The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Prolego]

Another puff piece aired on Denver 7 news today. I love how they manage to squeeze a typo into a 5-word sentence with this tweet. These are strong and independent womxn who don't need no proofreading.
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Spoiler: video

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Link, 2 | Archive, 2

I love how the interviewer holds her hand right up to the camera (at about 50s). Check this out dudes, this is what a woman's hand looks like.

 

[artilleryfroth]

There should be a new vote on who will nope out first, maybe?

 

[Jump]

There are loads of shearing photos on their twitter right now, but they called in some professionals and actually did it properly for once. And whoever knew, farming done properly is pretty boring.

But this really deserves to be highlighted. They brought in one of their alpacas to be sheared, and the shearer pointed out that it wasn't actually an alpaca, it was a vicuña, a completely different species (which is apparently a wild ancestor - Google it if you really care). Does anything really scream "not a farmer" more than not knowing what fucking species your animals are. Would a sheep farmer not realise that one of his flock was a goat? Would a chicken farmer be fooled by a penguin with a rubber glove on its head? I wonder if it identified as an alpaca.


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https://twitter.com/TenaciousRanch/status/1408190042800021505 (X)

Spoiler: I would have got away with it but for those damned kids

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Video of the pro's they hired

While they worked the Tranchers where busy doing the important work.


New trancher?

 

[funny amogus haha]

Video of the pro's they hired
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he's bald lol

 

[Info Player Start]

Looks like a halal butchering

 

[Meiwaku]

Looks like a halal butchering

Unlike what happened to their genitals

 

[Ghostse]

Video of the pro's they hired
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While they worked the Tranchers where busy doing the important work.

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New trancher?
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Here's someone who knows what the fuck they're doing shearing an alpaca with narration.

 

[Miss Misery]

Here's someone who knows what the fuck they're doing shearing an alpaca with narration.

I usually hate seeing alpaca shearing (I know the restraints are for safety and it doesn't hurt them, but I'm secretly a big softy and I get all anxious anyway), however, that paca looks like he's ready to take a nap. Bless.

 

[SCRAM]

Fuck it, I'll put on my Patton Sperg Helmet.

If I was in command of OpFor Earl's Militia, the best plan would put out two of the best marksmen, probably on like an ATV trailer or something for just a little extra elevation a few hundred yards out and just have them pop two trannies at the same time. The trannies have no intercept or jamming equipment, so you could just have open comms to coordinate. The presence of an ATV should be pretty common in that area and shouldn't raise any alarms.
I'd put four black ford raptor trucks in two roadblocks of two trucks each, one on each side of the Tranch and one truck pointed each direction so at least one truck doesn't need to turn around if the fleeing tranchers decide to go offroad. The rest of Operation Shitlord's forces would be spread around the tranch.

Assuming they don't just straight meltdown at the first casualties, they would run to seek cover, so Earl'd just need to focus more on trying to burn down the Tranch Davidian's buildings than trying to shoot running targets. ITs dry, the buildings are all wood (or RVs) and they clearly don't have proper fire fighting equipment. No need to even waste ammo shooting into the buildings, just wait for the fire to flush them out and unload while they are blinded by smoke.

IF they go for vehicles (Pause for everyone to picture them trying to high speed manuever under fire in shitty road conditions in their leaf) the road blocks will intercept them no problem.
As you said, that place is a death trap if you do not have the superior force.

tl;dr the drills are all larping. if they cared they'd be doing MOUT style training to defend their interiors and working on replacing the wood buildings with concrete, and not trying to learn how to rush Earl's bunker complex.

I think, long story short, if you had a backwoods militia someone is going to be smart enough to realize - Dust bowl, Piles of manure, everything made of tires and shitty wood left in the sun, pallets with God knows what on them. A couple firebombs in the right places you don't have to shoot anyone. The Tranch would burn, the troons would flee and the dream would be over. Queue lawsuits up the ass for damages to whoever currently owns the land (bank?) as without their behaviour it wouldn't have occurred.

If they had chosen to live quietly they wouldn't have any "threats" to think about. I'm sure there are gay ranchers doing their thing all over america who don't sperg out daily about needing guns to protect themselves from Earl.

If the sheriff was crooked as they say and part of militia they would be constantly harassed by the department and they would be crying on social media about it.

It's all make believe because a bunch of transgender people living out in the middle of the desert doing their own thing away from society is not interesting, at all. But if you aren't a victim, you aren't getting free money from concerned stooges willing to part with their hard earned money.

Also edit:

Can you imagine how much of those donations are from other fucked up people on welfare. Welfare giving welfare to welfare. Jesus Christ it's one of those Goldberg wishing wells cranked up to 11.

 

[NattyDaddy]

Of course they had to hire men to shear for them. Not a single troon could come out of the tent and help...

 

[Gone Ham]

They ran a blockchain, so kiwi bros can't see dumb twitter no more (Archive)

They ran out of funds again lmao (Archive)

 

[gaystoner]

"REEEEEEEEE"

 

[Gone Ham]

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"REEEEEEEEE"

Wait, what happened?

 

[gaystoner]

Wait, what happened?

They continued reeeing past the tweets you posted.

This is the funniest fucking thing I've read on Twitter in a while. I read it in a 'dignified but angry' UwU voice and bust a gut.

 

[0 0]

They continued reeeing past the tweets you posted.

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This is the funniest fucking thing I've read on Twitter in a while. I read it in a 'dignified but angry' UwU voice and bust a gut.

"Kiwifarms has been a threat to me and my family for years!!!"

"Years," huh?

 

[glass_houses]

They continued reeeing past the tweets you posted.

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This is the funniest fucking thing I've read on Twitter in a while. I read it in a 'dignified but angry' UwU voice and bust a gut.

I like the way that anyone who's the least bit critical of them is automatically a Farmer. I suspect a decent amount of people in the world would, after being properly informed, strongly disprove of each. We're both groups of arseholes, really. "But at least KF isn't...." etc and so forth.

 

[Apotheosis of the Liver]

And here I was thinking the point of running a ranch was to make money. What a fool, obviously like any business, the point of a ranch is to hemorrhage cash at every opportunity.

 

[Taylor Swift's Ghostwrite]

Today the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch taught me that begging on twitter and GoFundMe is actually a business strategy for running a very expensive endeavor.

 

[Meiwaku]

I like the way that anyone who's the least bit critical of them is automatically a Farmer. I suspect a decent amount of people in the world would, after being properly informed, strongly disprove of each. We're both groups of arseholes, really. "But at least KF isn't...." etc and so forth.

I see this is why they can't ranch or farm because they instantly would twitterblock themselves for being associated with farms....

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

They ran a blockchain, so kiwi bros can't see dumb twitter no more (Archive)
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They ran out of funds again lmao (Archive)
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This right here is why you put flags and pronouns in the handle of your alt accounts, troons and crazies generally don't block those that they follow back, so retweet some pro-tranny shit every month or so and put one of those tumblr trans photos up as you and you're golden.

View attachment E4snPNyXIAMZgCK.webpNow that is one good lookin' alpaca.