Lolcow Melinda Leigh Scott & Marshall Castersen - Sue-happy couple. Flat earth conspiracists. Pretending to be Jewish. Believe Kiwi Farms is protected by the Masonic Order. 0-6 on lawsuits. Marshall is dead.

[Cup Noodle]

Dude, I'm LARPING. I hope you are as well. I don't want her beaten up.

Don't kink shame. Don't worry though. I believe in consent. I'll only beat the shit out of her if she wants it. She probably wants it.

 

[Begemot]

Too late. She already married Marshall.

She's like a postergirl for the MRA argument that women like gibbering brutes.

Don't kink shame. Don't worry though. I believe in consent. I'll only beat the shit out of her if she wants it. She probably wants it.

Just act like a sub-literate 'melon-smasher' like Marshall, maybe lobotomise yourself until you start believing in flat earth cosmologies.

 

[Cup Noodle]

Just act like a sub-literate 'melon-smasher' like Marshall, maybe lobotomise yourself until you start believing in flat earth cosmologies.

Can't do that. I've lost some hot bodied women because they couldn't comprehend my vocabulary and thought that I was making fun of them or something. If my choice is to become dumb and fuck Melinda or stay me, I'm staying me. I don't give the first shit about Melinda, but I have a goal to fuck a boyfriend free lolcow and Melinda is a perfect target. Her ideal of manliness aligns pretty well with me. Marshall couldn't hold a candle to me. I'm sadistic and smart.

 

[Baby Yoda]

Can't do that. I've lost some hot bodied women because they couldn't comprehend my vocabulary and thought that I was making fun of them or something. If my choice is to become dumb and fuck Melinda or stay me, I'm staying me. I don't give the first shit about Melinda, but I have a goal to fuck a boyfriend free lolcow and Melinda is a perfect target. Her ideal of manliness aligns pretty well with me. Marshall couldn't hold a candle to me. I'm sadistic and smart.

Isn't Melinda back with Marshall?

 

[Kosher Salt]

Isn't Melinda back with Marshall?

It was either that or live in her car, right?

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

Dude, I'm LARPING. I hope you are as well. I don't want her beaten up.

Cup's OK. I mean, I hope he's ooc when we sperg about music and tarot, not when he talks about choke-fucking

Marshall couldn't hold a candle to me. I'm sadistic and smart.

Why, based on what you see here, you assume she likes her guys smart?

 

[Begemot]

It was either that or live in her car, right?

No. He is a true Israelite, apparently.

I take no joy in a woman settling for this oaf but these are the bad choices she has made.

 

[Baby Yoda]

@TamarYaelBatYah I know you don't come on here that much anymore, and neither do I, but I wanted to hopefully imprint one final word of advice for you. Even if its the only takeaway you have from me over the past year....

Legend has it that a man named the "Hillside Ass Snatcher" roams the hills of Appalachia snatching peoples' butts. Sometimes when one is falling asleep late at night they can hear off in the distance, "whooooo wanna seeee myyy buuuttttt?" Now, I know you ignored my advice last time, but take it from my own experience. If you hear that voice count to three and very silently say "They do." Apparently the ass snatcher thrives on fear. What he wants more than anything is to instill fear into the residents of Appalachia. He has many victims. These people are condemned to live a sad, long life with no ass. Like literally once he steals their butts there is nothing left down there. Just skin and bone. No cheek.
The ass snatcher is a specter, the Torah won't save anyone from him.
Anyways, could be a myth I dont know, but whenever I hear the voice I silently say "They do> They wanna see your butt" and nothing has ever happened to me.

 

[Postal_Rat]

Any one have any idea where the lolsuit is right now? I feel like we should have had an update by now

 

[DarkAlien]

This may be the likely outcome, but there is another option. She could submit to me and allow me to beat some sense into her. She will never take me up of my offer, but I could provide for her and take care of her every need. My love is violent though.


Sounds like the perfect novel to me.


She better write a novel about how the ultimate chad @Cup Noodle came and choke fucked her into reality and beat her until she became a better person. If she doesn't I'll just have to beat her some more.

The last thing we need is some melinda smut fanfic of yours, gross.

 

[Baby Yoda]

The last thing we need is some melinda smut fanfic of yours, gross.

No, the smut fanfic would be funny as long as it doesnt tread into illegal territory.

 

[Toasty]

I'll just have to seize the means of reproduction from him. I'm the Nazi in Pamela's delusion's, but I guess I can become the Commie in Melinda's.


Choke-fucking is an essential part of my life. Have some music from the Appalachian hills. Ralph Stanley is my favorite bluegrass artist.

Edit to include my favorite Gospel song

and that song you probably know from that movie

While your taste in music is lovely, and I commend it, I hold out little hope for your autistic endeavor to win her over. She seems to recognize her lot. Marshall, the criminal that she had to work with the parole board to import across the country, then pretend wasn't living with her to keep her benefits, yet somehow has parked herself on now that she has nowhere else to go.
Who the fuck knows what is going on? Did she get duped by a "true believer " out Tennessee way and start a rent to own? Did she set up camp in a shed on some latter day abraham's homestead in Arkansas and fly the coop when the internet service went down?
In any case,she dreams of having some wealthy landowner find her a high rate marriage prospect because she has a bunch of children to be used as free farm labor whether they like it or not.
But honestly she knows she's stuck with Marshall, or his like. For life. The landowner who she can exploit her kids for doesn't exist. The homestead she believes she'll eventually have, that she has even tried to blackmail kiwis to get, never going to happen. It's all just trailer trash and Marshall Castersen working on a car out front while she lactates.
If you really want to hit on her, pretend you have a piece of land. She'll split wide open. She'll even offer up her daughters.

 

[Cup Noodle]

While your taste in music is lovely, and I commend it, I hold out little hope for your autistic endeavor to win her over. She seems to recognize her lot. Marshall, the criminal that she had to work with the parole board to import across the country, then pretend wasn't living with her to keep her benefits, yet somehow has parked herself on now that she has nowhere else to go.
Who the fuck knows what is going on? Did she get duped by a "true believer " out Tennessee way and start a rent to own? Did she set up camp in a shed on some latter day abraham's homestead in Arkansas and fly the coop when the internet service went down?
In any case,she dreams of having some wealthy landowner find her a high rate marriage prospect because she has a bunch of children to be used as free farm labor whether they like it or not.
But honestly she knows she's stuck with Marshall, or his like. For life. The landowner who she can exploit her kids for doesn't exist. The homestead she believes she'll eventually have, that she has even tried to blackmail kiwis to get, never going to happen. It's all just trailer trash and Marshall Castersen working on a car out front while she lactates.
If you really want to hit on her, pretend you have a piece of land. She'll split wide open. She'll even offer up her daughters.

I am actually a land owner. I have a little farm here down south. It's nothing special but it is mine. I use my kids as free farm labor because that is what kids are for and the only reason why people used to have 15 children. The older ones take care of the younger ones and everyone has a job around the farm. I haven't looked into the age of her daughters, but if they are of age they are welcome to join my harem. If they aren't I have some boys who would be happy to add them to their harem.

 

[Toasty]

I am actually a land owner. I have a little farm here down south. It's nothing special but it is mine. I use my kids as free farm labor because that is what kids are for and the only reason why people used to have 15 children. The older ones take care of the younger ones and everyone has a job around the farm. I haven't looked into the age of her daughters, but if they are of age they are welcome to join my harem. If they aren't I have some boys who would be happy to add them to their harem.

Well it sounds like you have a great chance with the prized pig! PM her all about it or regale us here with your barnyard tales. We are bored.

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

I'll just have to seize the means of reproduction from him. I'm the Nazi in Pamela's delusion's, but I guess I can become the Commie in Melinda's.

Melinda actually likes socialism. Of course she misunderstands the concept as "getting free stuff from the government without giving anything in return" but still this may get you somewhere, comrade.

Choke-fucking is an essential part of my life. Have some music from the Appalachian hills. Ralph Stanley is my favorite bluegrass artist.

As I said in the other thread, as long as both (or all) parties are capable of consent and consenting and nobody gets any permanent damage, go with my blessing

 

[super thug]

I actually believe that Elohim sits like a King and Queen in a Castle eating the finest foods and having sex every day.

I also believe that one of the benefits of Eternal Life is sex in an immortal body. If an orgasm is as pleasurable on earth in a mortal body, imagine an orgasm in an immortal body.

>believes the gods have physical, immortal, human-like bodies
>an immortal body that eats
>an immortal body that fucks
>the fucking doesn't create offspring or other gods

...?

You know why eating and fucking feel good, don't you? That's evolution. You continue the species by eating and fucking, therefore they feel good to you. If you don't have to eat anymore, why would it still feel good?

If I can transfer my consciousness into a machine when I'm an old man, I'll do it. There are things that I want to witness in the future that I'll be unable to see with a normal lifespan. If your consciousness is in a machine, you wouldn't have to eat, breathe, sleep or fuck anymore. You wouldn't want to fuck because you'd have no hormones, no biological nervous system, there'd be no desire to fuck. Your joy would be the ability to interface with all other machines and human knowledge. You'd be part of something much bigger and your reality would be greatly expanded. You'd also be nigh-immortal.

I have a strong, attractive body and face so I'd be giving something up but I'd be getting something better. That's just the way of life in general. Look at a pet dog, how simple its life is compared to ours. More autonomy and authority always comes with a price.

Where am I going with this? It's just... amazing to me how your mind works. The way you think, the conclusions you come to. You still surprise me regularly but not in a good way. You're pushing 40 but it's like an 8yo's idea of heaven, just with sex added. Maybe you're right and that's what heaven is, it just seems extremely unlikely to me and most other people over the (mental) age of 15 or so.

Your idea of heaven is basically just you, on your back or on all fours, getting plowed and eating constantly. Which is pretty much the same as your mortal life just minus the children. So why don't you get rid of the kids and start using birth control to get a jump-start on heaven? Put them in foster care, they'd be better off and so would you.

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

So why don't you get rid of the kids and start using birth control to get a jump-start on heaven?

Freedom from moral judgement?
Maybe she really loves the kids in her broken way?

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

Freedom from moral judgement?
Maybe she really loves the kids in her broken way?

She loves the kids insofar as they are extensions of herself. When they grow up and say mom you're a fucking psycho and I will have no part of this cult, she will no longer love them.

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

She loves the kids insofar as they are extensions of herself. When they grow up and say mom you're a fucking psycho and I will have no part of this cult, she will no longer love them.

At this point they probably are the only semi-normal relation she has with other people (not counting Kiwis if we can be considered normal and this discussion a normal conversation) and probably the only one where she gets some semblance of acceptance - which she clearly wants, no matter what she says.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

At this point they probably are the only semi-normal relation she has with other people (not counting Kiwis if we can be considered normal and this discussion a normal conversation) and probably the only one where she gets some semblance of acceptance - which she clearly wants, no matter what she says.

I'd say we're more of a surrogate conscience. She lacks the little voice pleading to do the right thing. See: six kids, seven dads, no job/interest in jobs, thinks she's basically God's emissary, misuses Government funding, abuses those who disagree with her.
I think she likes being told what she really is.