Chris is going to Everfree Northwest - (Update July 31st: Chris is not going to Everfree Northwest)

@Null Josh, have you considered sending Chris on a train? Like others have mentioned, putting him through the airport experience may not turn out well for him or those around him/those he interacts with. At least a train would be slightly less stressful and demanding of him.
 
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Kosher Dill said:
You know he goes places in daily life without incident, right? He's not trying to motorboat cashiers at McDonalds or anything. The convention where he got handsy was a party where he tried to be "fun and flirty".
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Jokes aside, you're right. He only tends to act out when he thinks he can let loose, or when he's confronted with a situation he is not equipped to handle. Mostly Chris is just off in his own little world.
 
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Wowcoolusername said:
@Null Josh, have you considered sending Chris on a train? Like others have mentioned, putting him through the airport experience may not turn out well for him or those around him/those he interacts with. At least a train would be slightly less stressful and demanding of him.
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I'd be willing to look at trains but I've only been on a US train once in my life. If anyone is more experienced with navigating cross-country on rail give me your pitch.
 
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Jack Awful said:
If you could wrangle Chris and do that you'd earn a decent chunk of change in exchange for becoming a ween target.
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Nah, I have no contact with Chris and he wouldn’t trust a complete stranger with a business proposition anyway.

My thoughts were more of an Andy Warhol’s Factory thing, where chinamen and other bug creatures make art and then Chris would approve them and, in the case of drawings, sign the already-made ones with his magical crayon.

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Kosher Dill said:
You know he goes places in daily life without incident, right? He's not trying to motorboat cashiers at McDonalds or anything. The convention where he got handsy was a party where he tried to be "fun and flirty".
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Absolutely. But that's only part of it. His hygiene is horrible, and given how his mind is away with the fairies Sonichus, he's prone to fidgeting, twitching, and making bizarre noises. This may be fine in day-to-day life, but I can't see this behavior turning out well in a cramped airplane for five hours. He's not a kid you can just overlook; he's a 39 year old man.
 
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Maybe have a person in VA who could make sure he gets on the plane and the one in Seattle could accompany him from the hotel to the con?
 
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Kornheiser said:
He could take the Cardinal from NYC to Chicago that stops in Charlottesville and connect to the Empire Builder that would take him to Seattle.
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I mean.. This is pretty comfy sounding, saves $300+, but it's 3 days in a chair. Chris won't get a room either unless you pay the fucking ridiculous $1500.

The connections involve walking to different stations as well.
 
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Epic Fedora Man said:
I don't think a train is a good idea. Chris would get out of the train in the wrong station and get lost.
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Also he would have to transfer between trains and busses which he would undoubtedly fail.
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He runs similar risks with air travel though. At least the Amtrak employees will be used to dealing with spergs, seeing as how half their passengers are train autists.
 
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Null said:
I'd be willing to look at trains but I've only been on a US train once in my life. If anyone is more experienced with navigating cross-country on rail give me your pitch.
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VA to Seattle is at least 3-4 days by train and I imagine at least one portion of that has to be a day or more. You'd potentially be subjecting some innocent person to having to sit next to Chris for 24 to 36 hours.
 
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:gold: said:
You’d need to make airplane transfers as well.
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Well shit. You know what, fuck it. Stick him on a boat. Charter a private ship, lock him in the fish hold, and have it take him straight from VA through the Panama Canal up and around to WA. Have it leave tonight and there's a chance he'll make it on time.

Edit: Chris lives in Virginia, not West Virginia, and I'm retarded.
 
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