The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

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Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%

  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%

  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%

  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%

  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%

  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%

  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%

  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%

  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%

  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%

  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%

  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%
  • Total voters
    2,258
Boris Blank's glass eye said:
Grease, grime, a mixture of <things> burned to a char, covering every surface, including the dishes and pans - and one knob missing. Holy shit it's bad.
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Because one of the idiot troons managed to melt off a knob. How does anyone even do something that stupid and incompetent? Have you ever managed to set your own stove on fire? A common household machine that most people go through their entire lives without accidentally destroying? But somehow, these brainless idiot troons have managed to completely destroy one within months.

They can't even operate basic household implements without nearly burning their house down. But they're "ranchers." Yeah right.
 
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AnOminous said:
Because one of the idiot troons managed to melt off a knob. How does anyone even do something that stupid and incompetent? Have you ever managed to set your own stove on fire? A common household machine that most people go through their entire lives without accidentally destroying? But somehow, these brainless idiot troons have managed to completely destroy one within months.

They can't even operate basic household implements without nearly burning their house down. But they're "ranchers." Yeah right.
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I have no idea how they managed to do that. Once I've had to roast a duck with the oven door open because the pan just wouldn't fit and all the knobs survived it no problem.
It was something like two hours at 200°C/392°F.

Just how the fuck did they melt off that knob? How?
 
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AnOminous said:
They can't even operate basic household implements without nearly burning their house down.
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They're queering the stove.
The white cishetero-kyriarchy demands a certain set of colonized cultural norms when using your stove, like not breaking it and keeping it clean. Therefore doing everything wrong and melting off your stove knobs like a spaghetti-brained methhead is an act of queer rebellion. Busted, crusty stoves are inherently queer spaces. Also, white people making stir-fry is cultural appropriation.
I'll take my Berkeley tenure now.
 
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How do you take yourself seriously you dumb mother fucking troon?



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Cerabella said:
🤢🤢🤢
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Gofundme incoming
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Look like a gypsy camp
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The green beans with sesame seeds, the clearly frozen broccoli/cauliflower/baby carrot premix with chili flakes added, and the chicken with a jar of stir fry sauce probably would have tasted ok (or at least would have tasted ok if cooked in a hygienic kitchen). Would have been better if the veg had been blanched, and Penny had added fresh garlic and ginger, but whatever.
The entire wok-ful of onions ruined it. The onions are chopped up way too large and they're too crowded in that wok to cook down. So instead of a mediocre but perfectly serviceable stir fry, he's created a meal that's going to be full of giant chunks of undercooked onion. Unless the ingredients aren't combined and it's being served in that weird tranch buffet style - but then that's not a stir fry, it's just a bunch of fried food.
I'm also mystified by the buffet spread - the rice/meat/cheese/jalapenos/refried beans maybe suggests a burrito, but who's going to add a bunch of whole black olives to a burrito? Why go to the effort of dicing all those vegetables if you're going to slap some whole avocados in a bowl? Why create a bunch of washing up by having individual serving spoons for all the different vegetables but provide nothing for the jar of Mrs. Renfro's salsa?
I'll grant that the steak with parmentier potatoes and what appears to be roasted asparagus (finally using the oven?) was an attempt at a genuinely nice meal, although it looks like everything was cooked at too high a heat out of impatience and consequently it's both burned and underdone.
Also their "free beer" is stout? Forget an ice cold lager, what you want after a long hot day of shearing alpacas is a heavy warm malty/creamy beer. I guess the only upside is that it will overpower the taste of whatever you're being fed by Penny.
 
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AssignedEva said:
The green beans with sesame seeds, the clearly frozen broccoli/cauliflower/baby carrot premix with chili flakes added, and the chicken with a jar of stir fry sauce probably would have tasted ok (or at least would have tasted ok if cooked in a hygienic kitchen). Would have been better if the veg had been blanched, and Penny had added fresh garlic and ginger, but whatever.
The entire wok-ful of onions ruined it. The onions are chopped up way too large and they're too crowded in that wok to cook down. So instead of a mediocre but perfectly serviceable stir fry, he's created a meal that's going to be full of giant chunks of undercooked onion. Unless the ingredients aren't combined and it's being served in that weird tranch buffet style - but then that's not a stir fry, it's just a bunch of fried food.
I'm also mystified by the buffet spread - the rice/meat/cheese/jalapenos/refried beans maybe suggests a burrito, but who's going to add a bunch of whole black olives to a burrito? Why go to the effort of dicing all those vegetables if you're going to slap some whole avocados in a bowl? Why create a bunch of washing up by having individual serving spoons for all the different vegetables but provide nothing for the jar of Mrs. Renfro's salsa?
I'll grant that the steak with parmentier potatoes and what appears to be roasted asparagus (finally using the oven?) was an attempt at a genuinely nice meal, although it looks like everything was cooked at too high a heat out of impatience and consequently it's both burned and underdone.
Also their "free beer" is stout? Forget an ice cold lager, what you want after a long hot day of shearing alpacas is a heavy warm malty/creamy beer. I guess the only upside is that it will overpower the taste of whatever you're being fed by Penny.
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I don't think they put as much thought into the whole food&beer thing as you did into this comment.
Heavy beer for heavy lads and anyway HEY GURLZ IT'S FREE BEER! WE HAVE FREE BEER!

It's been repeatedly said, multiple times, but this is a fucking frat house. An all-male college dorm without cleaning services, doctor's office, convenience store, bar, or gym around. They're all socially inept 'tards without any rules or people enforcing the rules.

I shudder at the thought how their bathroom is when the fucking stove is this bad.
 
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Cerabella said:
Screenshot 2021-06-20 at 15-19-27 Tweets with replies by Tenacious Unicorn Ranch ( TenaciousRa...png
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I can't believe they still don't have anything to put the feed in. Some old tractors tires would work, some way to keep the alpaca from trampling the food. Hell, throwing it onto a random pallet would be better than this. I swear alpacas are a hardier animal than I ever gave them credit for, because I would expect some communicable disease to have taken out a lot more of them by now. It was still bad when they had the large squares, but those are really meant for feed wagons. If they have moved onto small square they're plenty easy to work with.

Really excited for sheering, can't wait.
 
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Cerabella said:
Gofundme incoming
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Legal action! Woo it's not even half a year yet and we may have another grift! :story:

Hey Penny if Earl & Son is about to hit you with a lawsuit, post some proof. I bet they're gonna post the gofundme for legal fees while dodging questions about this lawsuit. With this recent explosion in popularity, it's gonna be great if they're caught lying. The bigger they are the harder they fall.
 
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EvaBraunsGhost said:
Tranch fans - Philip's mama's famous hummus has landed and it looks as awful as I feared (disclosure: I hate the stuff so I may be biased)

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Regarding that hilarious AJ fluffumentary, I had to rewind this bit as I was sure I had misheard;

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I hadn't...'no reliance on my family' - say what now?

Remind me again who at the minimum enabled you to be on the ranch in the first place - what's that word again Paul?
Oh, yea...'Mother' your MOTHER

But no reliance on family? Sure, whatever you say...

End thought: believe me Mr Mendoza, you have no concerns on the 'visibility' score either, lard-ass
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troons love to pull the old "my parents disowned me and disapproved of me." card for sympathy even when pauls mom paid for the ranch and kevins dead aunt keeps paying his rent to stay there.
Bubonic_Vague said:
I hope it gives them all the screaming shits and causes their sewage system to ragesplode gallons of neon-yellow diarrhoea and amhole pus all over the place. Plumber Earl ain't coming out to help you wrangle the nightmare either, so git ter plunging and slopping, yer godforsaken insectoids.
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that's what this culinary abomination already looks like, i thought they just took some of kevins am hole discharge and served it for dinner
Prolego said:
Running's a bit pointless if you have to lay out your soft mat every time you want to lie down.
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Hey dumbass, the front under rails of a sniper rifle? that's where the laser sight goes not a fucking flashlight! I don't own any guns (fucking state of NJ) and im not much of gun sperg and even i know that a flashlights only good on the underside of a close to mid range assault type weapon like an smg or AR. What good is a flashlight on the underside of a long range rifle?...though really the tranch troons are such retards it wouldn't surprise me if they do intend on using that sniper rifle at close range like an smg or AR, again as i said before just because something works in a video game doesnt mean it will in real life.
 
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