Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[Jack Awful]

So Bam goes to Rock Star rehab for four days and then Reddit busts his ass.

The only way he might ever get clean is if he's facing jail time & can get a slap on the wrist by completing rehab and then having to go thru drug court. But he couldn't even do the film studio's drug court for Jackass 4 so yeah.

Bam's never gonna get clean, he will die of an OD in the next 5 maybe 10 years.

 

[Maxxicus Callahan]

Bam's never gonna get clean, he will die of an OD in the next 5 maybe 10 years.

Makes me think of the lyrics from Ziggy Stardust, “like a leper messiah, Ziggy got sucked up into his mind.” I don’t think his ego will let him get clean unless he thinks it will grant him new fame and glory, currently the fame he enjoys is all built into getting trashed and making a scene which is entertaining for people who enjoy watching train wrecks but a double edged sword for Bam who is afraid of losing the limelight and compromising his identity for a graceful transition to an adult living situation with his family.

All of the people who have accepted treatment and stuck with it have to have some humility and love for themselves. I like when Bam was doing paintings in rehab he has talent when he puts his hand to constructive outlets and could be doing so much more for young people who want to be pro skaters.

Edit: But I don’t think he will accept treatment or humble himself to do so without a serious intervention like what happened when Steve-O almost try to jump out of his building window.

Edit: Has Bam ever attempted suicide? I know he talks about it and self harms but I think that’s what triggered Steve-O to get clean. It’s why safe injection sites have mirrors for junkies, if they nearly OD and are revived they are confronted with the mirror image every time they shoot up and they might think of the fact that they almost died the last time they saw that reflection of themselves. It might make some people scared enough to accept treatment after that kind of near death experience.

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

So Bam goes to Rock Star rehab for four days and then Reddit busts his ass.

The only way he might ever get clean is if he's facing jail time & can get a slap on the wrist by completing rehab and then having to go thru drug court. But he couldn't even do the film studio's drug court for Jackass 4 so yeah.

Here's the Redditor's longer recap she made an hour ago. I believe her because her account has been active for 2 years.
View attachment 2210099

Congratulations Bam, you're now an honorary Florida Man.

 

[Yeeted Teet]

I missed it and don't have a screenshot, but all the comments on Bam's most recent IG post are saying he called someone a nigger in a reply to a comment and quickly deleted it. It seems the wife doesn't have control of his accounts anymore.

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

I missed it and don't have a screenshot, but all the comments on Bam's most recent IG post are saying he called someone a nigger in a reply to a comment and quickly deleted it. It seems the wife doesn't have control of his accounts anymore.

Pretty rich, being that Bam has been acting like a nigger for the past 10 years.

 

[Dan Abrams]

I missed it and don't have a screenshot, but all the comments on Bam's most recent IG post are saying he called someone a nigger in a reply to a comment and quickly deleted it. It seems the wife doesn't have control of his accounts anymore.

See:

This is supposedly something Bam posted last night and deleted after a few minutes, not sure what the fuck he might be talking about here since he's batshit but here you go:

View attachment 2208002

People have inferred that it seems to indicate Bam has some form of "dirt" on Johnny Knoxville, who was supposedly the recipient of this tirade, but I'm not sure what to make of it. If I'm late and gay give me clocks.

The N word spiral begins. Bam will be dead within a month.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

If he wanted to keep living each day like an episode of Viva La Bam, why was he so eager to abruptly finish it?

 

[Lucas Silva #4903141]

Edit: Has Bam ever attempted suicide? I know he talks about it and self harms but I think that’s what triggered Steve-O to get clean. It’s why safe injection sites have mirrors for junkies, if they nearly OD and are revived they are confronted with the mirror image every time they shoot up and they might think of the fact that they almost died the last time they saw that reflection of themselves. It might make some people scared enough to accept treatment after that kind of near death experience.

Not as far as I know.
He did do some risky shit while skateboarding, but even then, I feel like labelling him as a "daredevil" is a bit much. He got injured, scraped his face, but I don't think he had some kind of death wish. For comparison, Steve-O was fucking insane during his low point, and what got Johnny Knoxville and others to intervene was when he came up with a stunt that sounded suicidal.

 

[Yeeted Teet]

Not as far as I know.
He did do some risky shit while skateboarding, but even then, I feel like labelling him as a "daredevil" is a bit much. He got injured, scraped his face, but I don't think he had some kind of death wish. For comparison, Steve-O was fucking insane during his low point, and what got Johnny Knoxville and others to intervene was when he came up with a stunt that sounded suicidal.

From what I remember, Steve O said something about a stunt where he jumped off a building and if they didn't bring a crew eith something to break his fall, he was going to jump anyway. That was enough to have him put on a psych hold and he went to rehab from there.

 

[Snack Cracker]

Tbh I think Bam is too much of a narcissist to ever commit suicide.
Using it as a threat? Absolutely. Doing it? No.
But because he’s a narcissist he’s going to be more reckless with what he does, and he’s self imploding right now. An overdose etc seems incredibly likely.
And I always love a new skitzocow but I never thought I’d see Bam become one. It’s a bizarre twist. He’s going full Werner with his new favorite word.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

Bam always struck me as a guy who was too immature to actually do any serious stunts himself, instead just egg people on and kick the shit out of other people. That bit at the end of the Brandon Novak video posted recently just showed how needlessly hurtful the guy was, referring to a friend of his as a "complete no hoper".

No shit once his playthings decided to wise up and get clean / grow up he was going to spiral. I was under the impression he'd just be sad and bitter and lonely, but straight up never growing up and allowing random people to crash at his house so he gets to pretend to be popular is just insanely sad.

I mean for the sake of sheer drama this is hilarious and I hope it keeps up, especially considering he was very clearly a horrible person to begin with. I do think 2021 is going to be the last year we see Bam alive though.

 

[Tootsie Bear]

Bam always struck me as a guy who was too immature to actually do any serious stunts himself, instead just egg people on and kick the shit out of other people. That bit at the end of the Brandon Novak video posted recently just showed how needlessly hurtful the guy was, referring to a friend of his as a "complete no hoper".

No shit once his playthings decided to wise up and get clean / grow up he was going to spiral. I was under the impression he'd just be sad and bitter and lonely, but straight up never growing up and allowing random people to crash at his house so he gets to pretend to be popular is just insanely sad.

I mean for the sake of sheer drama this is hilarious and I hope it keeps up, especially considering he was very clearly a horrible person to begin with. I do think 2021 is going to be the last year we see Bam alive though.

Bam was lucky he had both a crew of guys to help him with stunts and family who supported him along the way. If he was on his own it would be mainly him hitting his father over and over until people stopped thinking it was funny and sad that this is all the talent Bam had to show off.

 

[ErbiumOpium]

It’s really sad because I’m pretty sure Phoenix (who is a cute sweet kid it seems like) has fetal alcohol syndrome. What a family to be born into

 

[Ultrapenguin]

I think the only way someone like Margera is going to get clean is if he completely runs out of money, and chances are he'll be dead before that happens.

But really even if he was broke another issue is that he has major name recognition. Just like that chick posting on Reddit, there are still tons of people who knew MTV back in the day who are going to see him and be like "Oh shit come party with us, man!" just to say they hung out with Bam Margera; he's got cash, he's got yes men willing to stroke his ego and ply him with booze and drugs...if we're being honest, what reason does he even have to try to quit?

Yes, I know any normal person would believe his failing health and the fact he's on a fast track to the grave would be a good reason, but once you've seen enough people in the end stages of cirrhosis of the liver still chugging whiskey like water or folks holding a finger over their tracheostomy holes while they chain smoke or impoverished Russians with flesh that's necrotized down to the bone shooting krokodil, you realize dying isn't generally an object when it comes to addiction.
For an addict to give a shit about dying and thus develop an intrinsic drive to clean up they actually need to have some reason to be alive; Margera doesn't have any, he doesn't have any rewarding or successful pursuits and he's too self centered to be especially concerned about the effect his dying will have on his family.

Even at his age all that would be able to change, but again, without anything forcing him to divert from the path of least resistance he has no reason to do differently. So yeah, barring something major like a long stint in jail he's almost certainly going to be kicking the bucket sooner rather than later. It sucks, but that's how life works; you can't save people from themselves.

 

[Bowl of Ramen]

This thread could really use a soundtrack. Just put Bam crying on repeat.

 

[The Un-Clit]

Well everyone aged well compared to Bam. Knoxville still looks old af.
The one who actually aged well is Pontius. Dude literally looks like he did 15 years ago.

Jesus FISH! Umaga absolutely fucked Steve-o's shit up for reals! Both of em really, but it was Steve-o who wouldn't keep kayfabe and kept sitting up and rolling around. I had never seen that before, had NO idea the wildboyz were on WWE TV. They even made Vince happy with their work! Thanks for posting, fam.

It's just a shame they didn't get partnered with someone not so stiff, like Mick Foley maybe who would not have given Steve-o a legit elbow/forearm shot to the side of the head. I've taken one of those in a fight, and it not only fuckin hurts, it really does knock you goofy for a while. Nasty ass move from Umaga. But trust Pontius and Steve-o to just laugh about it after, like Jonny Knoxville after getting K.O.ed by Butterbean. Those guys and the Dudesons have just no fear of pain or injury.

 

[Barbarus]

If he wanted to keep living each day like an episode of Viva La Bam, why was he so eager to abruptly finish it?

What else is he going to do next?

 

[Bowl of Ramen]

Jesus FISH! Umaga absolutely fucked Steve-o's shit up for reals! Both of em really, but it was Steve-o who wouldn't keep kayfabe and kept sitting up and rolling around. I had never seen that before, had NO idea the wildboyz were on WWE TV. They even made Vince happy with their work! Thanks for posting, fam.

It's just a shame they didn't get partnered with someone not so stiff, like Mick Foley maybe who would not have given Steve-o a legit elbow/forearm shot to the side of the head. I've taken one of those in a fight, and it not only fuckin hurts, it really does knock you goofy for a while. Nasty ass move from Umaga. But trust Pontius and Steve-o to just laugh about it after, like Jonny Knoxville after getting K.O.ed by Butterbean. Those guys and the Dudesons have just no fear of pain or injury.

“Is Butterbean okay?” Greatest line uttered in the show’s history.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

What else is he going to do next?

that reminds me. The last episode of VLB was about that stupid Russian Mail Order bride that Bam obsessed over for Raab.

Before Novak appeared on VLB, it seemed Raab was the “slave” of the group.

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

What else is he going to do next?

"Whatever the fuck I want!"