Cultcow Russell Greer / Mr. Green / @ just_some_dude_named_russell29 / A Safer Nevada PAC - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Convicted of E-Stalking, "Eggshell Skull Plaintiff" Pro Se Litigant, Homeless, aspiring brothel owner

[WhaleOilBeefHooked]

I haven't been able to properly catch up with all the pages of Russel's adventures, might I ask if he already chimp out about Yovanna not getting back to him?

Not yet, but he did make her a poster asking her to come to Vegas to have dinner with him, like the sign he made for Taylor.

I’m starting to wonder if what we keep thinking is a greasy camera lens is from him adjusting the focus because he needs new glasses.
Who needs to see? New glasses would cut into his hooker funds.

I think it's because he takes so many selfies while mouth breathing all over the lens and never bothers to wipe it off. He won't even wash his hair, why would he think to wipe the screen?

 

[Spez]

His face gives me big Nemesis vibes, especially with his fucked lips

 

[The Dude]

Nah, phone cameras have an automatic focus and Pipsqueak is far to lazy to mess with that. He just oozes grease. His fingers have been all over the view finder bit, whatever it's called and he doesn't seem to understand the concept of cleaning things on a regular basis.

The fact that Russ is so terrible at keeping things clean is pretty ironic since the only jobs he's been able to obtain for several years (and likely will be the only kind of job he'll be able to get for the rest of his life) are janitorial and housekeeping jobs. You'd think scrubbing shitty toilets and cleaning up puke from drunk gamblers would teach Russhole to keep his own stuff clean.

 

[badboy2000]

I remember he had his phone serviced a year or two ago because the ports didn't work. Turned out they were just filled with gunk. Go figure.

 

[The Dude]

I remember he had his phone serviced a year or two ago because the ports didn't work. Turned out they were just filled with gunk. Go figure.

Which is disgusting to think about. Aside from some easily removed pocket lint, I've never had any of the ports or jacks in any of my phones get filled with anything. I've only ever known one person who that happened to, and it happened because they were a lazy, filthy person with mental issues. Given that Russhole has a constant coating of oily nastiness on his skin, it doesn't take a lot of imagination to figure how Pipsqueak's phone got all gunked up.

 

[AbraCadaver]

"Greer's, uh...music is uh...so CATCHY!" --Dusty Gazongas, Freelance Dancer and Municipal Utility Worker

"YES!" --Anthropomorphized Pipe Wrench from the Fifth Dimension

"Welp...Greer's book was so good, he just got LAID. INTERNATIONALLY!" --Mister S., Anomalous Citizen

"I can't wait to read Greer's book and start bangin' broads...TONITE!" --Carl, Next Door Neighbor

"Mr. Greer won first prize...for getting HIS DICK RIPPED OFF!" --Mr. Wong, Restauranteur

“I missed my chance. My life is less better because of it.” - T. Swift, Ungrateful Hollywood Harlot

“I should have kept the scrapbook!” - A. Grande, Professional Suit Hater

“They were the coolest DMs I’ve ever received. My knickers are soaked.” -Various Instagram Temptresses

“I am hereby ordering my daughter to submit to this great man’s advances and penis.” - G. Skordas, Based

 

[CWCissey]

“I missed my chance. My life is less better because of it.” - T. Swift, Ungrateful Hollywood Harlot

“I should have kept the scrapbook!” - A. Grande, Professional Suit Hater

“They were the coolest DMs I’ve ever received. My knickers are soaked.” -Various Instagram Temptresses

“I am hereby ordering my daughter to submit to this great man’s advances and penis.” - G. Skordas, Based

This minstrel is simply astonishing! I heart-OH NOETH! NOT ANOTHER ANGRY UPRISING OF OAFS!-J. Smith

 

[Meredith Swift]

The fact that Russ is so terrible at keeping things clean is pretty ironic since the only jobs he's been able to obtain for several years (and likely will be the only kind of job he'll be able to get for the rest of his life) are janitorial and housekeeping jobs. You'd think scrubbing shitty toilets and cleaning up puke from drunk gamblers would teach Russhole to keep his own stuff clean.

No one likes doing work stuff in their free time, Russ included I guess.

 

[DrJonesHat]

The stars are right! Greer is the harbinger of the apocalypse! --H.P. Lovecraft, author
AGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! How the hell did you get into my house?! --Erika L., Former Greer Fan

 

[Cilleystring]

"Russell's music is neither invasive nor troubling, and his words helped me get through my cancer treatment" - Andrea Swift

"The man looks great in a suit" - Robin Givhan

"Mr. Greer is an inspiration to us. His words have shown us there are many things far worse than war, and helped us through our PTSD" - US Veterans Association

"Finally, someone that can read sheet music!" - Pat Metheny

"Russell's kind words showed me it is alright to let my Gard down" - Constance Yates, mother of Charlie Gard

"Mark my words, this man is going to be the next Rob Thomas" - Rob Thomas, Matchbox 20

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

On this addition of Celebrity Soup, we're serving up a hot dish of plights!

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"My daughter is ONLY THREE, and Greer's book on why he's making it legal for a complete stranger to get in bed with my daughter for 500 bucks is THE ONLY book I can get her to read!" --Maud Finley, professional MAWM

"He drooled all over my book--SEE?" --Judith Nesbaum, licensed Speech and Therapy Pathologist

Some people are asking Greer for autographs in the most...PRECARIOUS PLACES!! (cuts to Mr. Greg Skordas Esq. Cheesin' with copies of restraining orders filed by a Ms. Erica Albino and a Mr. Joshua Conner Moon.)

"Mr. Greer's awesome evidence and harrowing plights takes you completely out of your element!" --President Joe Biden, Actual legitimate President of the Beknighted States

Has Pipsqueak ever simped for GloGlo? Based on how he follows every Instathot out there she'd be right up his alley.

 

[CWCissey]

Has Pipsqueak ever simped for GloGlo? Based on how he follows every Instathot out there she'd be right up his alley.

No, which is tragic as we could have had a cow crossover for the ages when she was in Vegas recently!

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

No, which is tragic as we could have had a cow crossover for the ages when she was in Vegas recently!

That's a shame. She could have helped him with his musical career with all her connections and music videos she did.

 

[DrJonesHat]

Has Pipsqueak ever simped for GloGlo? Based on how he follows every Instathot out there she'd be right up his alley.

He probably hasn't encountered her. Given that she's a professional grifter, she's probably used to thirsty desperate men coming after her. She'd realize he has nothing worth taking, and just ignore him. Since she seems to go after rich guys who do their thinking with their dicks, he's not in her target profile. He's a poor guy who does his thinking with his dick, so maybe some tweaker stripper/hooker will leech off him for a bit.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

He probably hasn't encountered her. Given that she's a professional grifter, she's probably used to thirsty desperate men coming after her. She'd realize he has nothing worth taking, and just ignore him. Since she seems to go after rich guys who do their thinking with their dicks, he's not in her target profile. He's a poor guy who does his thinking with his dick, so maybe some tweaker stripper/hooker will leech off him for a bit.

Well that's about his speed. Some tweaked out meth whore or stripper who's totally his girlfriend but won't let him do anything to her because her heart is not ready yet and just needs a couple days to crash there while inviting chads over to his place to party with her.

 

[Constellationzero]

"Failure to Prepare is the Preparation to FAIL...if you don't read Greer's book!" --King Abbadon of Maradoniaaaaaaaa, Maradoniaaaaaaa!

"Look, Joey--Plights!" --Maya, random horseface hooker

"Taste Greer's Poooowwwwwaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhsss!" --Gertrude, Professional Fairy Faggot

 

[Henry Bemis]

Has Pipsqueak ever simped for GloGlo? Based on how he follows every Instathot out there she'd be right up his alley.

Goldilocks is rockin' cute!
Let's get down to knockin' boots!

– Russell's newest, "Yo, Yo, GloGlo!"

 

[DrJonesHat]

Well that's about his speed. Some tweaked out meth whore or stripper who's totally his girlfriend but won't let him do anything to her because her heart is not ready yet and just needs a couple days to crash there while inviting chads over to his place to party with her.

I'd fear for her safety. If Russ was letting her crash there, he'd feel he was owed sex on demand. And if she declined, I don't think it's a stretch to imagine he might try to force himself on her. If she brought a chad over, he'd wilt, but if they were alone, he might try it. Sure she could probably fight him off, but that wouldn't stop him from trying. This is a guy who thinks it should be illegal to say no to him, and women being raped can just close their eyes. He'd feel totally justified because he was putting her up, and she better put out or he'll get mad.

 

[The Great Citracett]

 

[Blasterisk]

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Russ hyped for those stale big-bagged store-brand cereals. Enjoy your Super Excellent Toasted Cinnamon Crunchables(tm), Russ.