Gross Luna Slater / funeral1996 / rotten2thecore1996 / howl1996 / junkhun & Matthew Schumacher / Lurch - Heroin Addict, Discount Courtney Love, fucking grimy

[Xenomorph]

Imagine Lurch standing there itching, twitching and sweating trying to string together a coherent thought while the judge flips through his criminal record lol

 

[Speakeasy Electric]

Imagine Lurch standing there itching, twitching and sweating trying to string together a coherent thought while the judge flips through his criminal record lol

With Luna in the audience, wonky eyes and all, in a too tight greige-pink track suit, freshly bleached hair taking selfie’s and captioning it #iconic.
#courtroomcouture

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Strip-mall lawyer types will do the "we don't get paid unless you do" thing for dog bites- if they think there's a chance you'll collect. I am an internet idiot and not a lawyer but Lurch will have to prove the dog bit him (and it isn't some other injury), that he wasn't lurching on their property, and that he suffered damages (medical bills, was out of work, whatever). Are there any witnesses? If not, it's just his word against theirs.

They're probably fantasizing this will net them $10,000+. In reality, it will probably get $0-600 before the lawyer takes a cut. I doubt Lurch ever went to a doctor or can prove he missed any kind of work. Is he going to argue pain and suffering? That won't net much. Getting bitten by a dog sucks and the whole process sounds frustrating and stupid but that's the way it goes.

Luna and Lurch act so put-upon and entitled that I'm sure they think this will be an open and shut case. In reality, I predict a very very small amount or, more likely, fuck-all, followed by a massive tantrum by Luna about how unfair everything is, and omg he was bitten by a dog this is so fucked up the judge was a total bitch yaddayaddayadda.

I gotta wonder what kind of “court” Matthew has. Given his “injury” and the fact he’s a scumbucket I can’t see even a shady strip mall lawyer dealing with him. Civil cases take eons to play out. I can’t imagine he’d already be making a court appearance in civil court for a dog bite that just happened a few months ago.

It would be fantastic if he was trying to take them to small claims court and representing himself.

 

[Little Dark Age]

I gotta wonder what kind of “court” Matthew has. Given his “injury” and the fact he’s a scumbucket I can’t see even a shady strip mall lawyer dealing with him. Civil cases take eons to play out. I can’t imagine he’d already be making a court appearance in civil court for a dog bite that just happened a few months ago.

It would be fantastic if he was trying to take them to small claims court and representing himself.

It's also very possible that Lurch is lying to her about the court date (is he going to court? Is it for this or something else?) Often when she relays information about what he's up to, it sounds very much like a hapless foolish girlfriend repeating what her pathological liar bf told her.

 

[Loony Tunes]

Lol “pit attack” probably is code for “possession charge”.
Didn’t he have a court date coming up for something and that’s why they’re “sober”?

edit: I’m retarded and can’t spell.

 

[cactus]

Wow, guess people forgot what really happened to Lurch. It wasn't a dog, he snagged his leg on a fence he was jumping from trying to steal shit. Bet it's a court date about that, probably a trespassing charge or something, who knows, Luna won't be there.

 

[formerfatcow]

Seems a lot of our theories were (at least partially) wrong because according to Luna, Lurch still doesn't know about her "rape".

So the question remains- where did this happen, and who walked in on it?

 

[Little Dark Age]

Wow, guess people forgot what really happened to Lurch. It wasn't a dog, he snagged his leg on a fence he was jumping from trying to steal shit. Bet it's a court date about that, probably a trespassing charge or something, who knows, Luna won't be there.

Nah, we didn't forget. We honestly don't know what "really happened" for sure bc it was just more thread speculation. "That doesn't look like a dog bite! It looks like chain link! I bet he was trespassing!" Yeah, that's in line with his character, but isn't proof of anything.
KF musings do tend to be correct in the end pretty often though, and tbqh I'd put money on your prediction.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Seems a lot of our theories were (at least partially) wrong because according to Luna, Lurch still doesn't know about her "rape".
View attachment 2289027

So the question remains- where did this happen, and who walked in on it?

I was waiting for the “I can’t tell Lurch because he will hunt down and murder my rapist” cliche from her. I’m going to bet she “doesn’t know who it is” because she doesn’t want Lurch finding out she was flirting with some average black men that he hates to try and get some Xanax or dope fronted.

Sounds like the types of project peeps Lurch tells Luna to stay away from, but she did anyway and got a five second finger bang for her efforts. If Lurch did decide to go avenge his lady’s honor he’d end up dead or get the shit beat out of him.

 

[Cousin_Larry]

I was waiting for the “I can’t tell Lurch because he will hunt down and murder my rapist” cliche from her. I’m going to bet she “doesn’t know who it is” because she doesn’t want Lurch finding out she was flirting with some average black men that he hates to try and get some Xanax or dope fronted.

Sounds like the types of project peeps Lurch tells Luna to stay away from, but she did anyway and got a five second finger bang for her efforts. If Lurch did decide to go avenge his lady’s honor he’d end up dead or get the shit best out of him.

I don't think he tells her to stay away from anyone, simply because I don't think he gives a shit what she does. I think she (for some unfathomable reason) has genuine feelings for him and she's nothing but free room and board for him. I think if he could find anything better he would be gone in a heartbeat.

 

[Carnavoyeur]

The fact that she hasn't told Lurch tells me that she was trying to score under his nose, 100%.

 

[Android raptor]

Who says she isn't lying about Lurch not knowing?

 

[JackDonaghysSecretLover]

Everything about this post is disgusting, from whatever is happening on her mouth to the fact that she's sitting in a tub full of rinsed hair dye. Who does this?

apologies if the pictures are weird, my phone doesn't want to cooperate

 

[denysdemontfort]

Everything about this post is disgusting, from whatever is happening on her mouth to the fact that she's sitting in a tub full of rinsed hair dye. Who does this?

apologies if the pictures are weird, my phone doesn't want to cooperate

Her hair looks like mush. She needs to cut that shit off and start over.

 

[multiverse]

Everything about this post is disgusting, from whatever is happening on her mouth to the fact that she's sitting in a tub full of rinsed hair dye. Who does this?

apologies if the pictures are weird, my phone doesn't want to cooperate

So she dyed her whole body blue, and melted her hair.

I'll bet the shower is busted and sitting in that tub is the only bathing either of them can do.

 

[Nopenopenope]

View attachment 2286343

Man those are some saggy tits. Does heroin do that?

 

[multiverse]

Man those are some saggy tits. Does heroin do that?

No, heroin has no effect on one's tits. Luna's just unfortunate.

 

[Old Toad]

Everything about this post is disgusting, from whatever is happening on her mouth to the fact that she's sitting in a tub full of rinsed hair dye. Who does this?

apologies if the pictures are weird, my phone doesn't want to cooperate

I could be totally wrong but I think her mouth is all dark and grimey because of hair growth. It sort of looks like a 5'oclock shadow from far away. But I'm sure it also could just be that her skin is fucked.

Back on topic, I'm shocked that Luna mentioned that Lurch was not there during the rape. Does this imply that she's hooking by herself, in a bad part of town, with no security at all? That's terrifying and and I'm honestly stunned that Luna would do something like that. Like.. girl please value yourself enough to protect your own life by having SOMEONE there watching you.

She is extraordinarily lucky that it was "just a rape" and not a murder.

edit: I just looked back at her mouth pics, I no longer think it's hair growth.. it's almost like a chemical burn or something.. I'm stumped.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

What the fuck is wrong with her mouth? It looks like like she has thrush.

Spoiler: Examples of thrush on lips and around mouth

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

What the fuck is wrong with her mouth? It looks like like she has thrush.

Spoiler: Examples of thrush on lips and around mouth

View attachment 2291425View attachment 2291426View attachment 2291432

I think she’s just really fucking dirty and doesn’t wash her face.