Holy shit, Kiwis. I just did a UK to US trip as an expat with a non-citizen spouse.
DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU DO NOT HAVE SAVINGS READY FOR WHEN SHIT HITS THE FAN.
Bulk of the trip? Fabulous. Saw my family, who I had not seen in person for almost exactly 2 years thanks to C-Viddy.
The traveling? An absolute clusterfuck in both directions. We read the gov.uk and CDC advisory sites backwards and forwards. We prepared for weeks. We had a goddamned travel binder containing: Proof of vaccinations, PCR results, our fucking marriage certificate (they only take official prints), and Biden's travel proclamation with the exemption for citizens and spouses highlighted.
The first trip we had to postpone a day because my husband required clearance from the US Embassy. This was mentioned nowhere and turned out to ultimately be KLM's responsibility to apply for. They faxed out and got permission just after the fucking gate closed, Our PCR tests were set to expire in the timeframe of the rebooked tickets, and so we had to pay for new tests. Lateral flow this time to ensure we got them in time for the flights.
Testing fees at this point: 250 GBP. (50 each for the original PCR tests, 75 for the lateral flows).
We made it to the US. We were confident about a trip to MA due to the high vaccination/relatively low rate of COVID. And that was fine. Independence Day was celebrated. We went to super crowded places, no masks required, had fun, and caught nothing whatsoever.
When our time to plan for the return trip came, we booked PCR tests with CVS. We had Sunday flights, and CVS was only offering tests on business days. Fine, we got them at their last possible slots since the UK time zone difference would give us a few hours to spare on a Fit to Fly cert. As a US citizen, my test was free, but my husband had to pay the full $140 because reasonably pried travel insurance does not exist for travelers to the US at this point. CVS promised 1-2 days, with possibly a slight delay due to a reflux in cases.
Testing fees at this point: ~$480 (250 GBP is ~ $340 + $140)
We have been in the UK for over 24 hours now. We still have not seen our CVS test results. My husband called MinuteClinic or whoever the fuck CVS is outsourcing to, and the automated message on the other end said it would actually be 3-4 days of processing, thus killing the meticulous timeframe we had constructed. This was around 4 hours before our flight. We hurry to the airport, one of the only fast testing locations in the state. The site says it closed at 6pm. We got there at 5:15pm. We were the last people they willingly did. They officially started turning people away at 5:20pm. A few people got in after us, but only because they really pushed for it and contacted the supervisor.
So, last minute fast-processed COVID tests done at the airport: $200 each.
Testing fees at this point: ~$880 (~ $340 + $140 + $400).
Oh, and the UK wants a test from us within 2 days of landing. We did that today for another 75 GBP each. 150 GBP is ~ $200.
TOTAL TESTING FEES: ~$1080.
Now, I can play cute tradwife and talk about how blessed we are that we made it back in the time we planned, safe and sound, and how grateful I am to be in a place in my life where additional fees are an annoyance instead of a financial death knell, but this was some fucking shit, Kiwis. This was some absolute garbage.
TL;DR: I traveled from the UK to the US with my husband. We paid over double the amount we anticipated on fucking COVID tests. CVS is shit. KLM is shit. If you want to travel internationally to somewhere it may not be "advisable" to do so, you will likely be spit-roasted regardless of what you do and how well you plan. Or maybe this is just what travel to the US is now. Absolute hell.
