Plagued Encyclopedia Dramatica - The Kiwi Farms that time forgot, ownership passed around a multitude of drug addicts and losers like a cheap prostitute, constantly offline, dead any day now, graveyard of shitty millennial humor.

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Imagine making a joke fit for a sixth grader, then laughing at it.
 
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knitting_workout said:
Looks like ED is down again, wonder if its for good this time
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knitting_workout said:
Yeah nevermind its back up again

Was looking for the article for this guy when it was down

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It's because you're on the wiki that was stolen from the community by Jacob Stellmach aka Paperclip

https://dramatica.online/index.php?title=Bob_Rehahn
This one works and has all the original images.

Paperclip, who only wrote one article, was banned from ED in 2015 and saw an opportunity to steal it. He came to the ED discord where the majority of the remaining active users resided and told us he was an oldfag. Nobody could fact-check Jacob's history due to the encyclopediadramatica.se site going down shortly after Conrad went to jail.

After former sysop Conrad Rockenhaus went to jail, he used the connections @adezero had to get old backups from former sysops. He hired a few pajeets for a couple of bucks and a few volunteers to rebuild the wiki for him from those backups. Everyone was initially ok with Jacob running the wiki initially, and for a year Jacob hid his incompetence with excuses. A

bout midway through 2020, Jacob and Adezero broke up with him while Jacob was squatting with her and he banned her from everything including the ED discord. It came to the surface that Jacob was being cucked by Ethan Ralph, which lead him to post Ethan Ralph's dox including Ethan's SSN on the Ethan Ralph article.

Jacob couldn't build a working forum. He's so incompetent he couldn't even set up a forum except for some PHPBB bullshit that was immediately filled with spam and devoid of users. The community of EDF users got together and made their own forum on xenforo to resemble EDF2 called malhub. Eventually, a deal was brokered that Aediot could host the forums which he was ultimately too lazy and inept to do so. He shut down his forum after Malhub was the most active of the two when the agreement was made.

Getting tired of Aediot's incompetence and him crying about the community and trying to repeatedly ban oldfags such as Likeicare, the community decided that the original wiki would be restored without him. Aediot was ousted shortly after he told an admin in a private Signal chat that he planned on starting a gofundme for a lawsuit from Kevin Mann then selling the website to a "darknet" friend. Aediot starting an LLC paints a giant legal target on his back.

While being on EDF he met his current girlfriend Ferris Baller, who was a known forum slut, and is now squatting with her.

After being ousted, he removes everyone from the original ED community and starts his shitlib bullshit instead of fixing his own wiki. He promptly flushed the user database after being kicked to keep everyone from the original ED community out which is why there's no open enrollment or activity from any of the former mods. He promised an ED imageboard which he has since given up on. He's so incompetent that his attempt at "fixing" .wiki after he was kicked from the ED community rolled back about a year's worth of restoration work for all his users. He's failed so miserably at fixing the missing images where on .online it was fixed in a weekend. Jacob's upload script has effectively bloated his entire image database by 5x, yet he tries to tout his wiki as having more content. Jacob spent most of early 2021 fucking up his own wiki. He's hidden the .wiki statistics and page views.

Every article on .online written before 2017 has had the images entirely restored.

Jacob is currently trying to trademark Encyclopedia Dramatica while simultaneously filing abuse complaints against .online's current host claiming he owns the "ED name"


cloudflare abuse.png


Funnily enough, dramatica.online is run entirely out of pocket by a member of the ED community and doesn't ask for ANY donations or even have the infrastructure currently.

Ultimately he plans to file a complaint to google to delist dramatica.online from searches as he's told members of his fake telegram group he runs some e-thot girl-worship shit out of calling it "cult".


The ED community as a whole has barely survived over the past several years with how many bans we've been dished out. It's always been hard on the community when the wiki goes completely dark and comes back as a reincarnation under a different domain. Currently it's confusing for old editors returning when they're fed lies


tl;dr
Jacob gets cucked by Ethan Ralph, gets kicked out of the ED community for being a cringy edgy faggot more lowly and Jewish than Zaiger, and encyclopediadramatica.wiki is a hijacked fake website.
 
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wretch said:
It's because you're on the wiki that was stolen from the community by Jacob Stellmach aka Paperclip

https://dramatica.online/index.php?title=Bob_Rehahn
This one works and has all the original images.

Paperclip, who only wrote one article, was banned from ED in 2015 and saw an opportunity to steal it. He came to the ED discord where the majority of the remaining active users resided and told us he was an oldfag. Nobody could fact-check Jacob's history due to the encyclopediadramatica.se site going down shortly after Conrad went to jail.

After former sysop Conrad Rockenhaus went to jail, he used the connections @adezero had to get old backups from former sysops. He hired a few pajeets for a couple of bucks and a few volunteers to rebuild the wiki for him from those backups. Everyone was initially ok with Jacob running the wiki initially, and for a year Jacob hid his incompetence with excuses. A

bout midway through 2020, Jacob and Adezero broke up with him while Jacob was squatting with her and he banned her from everything including the ED discord. It came to the surface that Jacob was being cucked by Ethan Ralph, which lead him to post Ethan Ralph's dox including Ethan's SSN on the Ethan Ralph article.

Jacob couldn't build a working forum. He's so incompetent he couldn't even set up a forum except for some PHPBB bullshit that was immediately filled with spam and devoid of users. The community of EDF users got together and made their own forum on xenforo to resemble EDF2 called malhub. Eventually, a deal was brokered that Aediot could host the forums which he was ultimately too lazy and inept to do so. He shut down his forum after Malhub was the most active of the two when the agreement was made.

Getting tired of Aediot's incompetence and him crying about the community and trying to repeatedly ban oldfags such as Likeicare, the community decided that the original wiki would be restored without him. Aediot was ousted shortly after he told an admin in a private Signal chat that he planned on starting a gofundme for a lawsuit from Kevin Mann then selling the website to a "darknet" friend. Aediot starting an LLC paints a giant legal target on his back.

While being on EDF he met his current girlfriend Ferris Baller, who was a known forum slut, and is now squatting with her.

After being ousted, he removes everyone from the original ED community and starts his shitlib bullshit instead of fixing his own wiki. He promptly flushed the user database after being kicked to keep everyone from the original ED community out which is why there's no open enrollment or activity from any of the former mods. He promised an ED imageboard which he has since given up on. He's so incompetent that his attempt at "fixing" .wiki after he was kicked from the ED community rolled back about a year's worth of restoration work for all his users. He's failed so miserably at fixing the missing images where on .online it was fixed in a weekend. Jacob's upload script has effectively bloated his entire image database by 5x, yet he tries to tout his wiki as having more content. Jacob spent most of early 2021 fucking up his own wiki. He's hidden the .wiki statistics and page views.

Every article on .online written before 2017 has had the images entirely restored.

Jacob is currently trying to trademark Encyclopedia Dramatica while simultaneously filing abuse complaints against .online's current host claiming he owns the "ED name"


View attachment 2121914

Funnily enough, dramatica.online is run entirely out of pocket by a member of the ED community and doesn't ask for ANY donations or even have the infrastructure currently.

Ultimately he plans to file a complaint to google to delist dramatica.online from searches as he's told members of his fake telegram group he runs some e-thot girl-worship shit out of calling it "cult".


The ED community as a whole has barely survived over the past several years with how many bans we've been dished out. It's always been hard on the community when the wiki goes completely dark and comes back as a reincarnation under a different domain. Currently it's confusing for old editors returning when they're fed lies


tl;dr
Jacob gets cucked by Ethan Ralph, gets kicked out of the ED community for being a cringy edgy faggot more lowly and Jewish than Zaiger, and encyclopediadramatica.wiki is a hijacked fake website.
Click to expand...
This guy knows what he's talking about!
 
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wretch said:
After former sysop Conrad Rockenhaus went to jail, he used the connections @adezero had to get old backups from former sysops.
Click to expand...
Why is every one of these admins such an absolute lolcow and a fuckup?
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This absolute wizard got fired from his job and then deliberately fucked up their servers using a backdoor he'd installed. Then he got hired back to fix the shit he'd broken, but before this happened, they figured out he was the one who'd done it. Then later he snuck into the server room and fucked up some shit there.

Name: CONRAD ROCKENHAUS
Register Number: 39400-480
Age: 39
Race: White
Sex: Male
Release Date: UNKNOWN
Located At: FMC Fort Worth
Click to expand...

And now he is sitting in FMC Fort Worth.

I attached the complaint. Also here's the full docket:

I can't believe I didn't know about this guy. Yet another winner. He's looking at ten years (though will probably get less under the Guidelines) and over $321,000 in damages.

Also, lmao bitch, you're 39, get that fun computer crime shit out of your system when you're a minor, or at least still young enough you can pull the young and foolish and I didn't do it and I'll never do it again honest yeronner card.

And going back further, he was already the equivalent of a convict after being court-martialed and given the Big Chicken Dinner for seven counts of making false official statements and, I am not shitting you, "four specifications of wearing an unauthorized ribbon or device[.]"

He was literally a stolen honor fuckup.

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AnOminous said:
Why is every one of these admins such an absolute lolcow and a fuckup?
View attachment 2122133
This absolute wizard got fired from his job and then deliberately fucked up their servers using a backdoor he'd installed. Then he got hired back to fix the shit he'd broken, but before this happened, they figured out he was the one who'd done it. Then later he snuck into the server room and fucked up some shit there.



And now he is sitting in FMC Fort Worth.

I attached the complaint. Also here's the full docket:

I can't believe I didn't know about this guy. Yet another winner.
Click to expand...

I think I knew this guy was a shithead before, but holy shit. Caught by the glowies.

Watch as he goes full weev and resorts to white supremacy in prison.
 
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AnOminous said:
Why is every one of these admins such an absolute lolcow and a fuckup?
View attachment 2122133
This absolute wizard got fired from his job and then deliberately fucked up their servers using a backdoor he'd installed. Then he got hired back to fix the shit he'd broken, but before this happened, they figured out he was the one who'd done it. Then later he snuck into the server room and fucked up some shit there.



And now he is sitting in FMC Fort Worth.

I attached the complaint. Also here's the full docket:

I can't believe I didn't know about this guy. Yet another winner. He's looking at ten years (though will probably get less under the Guidelines) and over $321,000 in damages.

Also, lmao bitch, you're 39, get that fun computer crime shit out of your system when you're a minor, or at least still young enough you can pull the young and foolish and I didn't do it and I'll never do it again honest yeronner card.

And going back further, he was already the equivalent of a convict after being court-martialed and given the Big Chicken Dinner for seven counts of making false official statements and, I am not shitting you, "four specifications of wearing an unauthorized ribbon or device[.]"

He was literally a stolen honor fuckup.

View attachment 2122159
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Believe it or not, that's who Ade is dating currently via prison email.
 
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AnOminous said:
Why is every one of these admins such an absolute lolcow and a fuckup?
View attachment 2122133
This absolute wizard got fired from his job and then deliberately fucked up their servers using a backdoor he'd installed. Then he got hired back to fix the shit he'd broken, but before this happened, they figured out he was the one who'd done it. Then later he snuck into the server room and fucked up some shit there.



And now he is sitting in FMC Fort Worth.

I attached the complaint. Also here's the full docket:

I can't believe I didn't know about this guy. Yet another winner. He's looking at ten years (though will probably get less under the Guidelines) and over $321,000 in damages.

Also, lmao bitch, you're 39, get that fun computer crime shit out of your system when you're a minor, or at least still young enough you can pull the young and foolish and I didn't do it and I'll never do it again honest yeronner card.

And going back further, he was already the equivalent of a convict after being court-martialed and given the Big Chicken Dinner for seven counts of making false official statements and, I am not shitting you, "four specifications of wearing an unauthorized ribbon or device[.]"

He was literally a stolen honor fuckup.
Click to expand...

Nice find, I did not know they unsealed it.

We suspected that was the cause. There is also a few reddit posts about an IT guy leaving a Deadman's switch. Thought it could be him, but it's not uncommon so who knows.

Since you are an attorney, IIRC, you might be interested to know that The Supreme Court will soon issue an opinion in United States v. Van Buren, (any opinion day now) defining the "exceeding authorized access" in re, 18 USC 1030.

I thought it possibly might have helped Conrad, but it looks like they are charging him when he was fired.

Supposedly he has a possible pretrial agreement in the works. He's already been sitting in jail for a year. Although the max sentence is a year, I do not see him spending that much longer in the can, but who knows. Over/under how many years he'll get?
 
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umkemesik said:
Since you are an attorney, IIRC, you might be interested to know that The Supreme Court will soon issue an opinion in United States v. Van Buren, (any opinion day now) defining the "exceeding authorized access" in re, 18 USC 1030.
Click to expand...
Goddammit how many times do I have to deny the vile slur that I am a lawyer. Yes, I have a law degree, yes, I have passed the bar, yes, I have practiced, but no, I am not a lawyer, and do not have an active license. Quit defaming me!
 
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AnOminous said:
Why is every one of these admins such an absolute lolcow and a fuckup?
View attachment 2122133
This absolute wizard got fired from his job and then deliberately fucked up their servers using a backdoor he'd installed. Then he got hired back to fix the shit he'd broken, but before this happened, they figured out he was the one who'd done it. Then later he snuck into the server room and fucked up some shit there.



And now he is sitting in FMC Fort Worth.

I attached the complaint. Also here's the full docket:

I can't believe I didn't know about this guy. Yet another winner. He's looking at ten years (though will probably get less under the Guidelines) and over $321,000 in damages.

Also, lmao bitch, you're 39, get that fun computer crime shit out of your system when you're a minor, or at least still young enough you can pull the young and foolish and I didn't do it and I'll never do it again honest yeronner card.

And going back further, he was already the equivalent of a convict after being court-martialed and given the Big Chicken Dinner for seven counts of making false official statements and, I am not shitting you, "four specifications of wearing an unauthorized ribbon or device[.]"

He was literally a stolen honor fuckup.

View attachment 2122159
View attachment 2122161
View attachment 2122163
View attachment 2122165
View attachment 2122167
View attachment 2122169
Click to expand...
I get that this guy's a compulsive liar. But how did he not expect the military court to go over every one of his claims with a fine toothed comb?
 
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thismanlies said:
I get that this guy's a compulsive liar. But how did he not expect the military court to go over every one of his claims with a fine toothed comb?
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I suspect he was extremely arrogant in addition to being a dumb fuck up because he'd been getting away with a lot more shit than he got booted over for a long time. In the full court martial is mentions that he was questioned by his command regarding his awards 6 months prior. He's lucky he was a SNCO and had to have been in some fucking pog unit. An NCO or lower in a grunt unit and he would have had the absolute fuck beaten out of him for wearing a CAR, Purple Heart, and NCM w/ a V. That's saying you went and actively participated in combat, got wounded doing so, and performed heroic actions in the process. A Navy Marine Corps Commendation Medal is right below a Bronze Star concerning going above and beyond the call of duty. The V designator is for Valor meaning you earned that award for bravery in combat. You can get Bronze Star for filing paperwork really fucking good. People will take notice of a stack like that especially if you aren't in a line company. That's shit real niggas wear. He may not have had the shit beaten out of him as E-6, but Gunny and 1st Sgt. would have taken him behind the woodshed and put the fear of god in him. Then again I knew a few Gunnys who wouldn't have given a fuck. They were never going to pick up First Sergeant anyway.

I'm guessing he was billeted at a position that required him to wear a Navy khaki working uniform or he went full hog and purchased USMC service uniforms as Navy personnel assigned to the Marine Corps are permitted to do. Then again he seems stupid enough that he might have thought it was a good idea to change out of cammies to go in and impress NCIS with his stack. You aren't required to dress up to talk to them or anything. God, I hope he had the brakes beaten off of him somewhere in this whole process.
 
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