DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[UsedUp]

I expect snowkarl bait, being called negative shit heads all the while acting holier than thou during prestream in T MINUS 10 hours. Extra long prestream perhaps

 

[UaineRunei]

Reminder:

Kat is so stupid that she put her half-eaten Indian food into the garbage disposal, bones and all, turned it on, "got scared" when the bones were being chewed up by the disposal, and sat there staring at it being ground up/it dulling the blades as it roared in the sink drain until Phil came over to investigate the noise, turn off the disposal, and throw the bone away.

This is the brainpower you're talking about when you discuss Phil's better half.

Yeah, I'm starting to think that Jasper is the condo owner and those two are his pets.

 

[NotValKilmer]

This dude is legit laying in bed next to his wife (presumably) at 1am his time tweeting about how he's not bothered by the tractors on the internet.

I doubt he sleeps in the same room as Kat

 

[Down At The Farms]

Who would’ve thought that an off day would produce so much gold dust. And it’s only the appetizer to what should be a rare comedy gold pre stream main course, with his tone-deaf surprise for dessert.

just like he thinks every click on one of his tweets is an individual person looking at it.

i ain't gonna lie, i don't know the intricacies of how twitter works, but Nigel explained this "visibility" shit before and from what I recall, lines up with what I just said. someone correct me otherwise.

Yes, it’s very easy to get a lot of impressions/engagements on a tweet. I could go post under some semi viral tweets and have thousands of impressions in just a few hours. It’s clear as day that Dave fundamentally misunderstands his twitter stats - he associates his number of impressions with his ‘true’ fans, but literally anytime some views a tweet, it counts as an impression. Here are Nigel’s posts of him explaining it and giving an example of one of his tweets:

Phil thinks he has hundreds of thousands of fans because on Twitter you can see a thing called "Tweet activity" which shows you a thing called "Impressions". That tells you how many times your Tweet has been seen, and nothing else.

For people that don't use Twitter, the numbers he is once again crying about mean fuck all. This is an example from my Twitter,

The best measure to go by is public engagement, likes, replies, retweets. And Phil’s public engagement is fucking TERRIBLE for a verified account his size.

 

[Stephen Hawking]

Just got banned again at 1:35 because I said a family of 5 can budget with his income....
Im gona keep going to see how much he is monitoring.
I got some time off this week and this is hilarious

 

[hundredthousand]

Usually when he goes on these pity rants he cashes in from his tards the next day so I'm expecting a bunch of "Been a fan since..." sock account donations tomorrow.

And of course, tomorrow he will announce another expensive gift has arrived from a mysterious longtime fan who wants to remain anonymous. Looking likely it'll be a new chair.

He should hold another fundraiser called "Help DSP afford breakfast." With a tips goal of $2,500

 

[Iron Father]

Reminder:

Kat is so stupid that she put her half-eaten Indian food into the garbage disposal, bones and all, turned it on, "got scared" when the bones were being chewed up by the disposal, and sat there staring at it being ground up/it dulling the blades as it roared in the sink drain until Phil came over to investigate the noise, turn off the disposal, and throw the bone away.

This is the brainpower you're talking about when you discuss Phil's better half.

Holy fuck please can you link this in the thread?

This potato-brained bitch...

 

[Mr. Brown]

I absolutely love the fact that all Phil did on his day off was tweet and watch kat play a video game.

This says a lot about him, he gets 1 day a week to spend time with his wife and because he couldn't indulge himself and get that dopamine hit of spending money he didn't bother. The mere suggestion of budgeting got him mad.

There's lots of things he could have done for free and made some good memories with his wife. He lives in a beautiful part of the world, he could have gone for a walk or gone to a beach. Go and spend $20 on food and have a picnic... Do something ffs!

Instead he said fuck this and threw a tantrum on twitter. If he doesn't get his 3 restaurant meals a day he's not interested in her.

She's just a thing Phil brings to restaurants to eat with to avoid going alone. She's just one of those stuffed animals they put at your table in Korea if you're on your own.

 

[DeeTracktor]

Wasnt blowing bubbles and spinning in the chair Khets tip goal idea?

Fall Guys Fun: Sept. 26, 2020 pt1

Please consider leaving me a tip!: https://streamlabs.com/darksydephilCheck out my Teespring store here!: http://www.teespring.com/stores/dspgamingBecome a P...

youtu.be

Well according to Phil...

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

i ain't gonna lie, i don't know the intricacies of how twitter works, but Nigel explained this "visibility" shit before and from what I recall, lines up with what I just said. someone correct me otherwise.

Yes, it’s very easy to get a lot of impressions/engagements on a tweet. I could go post under some semi viral tweets and have thousands of impressions in just a few hours. It’s clear as day that Dave fundamentally misunderstands his twitter stats - he associates his number of impressions with his ‘true’ fans, but literally anytime some views a tweet, it counts as an impression. Here are Nigel’s posts of him explaining it and giving an example of one of his tweets:

Correct, I've talked about this too and the most important thing to note when it comes to twitter impressions is that one person can give multiple impressions for one tweet and theoretically even one just person could easily overinflate the number of impressions. An impression merely notes how many times a tweet was loaded in someone's timeline, it doesn't matter how it got there. If you go on Phil's twitter profile, every single tweet that will be loaded on the page will get one impression. If you refresh the page a second later, all of the tweets that were loaded will get an impression again. Let's say you made a script which refreshed the page ever 5 secs, if he doesn't make any tweets in the meantime which would push out some of the old ones, in 24 hours every single tweet loaded would get 17280 impressions JUST FROM ONE PERSON ALONE!

You can see where I'm going with this, people saw his massive twitter spergout yesterday, refreshed his page a lot to see if he's gonna make another extremely dumb tweet. Let's say that just a 100 people refreshed the page once a minute, that would be 6000 impressions for every tweet in just an hour. Phil doesn't understand this so he'd think 6000 unique people saw his tweets that hour.

Also, he made another tweet get ready for a FOOD TALK segment today! I'd also like to note that the tweet was posted at 1:55am Seattle time.

 

[JimiHendrix]

one person can give multiple impressions for one tweet and theoretically even one just person could easily overinflate the number of impressions.

yeah that's why i specifically compared it to youtube views.

 

[Jose Cuervo]

He just can’t stop himself. Phil probably spent his breakfast money on gin.

View attachment 2369420

- “I don’t tweet for the replies”;
- “Engagement on my tweets is actually quite high”

Pick one, Phil.

 

[tzgnilki]

4. His relationship with Khet can’t even be called a relationship at this point. What marriage can even survive or be considered remotely healthy when you spend only one day a week with your SO? Anybody in a relationship knows that shit doesn’t fly. You make time for the other person you live your life with. To me, it’s just more proof that they function more as roommates than a married couple. He also spent the whole day arguing with trolls on Twitter. If I allotted one day a week to spend with my girl and I spent most of the day on the internet, you know she’s gonna make my day a living hell. There doesn’t seem to be anything between those two and you know why? Because Khet doesn’t care nor loves him. She does not treat this man as someone that she loves and wants to spend time with. The fact that she has never put her foot down or made it clear that he either fixes his schedule and spend more time with her or she’s out of this relationship means she probably likes the fact she spends so little time with him. It appears your wife wants nothing to do with you Phil. How incredibly lonely and pathetic.

"The fact that she has never put her foot down"

don't really wanna talk about kat since there's an entire thread for that, but what I wanna sperg on is whether or not dave has made any kind of effort to save his marriage

Spoiler: relationship sperg warning

he used to do over time quite often to beg, or he'd do a fan service by doing 5 minutes of over time when he's trying to prove he doesn't just do OT to beg, but in the last few months, we've seen him speed run ANY% clock out, it's him pretending to be a good husband

he's also made it a point to mention how much of a chad husband he is by cooking hamburger helper (ruined it), turkey tacos (didn't know how to stretch minced meat to serve 2 people so ate a ham sandwich and let his wife eat like a queen), constantly orders takeout when it's "his turn to took", or conveniently "forgot an obscure ingredient so had to order out"... he must feel a major bout of guilt when she has to come home to some dogshit food so he solves this by throwing money at the local uber eats pajeet to navigate the maze to his private community middle condo

it just reminds me of something everyone does as children, they put such little effort into something, or they do such a bad job in the hopes of their parent/caregiver/horse will just end up doing it themselves, and when adults do this to other adults, sometimes there's a breaking point, especially when one or both are legally retarded

and even dave himself has admitted they "share responsibilities", so he's one of those people who think relationships are 50/50, but in reality, successful non-bankrupt relationships are 100/100

 

[25 Invisible push-ups]

I haven't been around for a couple of months I think at this point, but I'm guessing Dave is still:

-Boring

Am I in the ballpark?

I don’t know, he was pretty entertaining today, and that on his day off.

EDIT: When do we think his next fundraiser begathon is going to be? This weekend or will he at least have the decency to wait until August?

 

[Stephen Hawking]

Remember to all you struggling to make ends meet.
When your check comes in to support your children.
Pay someone to cook rice and noodles and pay a delivery man.

Buying it at the grocery store and cooking it yourself is the same price anyways.

 

[Cataloons]

View attachment 2367456
boo fucking hoo you just bought an Xbox, laptop, and a chair is in the mail

16.70 Australian Dollars = 12.32772 US Dollars

Eggs Benedict for 2 - 6 people, depending on how hungry they are. Easily a $20 dish per serving in a cafe.

People sneeze and superchat more than that. Fuck you, Phil. Fuck you, right in the ear.

 

[Filthy Greenskin]

Also, he made another tweet get ready for a FOOD TALK segment today! I'd also like to note that the tweet was posted at 1:55am Seattle time.
View attachment 2369572

I wonder if Kat has finally tired of feeding her pig potatoes and turkey dogs that she now makes Phil order out. Also hilarious to imagine Phil standing on the doorway of Kat's room while she's playing Yakuza like they're having 'quality time', clearly she only puts up with him for their trip out to the store and feeding afterwards.

 

[Negative Damage]

Ive said it before, but never on the Farms: (given a prerequisite +10 to Initiative and Constitution for Philly-boy here) he really missed his calling as a politician.

•Zero conscience.
•Fundraising skills off the charts.
•Can only articulate in politi-speak ("I am an ahnline live and on-demand digital entertaimment platform content creator")
•Plays up the BlueCollarFamilyMan role to the tilt, yet can only reference an entry-level job he had 20 yrs ago and the only evidence of his wife and "kid(s)" are preplanned photo-ops
•Confronts allegations of corruption and dishonesty by doubling down on more corruption and dishonesty
•Has embarassing footage of a sexual nature that accompanies every introduction he ever has

Were it only not for the fact that he shares a common trait with compulsive liars = they are the worst at it . . . . and his inherent laziness and fragile nature, hence the boosts to INI and CON (intelligence isnt really required for public office)

 

[UaineRunei]

Also, he made another tweet get ready for a FOOD TALK segment today! I'd also like to note that the tweet was posted at 1:55am Seattle time.

Yep, that's why I tweeted him this, because I knew he wouldn't resist.

Now, where did you get the money for the food, Phil? Did just appeared out of a sudden in your account? Did some 'silent fan' bought the dinner for you? Did Khet stole from your neighbor?

Or did you lie about having enough money only to buy your breakfast?

Questions, questions...

 

[DerichLovesNWA]

Holy fuck please can you link this in the thread?

This potato-brained bitch...

https://kiwifarms.net/threads/10-july-2021-pay-muh-bills-begathon.94270/post-9407700