Off-Topic Losing people to transgenderism support thread - Support group for trans widows and other people who lost loved ones to troonism

[Had]

I was a softie then, but I was still a wire mother.

I was not prepared for that rabbit hole.

 

[Sperghetti]

How is a cluster B personality even created? Are some people just born brokebrained like that? I have a friend with a history of mental illness and I sometimes worry about them, though they seem to be doing better than the subjects of this thread.

Depends on the disorder. I know that for borderline, a lot of people tend to parrot the narrative is that it's a byproduct of early childhood neglect and trauma, but I've always been a little skeptical of that because:

a. that sounds like exactly the sort of thing Cluster B types would tell people about their past, and
b. it's not unheard of for people with these sorts of personalities to have perfectly normal, functional siblings who describe them as having issues as far back as they can remember

I honestly wouldn't be shocked if they were just inherently emotionally/cognitively stunted in some way. I also wouldn't be surprised if it's something that ends up being better or worse depending on how much others enable them. One of my core problems with the social justice movement as a whole is that it's pretty much based around enabling and encouraging Cluster B personality traits.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Yeah, when I was typing that up, I wanted to tell my past self "get away from the obvious Cluster B trainwreck." SHE DOES NOT JUST NEED JOB SKILLS, DUMBASS.

I don't think mine was really trans, but that's as much as "really trans" can ever mean anything. What she posted online was the classic snarky/woke/brittle Tragic Trans Tales that I still see everywhere today, so if those people are trans, so was she--but that math goes right back the other way, too.

Not groundbreaking, but I think it's seductive to decide that all your problems are due to one thing, and it turns out the one thing is something you can't control and you can use this new identity as an excuse and a cudgel and a ticket to a social group. And that identity means that nobody can criticize you ever again, and you always have reasons to flip out when you feel like you need more chaos.

There are some people that i do believe are genuine with their gender issues and i would consider "real trans" but is one of those "i know it when i see it" situations, is still a disorder but you can't help but be convinced that they truly do feel like they say they feel and cannot really behave or think any different, they are probably a marginal minority nowadays.

Cluster bs will say they are trans the next day they say they want to be lion tamers, like literally nothing they claim has any weight. That they blatantly lie about abuse just to get sympathy from people they barely know doesn't mean other people haven't dealt with trauma or abuse, but thats the thing, there is so much histrionic bullshit flying around you never take anyone with those red flags seriously, is all bpd and bipolar fakebois and agps lying for brownie points and manipulation tactics. I can see what you said about chaos, most of these fags on twitter are not benefitting at all, they just love the chaos it generates, they are blowing their life aparts and trying to damage everyone around, they thrive creating conflicts.

Depends on the disorder. I know that for borderline, a lot of people tend to parrot the narrative is that it's a byproduct of early childhood neglect and trauma, but I've always been a little skeptical of that because:

a. that sounds like exactly the sort of thing Cluster B types would tell people about their past, and
b. it's not unheard of for people with these sorts of personalities to have perfectly normal, functional siblings who describe them as having issues as far back as they can remember

I honestly wouldn't be shocked if they were just inherently emotionally/cognitively stunted in some way. I also wouldn't be surprised if it's something that ends up being better or worse depending on how much others enable them. One of my core problems with the social justice movement as a whole is that it's pretty much based around enabling and encouraging Cluster B personality traits.

One of the most infuriating things about these types is when you catch them throwing someone under the bus that you know for a fact have been nothing but nice and helpful to them. Their family might as well be the Brady Bunch but they'd still shit on them and claim they are all worse than Mengele if that gets them the sympathy of someone they barely know. I am no expert but the upbringing factors might not be the abuse one thinks like getting molested or beaten but more subtle types of neglect, like they needing a certain type of discipline that their parents don't enforce, it also seems very common for them to come from single parent households, even when the parent is not a terrible monster. Thats my personal take, is not so much the things they suffered but things they lacked, like developing a sense for boundaries.

 

[Czechem Republic]

it also seems very common for them to come from single parent households

Or even effectively single-parent households. I.e. one parent was normal, the other was absent or neglectful if not abusive.

The few troons/trans I know and am on friendly terms with all, without exception, describe shitty home lives and/or childhoods. And that includes the ones I knew before they went down this road.

 

[Vingle]

My closest transgender story has to be vague to not powerlevel. She's a relative of a lolcow, although she hasn't come up much in the cow's thread.

Spoiler: very long tale of not-so-youthful optimism

Met in a fandom, she early 20s, me 30s. She started as one of those bisexuals who constantly has sex with different men and never women but is bisexual all day (bisexually). Childhood abuse saga that I do believe happened, from observed effects on her adult behavior, but I wouldn't guarantee any of the specifics.

Was going to go into the armed forces to escape living with abusive family and dead-end town, decided her bisexual-who-only-fucks-men status would not be respected in the armed forces. Instead decided to couch-surf across the country. Incidentally became a Homestuck fan, acquired new typing quirks and more brittle emotions and wham! Now a FtM with makeup and tight girl clothes over huge free-range titties (not her choice to have breasts, but it's part of the picture) complaining people are staring at her on the bus "because I'm trans."

Also having sex on a borrowed couch with people literally from craigslist casual encounters (betraying the time setting here), when she isn't dogging with same craigslisters in the park, then breaking down and being near-catatonic for days after each instance. Craigslist sex randos pulled the surprise bareback, didn't listen to "nos," may have handcuffed her at different points. I noted gently that this seemed to be a pattern that was not good for her, and learned I am "sex-negative." Although she did ask me to help her buy Plan B, both financially and logistically. I readily did this as a service to her and the universe, and then helped her get to Planned Parenthood and get on birth control.

I was a softie then, but I was still a wire mother, although this isn't about my own personal failings. Friends, I confess it was my poor couch that had craigslist sex on it while I was at work. She was supposed to stay with me for [short period] before a normie relative could take her in, but this did not occur. Her lolcow relative was supposed to be giving her a car, which did not occur. She did not want to live with the lolcow, because (per her report) the lolcow's partner had tried to badtouch her, but that made sense.

I sponsored the kid into a short vocational program that would give her the income to rent a one-bedroom and live decently here, moreso if she ended up with a roommate situation. I took her to the public health office and got her her vaccines updated, kept track of dates and appointments, and got her new glasses after her near-blindness ended up being from a junior-high prescription. (If nothing else, this was concrete proof there was something up with her parents.) I showed her how to use the bus system and got her a pass, which worked a lot better after she could actually read street signs. I gave her a decent netbook. I helped her get her learner's permit and took her out driving (when she was still anticipating a gift car). She was still on her parents' insurance, so I encouraged her to get to a shrink, because (at the time) I thought "well OK if she's trans, uhhhh I guess that means therapy->hormones->a bunch of legal paperwork->surgery->normal life again, so we'll put that on the list and work through it like anything else."

I drove her to a local Homestuck fan meetup in the park, where she made a lot of new friends who were exactly like her, except jobless and living off their parents instead.

What I learned firsthand is that troons do not want help; they want "help." She didn't want to take any steps to change herself or her body; after declaring herself trans, she doubled up the makeup and the flouncing. She wanted to do nothing, act helpless and over-the-top femme and be treated (?) as a man. My research into what transition timeline the state health insurance required wasn't helpful. I started to put things together; before the sojurn at my place, there were always reasons that she couldn't take advantage of social programs, couldn't join the armed forces, couldn't do Americorps, couldn't go to a food bank.

I started to overhear voice chats about how I "wasn't exactly transphobic, but..." She made it through her program and got a job, and I helped her find a good, actually not-creepy rooming house situation literally down the street from work and on a bus line. Without my dubiously stabilizing influence, she spun further into the internet. She called me and part of a rant was that "I guess if you want people to see you as a boy, you have to dress like a boy."

As I know now, the correct answer to that was not a chuckle and "yeah, probably." It turned out to be a relief being unpersoned slowly; she socialized with her Homestuck genderspecial friends, she quit her normal job with benefits and became a live-in nanny, with no contract and being paid under the table, for one of the Homestucks' younger siblings. She later contacted me with regrets and fear that she was now in an undocumented position with unstable income, and through the Cluster B lens my careful advice was still seen as that of an evil transphobe, so she never talked to me again.

I was constantly worried I'd run into her at a store, or she'd call/message me in the middle of the night with a new plateau of psychosocial troubles, but she eventually fell in with a man, centered her life around him, and was last seen on her way moving across the country in a different direction. By then the FtM/FtX meme had metastasized in the female-heavy fandom community where we'd met, so I was able to delete all my links to her socials and be uninformed about her future life. I have had only occasional moments of worry in the years since. She could have actually done something about trooning out, she could be medicated and employed, she could have several kids or still be couch surfing and probably calling herself nonbinary by now.

I still hope she did not get murdered at a rest stop by a craigslist sex rando, even though she tried to teach me that that's a selfish and un-progressive thing to hope.

Actually shed some tears to this. You probably were more of a mother to her, than her biological mother. And you ended up with just being hurt.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Actually shed some tears to this. You probably were more of a mother to her, than her biological mother. And you ended up with just being hurt.

It was one of those situations where you don't realize the scope of the project until you're up to your ass in alligators, and then there's no way out but through. I'm a boring and risk-averse person--not the kind of person to Greyhound across-country to stay on an Internet buddy's couch--so most of this wasn't even something in my mental model.

I can't fix someone's parents hurting them, but I can sure make an appointment and pay a hundo to replace ten-year-old glasses. It took me a long time to figure out that no matter how many problems I helped her "solve," there kept being more. (This is why I don't work behavioral health; I am probably a sperg frustratingly solutions-oriented.)

Spoiler: happy version

As a boring person, I did go on to pay for one other flighty Internet buddy's [same] vo-tech program, but I learned my lesson. This time it was in her home state, and I wrote the check directly to a community college. She is still a woman, and still has that steady job, although she did go from being a prospective Jew to an avowed Satanist through the years. A Satanist with a benefited position; at least I could help someone get a leg up out of the lumpenproletariat.

I don't think being trans was my first friend's problem, but I think all her problems sure did love being trans, and "trans" was a way to shut down anything that she didn't want to hear. Seems to be a lot of that in the FtX world; at least I learned my lesson about getting too close.

 

[Mal0]

I didn't know where else to put this, but I just found out that one of my favorite content creators on Youtube trooned out. It's kind of disappointing to me, and I hope it doesn't impact the videos he makes.

as hell, but who trooned out? Personally, I know two YT creators that I enjoy troon out. One was a music creator and the other does horror stuff.

edit: swapped two words that changed the context

 

[Fetish Roulette]

View attachment 2312383 as hell, but who trooned out? I personally know two YT creators that I enjoy troon out. One was a music creator and the other does horror stuff.

He doesn't have much of a following, it would be kind of a powerlevel to name the Youtuber.

 

[Vingle]

He doesn't have much of a following, it would be kind of a powerlevel to name the Youtuber.

Would it? Are you related?

 

[cuddle striker]

I've been a fag (out) since the 90s, so I know a lot of HSTS and older trans who were that way back then. I've only known one or two that are recently so and they're very different; hetero dudes through and through, misogynists. It's pretty repulsive.

Back in the day, people had to go through a lot of shit to change their sex. Even just being gay was a huge issue. Coming out meant losing a job, usually- let alone a sex change.

Trans women then started as gay men and wanted more, they really tried to pass and to this day as they age they still do. Most of them are boring people. They became boring suburbanites, those I know at least. None were prostitutes or anything like that.

 

[Nigger Respecter]

Side thoughts - The nonbinary women (for some reason its 90% women)

That’s because nonbinary is just today’s version of androgynous (Like how “goth” kids were later “emo”). Except there’s an inherent political “goodness” in declaring yourself nonbinary

 

[El_Cacahuate]

Now she has almost graduated med school

When I think of transsexuals in areas of medicine or psychology, that they stay in women's sports doesn't seem like a bad idea. Fuck, imagine that you go to a psychologist and you get a crazy transsexual who gives you wrong diagnoses and convinces you that the transition is the solution to your problems, they will no longer prepare young people confused in discord now they will be their therapists and they will give them vaginas

 

[s0mbra]

I tried to talk him out of it at first, but he insisted he was fine, he was just experimenting,

God damn, my online friend said the same shit. Went from "I feel trans but I won't actually transition." To "I'm coming out as trans uwu"
And sorta slowly ramping it up.
He told me at first he wouldn't do it bc of his wife
But I guess they are in some open poly thing with a TiM and I'm sure he's pulling my friend into the cesspit

 

[Jaimas]

I have two friends, let's call them Subject Alpha and Subject Gamma, who have effectively, for me, acted as the Goofus and Gallant of Transitioning.

Subject Alpha realized something was off about their sexuality back in the early 2000s, and actually did something about it: They went to a psychiatrist, and from there, to many, many doctors and clinical professionals for testing and diagnosis. It turns out that Subject Alpha was actually Dysphoric, and elected to undergo transitioning while they were still young. Throughout the entire process, I remained in contact with Subject Alpha, and did what I could to provide support. In that period of time, I saw more willpower, fortitude, and strength from one relatively unassuming person than I saw most people show in their entire lives. There was a time when a misdose of medication nearly fucking killed Subject Alpha via a massive blood pressure drop, and they still were intent on going through with it, likening their transition to physical therapy after a car accident. They successfully transitioned about four years later, and while I don't speak with them as often anymore, we are on good terms, and at last check, they're living happily in their new gender, somewhere in the midwestern US.

Subject Gamma is someone who first started to show odd behavior around 2014. Subject Gamma was a Something Awful user, who I initially knew indirectly via an Ex-Goon. Around 2016, they were aggressively approached by other Goons, who convinced Subject Gamma, apropos of nothing, that they were trans, and that the only way they would ever be happy again is if they transitioned. However, Subject Gamma had a long history of unstable psychiatric behavior, and there was no way in hell they were ever going to get through a psych eval from even the most even-handed psychiatrist. So they went the standard troon route: An informed consent clinic to get advisories on surgery, blackmarket hormones, and nary a single visit to a credible doctor or shrink. Attempts to stop Gamma or get Gamma to think it through ended in failure; Gamma shut out friends, family, and even their at-the-time romantic partner in favor of shitheads on Twitter they'd never met in person who had effectively locked them in with Cult tactics. Less than five months later they had gone through multiple surgeries, had lost their job, carpet-bombed every relationship they had, and become a fucking blight of a human being, perpetually miserable and angry, and blaming everyone else for their problems. I watches as over and over again, people who cared about and even loved them tried to excise them from their miserable state, only to be greeted with terrifying hostility. No one who knew them has spoken to them since 2019, and remaining friends and family of Subject Gamma haven't heard from them at all, and it's genuinely hard to say if that's for the best.

 

[Nero You're DeadWeight]

Never thought i'd come share my story here tbh.

To keep it on topic I have to annex a ton of shit before it comes into a PL/vent, but I guess if you really want the extra unnecessary details you can DM me idc. This is just a ton weighing on my mind and i'm STILL trying to wrap my head around it, even with the other details i'm leaving out. Sorry about the length.
Even if i wanted to use his dead gender i'm too fucking nice for my own good I can't bring myself to do it, however sometimes I do deadname/gender him I know sounds confusing, but I got weird morals when it comes to friends/exfriends bare with me.

Spoiler: Super long WTF roller coaster minus some tibits

So a few months ago, I lost a friend to the trooning.
We used to be HS buds in art class.
He used to be a super sweet, a bit awkward ass weeb girl who was into weird fetishes, but more or less pretty nice. Hell, I even took "him" under my wing for a bit since out mutual friend turned out to be somewhat of a jackass and belittled the shit outta "him". At the time, since I was a junior and he was a sophomore I took it as a responsibility to look out for him, we eventually shared social media and then became pretty close. Senior year for me came n went until boom couldn't get to their socials.
But we accidently ran into each other got updates, and I even met his grandma. Friend turned out was moving back to California with his mother, which he was fine about but his grandma wasn't.
Like this grandmother was in tears telling me and my mother about this whole situation saying "I don't want him to leave because his mother is just going to mistreat him etc..."

Now that I think about it, I remember at a point told me about moving back, and he was kinda eh bout it esp when it came to his sisters, but that's not super important.

Anyways, I start college, life's whack, then again I can't message the friend anymore. Month's go by, I finally check my SM and I see somebody messaged me, turns out it was friend but during this i'd say years absence, he starts going by a new gender and name. Which takes me for a loop but I'm like "sure whatever. I got trans friends who are chill this shouldn't be that different." I'll just call them A from here on out.

First few months aren't bad, hell we even got to call each other but I felt very unwelcomed due to his younger sister telling me "fuck off I hate your friends A! They're ugly I hate your friends stfu stfu stfu" but I stayed on the call regardless cause I missed the friend and promised to call Call goes fine, however the feeling of being unwanted stuck around a lot since at the time, A's iving situation was he was shacked up with his younger sister in a bunk bed and there wasn't anything he could do about it since the older sister was the only one to have a room to herself. So at first, I pitied him and said "nah dude it's all ok" even if I didn't feel comfortable.

Sidenote: the mom was one of those valley girl OMG :0 popular types? She encouraged her kids to kin (meaning these sisters and A were kinnies) and was like hippy dippy whatever the fuck progressive types I guess.

We keep in contact, I usually try to message him once or twice a week, we chat for a little, talk bout weeb shit and kinky shit life's good. Of course, at a point I did ask if me being a straight cis girl was a problem with him, since from previous experience trans people weren't ok with that.
He say's its all well and good and i'm at ease for a bit since that was a pretty heavy question weighing on me.
However, when he moved on from shaving his head and started going to hormones, that's when shit got a bit more rocky, per say? Or at least that's how I feel.
I was pretty supportive of him transitioning, never used his dead name/gender, and I kept any opinions I did have to myself since to me that wasn't the meat of the friendship. All things considered I'm pretty passive all I ask is you be safe with whatever you do since i'm not your mom I ain't going to tell you how to live your life.

However, the tipping point was when I first got suicide baited by him, which I never would've expected from him since it just felt super out of left field and unlike him.
Long story short, A's friend didn't message him back one night and he thinks the friend may have died. I'm up to my ass in cleaning an ice cream machine while I'm using a hand to scrub the damn thing and another to text him to calm down but he keeps sending shit like "it's all so surreal.... I might overdose on pills and die... We were going to get a flat together etc." basically talking bout how him and this friend were close all while i'm telling him "hey don't kermit toaster bath (in minecraft), maybe the friend passed out (the friend worked as a waitstaff) and hasn't woken up yet" and still trying to get my work done so my professor doesn't yell at me. TLDR: the friend was indeed still very much alive and he over reacted to the umpteenth degree.

This kind of behavior kept persisting throughout the months of November-February (when they dropped me like cold turkey).
December he just kept pulling this "woe is me my mother is more successful i'm just her lowly son etc" crap and I gave in going "hey your better than her! etc" So maybe the grandmothers words were right about how the mom was abusive? I dunno but he kept pulling the "mom is more successful than me" card a lot and it did get annoying but I put up with it cause I wanted to be a good friend. We exchange Christmas gifts in the mail, nothing wild happens.

January, he finally gets approved for hormones, and is supposedly a "trained actor" for his mother's movie about being trans and of course more suicide baiting occurred and when I think things started to deteriorate more than I thought. Pretty much his living situation was he was going to move into a bigger house in California, which meant he would get his own room finally. However, the eldest sister came by and the dad was giving more favoritism or something to the sister and not him, then stupid sibling shit.
Anyways he keeps bitching to me bout his living situation and how he wants to be on his own, or how he wants to get a job, and I keep giving him options he could do. Literally.
He tells me about internships? I tell him to go for it. "Buh they're unpaid"
Ok look for one that does pay or work in the college café or store or whatever "they won't take me because of ABC or I have XYZ going on"
House situation?
Why don't you move in with your waitstaff friend? You were going to get a flat with them anyways "Oh they said something transphobic so we're not friends anymore. (That should've ben the BIGGEST red flag for me but ofc I ignored it.)
Why not move back in with your grandmother? "oh she's physically/mentally abusive and a grade a manipulator" (I still have a hard time believing this since when I met the grandmother the one time they seemed to get a long fine and that woman was about to cry buckets in the damn sams club so I'm still unsure if this is a pitty me thing or a absolute fact)
Why not move back to X state? "that's my last resort and i'll detransition and move back in with my abusive grandma but I won't be happy about it.

Eventually I got pretty much nowhere, hell I didn't even MENTION "why not go to a youth center?" since I'm pretty sure there are places to take in homeless youth (he was a freshly turned 18 year old at the time).
Then of course, the suicide baiting of "what if I got on this hill, overdosed on my pills and died? Nobody would miss me I know where to go. to hide."
Which once again led to me going "Hey i'd miss you don't do that please don't do that" etc. To which he replied with stuff like "alright I won't."
At a point I think he was also jealous he wasn't loosing any weight and his excuses were about "oh this neighborhood isn't safe to walk in" or "oh I gained weight from lifting weights/ squats" or what not, I'm not a testosterone scientist but i'm pretty sure just walking a single mile a week or doin mild weights isn't gonna make the hormones go MUSCLE time. Anyways, this behavior was all fucking draining for me, especially since I had a ton of MY issues I had to deal with on top of his pitty party which I put up with.
Eventually, it had to be after valentines day around that area, I got ghosted and blocked from all of his social media that I knew of. Due to the speed of college it could've been anywhere from Feb-April I got the block hammer.

I think the main fact was because of fandom drama (which I left out since it doesn't really deal with his gender but he was an avid SM user) is why he dropped me,
but I think the fact I didn't cater to him 24/7 (tell him the things HE wanted to hear / keep up the uwu is okies uwu ass pat party since it was really exhausting), didn't support his crazy life style (which I also left out), maybe I was transphobic and didn't know it, or maybe fact I was a cis girl being successful in small leaps and bounds also attributed to me being dropped and ghosted for good.

I'm still trying to take everything in since i'm still in shock, but the more I think about everything that happened it just... feels so disgusting. Now if you excuse me, I have to dispose of some gifts on my pinboard he made me before I set fire to my entire board.
Again, sorry this is fucking long I need to go to bed and I may have accidently vented but I just needed to get this out since it seems i'm not alone in the whole "I need help but not that kind of help" wheel house.

 

[Vingle]

I'm still trying to take everything in since i'm still in shock, but the more I think about everything that happened it just... feels so disgusting. Now if you excuse me, I have to dispose of some gifts on my pinboard he made me before I set fire to my entire board.
Again, sorry this is fucking long I need to go to bed and I may have accidently vented but I just needed to get this out since it seems i'm not alone in the whole "I need help but not that kind of help" wheel house.

From my experience, MTF is more bitter/catty/petty. FTM are often straight up crazy, like a fucking roid rage.
She will always be a girl, and she never respected you. Why in the flying fuck should you respect her delusion about being a man?

 

[Aunt Carol]

He tells me about internships? I tell him to go for it. "Buh they're unpaid"
Ok look for one that does pay or work in the college café or store or whatever "they won't take me because of ABC or I have XYZ going on"
House situation?
Why don't you move in with your waitstaff friend? You were going to get a flat with them anyways "Oh they said something transphobic so we're not friends anymore. (That should've been the BIGGEST red flag for me but ofc I ignored it.)
Why not move back in with your grandmother? "oh she's physically/mentally abusive and a grade a manipulator" (I still have a hard time believing this since when I met the grandmother the one time they seemed to get a long fine and that woman was about to cry buckets in the damn sams club so I'm still unsure if this is a pity me thing or a absolute fact)
Why not move back to X state? "that's my last resort and i'll detransition and move back in with my abusive grandma but I won't be happy about it.

Your whole story sounded strangely familiar to me, this part most of all. Nothing ever works... and neither do they. All you get is them explaining their external locus of control.

I know these things aren't logical, but it seems counterintuitive that being a man means helplessness, emotional breakdowns and suicide blackmail vs. whoever makes the mistake of answering your messages.

 

[LurkNoMore]

pint sized Alt-right Israelite live rent free inside your head.

When your so far left you think Ben Shapiro is alt-right.

 

[Drunk Sasquatch Fetishist]

I used to work at a social service agency that saw a lot of trans folks, particularly trans women. As has been noted elsewhere around this place, the few FTM trans folks we did see were much more civilized and reasonable. And when I first worked at this place about 15 years ago, the MTF trans were too. There was one trans chick in particular who passed reasonably well. I didn't notice. I thought she was just kind of a butchy dyke hippie type. I'll call her Sunshine. Anyway, toward the end of my time there (I quit about 7 years ago) we started getting more of the sexpest Yavin types who were really strident, really aggro in their views. At first we were like cool, progressive and out there, political, yeah sure we're down. Then over time we started noticing that these troons were really dismissive of others' feelings. Sunshine was a Dad/Mom and was coparenting with her wife (ETA: This was a wife she got post op, not one she dragged along for the ride). They were really just a super nice, salt of the earth dyke couple in presentation. So, as a parent, Sunshine was a bit more in tune to the creep factor of the troon patrol. She was also not so gung ho on the idea of medicalization for trans kids. Having been through it herself, having a child of her own, she really had a reserve about medicalizing the trans experience for children that the troons did not. She also was sensitive about the sports issues, being an athlete herself. She also wasn't having this nonsense about it being transphobic for lesbians to not want to date pre-op MTF transfolks. And that's where shit hit the fan.

Guess what the troons did? They went apeshit and managed to chase out this sensible, reasonable, valuable, asset to the community for being a "self-hating transwoman" for being a "gatekeeper to trans identity" for "promoting abusive parenting" and being an "apologist for abusive parenting." Sunshine is now caught in this bizarre world where troons think she's an Uncle Tom to the cis world, and have frozen her out. Luckily she's older and very settled in her trans status having gone through it about 20-25 years ago, so she needs no approval from anyone. Which is what is really sad, because this is exactly the kind of sensible, rational, adult transperson who is perfect to talk to kids questioning and wondering and wanting to work through things (she was also a strong believer that you should work on your other shit PRIOR to transitioning because otherwise transitioning was NOT going to help you at all and you'd end up regretting it, which also got her exactly zero friends in troon town). But it strikes me as fucked up that these AGP SexPests who are the ones fetishizing their trans status are chasing off people who were doing real work in the field so that they can just scream about their entitlement complex. I can't figure out how they can come in and act like what they claim patriarchy acts like and yet claim they're working to dismantle patriarchy. It's literally patriarchy in a dress. Fuckers.

 

[Nero You're DeadWeight]

From my experience, MTF is more bitter/catty/petty. FTM are often straight up crazy, like a fucking roid rage.
She will always be a girl, and she never respected you. Why in the flying fuck should you respect her delusion about being a man?

Like I stated from the beginning, I got a weird set of morals when it comes to people i've met personally. Trust me I can easily deadname/gender my best friends exes like a drop of a hat, and deadgender any bitch on the damn farms, however for this individual in particular it's like difficult. I've never really been through the wringer like this with well- anyone since i'm used to people going "aight Kaiba fuck off you suck" or ghosting me and it's pretty obvious as to what happened. However since this interaction had ALLLLLL that shit some night's it's easy for me to deadgame/gender this retard since it's pretty damn obvious how toxic this was, but some nights its hard to do that cause my damn respect morals pop up (I don't think respect is bad at all, however, my stupid ass mind NEEDS TO NOT RESPECT THIS PERSON).
Course, I didn't know how toxic everything was until I broke down last month, told a couple friends, and were like "Kaiba holy FUCK?????"
To the point my best friend was like "this sounds a lot like what happened between with me and my first toxic ex" and a ton of people pointing out "Kaiba you got suicide baited'. I will do my best to just start deadgendering him to get over this shit however. Mind you, this was my first experience with some HEAVY suicide baiting (as in shit that would end up with a life on my hands if I didn't say something right).

Part of me is assuming, but if anything I feel like maybe this is a phase, but since she took the hormones she might commit the 40-41%? I never encountered those body dysphoria with her (but maybe I did and my mind is blocking it out since this was my first time experiencing this huge load of well, trauma I guess.)
But I do remember she kept wanting to whore her way around California by getting with DILFS (i'm talkin body builder ones)/Sugar Daddies on tinder to sleep around with (she was very into phone sex, and just very sexual and into sex in general which to me is kinda eugh since at the time she was like freshly 18 when we reunited, and I was older not by much but i'm just a late bloomer/have reasons why I don't date/seek out stuff yet but anyways)
was very excited to get her sex toys back from her grandmothers house, bought a female lace maid outfit, and bought lace lingerie (bra/pantie sets) to start an only fans, and kept sending me photo's of her hands and feet asking if they were good for her only fans. Of course, I didn't really support this life style, but any time I asked her to be safe I was always greeted with the "yea yea I will" like ok bitch FINE-. Which relating to her shack up situation, she did consider getting with a guy on tinder to shack with them for a few days until I said "is that really a good idea???"
She also kept sending me uncensored photos of anime boy cock and kept being SUPER horny on chat, even when I told her to censor that shit cause I was either in public or school/ I wasn't in the mood and I didn't want to see that shit. But maybe that's less with her being a girl, or cause I think she said she was either gay or bisexual as a transman i'm not sure.

Again, everything's pretty still fresh for me and I try not to think about it since I usually find out shit's more traumatic than I thought and it just makes me sick to my stomach due to just how I was treated like trash after I bent over backwards n shit for this bitch.

Your whole story sounded strangely familiar to me, this part most of all. Nothing ever works... and neither do they. All you get is them explaining their external locus of control.

I know these things aren't logical, but it seems counterintuitive that being a man means helplessness, emotional breakdowns and suicide blackmail vs. whoever makes the mistake of answering your messages.

All I wanted to do was help the best I could since it's in my nature to help people, and I genuinely do enjoy helping people. However, after just getting told excuse after excuse, it was just fucking exhausting. Hell it made me re-evalute a little of my life to just get some shit DONE instead of "buh XYZ" since if that was exhausting for me, I couldn't begin to think how my excuses made other people exhausted.
I guess I should also mention as a last minute tact on, she mentioned something about either being molested or nearly molested which I think is why she wanted to get with guys who were way out of her league as a way of coping? Or maybe it's to confirm her masculinity or some shit i'm not sure.