Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Maxxicus Callahan]

Apparently Lucas invited all the KF users to dinner some years back.

 

[Nobleman]

Just a friendly reminder, Lucas has a payee so his check indeed arrives around the first, he doesn't get it on that date. From what has been deduced from many of his videos, his payee takes a chunk and puts it into a housing fund, and then breaks up the rest and gives Lucas a check for each Monday of the month.

Now the question is to be asked, if Lucas gets a check every Monday, why didn't he get a phone? Well we know why. He is an idiot. Let's recall last time I saw him, he was walking down the street in hospital pants, but instead of ya know, buying pants, he went into the NUDO Ramen restaurant to check out what's to eat. A purely impulsive hand to mouth existence.

 

[Da Dude123]

Unwiped. Drop it and dip.

Just a friendly reminder, Lucas has a payee so his check indeed arrives around the first, he doesn't get it on that date. From what has been deduced from many of his videos, his payee takes a chunk and puts it into a housing fund, and then breaks up the rest and gives Lucas a check for each Monday of the month.

Now the question is to be asked, if Lucas gets a check every Monday, why didn't he get a phone? Well we know why. He is an idiot. Let's recall last time I saw him, he was walking down the street in hospital pants, but instead of ya know, buying pants, he went into the NUDO Ramen restaurant to check out what's to eat. A purely impulsive hand to mouth existence.

A lot of good that housing fund is doing. He has been homeless for a year and has not even came close to finding housing. Maybe the payee saw what a useless endeavor trying to get Lucas into housing is and said the hell with it? Just give tubby his gubmint handouts. He earned them by being an exceptional individual. Of course, he can't have more than $2000 in his name.

Maybe Fat Lucas will have a new prepaid phone and some donation bin clothing tomorrow?

 

[ClownBrew]

I can't imagine what Payee is doing with that money. She may as well be stuffing it down a gigolo's codpiece in some seedy alley behind Clinkerdaggers at this point for all the good it's doing. Lucas should have been housed a good eight months ago.

I'd ask myself if there is even one competent person at the wheel in Washington but at this point I have run out of margarita mix.

 

[Vi0l3t]

If he has a payee I bet he has to wait until Monday they probably only work Monday through Friday.

 

[mothman96]

When the 1st falls on a weekend the Freak gets his SSI on the Friday before. The SSI was in his acct by the morning of the 30th (Friday). He has access to the money on the same day it is deposited into his acct. He could have gotten a check from the payee on Friday. He's had the same $1200 savings for an apt. for at least 7 mo. which shows he's been blowing all of his monthly SSI.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

What are the prevailing theories if he doesn't turn up after his payee should have paid him?

 

[wenttobermuda]

What are the prevailing theories if he doesn't turn up after his payee should have paid him?

Laughing academy.

 

[Vi0l3t]

What are the prevailing theories if he doesn't turn up after his payee should have paid him?

Lol what if people saw him in the blue hospital pants not because he shat himself but he escaped from the hospital

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Lol what if people saw him in the blue hospital pants not because he shat himself but he escaped from the hospital

Why not both?
Lucas shitting himself isn't an either-or, its an additive.

Lucas could be in the loony bin, he could also likely be in the loony bin and shitting himself.
Lucas could be getting his ass kicked in a crack den, he could also likely be getting his ass kicked in a crack den while shitting himself.
Lucas could be back at the shelter with no phone. He could also have shit himself while at the shelter with no phone.

 

[WonderWino]

Lol what if people saw him in the blue hospital pants not because he shat himself but he escaped from the hospital

It legitimately wouldn't surprise me if something like that happens at some point. Lucas is an idiot, but so are the people that staff those places. I've done security jobs in dementia patient wards, hospital psych wards, hospitals and actual mental hospitals and if there is one thing i've noticed its that security is lax to the point its almost scary. I've seen dementia patients slip out past people coming in through keypad locked doors cause people don't pay attention, i've seen staff ignore patients beating on doors and fucking around with them trying to get them open, same with keypads, seen staff ignore a 90ish dementia patient who had been wandering up and down the halls for 2 straight days, refusing to sleep or return to her room, until she collapsed and injured herself, and at one point was told by a night nurse NOT to escort a violent patient I was there to watch and ensure he had no contact with non white patients, staff or anybody else, after said nurse sent him out, entirely unescorted, through the hospital to the outdoor smoking area with a bunch of other patients, some of which he had already gotten into violent fights with. Also keep in mind the reason I was there in the first place was because said inmate was committed after being arrested for literally trying to kill a cop by repeatedly punching him in the throat and then kicking him in the head repeatedly with steel toed boots when he went down, and who already had it out with several of the other patients. and note that by sending them out through the hospital I literally mean she opened the keycard locked door to the psych ward, let them leave unescorted, through the main lobby of the hospital and past several clinic waiting areas full of patients and visitors. They could have made a run for the door easily, as the main entrance isn't locked and only has one guard, or they could have done harm to any of the people in the clinic waiting areas

So yeah, if eastern state is anything like the security those places have I wouldn't be all that surprised if lucas, or somebody like him managed to slip out sooner or later because nobody was paying attention and/or did something stupid. Not that I expect its what happened in this case but its not all that far off of a possibility

On that note, if i've learned nothing else with this job its that you should really, really do your homework on seniors care homes before sending a family member to one. The amount of questionable behavior and neglect going on at the ones i've seen is more than a little concerning. If this is how things are when i'm around, as an outside hired for a specific job, it makes me wonder what goes on when i'm not there, to the point i've legitimately considered contacting the media about it

 

[Vi0l3t]

Why not both?
Lucas shitting himself isn't an either-or, its an additive.

Lucas could be in the loony bin, he could also likely be in the loony bin and shitting himself.
Lucas could be getting his ass kicked in a crack den, he could also likely be getting his ass kicked in a crack den while shitting himself.
Lucas could be back at the shelter with no phone. He could also have shit himself while at the shelter with no phone.

Most likely

It legitimately wouldn't surprise me if something like that happens at some point. Lucas is an idiot, but so are the people that staff those places. I've done security jobs in dementia patient wards, hospital psych wards, hospitals and actual mental hospitals and if there is one thing i've noticed its that security is lax to the point its almost scary. I've seen dementia patients slip out past people coming in through keypad locked doors cause people don't pay attention, i've seen staff ignore patients beating on doors and fucking around with them trying to get them open, same with keypads, seen staff ignore a 90ish dementia patient who had been wandering up and down the halls for 2 straight days, refusing to sleep or return to her room, until she collapsed and injured herself, and at one point was told by a night nurse NOT to escort a violent patient I was there to watch and ensure he had no contact with non white patients, staff or anybody else, after said nurse sent him out, entirely unescorted, through the hospital to the outdoor smoking area with a bunch of other patients, some of which he had already gotten into violent fights with. Also keep in mind the reason I was there in the first place was because said inmate was committed after being arrested for literally trying to kill a cop by repeatedly punching him in the throat and then kicking him in the head repeatedly with steel toed boots when he went down, and who already had it out with several of the other patients. and note that by sending them out through the hospital I literally mean she opened the keycard locked door to the psych ward, let them leave unescorted, through the main lobby of the hospital and past several clinic waiting areas full of patients and visitors. They could have made a run for the door easily, as the main entrance isn't locked and only has one guard, or they could have done harm to any of the people in the clinic waiting areas

So yeah, if eastern state is anything like the security those places have I wouldn't be all that surprised if lucas, or somebody like him managed to slip out sooner or later because nobody was paying attention and/or did something stupid. Not that I expect its what happened in this case but its not all that far off of a possibility

On that note, if i've learned nothing else with this job its that you should really, really do your homework on seniors care homes before sending a family member to one. The amount of questionable behavior and neglect going on at the ones i've seen is more than a little concerning. If this is how things are when i'm around, as an outside hired for a specific job, it makes me wonder what goes on when i'm not there, to the point i've legitimately considered contacting the media about it

I bet he'll show up this week in all honesty

 

[wenttobermuda]

A few things to consider as we ponder the absence of a fat, failed sex pest that has become a source of entertainment and fascination for many of us:

Spoiler: boring sperging follows

1. Lucas is unlikely to have voluntarily withdrawn from social media. It's his primary contact with the world, his social outlet, the way he broadcasts his mating call to all the fecund baes. I do not credit him with the self-awareness, good sense or restraint to necessary to step away from IG. Lucas's recent lack of content almost certainly has an external cause.

2. The past few months have been brutal for Lucas. He's been banned from at least two shelters he's relied on, caught a misdemeanor, spazzed, apparently withdrawn from community college again, called in suicide threats out of desperation, possibly had the coof. The arrival of Biden bucks, which he was very much looking forward to, was shortly followed by his disappearance. Many folks speculate that he was rolled for his money, and at the very least, he didn't treat us to the spectacle of him enjoying his money in a motel.

3. When Lucas disappears from social media, as he often does, there is a good chance that he's been hospitalized. The chance increases with the length of his absence. We're about three weeks into Lucas's last IG post at this point.

4. Yet, Lucas apparently has limited internet access, as demonstrated by his comments on @klickitat's videos. The theory that Lucas is using a computer at the library is supported by the fact that he hasn't been producing and posting any video content. I do not believe that the laughing academy offers internet access to its students, but I am not an expert on WA mental hospitals. Thus, despite the length of Lucas's absence, I suspect he's on the streets. I would be quite surprised if he didn't spend at least a portion of the past 3 weeks in a hospital, though.

Nonetheless, I expect we'll be enjoying fresh content from Lucas this week.

I'm interested in Lucas's housing situation, as it seems to be increasingly volatile. Being banned from two of the shelters he was most comfortable at is a big deal. Perhaps @Nobleman will be able to provide more details at some point, but for the time being it seems that Lucas's has been squabbling with his fellow vagrants, to the degree that he's no longer welcome at reliable haunts. The list of places he can sleep under a roof is shrinking, and he's on a do-not-rent list with one of the few groups in Spokane that could provide him with an apartment. I'm curious to see how much worse he can make things on himself.

I miss Lucas's fartbox, though probably not as much as he does. When he has a bit of comfort and stability in his life, he produces the kind of content I like the best: shirtless videos, Wern cuisine, poetry, smug word salads.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

So yeah, if eastern state is anything like the security those places have I wouldn't be all that surprised if lucas, or somebody like him managed to slip out sooner or later because nobody was paying attention and/or did something stupid. Not that I expect its what happened in this case but its not all that far off of a possibility

Eastern State has already had that happen. They had a patient escape while on a field trip to the Spokane County Fair. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phillip_Arnold_Paul

 

[Da Dude123]

If he doesn't turn up this week, then something is going on. We have to rely on the boots on the ground to report on Lucas sightings. It would take some serious autism, but going on a recognizance mission to known locations Lucas is known to frequent could turn up results.

Lucas by definition is a vulnerable person, due to his exceptionalism and could possibly be at risk for financial exploitation. Someone swindling him out of his tardbux check with the promise of zoomer women or by jumping the cow and taking his tugboat. If that is happening, then I just wish they would leave his phone and charger so we can learn more about it.

We are the closest thing that Lucas has to anyone who cares about him and that includes his own mother. How sad...

 

[Trainwreck]

I've been out of town for a couple of weeks and just got back to downtown today. I checked this thread on vacation and was sad to not have any bullshit to read and or watch from Lucas on the plane.

Anyways, I'll have my eyes open for the fat faggot.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

Attached are the docs for his trespass citation. Unfortunately it is completely mundane and a pretty common thing among homeless weirdos. No video footage was provided, I'll check with records but it's very possible that because it was park rangers (rather than the city police) that they don't have bodycams.

 

[Fecunt]

Attached are the docs for his trespass citation. Unfortunately it is completely mundane and a pretty common thing among homeless weirdos. No video footage was provided, I'll check with records but it's very possible that because it was park rangers (rather than the city police) that they don't have bodycams.
View attachment 2139662View attachment 2139664View attachment 2139666View attachment 2139668View attachment 2139671

Hahaha arrested directly across the water from Clinkernigger where he was undoubtedly gazing at it longingly

 

[wenttobermuda]

Attached are the docs for his trespass citation. Unfortunately it is completely mundane and a pretty common thing among homeless weirdos. No video footage was provided, I'll check with records but it's very possible that because it was park rangers (rather than the city police) that they don't have bodycams.
View attachment 2139662View attachment 2139664View attachment 2139666View attachment 2139668View attachment 2139671

Interesting and mundane, and thank you.

Imagine a map of downtown Spokane. Cross off Rivefront Park. HoC, too. All of the other places, from bars to bus depots, that Lucas is banned from. What does it look like? Now imagine the locations being crossed off over time. A series of dots appearing all over the map. Wherever Lucas goes, he is told to go away at not come back.

Why? This "why," is, of course, rhetorical. It's because he's a fat faggot. But him answering the "why" is one of the pleasures of Wernology--listening to Lucas explain how he is not responsible for his suffering.

Lucas has steadily been losing access to homeless shelters and public spaces. His world grows smaller and smaller. He has little privacy in his day to day life, and little privacy online. What a difficult state of affairs.

I enjoyed this bit:

I saw a male, that I recognized as Lucas Colby Werner sitting on a bench at the Rotary Fountain inside the park. I knew Werner to be excluded from the park...

I like the idea of Lucas being instantly recognizable as something who doesn't belong, and being chased out. It's a big part of his experience.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

I enjoyed this bit:

I like the idea of Lucas being instantly recognizable as something who doesn't belong, and being chased out. It's a big part of his experience.

Yeah, one of the reasons I wanted the arrest narrative was that I was wondering if this was a case of someone calling or the police self-initiating a call. The former would indicate that he was being a disorderly moron at the moment. The latter indicates that he's enough of a chronic problem that he's a frequent flier and the police know and tell each other about him.