredibly boring when he's enjoying himself and his gloating is insufferable even to the people who give him money.

This is a fun rant. First up: Sounds like people don't like to see you doing well at games Phil, sounds like they like seeing you rage. Gee if only we had other evidence of people watching to see you rage. NO ONE WATCHES YOU FOR SKILLED GAMPLAY.

Second: You're actually not good at the game you just ragequit any decently leveled lobbies until you're put in with the literal children who don't know how to actually operate a controller.

 

[Surly Muppet]

There was a weird line in his spiel about getting a vaccine earlier today (I was just listening to an1337's video).
Phil says, "Patience is key. And what I have to keep in mind is that we're not at high, high risk. You know my wife is - has a moderate degree of risk having interactions with (human) people every day at a store..." Phil also vaguely mentions Kat having had possible exposure at one point.

First of all, I'm pretty sure he started to say 'human' in there before he said people. More alien speak.

But it's that 'what I have to keep in mind' part. That sounds distinctly like Phil reminding himself of something someone told him - meaning either Kat or his parents told him this. I think there may have been a contact case wherever Kat is working right now and Phil got severely spooked and went batshit crazy. This would account for his sudden swing from before, when he was saying he was a low priority for the vaccine, to his sudden panic and desire for a vaccine as fast as possible. Someone had to talk him off a ledge, and they had to remind him that even Kat is only at moderate risk so he is still a lower priority than many, and to just stay calm and wait and his time would come. Phil repeats this to himself after he starts getting really wound up during the prestream.

TL;DR: Phil probably lost his shit over COVID and Mommy Burnell had to talk him out of a tizzy. I'm sure she wished she could give him a pill and leave him there.

I know others touched on this, but he's riding the penne wagers into the ground. I don't even know how that could be something that he gets this rigid about. He found something that people liked, and in typical Phil fashion, locked it into an autistic pattern. Just like we needed more vests, and then needed to police the vests that people could vote for, now there is only two variations of penne wagers that Phil has deemed optimal for CoD. He sucks the fun out of everything with his out of control obsession with routine and control.

 

[SauceRyuKen]

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The real issue is he wants people to kiss his ass and jerk him off because he's finally decent in one game after 12 years of sucking in every other game. The problem with that is he is incredibly boring when he's enjoying himself and his gloating is insufferable even to the people who give him money.

Headshots he says. When? The only headshots he gets are complete accidents. The problem isn't that Phil no longer sucks, he very much does. He costs his team games all the time, ragequits if he doesn't do well and is generally at an unwarranted level of sweaty tryhard for the skill bracket he's in.

The main problem is the same one he faces in street fighter: insane sandbagging. Phil's intentionally staying at low ranks so he can constantly beat lesser players. If you're that much of an asshole, Phil, good on you, but you don't get to brag about how tremendous you are at vidya for sometimes beating the very worst players of the school skipping brigade.

I honestly think Phil has completely dulled his edge since the ps5 release. He just doesn't have it in him to face anything that's challenging or tense any more. Too bad for him, streaming is literally built on those two pillars. It's just give me two hundos a day for playing baby games in the easiest difficulty I can get away with, or I'm gonna play this hard game/do this hard thing and tap out because I can't. Even if you were a legit fan, getting invested would be close to impossible.

 

[LostMy1stAccount]

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The real issue is he wants people to kiss his ass and jerk him off because he's finally decent in one game after 12 years of sucking in every other game. The problem with that is he is incredibly boring when he's enjoying himself and his gloating is insufferable even to the people who give him money.

"I'm having fun", says the fuckface that whined and cried like a bitch the first half of the stream.

And yeah, people want to see you rage because that is the only way your 12 year beggacy streams provide any kind of entertainment at all.
If you are good/decent at a game, you are either a smug, obnoxious asshole about it or are sitting in silence and provide sleep inducing "observational commentary"

 

[Ol' Slag]

Phil has recently bitched about how difficult it is to find a vaccine opening. I literally spent five minutes online and found the following website. WA kiwis feel free to use as well.

https://covidvaccine.kingcounty.gov/

The sites look to be less than ten miles away since Phil bitched about this during a stream and we all know how easily the old man gets scared in new surroundings so it should be fairly close to home.

The site is incredibly easy to use and I already entered Phil's zip code and he and his wife are infact currently eligible.

The first link for the moderna one looks as if new appointments will drop Monday/Tuesday as from Wednesday on is greyed out.

The second link for the Pzifer one will probably drop in the Tuesday/Wednesday time frame as Thursday on is greyed out.

If you check this consistently you should be able to have an appointment scheduled by the end of the week.

This is not difficult. This literally takes ten minutes on the internet. You do not have to panic call various places at all hours of the night. You don't have to bitch about your elected officials fucking this up. This is shit a ten year old could do.

 

[The Last Stand]

Phil's immune system has to be low tier. All he does is stay in the house all day. Remember, he had gout (thanks aunt). If Phil would catch COVID, he would milk it for all he can.

 

[Ol' Slag]

Phil milking this vaccine "emergency" and making it sound like a dire situation is one of the most pathetic things he has done in some time.

 

[Madmartigan]

I caught a few minutes of Phil's vaccine appointment rant today, and at the beginning he says:
"As of today, April 15th, myself and my wife are fully eligible for getting the covid vaccine...."
Did anyone in his chat happen to question how his wife wouldn't have already been eligible since she's a "frontline worker"?
And did anyone ask why he's trying to make an appointment for her (as opposed to her doing it herself)?
Two questions I'm sure he'd be annoyed by and get extremely defensive about.

 

[Alxmir23]

I caught a few minutes of Phil's vaccine appointment rant today, and at the beginning he says:
"As of today, April 15th, myself and my wife are fully eligible for getting the covid vaccine...."
Did anyone in his chat happen to question how his wife wouldn't have already been eligible since she's a "frontline worker"?
And did anyone ask why he's trying to make an appointment for her (as opposed to her doing it herself)?
Two questions I'm sure he'd be annoyed by and get extremely defensive about.

shes busy dood, its hard working 3 days a week for 10 hours. where does she have the time to do so, its just 4 days off. thats not enough

 

[Stephen Hawking]

I caught a few minutes of Phil's vaccine appointment rant today, and at the beginning he says:
"As of today, April 15th, myself and my wife are fully eligible for getting the covid vaccine...."
Did anyone in his chat happen to question how his wife wouldn't have already been eligible since she's a "frontline worker"?
And did anyone ask why he's trying to make an appointment for her (as opposed to her doing it herself)?
Two questions I'm sure he'd be annoyed by and get extremely defensive about.

Chat asked a good handful and DSP ignored it.

The whole thing is suspicious.
Phil kinda responded when people asked why he isnt applying for Kat first since she's at risk and DSP had to backtrack and act like he was applying for her first THE WHOLE TIME.

But if DSP cared that much to look for appointments for his at risk wife....
Why apply on the busiest day and not months ago when she was able to (and why hasn't she applied)?

There's something behind the scenes with her job obviously if Kat is NOW ELIGIBLE despite working at a grocery store.

 

[DiabeticSP]

He could put himself on a wait list for missed/extra shots and get one quick too, people always no show.

He's terrified of needing to take an unscheduled day off but if he missed a stream for a covid shot (it takes like 20 minutes but you know he'd need all day) his whales would reward him.