Shitty Alternate History Thread - If only the Romans had AK-47's they would've survived...

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Marxist ideas would spread like wildfire among poorer whites in a society that still has slaves devaluing their labor

People forget that poor whites were really badly off in the antebellum South, and it's hard to see how industrial slavery would do anything other than accentuate that.

 

[Techpriest]

People forget that poor whites were really badly off in the antebellum South, and it's hard to see how industrial slavery would do anything other than accentuate that.

Exactly my point. They're going to jump on something like marxist theory like a starving dog to a bone. It explains everything they want, and provides a solution. And it tells them "You're next in the collars." Nothing like a bit of fear to kickstart a revolution.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Exactly my point. They're going to jump on something like marxist theory like a starving dog to a bone. It explains everything they want, and provides a solution. And it tells them "You're next in the collars." Nothing like a bit of fear to kickstart a revolution.

Yeah. Even in our timeline the CPUSA worked with poor whites and blacks in order to try and bring about a revolution and I could see something like that happening.

 

[Cap. Willard Marlow]

I mean, if you know Madoka you'd know it's not about two lesbians fighting against imaginary space fascism with horrible illustrations. Shinbo would kill himself over this.

I finally clicked the link. Typical queer lgbtqxalphaomega fanfic. What I've browsed through didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Still, that passive agressive pinned author post. "If you use the wrong pronouns with my non binary protagonist I will less nice with you". Have you ever noticed that all these special uberdifferent non binaries all look the same?

I wouldn't call horrible the art. I don't like the faces, they don't look like they fit with the rest of the style, and some are shitty, yes. Everything else looks... Somehow botchy. It lacks something else. Doesn't feel complete.

 

[Burgerasssand]

One of the things I personally hate most about alternatehistory.com is all the users who sign their posts with their username like its some 500 iq well thoughtout masterpiece that they expect to get credit or money from. No historian is going to use your autistic sperging as an academic source, stop trying to be more than you are.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

Speaking of shitty real life AUs, is The Years of Rice and Salt by Kim Stanley Robinson even readable, or is it "nonwhite good" all the way down?

I am not familiar with the author, got suggested that book algorithmically.

 

[Techpriest]

Speaking of shitty real life AUs, is The Years of Rice and Salt by Kim Stanley Robinson even readable, or is it "nonwhite good" all the way down?

I am not familiar with the author, got suggested that book algorithmically.

It's interesting. It's certainly not all 'nonwhite good' - imperialism still happens, etc. etc. It's really focused on a series of characters across different time periods, and it's not like a timeline or a direct military history. Best thing I can compare it to is sort of a Turtledove style of work, with lots of viewpoint characters. Shit's a bit wild and crazy at some points but it's alternate history, you really can't win - if you adhere too close to history, people call you uncreative, if you veer away from it people say it's unlikely and impossible.

 

[DJ Grelle]

One of the things I personally hate most about alternatehistory.com is all the users who sign their posts with their username like its some 500 iq well thoughtout masterpiece that they expect to get credit or money from. No historian is going to use your autistic sperging as an academic source, stop trying to be more than you are.

Or retards who change up the font.
I know they are doing it manually for every post. Why? Just to look special? It's just irritating

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I'm reading this novel called "Celestial Matters." The premise of it is that it's a science-fiction, space pew-pew story set in a world where both Hellenic and Taoist science were actually correct. So the planets all revolve around the Earth in circles like Ptolemy, Aristotelian mechanics are important for the functioning of technology, doctors treat patients with injections of the appropriate Humor, and so on and so forth. The plot of it is that a Hellenic science ship is dispatched to the Sun to try to harvest a sphere of celestial matter to bombard the Chinese Empire with, like a nuke.

The book rests entirely on its high concept, and as it gets going its good enough to be worth reading, though it suffers heavily at the beginning from a lack of explanation and the writing just generally lacks grace (feels amateurish). The problem with it that sticks out in my mind is that the world is basically unchanged in any way from ancient times except for the addition of specific technologies. The Greeks still walk around in the same robes 900 years after Alexander. They write on fucking papyrus instead of paper and store their food in clay jugs. Slavery is still common. All of the ancient cultures still exist in their same forms with their same gods, like Phoenicians and Carthaginians, but they also seem to have all adopted gender equality like modern Westerners. The city-states have the same "personalities," muh warlike Spartans and muh intellectual Athenians. And the whole premise of a 900-year war between the "Delian League" (Alexander's victories still happen in this world, but it seems like he's a leader of the Delian League instead of creating his own monarchical empire) and the Middle Kingdom is pretty traditional fantasy/space opera, but it stretches beyond any believability - more than an Aristotelian world does - when two superstates emerge, one of them a loose confederacy, and they manage to maintain a state of total war with each other over centuries instead of collapsing to the same internal pressures that tear down every other civilization.

It's a worthwhile book, it just seems like the worldbuilding began with "what if ancient world but I stretch Greek science to its absolute limits" and didn't go beyond that.

 

[KID NAMED SCHWARMAPUNK]

God, that piece of shit was so damn disappointing for such and odd and interesting premise.
I came in excited to see what kind of civilization could emerge in an environment where the day/night cycle is a year long and all i got was RAEP and Lovecraft references every 3rd sentence.

Speaking of which I found this rather humorous parody of Green Antarctica. Go give it a read! It has black Nazis and a fucking my immortal reference.

I also realised that while the Author and his toadies wax poetic aby how the inbred psychotic cannibal sodomites are """Just like us""". That is complete dogshit.
Everyone from The Assyrians to the Nazis did all that sick shit either out of some ideal(and thus trying to justify all of it), or as an intimidation factor(ala The Mongols and how their way went with Central Asia). The Tsalal on the other hand, do the crap they do either out of whim or convenience. They offer no hypocritical justifying, no reasoning, nothing... They are literally Inhuman...

Now either they evolved from a separate creature and their appearance is just an insane case of convergent evolution, or Cthulhu didit.

 

[KID NAMED SCHWARMAPUNK]

Some Edgelord has made a January 6th timeline where almost All of Congress gets brutally murdered by Q-tards. Just... see for yourself

(Starring Q-Shaman)

 

[draggs]

Some Edgelord has made a January 6th timeline where almost All of Congress gets brutally murdered by Q-tards. Just... see for yourself
View attachment 2376034
(Starring Q-Shaman)
View attachment 2376037

Uhhhhmazin

 

[KID NAMED SCHWARMAPUNK]

Uhhhhmazin

Did you get a stroke or smth?

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Handwringing about how a bunch of boomers were one step away from kneecapping Nancy Pelosi and dragging her corpse around the House and Senate

Yeah, no.

Spoiler: Long

For one, the majority of people at the Capitol protests were unarmed so wouldn't have been able to bring about the author's fantasy of a knockoff day of the rope.
For two, the majority of people at the Capitol protests didn't intend to kill US politicians - which we can see by the fact that they didn't. If the majority of people there wanted to hang AOC, or shoot Mike Pence, or whatever, they would have tried to charge the Senate and House chambers from the second they broke in instead of walking around the Capitol aimlessly before breaking to the Senate and stealing a podium there.
For three, the protesters wouldn't have killed the few members of Congress (Hawley, MTG, Boebert) that were unabashedly pro-Trump and that Trump himself had defended. If you want to build up a strawman of everyone at the protests being a Trump loyalist that would have killed for the God-Emperor, then don't ignore that strawman when you want to dispose of politicians you personally dislike.
For four, there is no way Trump wouldn't have condemned the protests the second they stopped being protests and started being "fiery but mostly peaceful protests". He told the people there to go home the second they trespassed on Capitol property and started rioting. Trump was not, and is not, stupid enough to think that he could pull off a coup without the support of the military, and everyone, from Q boomers who sperg about the deep state, to liberals who pray a deep state exists and crushes everyone who ever stood against Hillary Clinton, Our Lady of Bluelandia, admits that he didn't have that. The one in-depth analysis of the question "Could Trump pull off a coup?" I read, which was done by a coalition made up of the AFL-CIO, the Democratic Socialists of America, the Sunrise Movement and a couple of other progressive groups - so wasn't going to be friendly to Trump - said very clearly that Trump wouldn't get any support from the military or the civil service. Trump would never have tried anything without guarantees of support from them.
For five, the whole thing just reads like a liberal's wet dream instead of a serious attempt at alternate history. I mean, it has a Congresscritter killing six people with pens, despite the fact he's blind in one eye. There is no way this can, or should, be treated as anything other than the Biden-supporting wine aunt's version of The Turner Diaries, with only slightly more gratuitous violence.

 

[KID NAMED SCHWARMAPUNK]

Yeah, no.

I find it rather amusing how the author unironically used the term ''Q-Shaman" in one segment. Like...dude, thats just a meme.

 

[draggs]

Did you get a stroke or smth?

The horrible writing of that may have given me an apoplexy

So many pen kills. Were they ballpoint?

 

[KID NAMED SCHWARMAPUNK]

So many pen kills. Were they ballpoint?

Quills most likely

 

[Kabuki Actor]

Autism is still holier than troonism.

 

[John Merston]

View attachment 2438089
View attachment 2438087

Autism is still holier than troonism.

Imagine what would happen if the IRL Chris-chan learned about this. I bet he'd sign up to the site so he could pester the author into deleting it.

 

[Foltest]

I finished reading to "the Gray tide" both the first one and the second one.
The first one is pretty decent and give a good insight into how WWI could have been won by the central power.
The second book, however, can lick my taint.
Instead of being one story, there are two short stories. The first one is pretty good, but has some problem, but I can have oversee with it (the final scene made me laugh out loud).
The second story however, was awful.
For one, Kaiser Billy is too evil in it and it makes no sense in how he act. He act like a maniac (I know Big Willy had issues in real life, but he was never this MUHAHAHAHAH).
Second, the focus is off. We get two stories in this short story. Number one, is that AH want to get out of the alliance and join rest of the Europan nation to contain Germany. the other one, is how there is a big revoluation in Hungary with backing from Germany. The first one, I don't have too much issue with (Austra Hungary was always the minor party in the allaince). it is the second one I have problem with. For one, I don't like how Germany is behind it. Would create too much instability. There is also the issue with that in this univerise, Germany has more direct control in the east, and stroking on nationalist fire would spread around.
Second, The agent they sent is Hitler Mr Wolf to bring it on. Firstly, If Germany would win WW1, "herr Wolf" would not become a damn Agent for the germans. It took me out of the story complete.