Jesus Christ, I am so late but I have got to push back to the PEETZ INTRUDER video. It was the damnedest thing ever, so fucking ridiculous I had to force Mr. DP3D to watch it. He refused to believe it wasn't staged. He still cannot believe that really happened.
This was some goddamned comedic genius and I want this scene recreated in a film in some manner, though I don't think anyone could pull this off with the impeccable timing and absolute stupidity shown in this little peek into Chantal's life.
Comically obese woman, stoned out of her mind at four in the morning, in idiotic sunglasses and cat pj-rompers, is startled by the sound of her own mug being placed on a flat surface. She pauses, hears another sound her audience cannot hear, and panics. Clearly someone has scaled the outside of her building and landed on her tiny screened-in patio because there's nothing thieves with Spider Man reflexes like better than to try to break into the only apartment with the lights on in the middle of the night. She picks up her back scratcher/macaroni fork, and waddles at top speed to find her roommate, screeching his name at top volume. As you hear her trying to convince PEETZ PEETZ INTRUDER INTRUDER off camera, her long-suffering cat, who was no doubt rooting around in her filthy clothes, the source of one of the sounds she heard, comes sauntering out of the closet before PEETZ comes into the room.
Cat exits the room before a deeply depressed, heavily pregnant balding man brandishing the back scratcher stalks over to the patio door, opens it and declares it free of INTRUDERS, defeat in his voice and posture. Obese woman appears with a roll of toilet paper in her hand, scene ends.
Please tell me, you stalwart Kiwis who were able to watch the whole of the five hour death march, did anyone in chat ever tell her that the INTRUDER was poor Sam, undoubtedly trying to dig his way out of a pile of Chantal's dainty unmentionables? Does PEETZ know she got scared of the noise her cup made combined with a soft, rustling sound that can only be made by an increasingly needy housepet? Could any actor improve on this scene?
Back to more recent topics:
--No biotin pill or cream will help her hair and will fuck her her blood work so will everyone please stop suggesting that as a means of reviving long dead follicles. Biotin cannot revive dead follicles. Maybe Cialis can, but the research shows it's not reliable in that regard, and this has been going on since she was a teen. She could manage her hormones, get the beetus under control, eat protein and omegas, stop using crappy hair products and nothing will change except she will get balder as time goes by. Her hair is gone, nothing can bring it back, she will be bald by 40 because she let it go far too long to have any chance at fixing.
--Most sensible people know to have a babysitter when using hallucinogens, but Chantal is a moron and Peetz couldn't keep her from barreling down the stairs if she has a bad trip. Plus she will take more and more mushrooms when she doesn't immediately feel the effects until she's basically assured to have some permanent damage. I genuinely have no idea what will happen to her should she take this path. Reddit is crammed full of "I pissed myself/shit my pants the first time I did mushrooms, plz advise" posts and chances are most of them were not written by middle-age cat ladies with diabetes, terminal obesity, blood clots, fupa rot and useless roommates so things don't bode well for our Chantal. Bad trips often become positive experiences with time, but Chantal is unable to self-reflect on any level. So since this clearly is going to end poorly is there any way we can try to get her to use ayahuasca because while she loves shitting openly like a bear or a poorly trained monster pug, she doesn't enjoy puking, and I seriously feel that would be very funny for all of us if she ended up barfing all over the place as she experiences auditory hallucinations and screams for PEETZ.
The absolute state of this woman's life. She really is the best thing on this site at the moment.