Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[LordofCringe7206]

Normally I'd agree, but the lesbian beard story always stood out to me because it's way too imaginative for me to believe Bob thought it up himself. I've always suspected he either stole it from the plot of a movie, or he was an acquaintance of a lesbian and assumed that meant he was her beard.

I don't know. Bob can be pretty creative when he wants to be. Consider that other story he told where he manipulated some girls into having a threesome or some shit because he was reading a book that was geared to girls.

 

[blablabla]

Bob Is mongoloid enough that he tought hot dog girl was His friend because he took a picture with him . His brain doesn't work right. He has never been with a girl.

 

[Koby_Fish]

I don't know. Bob can be pretty creative when he wants to be. Consider that other story he told where he manipulated some girls into having a threesome or some shit because he was reading a book that was geared to girls.

I will bet you dollars to original character donut steels that the book he (claimed to have) read is the questionable Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret. It's about a girl that at one point in the book, tells her previously estranged maternal grandparents she doesn't need religion or God. There's also bits about the title character and her friends eagerly awaiting their first period. It also includes sexual themes that many parents thought were inappropriate for the age group to which it was advertised. Being the autist he is, he probably saw a girl he liked reading that book, decided to check it out of the library and read it in hopes he could talk to girls about it and tip his fedora in this way. But bob was and is fat, and I seriously doubt the most desperately horny pair of best friends would have sex with Bob at any age.

Judy Blume also wrote a book called Then Again, Maybe I Won't which is basically Margaret but with a boy protagonist instead of a girl.

 

[Alexander Thaut]

This. This is what I mean. He keeps trying to be (I think) "self-deprecating", but his high self-esteem and libido get in the way.

So it's less a series of fat jokes, and more like teasers for his BHM content on OnlyFans.

Bob's got the right face and body to be a specialist in l4d2 boomer cosplayer porn

 

[Berrakh]

Loki's ending sounds awful and excessively meta. Can't wait for a future Secret Asshole thread about how writing and production is now catered to driving social media conversations and clickbait videos explaining how things end. It's all a big engagement scheme, you're incentivized to never stop consuming. Live free, don't join.

 

[Captain Syrup]

Awful and Excessively Meta

The title of Joss Whedon's biography

 

[Positron]

Bobby doesn't believe that some people have a calling to protect the society since childhood:

The "assigned" language is cringey because it is tranny-speak. But I have nothing but respect if someone says he is "destined to be a cop since birth".

Forget escargots; we have to take on the escarghouls.


Bobby urges academics to continue being adversarial towards the "superstitious" Red States. This will help vaccination numbers I presume.

"Not being adversarial" is a good tactic being wasted on bad targets.

"...Pfizer, which has zero side effects except longevity". Wrestlers know medicine.


Norwegian Cruise Line Holdings sues Florida's surgeon general because the state prohibits companies from requiring proof of vaccination from customers and employees (archive of CNN article)


Speaking of abortion, Bobby wants "Thinking States" to send gestapos to Texas to round up pro-lifers (archive of Rolling Stone article):


+ + + +
Peter Coffin is a "Jan 6 Truther":

"BLM supporters approved of holding their own to task for their crime", who are the "Truthers" I wonder?

Mark Milley plans resign in case of a Trump-led coup, because he wouldn't be able to turn the military into a CRT cesspool (archive of CNN article).

Indeed Milley is such a good guy that he never saw one day of combat.

How DARE the GOP steal my idea!




The esteemed, intrepid journalists in Washington Post found Tucker Carlson's first-grade teacher to prove Carlson is a liar (archive of WaPo article):


Still on the same article. Bobby feels so angry with Carlson that he wants to chop off his head, Highlander style:


MCU, a better Catholicism than Catholicism:


Ben Carson attributes black resilience during slavery to their strong family ties and strong faith in God.
Bobby: yeah you don't survive as free human beings; you hang on as superstitious black ghouls!
His lackeys are equally incredulous.

You know the fate of the ignoble savage who dares to speak against the Enlightened, Thinking white men.

The Thinking People in Notre Dame University don't want a taste of Chick-Fil-A, soaked in gay blood.

If Bobby were a human-shaped restroom candle, what would be his scent?

+ + + +
"Walt Disney Company’s Global Intelligence and Threat Analysis department"


These geeks are still deliberating what is or isn't canon in MCU:




Loki:






Consoom:

"Kintsukuroi" is the supposedly "traditional" Japanese art of repairing broken ceramics with gold-based cement. I only heard of the term in hipster circles recently.

Luke on Star Wars:


"Psycho-sexy French thriller":


Nigger techno-agricultural fantasy, Ghibli style. As anodyne (and out of place) as Joe Hishasi's pentatonic ditty.
(BTW this is a yogart ad.)



I don't get this either.

Simp:



Bobby does outdoors shooting?

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Does Bob have a Disney-sense, like Spiderman's spider-sense?

He always seems to know when somebody is talking about Disney on Twitter,

---

Seriously, he goes on these tangents about how Disney pretty much owns the world and I'm just sitting here being like...

 

[NickDigger]

Does Bob have a Disney-sense, like Spiderman's spider-sense?

He always seems to know when somebody is talking about Disney on Twitter,

---

Seriously, he goes on these tangents about how Disney pretty much owns the world and I'm just sitting here being like...

View attachment 2348439

This is a 40 year old man who thinks the world operates like the shitty 80s cartoons from his youth, where bad people are bad because they are bad for being conservative, and good people are always good because they are liberal, empathetic, and/or believe in Science for Superiah Fewchah, which in his mind is Epcot.

So of course he simps for modern Disney like a retard who hasn't advanced beyond the worldview of a 12 year old.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

Leave it to Bob to get emotional over a fucking yogurt commercial.

 

[Grumpy Pickle Rick]

These geeks are still deliberating what is or isn't canon in MCU:

Another reason why I hate people like Bob. The constant debates and arguments about meaningless nerd shit.

Why do these geeks care so much about what’s canon?

 

[Captain Syrup]

Seriously, he goes on these tangents about how Disney pretty much owns the world and I'm just sitting here being like...

View attachment 2348439

He used to identify as Libertarian, i.e. an absolute muppet of the highest order. Democracy must die in order for his enlightened plutocracy to flourish.

He's not a lefty; he has to impersonate one if he ever wants to get a sniff of power. The average worker is socially conservative but economically far to the left. LOLbertarians are the mirror opposite.

 

[Arthur Morgan]

Bob Is mongoloid enough that he tought hot dog girl was His friend because he took a picture with him . His brain doesn't work right. He has never been with a girl.

That's my theory too. He likes to over emphasise his importance in everything, which makes the "seducing crying girls with Judy Blume" story even more disturbing when you try to figure out the truth about that.

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

Leave it to Bob to get emotional over a fucking yogurt commercial.

Not pictured: The white people who designed, engineered, and created all the tech.

 

[UserAccess]

Leave it to Bob to get emotional over a fucking yogurt commercial.

This is a meticulously animated collection of "obsoletes" that didn't vote for Biden. Most of them own guns and wipe their asses with the trans cotton-candy flag.

 

[TopTierHealer]

You picked bad examples since as much as everybody wishes they'd be over, we're still getting more and more Dragon Ball and Bleach. Their original series have concluded but we're still getting new material either way.

Not to derail so let me rephrase: you can have Goku-likes, (shonen dummy protagonist) which can be as or more succesful than goku. You can never have a new Superman, Batman or Spiderman without blatantly referencing that you are making a Superman-like.

Anyways, Bob fat.

 

[Captain Syrup]

Anyways, Bob fat.

Good to see more ppl focusing on this existential crisis facing civilization.

 

[King Dead]

Another reason why I hate people like Bob. The constant debates and arguments about meaningless nerd shit.

Why do these geeks care so much about what’s canon?

As it happens, Drinker made a video about that very topic not too long ago, and I feel he made some pretty salient points, especially as he tied in the various canon rapes of Star Wars, Star Trek, and Doctor Who:

The general gist of his opinion is that canon is important because it's how fans connect to a story through an agreed-upon version of events. When canon gets muddled because the studio is too lazy to try and work around existing stories (Star Wars), wants to reboot the property entirely to cash in on nostalgia (Star Trek), or has a political motive to shoehorn in unnecessary diversity (Doctor Who), this leads to fan disconnect with the series in question. If your favorite entertainment franchise could be rewritten at any time, how can you remain invested in the future of the story? Fans losing interest is how series die.

With regards to the MCU, however, I agree that the canon wankery is excessive. It's formulaic to a T, to the point where you're basically watching the same movie over and over again, so obsessing over "here's what I think is going to come next!" is pointless. There's a good guy and a bad guy and the bad guy is probably gonna fire some blue laser.

The one thing the MCU had going for it was that the stakes were kept relatively realistic, especially compared to the comics they were based off of. If someone died in a Mahvel movie, it was final, end of story. And while I don't think anyone really believed that everyone who got Thanos-snapped at the end of Infinity War was actually going to stay dead, there were some definite final deaths between that and Endgame.

But now they're falling into the same trap that comics have for decades now, and that's being unable to resist the siren call of resurrection. Endgame was the first domino when it introduced time travel as the method of writing themselves out of the corner that Infinity War left them in. And as mentioned upthread, Vision's already returned to life despite supposedly having a permadeath, and now things are getting even more muddled with multiverse shenanigans in Loki (I haven't watched these, just reading summaries here). Not only is this spurring on pointless debates over what is and isn't canon, it's making it harder for normies to remain invested in the story. If shit can just be retconned at any moment, then what's the point?

Two things are clear to me: megacorps like Disney are godawful for creative endeavors, and Bob is an utter retard for continuing to postulate over shit that increasingly doesn't matter.

 

[TopTierHealer]

like your man's 100% relevant and necessary contribution to a thread about Pokémon:

Spoiler

View attachment 2347061{/SPOILER]

Was the stockbroker also from Canada?
If Bob knew about self depreciation humor he could have said something about his spirit animal manifesting, him going shopping with his mom (at age 2 (double subversive since he could deliberatelly open himself to others calling his mom a snorlax) or if he wanted to go with the fake gf angle he could have just said, "Tinder, no dox plz".

But he really needs to waste those 150 characters does he?

Bobby does outdoors shooting?

You mean shooting beers with his basement window open without the risk of flood.

 

[Captain Syrup]

But now they're falling into the same trap that comics have for decades now, and that's being unable to resist the siren call of resurrection.

As soon as death loses its significance, you can forget it: it turns into a soap opera for teenage boys.