The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%

  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%

  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%

  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%

  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%

  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%

  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%

  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%

  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%

  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%

  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%

  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%
  • Total voters
    2,258
???
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Upon closer inspection I think he followed a porn bot lmao
 
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“God's creatures who cried themselves to sleep stirred to cry again"

"But the face on the pillow, rosy in the firelight, is certainly that of Clarice Starling, and she sleeps deeply, sweetly, in the silence of the lambs.”
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I just remembered those two quotes that are fittingly enough from Thomas Harris' Silence of the lambs.

But for the lambs of the tenacious unicorn ranch there would be no silence, only the howls of abused dogs, cries of loathsome cats, the anguished bleats of the suffering alpaca, and worst of all. The reeing of the troons as they cried in anguish as another overwatch game was cut short by a power outage.


oh and lastly may i just say it's fitting i was thinking of that book, considering buffalo bill may as well be the patron saint of all troons.
 
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Rotter said:
Don't know what an "alpacashwitz" joke is.
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Here's a couple:

It's sad to see pictures of the herd at Alpacaschwitz, then you remember the camera adds 10 pounds.

Penny was interveiwing a new Tranchhand. After making sure that he had money, and could be isolated from any family or contact with friends not on the tranch, Penny looked the prospective man-in-dress who wanted to join them
"I'm going need you to demonstrate you're able to do the work that's required around here. I'm going to need you to show no emotion while you make sure two dozen alpacas, three chickens, one lamb you separated from its mother, and yourself are given inadequate food for a full week. If you can starve those animals and yourself for a week, I'll know you've got what it takes to join the ranch. Any questions?"
"Why would I starve myself?" The prospect answered in a cracking falsetto.
"Welcome to the Tenancious Unicorn Ranch." Penny replied.

What's the difference between a malnourished Alpaca and a GoFundMe? You can milk the GoFundMe.
 
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break these cuffs said:
It's a big nothingburger until Tom rents a U-haul van and shows up with a sleeping bag and his rock collection.
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He's gonna brain Earl with a rose quartz, just you watch.
horrorfan89 said:
oh and lastly may i just say it's fitting i was thinking of that book, considering buffalo bill may as well be the patron saint of all troons.
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Gigantic weird nordic man Nikki Tutorials on YouTube has a Buffalo Bill tattoo, and creepy man and lolcow Terra Jones made "BuffaloBill" his handle on this site (edit: no he didn't but it's still funny). Troons never bray for Silence of the Lambs to be canceled because they secretly love that movie. It has footage of women being tortured in it, which they like ("It's Pat!" has no torture scenes, so it doesn't appeal to troonic tastes). And they really do want to wear women suits, and occasionally they say the quiet part outloud.
I can totally imagine Agent Starling raiding the Tranch and finding horrors within.
If Jarrod Stanley is distraught over his friend having to dumpster dive for food, why doesn't he buy her some groceries using the six-figures the Tranch just raised? Maybe Kevin could sell a Transformer to help a struggling comrade? You can get plenty of groceries for like 40 bucks. Why do they e-beg constantly, but then when a friend is in trouble, all they can offer is self-centered, rage-filled tweets? If they can spend money on wine, weed and whiskey, then surely they can spend money on "mutual aid"?
Don't be a performative ally, Jarrod! Dip into that hormone fund and help your friend!
 
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Law said:
He's gonna brain Earl with a rose quartz, just you watch.

Gigantic weird nordic man Nikki Tutorials on YouTube has a Buffalo Bill tattoo, and creepy man and lolcow Terra Jones made "BuffaloBill" his handle on this site. Troons never bray for Silence of the Lambs to be canceled because they secretly love that movie. It has footage of women being tortured in it, which they like ("It's Pat!" has no torture scenes, so it doesn't appeal to troonic tastes). And they really do want to wear women suits, and occasionally they say the quiet part outloud.
I can totally imagine Agent Starling raiding the Tranch and finding horrors within.
If Jarrod Stanley is distraught over his friend having to dumpster dive for food, why doesn't he buy her some groceries using the six-figures the Tranch just raised? Maybe Kevin could sell a Transformer to help a struggling comrade? You can get plenty of groceries for like 40 bucks. Why do they e-beg constantly, but then when a friend is in trouble, all they can offer is self-centered, rage-filled tweets? If they can spend money on wine, weed and whiskey, then surely they can spend money on "mutual aid"?
Don't be a performative ally, Jarrod! Dip into that hormone fund and help your friend!
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But do they want fat chicks?

I'm speaking based on the book BTW. Bill's Victims tended to be heavyset women due to shrinkage the tanning process would cause to their skin. To quote the text itself, "he'd want "clothes " that would fit. "

Sorry just thinking about that book a lot and how it's aged to perfection. What was once the story of one psycho weirdo with gender dysphoria living in filth as A twisted parody of what he thought being a "woman " would be like. Has become the dime a dozen story of every troon.
 
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I know someone already talked about the starving alpaca, but side by side comparisons of fresh-shorn health pacas versus the tranch's... oof. Plus, that wool looks nasty as hell and there's barely any of it; what the fuck are they going to shave come shearing time?? It'll be interesting, actually, if they post any post-shearing pics. We'd get a better idea of their condition then.
 
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Coccxys said:
Alpaca body condition scoring.

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Healthy herd
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Emaciated herds (both of which resulted in the ranch being raided and the herd seized).

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Yeah, the tranch sucks and its disgusting to watch (and very difficult to not become MATI).

Edit: it's amazing how many parallels there are between this and the tranch (there's even an Earl involved)

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Nothing To See Here said:
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I know someone already talked about the starving alpaca, but side by side comparisons of fresh-shorn health pacas versus the tranch's... oof. Plus, that wool looks nasty as hell and there's barely any of it; what the fuck are they going to shave come shearing time?? It'll be interesting, actually, if they post any post-shearing pics. We'd get a better idea of their condition then.
Click to expand...
Checked back again and oh thank GOD I'm glad someone with more expertise is looking into this.

Below are some posts I've mentioned earlier in regards to the paca's health and I'll mention them again for visibility and it's related to the discussion.
This image set are the ones that first come to mind as they're pretty recent. I don't think they're sheared here though, but it includes a video so one can check for unusual gaits.
0x0000C1A said:
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Gone Ham said:
They’re on a tweeting rampage rn holy shit. Here's what they have so far. They also finished it off with plugging etsy and Patreon
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1440p Curved Monitor said:
Checked back again and oh thank GOD I'm glad someone with more expertise is looking into this.

Below are some posts I've mentioned earlier in regards to the paca's health and I'll mention them again for visibility and it's related to the discussion.
This image set are the ones that first come to mind as they're pretty recent. I don't think they're sheared here though, but it includes a video so one can check for unusual gaits.
Click to expand...
Someone else explained that even if they are technically providing enough hay to meet the herd's caloric needs, the supply tends to get dominated by a few alphapaca and in retrospect it's obvious in those pictures. Some of them look fine; at the very least they aren't obviously starving to death.
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But you can tell that some of these guys are not allowed to get to the bales before they get trampled and shat up. The problem is actually more obvious with the big, fluffy alphapacas to contrast them with.
 
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Surfin Terf said:
Someone else explained that even if they are technically providing enough hay to meet the herd's caloric needs, the supply tends to get dominated by a few alphapaca and in retrospect it's obvious in those pictures. Some of them look fine; at the very least they aren't obviously starving to death.
1619461418251-png.2120647
1619461474113-png.2120649

But you can tell that some of these guys are not allowed to get to the bales before they get trampled and shat up. The problem is actually more obvious with the big, fluffy alphapacas to contrast them with.
Click to expand...
Maybe the fluffier and healthier ones are just newcomers. When was the last time they brought in a new batch of inmates? Maybe the fluffier ones just haven't starved yet.
 
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