- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
Penis butchers yet another recipe to please his troonmates and their child aged habits.
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Tranch fans - Philip's mama's famous hummus has landed and it looks as awful as I feared (disclosure: I hate the stuff so I may be biased)
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"Jarrod, sweetie? Could you maybe cool it with the muhajadeen larping on Facebook? Mommy's boss says it might make me look bad, and Mommy's job is what buys you tacos."I do think his mom asked him not to proclaim himself a member of antifa because when it was declared a terrorist organization it really complicated her job at DHS or something.
Penny's bellowing man voice screaming "move in!" and "cover!" like a dorky theatre kid singing Les Mis songs in a Denny's was the funniest part of that video.And for someone who supposedly has to play army to protect the tranch, you’d think he would prioritize movement and not looking like a bursting can of biscuits.
That was my favorite part, too. That very female battle cry was the cherry on top.Penny's bellowing man voice screaming "move in!" and "cover!" like a dorky theatre kid singing Les Mis songs in a Denny's was the funniest part of that video.
Also what was the point of that drill? If Earl was attacking on an open moonscape with no cover, why run towards him while braying like a jackass? I'm not a mil-sperg, but fat men flailing and wasting ammo doesn't really seem like a drill.
They would but not by much lmao the plates they have are arguably just as bad as having no platesI feel that his fat layers would offer more protection then what ever he's wearing as a plate.
That was my favorite part, too. That very female battle cry was the cherry on top.
He should have been running zigzag. Earl can't shoot you when you run zigzag. Or maybe that's alligators![]()
Whenever Kevin comments on pics of tranchers doing work it really highlights the fact that he's a lazy layabout that doesn't leave the house unless it's for more toys.Running's a bit pointless if you have to lay out your soft mat every time you want to lie down.
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In other news, it looks like that year's supply of hay they got with the last lot of alpacas has run out
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And the three flids who turned up to help with the steps seem to have moved in. Or so Kevin thinks. I wonder how long till they too have a physique like Paul. A dozen or so burrito nights should do the trick.
Oh, and Hi Phil. I'm glad this thread gives you as many laughs as it gives the rest of us.
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https://twitter.com/SteampunkPenny/status/1405956654517014532 (X)
This post is giving off big Mac energyGods, now I want to hear some of the stupid shit that people come up with about all you lovely people.
Philip thread-reader confirmedOh, and Hi Phil. I'm glad this thread gives you as many laughs as it gives the rest of us.
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https://twitter.com/SteampunkPenny/status/1405956654517014532 (X)
I have never called any denizens of the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch pedos or abusers. I have, however, called them fat, stupid, and slovenly.
I'm gonna go against the grain here and say that hummus looks fine. Not sure why the circle of oil is there though, it's already plenty oily. Maybe Kevin and Bonny want to pack on some more calories.Tranch fans - Philip's mama's famous hummus has landed and it looks as awful as I feared (disclosure: I hate the stuff so I may be biased)
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Archive
Regarding that hilarious AJ fluffumentary, I had to rewind this bit as I was sure I had misheard;
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I hadn't...'no reliance on my family' - say what now?
Remind me again who at the minimum enabled you to be on the ranch in the first place - what's that word again Paul?
Oh, yea...'Mother' your MOTHER
But no reliance on family? Sure, whatever you say...
End thought: believe me Mr Mendoza, you have no concerns on the 'visibility' score either, lard-ass
I had that exact same thought. If Earl and his Nazi collaborators run at the tranchers on a completely flat plain, the only thing dropping onto the ground is going to do is make it harder for you to shoot. Traditionally, the command "cover!" is issued to soldiers when there is cover to hide behind."Jarrod, sweetie? Could you maybe cool it with the muhajadeen larping on Facebook? Mommy's boss says it might make me look bad, and Mommy's job is what buys you tacos."
Penny's bellowing man voice screaming "move in!" and "cover!" like a dorky theatre kid singing Les Mis songs in a Denny's was the funniest part of that video.
Also what was the point of that drill? If Earl was attacking on an open moonscape with no cover, why run towards him while braying like a jackass? I'm not a mil-sperg, but fat men flailing and wasting ammo doesn't really seem like a drill.
Hummus isn't supposed to have grease in the middle of it.Tranch fans - Philip's mama's famous hummus has landed and it looks as awful as I feared (disclosure: I hate the stuff so I may be biased)
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I had that exact same thought. If Earl and his Nazi collaborators run at the tranchers on a completely flat plain, the only thing dropping onto the ground is going to do is make it harder for you to shoot. Traditionally, the command "cover!" is issued to soldiers when there is cover to hide behind.
It was straight out of a skit by Sam Hyde and Commander Jace Stryker.Penny's bellowing man voice screaming "move in!" and "cover!" like a dorky theatre kid singing Les Mis songs in a Denny's was the funniest part of that video.
On flat ground the prone position is golden. People standing tend to get hit.I had that exact same thought. If Earl and his Nazi collaborators run at the tranchers on a completely flat plain, the only thing dropping onto the ground is going to do is make it harder for you to shoot.
The only thought that comes to mind is if they believe Earls Militia is large enough that they would have to counter assault to push them off whatever land they've claimed on the Tranch, as if this was some flags and zones Battlefield map.What we haven't called them out for yet is that the Tranchers aren't doing defensive manoeuvres, they're doing attacking ones. If you've got a castle to defend then you dig in. Find nice secure places that you hope are virtually impregnable and that let you blast away at anything that comes near. Let the attackers run out of ammo while you feast on giant cans of processed orange cheese. Look at the big line of concrete bunkers on the Northern French coast from WW2. Look at Verdun. Look at any mediaeval castle. Now it just happens that their over-grazing of their land has given them great sight lines in all directions, but if they really are expecting to be besieged then they should be putting up some places where they can shoot from and not get shot. You don't need to run across open ground shouting "down" and "cover" when you're the defender. That's the attacker's job. So either they're secretly planning a pre-emptive revenge strike against Earl, or they're total and utter genuine fuckwits. Hmmmmm.