Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 380 14.3%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 11.9%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,662
You know, Fabletics should drop her, there's a much better option for targeting her same demographic:
Her moon madness is reflected on TikTok
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None of the people I know, who are in harmony with themselves, are yapping constantly about self-love and none of them will ever tell anyone to say 'Just say fuck it, just accept what a failure you are'. Yes, one should not flog him-/herself over some tiny imperfection, but one should always strive to improve.
And she tries to fill the void in her soul with starbucks ... holy shit, this is so pathetic.
 
Tess translation: “ I’m worried about my Instagram engagement so here’s a photo of me pretending not to care about my Instagram engagement. “
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Tess needs to work on her "I'M NOT MAD YOUSE GUISE!' face, because it's not fooling anyone.

It makes her look like she suffered a stroke. :story:
 
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Tess translation: “ I’m worried about my Instagram engagement so here’s a photo of me pretending not to care about my Instagram engagement. “
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This selfie is so forced it's unsettling.

She's trying to look happy and carefree but it's like she's never actually felt happy and carefree so she just comes off as psychotic.
 
From my browsing of the plastic surgery thread, I’m convinced Tess had a medical thread lift done on her eyes along her Botox and fillers. It costs about 2k and lasts a year(ish).
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I’ve attached a picture of what a before and after looks like, it’s not of Tess specifically but the end result looks very similar.
 
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From my browsing of the plastic surgery thread, I’m convinced Tess had a medical thread lift done on her eyes along her Botox and fillers. It costs about 2k and lasts a year(ish).

I’ve attached a picture of what a before and after looks like, it’s not of Tess specifically but the end result looks very similar.
I think you are spot on and lines up with her comment about no longer being able to wink. Not that I’d want her to do that, of course. I suppose she can pretend to wink for her john while she farts on another cake.
 
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"I don't just eat dunkaroos! I don't I don't I don't!"

I’d really like to know who is driving Tess to the store when she goes to the grocery store stoned. And if she’s waiting until she’s in the parking lot to get high, she’s still stoned when she’s driving home. She parents stoned, she drives stoned, I wonder how much she drives Bowie around high in some capacity. Incredible what some people will admit on camera.
 
I’d really like to know who is driving Tess to the store when she goes to the grocery store stoned. And if she’s waiting until she’s in the parking lot to get high, she’s still stoned when she’s driving home. She parents stoned, she drives stoned, I wonder how much she drives Bowie around high in some capacity. Incredible what some people will admit on camera.
Or she's ubering to and from.
 
I got 8 mins into this one, which is a record for me, as her fake Valley girl voice grates me so much.

Jo Frost added to the long list of BFFs. ✅

Also love how Tess now has the hooves covered because she knows otherwise they'll just attract hate comments. :lit:

Bowie is such a cute kid, I know we say this a lot but I feel so bad for him having such narc parents.:heart-full:
 
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