Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

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How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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I haven't looked at this thread for a couple weeks, and I really do feel like a happier human being for it.

Bob is such a cesspit of belligerent negativity that spending too long looking at his tweets really does poison your soul. Even the moments when he's supposedly happy feel false. As though he's only trying to convince himself that he's having a good time.
I know what you mean. Bob's pathetic acrimony could be consistently funny if his output were on the same level as the average lolcow. However, the massive volume of garbage he produces on a daily basis is just so overwhelming it ends up sapping any enthusiasm I can have for laughing at him. Bob is literally such a pathetic loser that it's not even funny.
 
In the words of James Rolfe, I'm dead fucking serious.
And I live in Northeastern Brazil. Consoomer faggotry grew exponentially in my region in the last 15 years or so.

As for the latest Star Wars iterations, I only have the account of one of the friends I went with, who also saw the sequel trilogy. He said people were excited throughout The Force Awakens, complete with fairly excited applauses at the end; they later filled the seats for The Last Jedi, but the noise and hype deflated halfway through the movie as more and more bullshit was shown.

He later went to see The Rise of Skywalker and not only the audience did not utter a single peep through the whole movie, the session was less-than-half-empty. And it was the ever-so-popular early evening weekend screening.
Glad to see that sequel trilogy hatred, then apathy transcends borders and cultures.
 
I also get the strong vibe that he was destroyed because he probably thought it was possible to escape to the Mushroom Kingdom if he just knew where in Brooklyn Mario was from. He really goes on about how games allowed him to escape the sadness that is his life in the book. I think that realization broke him.
How old was he when he had this crisis? I have a pretty flighty imagination and subpar social skills. And even a snot-nosed introverted proto-autistic kid like me, really into cartoons and comics? Heck, even I, by like 12, "knew" there was no such thing as the cartoon dimension, or a place where Star Wars was "real", and if there was, by some miracle, I was never going to be able to visit it no matter what "hard" quantumy-science technobabble anyone else could suggest might make it even measurably possible.

I think everyone has that "What if my favorite fictional character is really real?" stage of life, but, I'd assume by the time you're getting old enough to drive, you should really be outgrowing it if not long over it unless you've got underlying mental issues.

Did he at any point, really and truly believe there was a green pipe in NYC that really DID lead to the Mushroom Kingdom? Even for Bob, that feels like a reach.
 
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what the hell is the big blobs problem with Yoshi's Island? Its a great game and almost endlessly replayable due to its movement mechanics and generally fun design. Is it that it made Mario a part of the Mario "universe" ? That no he's not some random plumber from NYC, if so that's literally the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard.
Basically, it broke his sense of disbelief and made him realize that those instruction manuals he autistically read over and over again were not canon.

I also get the strong vibe that he was destroyed because he probably thought it was possible to escape to the Mushroom Kingdom if he just knew where in Brooklyn Mario was from. He really goes on about how games allowed him to escape the sadness that is his life in the book. I think that realization broke him.
The Super Mario Bros. movie invented the concept of Mario and Luigi being from Brooklyn, and Bob somehow took this as canon despite Nintendo not being involved. I have no idea why Bob took this movie so serious, when it was nothing like the games.
 
Just like troons, abortion is science!
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Bob related, kinda. I found this on the fediverse.
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How old was he when he had this crisis? I have a pretty flighty imagination and subpar social skills. And even a snot-nosed introverted proto-autistic kid like me, really into cartoons and comics? Heck, even I, by like 12, "knew" there was no such thing as the cartoon dimension, or a place where Star Wars was "real", and if there was, by some miracle, I was never going to be able to visit it no matter what "hard" quantumy-science technobabble anyone else could suggest might make it even measurably possible.

I think everyone has that "What if my favorite fictional character is really real?" stage of life, but, I'd assume by the time you're getting old enough to drive, you should really be outgrowing it if not long over it unless you've got underlying mental issues.

Did he at any point, really and truly believe there was a green pipe in NYC that really DID lead to the Mushroom Kingdom? Even for Bob, that feels like a reach.
Yoshi's Island was released in October of 1995 and Bob was born in February of 1981, so he was well into the age of 14.

I'm not the type who assumes Bob is this much of an insane lunatic, so I figure that the thing is that Mario has been permanently integrated into his psyche as an emotional fetish or totem; as long as Mario is Good, Bob's life is Good, and if Mario is Not Good, then Bob's life sucks. He spent his childhood making up Mario fanfiction, including a very ugly daughter [picture Mario with Peach's hair and no mustache] and writing down all his ideas and creations into a notebook instead of studying. He probably could understand earlier than that that Mario wasn't 'real', but the real problem is that he always wanted to BE Mario: the princess-rescuing hero who, despite being fat, is never tired, always ready for a fight, will never really lose [thanks to all the lives], and is a beloved figure. Considering how he assumed Mario helped him be 'popular' at school [more likely, he was one of the few kids who had games at the time so he got more attention], he feels validated in his belief.

But yeah, he'd probably also love to actually go to the Mushroom Kingdom and fight an evil King Koopa himself, and save his beloved Princess Toadstool.
 
How old was he when he had this crisis? I have a pretty flighty imagination and subpar social skills. And even a snot-nosed introverted proto-autistic kid like me, really into cartoons and comics? Heck, even I, by like 12, "knew" there was no such thing as the cartoon dimension, or a place where Star Wars was "real", and if there was, by some miracle, I was never going to be able to visit it no matter what "hard" quantumy-science technobabble anyone else could suggest might make it even measurably possible.

I think everyone has that "What if my favorite fictional character is really real?" stage of life, but, I'd assume by the time you're getting old enough to drive, you should really be outgrowing it if not long over it unless you've got underlying mental issues.

Did he at any point, really and truly believe there was a green pipe in NYC that really DID lead to the Mushroom Kingdom? Even for Bob, that feels like a reach.
He was 15 or 16 when he had this breakdown.
The Super Mario Bros. movie invented the concept of Mario and Luigi being from Brooklyn, and Bob somehow took this as canon despite Nintendo not being involved. I have no idea why Bob took this movie so serious, when it was nothing like the games.
I think a few of the instruction manuals had that backstory too. Maybe some random comics as well.

Oh yeah, and for those wondering, here's Bob's terrible take on Mario and Peach having a kid since that got brought up and I want all to share my pain:
bobisonly2stepsawayfromchris-png.1095832
 
Bobby's salvation is to take over your robotic body.

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Robert L. Chipman, world authority on infectious diseases, shares his view about a mysterious entity called "Long Covid".
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(Spring Youth's thread. I don't know what Bobby read from it that led to his conclusion)

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Except medical matters aren't as black-and-white as Bobby imagines. Erring on the side that "long covid" is organic might lead to unnecessary prescription of medicine (say corticosteroids and immunosuppressives) that might have severe or lethal side effects. It will also waste money and encourage malingering.

The Left and the Right in Florida conspire to kill Bob (Archive from Slate.)
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Bobby thinks religious icons is just like Funko Pops.
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Sleep in basement pods and eat bugs!
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Ben Shapiro. I sort of agree with Bobby here, but compare his likes and retweets with Ben's, and you'll see who is the one that "NOBODY wants".
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One Party Rule Number One!
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Sex work. Prostitutes are only ever exploited by the ruling party under Communist regimes:
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Oops! It seems Bobby is the one who doesn't get on with the times!
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Bobby recalls his experience of being "discarded":
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Bobby claims Hong Kong cinema inspired anime, which is probably true.
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Gawking at Sailor Moon:
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Hambeast:
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Angels:
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I wonder what psuedo-philosophy/science/religion/social studies I’m too pea-brained to try to comprehend from Bob when it comes to Sailor Moon of all things?
 
what the hell is the big blobs problem with Yoshi's Island? Its a great game and almost endlessly replayable due to its movement mechanics and generally fun design. Is it that it made Mario a part of the Mario "universe" ? That no he's not some random plumber from NYC, if so that's literally the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard.
Yoshi's Island's premise and ending basically was a huge blow to pretty much all the longstanding Mario canon by way of jetisoning the Donkey Kong/Mario Brothers (the original pre-Super Mario arcade game where you fight crabs and turtles in endless rooms) backstory of the brothers being born in America and that they basically moved to the Mushroom Kingdom full time after getting roped into saving Princess Toadstool in SMB1; which was used as the backstory for the DIC cartoons and other projects from the late 80s/early 90s.

Granted, most fans just took Yoshi's Island as a one-off thing that could be ignored and even Nintendo never really did much to expand upon it and tacitly declared it non-canon due to the way that it was never followed up on. But people like Bob and the cancerous fedora wearing blue bear avatar Dobson basically took it as a huge raping of their childhoods and have never stopped complaining about it.
 
The Super Mario Bros. movie invented the concept of Mario and Luigi being from Brooklyn, and Bob somehow took this as canon despite Nintendo not being involved. I have no idea why Bob took this movie so serious, when it was nothing like the games.
To quote Bob. Again.

That there would one day be a live-action Mario movie had been a dream and an inevitability as long as I could remember. He-Man had a movie. Superman and Batman both had movies. Hell, Teddy Ruxpin had a live-action movie! Great things got movies, Mario was the greatest thing, so Mario would get a movie, and I’d get to see the Mushroom Kingdom looking as grand and astonishing as I’d always imagined it.
I needed it to be good, because I needed Mario to be as big and meaningful a movie franchise as he’d been in gaming. Getting a “The Movie” was forever, it meant that the character and the story mattered beyond being some brief fad. Mario was not a Pet Rock, damn it - he was my friend, the thing that was getting me through the misery of pre-adolescence. I needed him to matter so that the time and energy I’d invested into him mattered.
Mind you, he hated it over time, but right then and there? He NEEDED a good movie to exist because if Mario didn't have a good movie, then Mario wouldn't be worshipped by the drooling masses like he did.
 
If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Marvel realized that she's pretty much the only phase 1 character they have left, now that Iron Man and Captain America are dead, Thor's fucked off to space, and Hulk apparently can't carry a movie on his own, to say nothing of Hawkeye.
The reason Hulk hasn't had a solo movie since 2008's The Incredible Hulk is that Universal still holds the distribution rights for Hulk movies.

As for Hawkeye, he is getting a Disney+ show so that he can be replaced by Kate Bishop.
 
He was 15 or 16 when he had this breakdown.

I think a few of the instruction manuals had that backstory too. Maybe some random comics as well.

Oh yeah, and for those wondering, here's Bob's terrible take on Mario and Peach having a kid since that got brought up and I want all to share my pain:
bobisonly2stepsawayfromchris-png.1095832
It wasn't just the movie; prior to the movie, the Super Mario Bros. Super Show cartoon had Mario and Luigi be from Brooklyn (the live action segments were purported to be in Brooklyn) and have distinct Brooklyn accents. Bob (and Dobson) were both so autistically committed to this idea, that what Yoshi's Island brought to the table resulted in the equivalent of "Sonic does NOT have Blarms" for the both of them.
 
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