DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

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Quite a few people here seem to be under the impression that his paypigs are ignorant and that's why they continue to donate, hint hint it's not. They know how much he makes, they know about wwe champions, they know he won't make improvements, they know he lies about everything, There is a reason he has so few people donating to him, everyone is aware of his antics, most won't donate but some will for a variety of reasons, none of which are due to ignorance of his finances.
Not entirely wrong, but Phil's scam is more of a wide whaling net than a transparent GIMME MUNNIES BECAUSE UHHHH I LEFT MY HORSE IN THE FREEZER AND IT GOT COLD, I NEED A GOLD-PLATED ELECTRIC BLANKET. We even got specific paypigs that have believed specific Phil lines. But yes, some people absolutely believe one or two things that Phil says; You gotta keep in mind, Phil's a 24/7 fountain of pure bullshit, so all it takes is one idiot to believe one thing.

"My life's been tuff!" -PlanetJeff for example seems to feel pity for Phil, for example, and empties his pockets accordingly. PlanetJeff has a dead wife, so his own life's been tuff. He connects with Phil and helps him out. The tractors telling him that he's a moron only seems to encourage him to do what he thinks is the "right" thing.

"I am a lifelong entertainer that has provided a 35 year beggacy of free khantent on the innurnet!" Some people, I think this was why Vidar started donating to him, feel like they should give back on account of all the free content.

"I need money for games, I need money for stream improvements, I need money for BTTV, I need money for a new gamepad!" Famously, DJRuno got FUCKED with Goose Game and charged it back. OIC bankrolls Phil when he needs new stuff like the controller. The anonymous TV donation. The list goes on. Again, let's underline this: DJRuno ABSOLUTELY thought that Phil would buy Goose Game with his 20. Phil said it, Runo donated it, Phil immediately walked it back. Runo charged it back, sure, but he had been supporting for months by then.

"We own the trolls! I'm a success, mane! They're jealous that I'm doing what I love for a living!" ShirtlessMoFo for example seems to donate partly out of this and partly out of pity like Jeff. This is a good angle mostly because it attracts very dumb, but very generous whales trying to get a petty one-up on people who don't give much of a fuck one way or the other.

"I'm barely making ends meet over here! Every week is a reemergency! I have to pay bills every hour!" Because Phil isn't one to let silly things like mutual exclusivity by logic get in the way of his whaling nets, Phil is simultaneously a big dick streamer who makes thousands upon thousands a month, and a poor destitute man, on his last mortgage payment before the repoman comes and shuffles Khet off to the glue factory for the cents she'd be worth.

This is the one that irks the tractorsphere the most. The long con for this one is, everyone that's into DSP knows... But the new viewers don't. By switching games often and discouraging the forming of a community (Discord? Get that shit outta here unless you're a whale! Forum? Fuck off and get to the tumbleweed North Korean grounds where KGhaleon can enforce my pignotizing rules! YT comments? Haha no, they're toxic toilet juice!) Phil aims this at the guys who walk in and have some disposable income but haven't seen him before. Phil avoids begging when there's a raid, for example. But he'll ALWAYS make up some off-the-cuff reactionary emergency around the times stimbux or paychecks are rolling, without fail. This is part of why he pushes so hard for big donos in the form of tips: Phil doesn't want to keep you around. His ideal viewer is a one time 1K$ donator who gets moved to tears by his gouty tales, empties his wallet, wishes Phil well and disappears forever. Having regular whales who aren't pignotized would be incredibly detrimental. That's why he's quick to squash any dissent even when the dissent comes from regulars like Major Riot.

"I'm the realest motherfucker on the internet! I'm a badass who dated a hot asian and doesn't afraid of anything!" This edgy approach attracts immature dorks who think this is really really cool. Phil's been mostly diluting this facet of his persona lately, switching it for the knows-better suburban catdad with a horsewife and an idillic homelife. Still, the remnants of the thunderous figure that snorted with the might of a thousand suns as he leaned in on the shithead trolls attracted a bunch of terribly dumb motherfuckers like Swagginz. Phil obviously wants to just EVAHLVE into a chill streamer like Aris or Max Dood, but he's still an unfunny whiner who begs 24/7. He avoids anything even remotely difficult like the plague because he really thinks he can simply clean up his act by being a chill, item hunting, massive stalling turbobegger like on his recent RE8 streams. Yes, THAT is Phil being on his best behaviour and performance.

Furthermore, a suburban wholesome catdad would fucking cool it with the toilet humor, the scat fetish and the borderline homoerotic shit. He ALWAYS entertains this bullshit that Jasper is his real, actual son and pretty much a human being: Ask him ANYTHING about what character would Jasper play in Street Fighter or something and 9 times out of 10 he'll have a retarded answer to that. It's one of the few things he talks about outside of food and the vidya he's playing nowadays.

As for the suburban wholesome catdad persona in itself, I think it's the root of a new begging persona where Phil's just a cool dude who's had it rough and obviously you'd want to help him and his beautiful family stay afloat, but he hasn't fully fleshed it out yet. Him referring to Kat as a beautiful woman he has a great life with and Jasper as his actual son does have the hilarious consequence of making him look like a man lost in gacha, gin and self delusion with no way back. The whole thing is clearly a fuckwit's attempt at humanizing themselves, but it's just not working. And I think people actually yell "OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP" at their screens when he starts babytalking Jyamsper.

TL;DR: Some of his paypigs ABSOLUTELY eat up the bullshit. Generalizing is kinda difficult, they are a many layered village of autists and fools. Phil definitely tries to appeal to a wide variety of retorrrrs though, and it really shows. I wonder how he's gonna work the whole cool catdad and horsefucker Burnell into future begging arcs. Well, he and Kat don't fuck, but you get the idea.
 
Quite a few people here seem to be under the impression that his paypigs are ignorant and that's why they continue to donate, hint hint it's not. They know how much he makes, they know about wwe champions, they know he won't make improvements, they know he lies about everything, There is a reason he has so few people donating to him, everyone is aware of his antics, most won't donate but some will for a variety of reasons, none of which are due to ignorance of his finances.
I’m sure there are some pay pigs that are aware of his finances and don’t care but I also believe there’s tons that are just following his lies and trying to “own da trolls” and believe him whole heartedly. You’re never gonna stop the people like OIC and others who just don’t care and find some weird fetish in him. However, I’m sure there are some people who are indeed too dumb to put two and two together.
 
I'm watching the TIHYDP of RE: Village and I know this is going to be me late to the party but christ on a cross is he really unfun to watch play "scary" games. Doesn't get into it, can't shut the fuck up for a few seconds to let the atmosphere in to breathe, and worst/best of all we get appearances by my favorite Phil, Expertsydephil. Probably my favorite thing about his whole fucking RE: Village bitching has been how he doesn't get how the vampire femdoms can turn into bugs. Tries going into how the older RE games would mutate you and turn you into a zombie, but he just doesn't get how they could turn something into bugs, because scientifically speaking, mutating something like Nemesis or the guy from RE2 makes more sense.

First off, it's fantasy, straight up pure fantasy. if we are going to talk about RE in any sort of serious terms the virus/fungus/STD that umbrella makes is pretty low on my list of questions, pretty high is how the fuck umbrella can afford multiple giant underground facilities to test the virus, and why they have puzzle rooms in their facilities? Why does a police station have puzzle rooms while we are asking questions? To keep their employees entertained while on duty, I guess?

Sorry about getting sidetracked there, but it to me shows more that Phil doesn't get themes, which is more of an indication that he knows nothing about writing and shouldn't try to critique things since he doesn't understand it. They can turn into bugs 1) because nothing says that they CAN'T and 2) it's reflective of their interactions. You have the queen bee in lady Dimitrescu or however its spelled, and her warrior/worker bees. It also plays into how they are blood drinkers, like mosquitos, and is generally an unnerving concept of being able to appear out of thin air.

I want expertsydephil to explain how The Hobbit and LoTR in general don't make sense because we understand how evolution works.

I found the detractor commentary and conversation was far more entertaining with the constant outraging over Philbert's sheer dumbfuckery.
 
So I updated the script to pull UNIX timestamps and convert to date/time variables and found something amusing. Last night Phil got stuck in the class trial and was whining that the regulars who normally help him out weren't there.

Our friend mrminecraftfish spent $5 to tell DSP what to do. DSP either ignored this or did his patented "HUH? Lie about light function? I have no idea what you're talking about nuhuhuh." So mrminecraftfish spent another $5 2 minutes later trying to spoon feed DSP once more.

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This is genuinely sad.
 
So I updated the script to pull UNIX timestamps and convert to date/time variables and found something amusing. Last night Phil got stuck in the class trial and was whining that the regulars who normally help him out weren't there.

Our friend mrminecraftfish spent $5 to tell DSP what to do. DSP either ignored this or did his patented "HUH? Lie about light function? I have no idea what you're talking about nuhuhuh." So mrminecraftfish spent another $5 2 minutes later trying to spoon feed DSP once more.

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What an amazing scam. Proof some of these piggies are just purely dumb. Better off just buying a lotto ticket for ten then trying to help this lazy slob
 
Imagine the angry tweet storm that would burst from the snort fort if Phil woke up tomorrow with a boat anchor chained to his leg. Phil no doubt would also use this event for pity bucks as well.
When problems happen to Phil it's other people's responsibility to fix them. He is a fucking leech to this world, giving nothing and taking as much as possible.
 
So I updated the script to pull UNIX timestamps and convert to date/time variables and found something amusing. Last night Phil got stuck in the class trial and was whining that the regulars who normally help him out weren't there.

Our friend mrminecraftfish spent $5 to tell DSP what to do. DSP either ignored this or did his patented "HUH? Lie about light function? I have no idea what you're talking about nuhuhuh." So mrminecraftfish spent another $5 2 minutes later trying to spoon feed DSP once more.

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This is genuinely sad.
It's the same thing with CMFool that comes to mind. I honestly believe Phil is a great all round scammer. I think 50% of his game play is just him being flat out terrible at games because he has no imagination/critical thinking to solve problems/figure out a game despite claiming to be a "life long gamer" and 50% him knowing if he plays dumb and bumbles around long enough a fool will tip him and hand hold him.
 
Has Phil addressed the fact that he hasn't set the tips goal back to 100? I'd imagine that some paypig has already asked him about it.
Alright, we have another idiot in the chat asking troll questions. First of all my finances are none of your fucking business, understand? Okay, but yes the tips goal is still $200 because I need it to pay my bills, the internet bill, my back taxes and everything. Youtube won't pay me until late June so until then I need you to step up and tip me at least $400 a day, sound fair? Alright
 
50% him knowing if he plays dumb and bumbles around long enough a fool will tip him and hand hold him.
Does he still do that thing at the beginning of every new game where he spends an hour pretending to be confused while "trying out the controls" hoping for someone to tip him an explanation?
 
I don't understand enough of how that game works to be able to argue one way or another, I'm just thinking that alternatives may be more likely than it seems at first glance. It's starting to feel too... easy, I guess, to think that Scopely eats up so much of Phil's money.

Phil is far too self-centered for me to think that that would last very long, regardless of his inability to stand up for himself face-to-face. If Khet hits him up for money, it can't be very much, or be very often.

I'm thinking new furnishings for the Wakhando, a lot of fast food, and more collectibles. There's a reason we don't see the rest of his condo anymore, he maintains the claim of not eating a lot of fast food, and he has demonstrated already that he doesn't learn from a damn thing, let alone eating thousands of dollars on collectibles he tried to use as an investment without doing any real research and knowing when to buy/sell.

What really sinks Phil as far as his financials go, though, is the fact that even his legit bills could be lower if he wasn't such a stupid asshole. The vest streak money probably didn't literally pay off his HOA fees in Connecticut, but after all these years, he has probably paid those folks more than what the vest streak brought it, so in a way, he lost out on all of it before he even got it.
IIRC, he told the court he spends 500 bux a month on clothes. A man who works from home, wears pajama pants, wears children's shirts, and only leaves the house once a week for grocery shopping and dropping off cat shit at the dump.
 
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