Cultcow EvaXephon / Yanderedev / Alex Mahan / Alexander Stuart Mahan / cannotgoogleme - Edgy weeaboo coomer with pedo tendencies and 15+ years internet history as a lolcow, now known as a disaster developer behind eternal debug build called "Yandere Simulator", confirmed groomer and dollfucker

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Its been some years since I checked up on whether or not the project is still alive and dont remember a Mike Z.

Are you so new to Alex and his lore?

 

[R34N1M470R]

..."Its been some years since I checked up on whether or not the project is still alive and dont remember a Mike Z..."

Well, back then you had WAY less bullshit to go through and you didn't even know about that? That's what started this whole thing pretty much. YS is just a "flex" to show Mike Z how "good" of a "programmer" Alex is.

If what you mean is that you literally just checked up on whether or not the project is still alive... What the fuck do you expect? Do you really think that you would know everything regarding Alex by not doing any research on it? Are you that fucking stupid?

 

[Catgirls are Love]

A followup on the Patreon statistics following Alex's latest blogpost from the start of the month:

Safe to say that reception by paypigs was not enthusiastic. Here's a few snippets from the comments in the blogpost that made me chuckle or shake my head.

Spoiler: Snips

In other words, "I'm lazy".

At first I was writing something snarky about spaghetti code, then I did a quick search and found tutorial after tutorial on how to do exactly what Alex says he doesn't know how to do. "I'm lazy", again.

Sounds like "I've done no work on this and don't plan to".

You heard it from Alex; voyeurism is a trivial thing that nobody should be offended by. Maybe we should stop charging people with misdemeanors/felonies for it?

I always like to meet an optimist.

See you all at the release of the update some time next year.

 

[The Marauder]

At first I was writing something snarky about spaghetti code, then I did a quick search and found tutorial after tutorial on how to do exactly what Alex says he doesn't know how to do. "I'm lazy", again.

What the fuck is he talking about? Does he think making character models fade is achieved with a top secret cheat code that only AAA devs know? This is the stupidest fucking thing he’s ever said about game development.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

What the fuck is he talking about? Does he think making character models fade is achieved with a top secret cheat code that only AAA devs know? This is the stupidest fucking thing he’s ever said about game development.

Jesus christ, that's literally one component on the gameobject, a few properties, and maybe a shader if you wanted to get fancy with how they fade out. I don't blame him for not having done so yet, because its such a simple little polish thing that its really not a big issue to do at any stage, but thinking he can't do it is just an incredible level of ignorance. This is the sort of thing that a first-year hobby gamedev could figure out in 15 minutes on stack overflow, and implement in another 15.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Safe to say that reception by paypigs was not enthusiastic. Here's a few snippets from the comments in the blogpost that made me chuckle or shake my head.

Yep, I've made this snip at the beginning of the month. It's safe to say that he's dived under 2k for good.

What the fuck is he talking about? Does he think making character models fade is achieved with a top secret cheat code that only AAA devs know? This is the stupidest fucking thing he’s ever said about game development.

Jesus christ, that's literally one component on the gameobject, a few properties, and maybe a shader if you wanted to get fancy with how they fade out. I don't blame him for not having done so yet, because its such a simple little polish thing that its really not a big issue to do at any stage, but thinking he can't do it is just an incredible level of ignorance. This is the sort of thing that a first-year hobby gamedev could figure out in 15 minutes on stack overflow, and implement in another 15.

Look, I know it's old stuff, but still WHY THE FUCK HE WASTES HIS TIME ON THIS STUPID SHIT? He literally sperged multiple times that replying to this shit and emails takes away too much time from the development, yet he keeps doing this. And then the game has fuck all to offer again, yet he is too dense to realize why. In fact, you know what Alex's first video with custom artwork and voiced Midori was? One about school atmosphere? One about kidnapping?

Nope, the demo-version of his "Stop sending me emails" cringe!

In fact, his bitching and excuses were so massive, that he had to split it in two, since YT couldn't handle anything longer than 10 minutes in 2015.

He literally says "I've spent 4 days at Anime Con, then 9 days sorting emails, I've had 1 day left, SO I DECIDED TO MAKE A VIDEO ABOUT HOW I DON'T HAVE TIME TO FIX BUGS". What a fucking tosser.

 

[The Marauder]

Nope, the demo-version of his "Stop sending me emails" cringe!

In fact, his bitching and excuses were so massive, that he had to split it in two, since YT couldn't handle anything longer than 10 minutes in 2015.

He literally says "I've spent 4 days at Anime Con, then 9 days sorting emails, I've had 1 day left, SO I DECIDED TO MAKE A VIDEO ABOUT HOW I DON'T HAVE TIME TO FIX BUGS". What a fucking tosser.

Oh my god, he unlisted them.
He also disabled ratings on his latest video.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

He also disabled ratings on his latest video.

I don't have a screenshot, but the last time I checked it was 30k of likes vs 10k of dislikes. Comments weren't too cheerful either.

EDIT: Funny, how in that old ass video he says "If it will become obvious that my involvement with the game drives it into the ground, I will gladly pass the leadership to someone more fitting, because I want the game to succeed". Gives me flashbacks of his "I will rather cancel this game than make any money on it" post.

 

[hateful entity]

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Welp, here we go - new blogpost.

The Last Build of Yandere Simulator that Only Contains One Rival (archive)

TL;DR

• "This is the final build of Yandere Simulator that only contains 1 rival. The next build of the game will have 10 rivals." i.e. Alex is going to half-ass the rest of the rivals somehow.
• It's not Custom mode or Endless mode.
• He doesn't know how long it will take till the next update, "Two months? Three? I’d rather not tell you my estimate"
• "I want the “10 rivals” feature to be a surprise, so releasing regular updates/previews is not an option this time." - how the hell it's gonna be a surprise after that.
• "I’d like to reassure my most important supporters that I’m still working on the game, while keeping spoilers and surprises away from the general public." i.e. if you're not giving him cash - you're not important enough.
• "If I do decide to start posting exclusive sneak previews of upcoming content on my Patreon page, these updates would probably only be available to certain Patreon tiers. Currently, the only tiers are $1, $3, and $100. A new tier would probably need to be created that is higher than $3, but much lower than $100." - yep, he's noticed that Patreon is under 2k.
• "The people who donate to me on Patreon probably don’t want to see me get screwed over, so they probably wouldn’t leak my posts." - yeah, just like rivals weren't leaked.
• "I’m considering the idea of bringing back the Trello checklist that I used to keep people updated while I was working on Osana." - same shit, different ass.
• "Anyway, the bottom line is that today’s build is probably going to be the last build for a while. " - well, at least here he is honest.
• Artwork by some OMGayano, who has "I've wasted 7 years of your time, so what?" linked on her instagram.
• Alex added crafting system, which finally turns this game into proper Early Access trash.
• Ton of bugfixes, because this is how games, that are almost ready for release usually look like.
• "The 2nd-place winner of the MediBang art contest is now present in the game, represented by a cute plushie doll found in the Sewing Room!" - yeah, congratulations, your input is barely visible Easter Egg.
• The prize for the 1st place winner has not been completed yet. (The plushie shelf is now getting quite crowded, and will probably need to be re-modelled before further plushies can be added…) - so even more delay,
• He posted new interview, but for some reason he claims, that he didn't give one since 2017. So the one with that Cameron simp doesn't count? Oof!

I'm not watching this, since there is no way it has any unwanted questions or just confrontations. Alex would never give an interview in an environment that he can't control.

• "If there is a critical game-breaking bug in this build, I’ll silently release a new build without making a blog post about it, and post the changelog here at the bottom of this blog post." - guess Alex has given up on pretending that he is working on the game.
• "Outside of that exact circumstance, this is the last time I’ll release a build that contains less than 10 rivals." - clearly, message for his remaining simps, so they could tell this in every comment section.
• " I’m not certain how many blog posts I’ll make between now and the release of 10 rivals, but I’ll definitely post an update if there is something noteworthy I need to communicate." - he's just told that he isn't even going to post bugfixes on his blog and now it's "I'm not certain", what a buffoon.

TL;DR of TL;DR Alex thinks that he will put all 10 rivals in the next update, but when it's gonna be he doesn't know. The last time I've seen him like this was before Osana got finally shat out.

 

[Czolg]

Welp, here we go - new blogpost.

The Last Build of Yandere Simulator that Only Contains One Rival (archive)

TL;DR

• "This is the final build of Yandere Simulator that only contains 1 rival. The next build of the game will have 10 rivals." i.e. Alex is going to half-ass the rest of the rivals somehow.
• It's not Custom mode or Endless mode.
• He doesn't know how long it will take till the next update, "Two months? Three? I’d rather not tell you my estimate"
• "I want the “10 rivals” feature to be a surprise, so releasing regular updates/previews is not an option this time." - how the hell it's gonna be a surprise after that.
• "I’d like to reassure my most important supporters that I’m still working on the game, while keeping spoilers and surprises away from the general public." i.e. if you're not giving him cash - you're not important enough.
• "If I do decide to start posting exclusive sneak previews of upcoming content on my Patreon page, these updates would probably only be available to certain Patreon tiers. Currently, the only tiers are $1, $3, and $100. A new tier would probably need to be created that is higher than $3, but much lower than $100." - yep, he's noticed that Patreon is under 2k.
• "The people who donate to me on Patreon probably don’t want to see me get screwed over, so they probably wouldn’t leak my posts." - yeah, just like rivals weren't leaked.
• "I’m considering the idea of bringing back the Trello checklist that I used to keep people updated while I was working on Osana." - same shit, different ass.
• "Anyway, the bottom line is that today’s build is probably going to be the last build for a while. " - well, at least here he is honest.
• Artwork by some OMGayano, who has "I've wasted 7 years of your time, so what?" linked on her instagram.
• Alex added crafting system, which finally turns this game into proper Early Access trash.
• Ton of bugfixes, because this is how games, that are almost ready for release usually look like.
• "The 2nd-place winner of the MediBang art contest is now present in the game, represented by a cute plushie doll found in the Sewing Room!" - yeah, congratulations, your input is barely visible Easter Egg.
• The prize for the 1st place winner has not been completed yet. (The plushie shelf is now getting quite crowded, and will probably need to be re-modelled before further plushies can be added…) - so even more delay,
• He posted new interview, but for some reason he claims, that he didn't give one since 2017. So the one with that Cameron simp doesn't count? Oof!

I'm not watching this, since there is no way it has any unwanted questions or just confrontations. Alex would never give an interview in an environment that he can't control.

• "If there is a critical game-breaking bug in this build, I’ll silently release a new build without making a blog post about it, and post the changelog here at the bottom of this blog post." - guess Alex has given up on pretending that he is working on the game.
• "Outside of that exact circumstance, this is the last time I’ll release a build that contains less than 10 rivals." - clearly, message for his remaining simps, so they could tell this in every comment section.
• " I’m not certain how many blog posts I’ll make between now and the release of 10 rivals, but I’ll definitely post an update if there is something noteworthy I need to communicate." - he's just told that he isn't even going to post bugfixes on his blog and now it's "I'm not certain", what a buffoon.

TL;DR of TL;DR Alex thinks that he will put all 10 rivals in the next update, but when it's gonna be he doesn't know. The last time I've seen him like this was before Osana got finally shat out.

Is this the point when he takes money and runs, never to be seen again (under YandereDev nickname at least)?

 

[AssignedEva]

TL;DR of TL;DR Alex thinks that he will put all 10 rivals in the next update, but when it's gonna be he doesn't know. The last time I've seen him like this was before Osana got finally shat out.

I refer you to this comment from last July.

I see multiple potential timelines.

Yandere Simulator is released in 2021

If the crowdfunding campaign fails, I wouldn't be able to do much with the rest of the game. I would put effort into making each rival feel as unique as possible, but the game would lack voice acting past Osana, and would never get any new animations or character models. The game would release sometime next year.

Yandere Simulator is released in 2022

The crowdfunding campaign is a success, or I hand over development of Yandere Sim to a company. In either circumstance, I would no longer be Yandere Simulator's lead programmer, and would only contribute as a creative director / consultant while a team of professionals finishes the game. After a couple of years, the best possible version of Yandere Sim would be released.

It depends on the success of the crowdfunding campaign, which will directly be affected by people creating false narratives about me. In other words, depends on factors that are outside of my control.

So I'd assume the other 9 rivals will literally be shat out, on the basis that Gremlins ruined his crowdfunding attempts.
Also here's some entertaining sperging about dates from 2017 - Yandere Simulator apparently has to be set the year after its release, which means he has to change the gameplay's entire flow to accommodate what day of the week April starts on.

 

[Jah Hates Kaffirs]

So, no crowdfunding?

 

[Catgirls are Love]

So, no crowdfunding?

If there is to be crowdfunding at this point, I assume it'll be after the remaining rivals are rushed out (as in, they have models that walk around but there's no voicework, minimal dialogue, no cutscenes, nothing particularly unique about them; they're just another NPC thrown into the environment with all sorts of strange bugs) after which Alex can say "Look at them compared to Osana; give me money and I can do all the things I did with Osana!"

 

[Diesel Boogaloo]

• Alex added crafting system, which finally turns this game into proper Early Access trash.

All it now needs is zombies, hunger meter, and janky multiplayer.
Anyone speculating what the 10 rival build will look like? My guess is copy-pasted Osanas with few minor twists.

 

[Neurotypical Mantis]

inb4 we never get another build again but he's gonna keep saying he's working on it

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Is this the point when he takes money and runs, never to be seen again (under YandereDev nickname at least)?

Running requires leaving the house, so I'd rather say blames it all on gremlins, emails, low donations, palestinians and abandons YS for good. However, what I expect to happen is different - he will shit out that build at some point after numerous delays, it's gonna be shit, YT crowd will make fun of him, Patreon will be in all time low, but a bunch of his simps will eat it and ask for more, so he will keep LARPing for some time and then do what I've already described.

I refer you to this comment from last July.

Hm, so this is what this sneaky chosen man is trying to do. Thanks for linking.

Yandere Simulator apparently has to be set the year after its release, which means he has to change the gameplay's entire flow to accommodate what day of the week April starts on.

"The game takes place in 2015, and there are 13 full moons in 2015, meaning Luna will have to face 13 of these enemies in total." Some things never change.

If there is to be crowdfunding at this point, I assume it'll be after the remaining rivals are rushed out (as in, they have models that walk around but there's no voicework, minimal dialogue, no cutscenes, nothing particularly unique about them; they're just another NPC thrown into the environment with all sorts of strange bugs) after which Alex can say "Look at them compared to Osana; give me money and I can do all the things I did with Osana!"

Pretty much. Either that, or he will just outright refuse to do it. If he just tried it right now, he would have all the eyes on him again and even though youtubers are a bunch of lazy cunts, I am sure, someone would've looked into his programming background.

Anyone speculating what the 10 rival build will look like?

Well, the models are already there and do something. The way of least resistance is to just make them say "oh, I'm gonna confess to senpai on Friday" in the beginning of the week and then make them confess on Friday. However, one of them is a nurse and the other is a teacher, who can't just be killed, right? That's extra coding. Also, if you kill/frame a rival, she should stop showing up at school, which is also extra code. Game is fucking broken and you can kill someone meters away from witnesses and run away, but still, if there is collateral damage, those students too should stop showing up at school. Also, let's say I've killed all the members of cooking club. Will it still be open just to stay empty? Ok, and if I killed a teacher or even multiple teachers, what then? School is still functional and they will show up the next week? After going through a bunch of Alex's bugfix reports, I can surely say, that he never even considers that the player can do something unexpected, so he doesn't implement what the game should do in those cases. Considering this, the result will be extremely bland and buggy, like the rest of the game.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

inb4 we never get another build again but he's gonna keep saying he's working on it

I was thinking the same thing. He's going to get stuck into a quagmire hell trying to get all these in, and will either cave on his promise, or perpetually chase that rainbow and fade into the distance.

All it now needs is zombies, hunger meter, and janky multiplayer.
Anyone speculating what the 10 rival build will look like? My guess is copy-pasted Osanas with few minor twists.

I expect something both better and worse. He's not going to copypasta Osana, he knows that'll get caught and ripped to shreds immediately. Rather, he'll hardcode up a bucket of mix and match generic events and kills, and then dartboard them out to different rivals. Osana will be unique, but everyone else will behave like some procgen mess. Hell, that might even be his goal, procgen schedules, what with his recent sandbox obsession. If he's smart, he'll add one unique event tailored to each rivals existence, to try and sidestep this, but I suspect they'll be shallow as all hell.

Then his crowdfunding goal will be to expand each rival into a unique thing instead of generic buckets.

Spoiler: Why it'll fail regardless

Ultimately, the ten rivals are going to be fundamental disappointments for two reasons. One, the sandbox space is incredibly limited by its design, and Osana already occupies most of that possibility space. He can reskin engagement, (I.E. Replace one scripted murder with another scripted murder) but there's little room for novel engagement. This leads to reason two, he's presented, and should deliver, these rivals as increasing difficulty steps. Its not just the usual Raibaru god jokes and how he has to compete with that difficulty level. His design space doesn't have a great deal of room to actually include higher difficulty, not without significant new systems, practically a redesign. He can't lean into the player skills learned from class hard, because the extended timeline will make precognition a major issue (Don't know what you need six weeks from now). He doesn't have much granularity in murder actions, its pretty binary can/cannot kill states. He doesn't have much space for intelligent interaction with emergent opportunity, everything is tightly scripted. The only way for a rival to get more difficult in his system is explicitly scripting increasingly difficult conditions to trigger events, which doesn't seem realistic considering the nightmarish way he has to hand code things. It'd take him years, and the end result would just be frustrating, not fun.

There's just not much space to make the rivals do anything. It'll be stale by the third girl.

The Alternative is to rip out the core scheduling and event architecture and build it new, which would take a serious and skilled programmer a couple months to do if the rest of the game was already fairly reasonably decoupled. Alex has a tightly coupled hellscape of hardcoded messes, and jack shit in the skill department to fix it. So I consider that path to just be unrealistic at every level, he'd spend years doing it, if he could even work it out. He'd literally be rebuilding most of the game from the ground up.

 

[Meiwaku]

After 7 goddamn years of watching this email warrior's spaghetti trainwreck ...he's finally "done" with something that could, with scrutiny, be called a completed game. In b4 he announces a vacation after for all his hard work.

I can't wait for the next gibbs for rival 2-9. It will be fantastic

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Hell, that might even be his goal, procgen schedules, what with his recent sandbox obsession

Heh, no. Only if someone else will shove it in there. Alex has no idea about those things, he just copies everything from the web.