Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

That's the problem with all those stories of success and redemption - that's the only thing that gets traction, since people love it, so they assume it's the rule, not exception. Behind each and every of those there are stories of failure and degradation, but since no one wants to listen to them, they are forgotten. Children are not some magical cure to all the people's shortcomings, it's just a very good reason to change.

People love those type of "redemption" stories because they tug at the heart-strings, but if you want to know how it sometimes goes, just crack open any wiki article on a serial killer and read the "early life" section. Parenthood certainly didn't make any of their parents wholesome, and while it's not a typical result, jails and prisons are filled with people who had shitty childhoods as a result of their shitty parents who didn't find parenthood to be a compelling reason to get their shit together and clean up their act.

Point being, if Bam gave enough of a shit to get his act together for the sake of his kid, he would've already done that. Given the type of shit he's done in the presence of his son, I don't think parenthood was or ever will be a compelling enough reason for him to put down the bottle/meth pipe. Generally speaking if people can get their shit together they'll usually do it in their mid-to-late 20s, maybe early 30s. If you've made it to 40 and you're still partying/having schizo rants like Bam does, very seldom is there ever a trajectory out of that lifestyle by that age. Hopefully I'm wrong but I don't see Bam making it to 45 unless he gets his ass in gear soon.
 
People love those type of "redemption" stories because they tug at the heart-strings, but if you want to know how it sometimes goes, just crack open any wiki article on a serial killer and read the "early life" section. Parenthood certainly didn't make any of their parents wholesome, and while it's not a typical result, jails and prisons are filled with people who had shitty childhoods as a result of their shitty parents who didn't find parenthood to be a compelling reason to get their shit together and clean up their act.

Point being, if Bam gave enough of a shit to get his act together for the sake of his kid, he would've already done that. Given the type of shit he's done in the presence of his son, I don't think parenthood was or ever will be a compelling enough reason for him to put down the bottle/meth pipe. Generally speaking if people can get their shit together they'll usually do it in their mid-to-late 20s, maybe early 30s. If you've made it to 40 and you're still partying/having schizo rants like Bam does, very seldom is there ever a trajectory out of that lifestyle by that age. Hopefully I'm wrong but I don't see Bam making it to 45 unless he gets his ass in gear soon.
saying out loud in that last video that his son's cries drive him blindly insane was pretty fucked up. he should have kept that inside
 
saying out loud in that last video that his son's cries drive him blindly insane was pretty fucked up. he should have kept that inside
Well I think that’s closer to reality than the occasional “Phoenix is my whole world” BS he does on camera. I’m sure he mostly resents Phoenix and scares him with his temper and outbursts.

A kid is only good as an ego extension for Bam. Bam is far too much of an immature asshole to be a decent father.

He also complains about Phoenix interfering with his ability to randomly fuck his wife whenever he finally gets it up and has made him a “3 pump chump”. Gross.

Best thing for Phoenix is for Bam to stay far away. I wish the grandparents had custody of him or Bam’s brother.
 
Knoxville and Tremaine have been saints towards Bam. Any other producer in Hollywood would have never given Bam the time of day. Who the fuck would give Bam a chance to participate in a film today? He’s an out of control addict, he’s fat, he’s gross, very mentally unstable, just a giant liability to any film. All risk, zero upside. In Bam’s head he’s a vital star, but in reality no one gives a shit if he’s in the movie or not.
It's like the phrase Novak keeps repeating in his addiction diaries, "I thought I was a vital asset, but I was not and the world kept going on just fine without me"
 
He posted that IG TV video about how much Phoenix’s crying annoyed him. A few posts later, he has posts up with his son? Did someone regain control of his account?

also the trolling in the comments of these posts give me life. The vast majority of them are shitting on him or telling him he needs help. There’s a silent minority defending him.
 
He posted that IG TV video about how much Phoenix’s crying annoyed him. A few posts later, he has posts up with his son? Did someone regain control of his account?

also the trolling in the comments of these posts give me life. The vast majority of them are shitting on him or telling him he needs help. There’s a silent minority defending him.
Looks like his wife is playing IG janny again. Whenever he loses control of the IG the family photos and photos of Bam circa 2003 get posted.

I figure since he’s supposedly in rehab we won’t get much milk unless he decides to ditch rehab for the 78th time and get back on IG proclaiming what bullshit it was and he’s totally sober without it!

God that “family jams” photo, something is wrong with that poor kid. I kept hoping the facial stuff was just weird genetic mix, but something is def off. His mouth is fucked up and his eyes are spaced way too wide.
(I’ve never said I thought any kid online had FAS, but that ended today. Phoenix ticks every fucking box for it. I wonder if the mom didn’t notice she was pregnant until four or five months along. She certainly was a heavy drinker in the years before the kid was born.)
 
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Looks like his wife is playing IG janny again. Whenever he loses control of the IG the family photos and photos of Bam circa 2003 get posted.

I figure since he’s supposedly in rehab we won’t get much milk unless he decides to ditch rehab for the 78th time and get back on IG proclaiming what bullshit it was and he’s totally sober without it!

God that “family jams” photo, something is wrong with that poor kid. I kept hoping the facial stuff was just weird genetic mix, but something is def off. His mouth is fucked up and his eyes are spaced way too wide.

Any kid who has to navigate a maze of pussy rings in the tackle box he's living in is going to come out a big gnarly.
 
Any kid who has to navigate a maze of pussy rings in the tackle box he's living in is going to come out a big gnarly.
No, kidding. Apparently Nicole’s main job before marrying Bam was stripper and performing in some haunted house attraction. So he basically married a dumb trashy groupie while his career was circling the drain.

Phoenix definitely looks like his mother. She has some weird facial features I can see in him, but there’s something wrong with the boy. Poor kid can’t catch a break.
 
He's probably the richest crackhead besides the late Toronto Mayor, Rob Ford
Guess they are letting him access his phone in rehab. Wonder how much this Florida rehab is costing him? I honestly believe he has to be broke, or his parents are now funding his life. Bam made a fuckload of money, but his salad days ended 15 years ago and since then he has burned through so much money on drugs, rehab and terrible decisions it’s unreal. He really should take this rehab seriously because I don’t see many more cushy rehab stays in his future.

Nice of him to shit on his wife again and claim she failed kindergarten and can’t do simple addition. I guess she’s said she wouldn’t smuggle adderall and Vicodin into the rehab for him.
 
Novak fucking blew a guy on stage in Australia during the Fuckface Unstoppable tour
I want to find the video but it’s Bam watching Novak cleaned up and discussing his rehab programs on national television and Bam is just like pfft, that’s not Novak that’s somebody else. The real Novak is a lot cooler. Something along those lines
 
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He also looks like former Element Europe teamrider Jacopo: 1, 2, 3, 4
Shit, that is an uncanny resemblance. Especially when you look at pics of him smiling.

A quick scroll through Nikki’s Instagram pulls up a wedding photo of her parents: both brunettes. We know that Phil was brunette and April blonde, While hereditary hair coloring isn’t 100% understood, it seems to be the general/popular belief that in order for two brunette parents to produce a blonde child, they must both carry a recessive gene for blondeness. That means that both the brunette parents would have to have one blonde parent to pass on the gene, making the odds of pumping out a blonde baby around one in four. Nikki has no blonde parents, so those odds would be much, much lower. On the other hand, one blonde parent and one brunette parent has 50/50 odds of producing a blonde child. TL;DR Bam’s wife probably got dicked down elsewhere when she got pregnant.
 
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