Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[The tired cat]

We don't need a realistic gritty modern reboot of Captain Planet. We see it being played out by our corrupt politicians and businessmen in real life every day.

Funny thing, there were talks of makin' a gritty Captain Planet reboot back in..ooo...I wanna saay...2009...maybe 2010..but the idea never went anywhere.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

Funny thing, there were talks of makin' a gritty Captain Planet reboot back in..ooo...I wanna saay...2009...maybe 2010..but the idea never went anywhere.

Thank God for that. A gritty Captain Planet reboot is almost as stupid as the gritty MLP fanfics played dead straight.

 

[Grumpy Pickle Rick]

Thank God for that. A gritty Captain Planet reboot is almost as stupid as the gritty MLP fanfics played dead straight.

I agree, I hate stuff like Steven Universe but I don’t like gritty, edgelord stuff either.

In my opinion, capeshit should be a balance of dark and light themes for whatever angle you’re going for.

 

[TopTierHealer]

I can already hear the wailing "But we're Communists, just like you!"

And I can already hear the reply: "haha, that's very nice. Now face the wall"

 

[Tronathon242]

On Positron's last tweet dump Bob had one about how he was at the gym when he heard that Robin Williams had died, and he said some girl screamed "NO!" and let go of the monkey bars.

If Bob has actually been on exercise equipment in the past ten years, I would be stunned.

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Please twitter fools, please keep asking this kind of question to Bob.
This is the penultimate question for all "revolutionary" types.
Its the reason why people used to meme Stefan Molyneux's whole "Do you want to see me shot?" shtick.
It puts the direct responsibility on those calling for violence to cosign their own words.

He never will admit to exactly what he wants unless he's in a rage. In his normal state, he's a coward. He'll imply what he wants because he lacks the backbone to state it unambiguously.

But, if enough of those normies press him, we'll get a gem like that one about the troglodytes denying him the ability to fly up into space and talk to a functioning R2-D2 replica. The right percentage of uncontrolled anger and booze will get him to say that he wants the state to start going Khmer Rouge on all Red counties.

I think its more likely that Chris is actually retarded enough with money that he (or his wife) realized they would miss their mortgage payment due to the price of the tickets. Chris doesn't act like someone who has savings, I wouldn't be surprised if he spends the majority of his paycheck each month on his consoomer lifestyle.

It's a virtual certainty. All that craft beer and 90's shit definitely comes out of his end.

The 1619 Project is a bit of a rabbit hole since it is, in a lot of ways, ground zero for the current controversy over CRT. To make a long story short, it was a massive piece ran in the New York Times that posited 1619 was the real founding year for America rather than 1776 as it was the first year slaves were traded in the New World. From there, everything about the US has been about keeping black people slaves, and when we couldn't keep them literal slaves and had the Civil War, it means we kept them pretty much slaves in all but name only. This includes claims that the Revolution wasn't fought over any real ideals but rather because Britain looked like it might abolish slavery sometime in the near future and the founders couldn't bear to give up their slaves. Even left wing historians were calling out how poorly researched the whole thing was and clearly contradictory to anything we know about American history.

Fast forward some time later and the whole country was engulfed in controversy over it. The most prestigious paper in the country (and maybe the entire world) had published a huge thing positing, against all historical consensus of any kind, that our country's entire reason to exist is to be racist against black people. A lot of normies for the first time found out about CRT and its claims about systemic racism and "whiteness." The author has since made herself into a martyr because people had the gall to criticize her and tried to play language games about "oh, you know, it's just a theory about America's history" and other deflections from having to rigorously defend her project from basic historical criticism. Somebody who followed it closer could probably give a more detailed account of the whole thing, but that's the gist of it.

Also, no, you can't ask who owned the boats because that's not the point. The purpose is to ignore any fact of history and instead cast everything as a metaphysical struggle against the racism emanating from the souls of white people, who have engineered all the world to be racist. If whites don't own the boats, the people who do are only trading slaves because of the whiteness in their hearts.

The author of that piece of pseudo-hitorical babbel was all in on wanting to change the conception of America from 1776 to 1619...right up until she got considerable pushback and then denied that was ever her intention despite the numerous archived tweets and everything else she said. She's also slammed her critics for being white, so that should also tell you something about her character. At any rate, not only are her conclusions about the American Revolution being initiated to preserve slavery completely and utterly wrong, the event in question actually was a key catalyst in the eventual abolition of the practice in Britain 60 years later.

In terms of historical significance and credibility, it's barely one step above Tariq Nasheed and the rest of the black Ahnenerbe who claim black Africans invented everything thanks to their melanin. No one should seriously teach it as fact in any school and it's a good sign that it's become a contentious issue in the broader culture war.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Once again, Moviebob doesn't like Medicare for All because it's supposed to mean Medicare for All, not "Medicare for Everyone Except Trumpers and MAGA Trash".

Which is why Moviebob will never get accepted by progressives.

Regardless of whether you agree with their economic policies or not, saying "I want working-class people to die" is not exactly the thing that wins you friends on the left.

 

[Oliver Onions]

"I was at the gym."

Sitting at the smoothie bar fedora-tipping the disinterested girl serving you is technically being at the gym.

 

[Koby_Fish]

Which is why Moviebob will never get accepted by progressives.

Regardless of whether you agree with their economic policies or not, saying "I want working-class people to die" is not exactly the thing that wins you friends on the left.

not least because Bob wants to redefine "working class" to include diverse starbucks baristas and HIM, but NOT der mayonnaiseghoulen who mine coal, reap grains, or herd cattle. Breadtubers won't go along with that for a second.

 

[Positron]

No doubt Bobby's tragic backstory is that everyone but him is an asshole.

Fat Chicken Chipman tries to weasel out of his genocidal speech:


Bobby then educated us on the old tranny chestnut: Institut für Sexualwissenschaft.

Because the left won't ever dismiss some people's life as being of low priority. You deplorables, here's your vaccine passport, by which I mean your one-way train ticket to the Gulag!

Great minds think alike.

---

No one cares about Zack Synder's movies. No one ever.


Fap Widow:





7 minutes. I'm too busy watching the Olympics to care.

On M. Night Shyamalan's Old:


For anyone who cares, He-Man is killed in the very first episode of the new Netflix show. Nerds rage about the bait and switch, but Luke thinks they just don't have the very high IQ required to appreciate the show. As for Bobby, he laments that other nerds don't share his enthusiasm of carpet munchers:


Bobby and Luke investigate the political affiliations of voice actresses, and how "affectual Republicans" managed to infiltrate the AIDS-ridden Hollywood:

TL;DR - if you a girl who work for Hollywood since your teens or early twenties, you got to love munching carpets no matter what. The Gays totally aren't going to convert your kids!



As if dog shows aren't animal abuse already, people dye their dogs' furs and paint Disney characters on them:

 

[Felis Meanis]

As if dog shows aren't animal abuse already, people dye their dogs' furs and paint Disney characters on them:
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[Mr Snek]

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I haven't seen Black Widow but there's something really telling about Bob connecting so much with a fat funny man with a beard. I'd be willing to bet he self inserted with him hard.

 

[Woe-B-Gon (TM)]

Has Bob ever considered how boring being in outer space would be once the initial dopamine rush wears off?

Bob is the Space Sphere from Portal 2, only with a more grating personality.

I'm asking this as a person who is emotionally reserved to a probably unhealthy degree.

Is it normal for people to scream in public because they heard some celebrity committed suicide?

Normal? No. Does it happen? Yeah. Old fart powerlevel: A relative (by marriage, thankfully) of mine put on quite a show of grief at a family get-together not long after John Lennon was shot. I was a naïve youth and bought it, but one of my older and smarter relatives asked her to name her favorite Beatles song. She didn't know why we were asking, she wouldn't be caught dead listening to that kind of music!

 

[CharlesBarkley]

Normal? No. Does it happen? Yeah. Old fart powerlevel: A relative (by marriage, thankfully) of mine put on quite a show of grief at a family get-together not long after John Lennon was shot. I was a naïve youth and bought it, but one of my older and smarter relatives asked her to name her favorite Beatles song. She didn't know why we were asking, she wouldn't be caught dead listening to that kind of music!

When FEDSMOKER died, I legit ran outside and screamed "Noooooooooooooooooooo! Why, god, why?". I also did the same thing with DJ AM and that is why I am banned from the Charlottesville mall.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

Can I get faggy about something for a minute?

Spoiler: Gettin' faggy and sheeeeeeeeeit

Just to set the record, Bob didn't miss the funeral because of bing bing wahoo. He skipped the wake because of an AC issue.

Now the faggy part:

Bob did nothing wrong.

I could go super gay and make the argument that we all grieve in our own way. Sometimes a person needs to be alone to deal with trauma and I get the feeling that Bob is that type. While all that might be true it is subjective. What I say isn't subjective is that the funeral industry, and it is an industry, is a horrific and predatory that preys upon people at their lowest. I have buried people both personally and professionally and I don't mean that Aryan Brotherhood Twink I slid my shiv into. A typical American funeral in a funeral home runs around three to four thousand dollars and that price only goes up from there. They have a show room with the most resplendent of oak for the coffin and the plushest of pillows for the interior. You want to honor your loved one don't you? They'll show you the vault the coffin will lay in for those who have not had the direct pleasure of burying someone, the vault is a steel or concrete box that the coffin is put in when it gets lowered into the grave. It's purpose is to keep the coffin, which is made is some kind of wood and you're putting it about a foot or so below the frost line, from rotting and sure you could just get the plain concrete one BUT you could get the textured finish WITH the gold covering! You want to honor your loved one don't you?

in reality you're buying a shoddy box to place a dead body in, that can no longer have any concept of earthly comfort, and putting that into another box in the hopes that the first box won't rot and then throwing that into the ground never to be seen again. All the add ONS are completely worthless and the funeral homes are completely aware of this. I shit you not, wanting a textured finish on the vault is another $500-$800 and all they do is take the original vault, which comes out of a mold, and they spackle on some quickcrete like it's a stucco ceiling. A paint will set you back another $500 and all they do is use two to three cans of kraylon spray paint. Then there's the issue of the flowers. I despise the flowers. You'd be better off just giving the family the fifty bucks rather than spend that on clipped marigolds that you're gonna throw on the ground but it's expected to leave flowers on the grave for some God be knownst reason.

I could go on but I'm already getting spergy again and this isn't the place for my long winded tirades against things no one thinks about because they have no reason to think about.

To restate, through no fault of his own, Bob did nothing wrong. There are a plethora of things I'd rather do than sit in a funeral or wade through a wake, including playing Mario while waiting on a technician to fix my AC. If that makes me autistic then I will make this my blue arm or Mario is from Brooklyn fight.

 

[Carlos Thin]

Bob is the Space Sphere from Portal 2, only with a more grating personality.


Normal? No. Does it happen? Yeah. Old fart powerlevel: A relative (by marriage, thankfully) of mine put on quite a show of grief at a family get-together not long after John Lennon was shot. I was a naïve youth and bought it, but one of my older and smarter relatives asked her to name her favorite Beatles song. She didn't know why we were asking, she wouldn't be caught dead listening to that kind of music!

Ditto all those art college retards who cried over David Bowie. The only album they could name was "the one where he's got a lightning bolt on his face"

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

For anyone who cares, He-Man is killed in the very first episode of the new Netflix show. Nerds rage about the bait and switch, but Luke thinks they just don't have the very high IQ required to appreciate the show. As for Bobby, he laments that other nerds don't share his enthusiasm of carpet munchers:

Luke may live up the "out of touch" part of his handle, but his observation that they couldn't openly market Revelations as "The Teela Show" was surprisingly on point. He-Man is the face of the franchise and people with minimal exposure to the franchise--such as myself--have no idea of who the hell Teela is so we'd pass on it. Similarly, the He-Man diehards will walk away because they want the hero they watched as children for that nice nostalgia hit. Hence, the bait and switch. What Luke fails to understand because of his gyrii-deficient brain is that deconstructionism is an exhausted cliche at this point. It is boring as fuck and it doesn't take a genius to take something apart--it takes a skilled storyteller to take the parts, understand how they work, and reconstruct it. Unfortunately, Hollywood is filled with hack writers with high opinions of themselves. They need to infiltrate beloved franchises and turn them into trojan horses for their ideologies because studio execs are notoriously risk adverse. That is why we had witnessed the downfall of Star Trek, Star Wars, and Doctor Who.

Unlike Bob, fans don't have to be pay pigs and can instead simply refuse to give their money or time to people who have nothing but contempt for them. The only loser to come out of this is Mattel as the only bankable franchises they have are Barbie and MOTU. Barbie is faltering and Revelations may damage the MOTU brand because of Kevin Smith's tantrums. They have lost the DC and Disney Princesses licenses so they are in dire need of money right now. Smith already cashed his cheque. Netflix is (for the moment) still getting its money in subscription fees so it's Mattel who stands to lose the most here. What if Revelation tanks toy sales after the "toxic" fans decide to walk away? It's hilarious that Bob and Luke believe they have their finger on the pulse of Hollywood because it is a shambling corpse.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Similar penis size?

That's insulting to penis sizes of Asian men.

 

[glib]

To make a long story short, it was a massive piece ran in the New York Times that posited 1619 was the real founding year for America rather than 1776 as it was the first year slaves were traded in the New World.

They want to make the very foundation of America "racist", and hand it to black people.
Honestly if I were black after the outrage of knowing my ancestors were enslaved or brought as indentured servants, the thing that would piss me off immediately after is the idea that theres some kind of revolutionary elite trying to free me from my own country hundreds of years later. What a farce.

America wasn't founded in 1619, because Rome wasn't built in a day. fuck those commies for trying to destroy my shit.

 

[JJLiautaud]

So I'm reading Cautio Criminalis, by Fredrich Spee, the first major work to argue that witch trials are bad, and are not catching witches, and that most who were sent to pyre were in all probability innocent, good stuff. Any way there is a line that applies so much to El Bloberto its like it was written with him in mind:

Not every passion comes from virtue, for certain ones come from nature alone. Virtue is moderate and modest and loves to be instructed, and therefore does not fear becoming less when she is more learned. For if we are overcome by passion and imagine that we know everything, we refuse to learn. How then is it remarkable if the truth escapes us in many matters?

But like the Author's Preface notes those most likely to heed such advice are in least need of it, and those in most need of it are least likely to heed it:

I wrote this book for the rulers of Germany, at least for those who will not read it, not those who actually will read it. The reason is that those rulers who are concerned enough to think that they should read what I have written here about witch trials already have what they are supposed to get out of the book, namely care and conscientiousness in examining these cases. Therefore there is no need for them to read this book and learn from it. Those rulers, however, who are so negligent that they will not read and take notice of such things are the ones who really should read this book and learn how to be careful and conscientious from it. Thus those who will not read it, should read it; those who will, should not.

 

[King Dead]

Luke may live up the "out of touch" part of his handle, but his observation that they couldn't openly market Revelations as "The Teela Show" was surprisingly on point. He-Man is the face of the franchise and people with minimal exposure to the franchise--such as myself--have no idea of who the hell Teela is so we'd pass on it. Similarly, the He-Man diehards will walk away because they want the hero they watched as children for that nice nostalgia hit. Hence, the bait and switch. What Luke fails to understand because of his gyrii-deficient brain is that deconstructionism is an exhausted cliche at this point. It is boring as fuck and it doesn't take a genius to take something apart--it takes a skilled storyteller to take the parts, understand how they work, and reconstruct it. Unfortunately, Hollywood is filled with hack writers with high opinions of themselves. They need to infiltrate beloved franchises and turn them into trojan horses for their ideologies because studio execs are notoriously risk adverse. That is why we had witnessed the downfall of Star Trek, Star Wars, and Doctor Who.

Unlike Bob, fans don't have to be pay pigs and can instead simply refuse to give their money or time to people who have nothing but contempt for them. The only loser to come out of this is Mattel as the only bankable franchises they have are Barbie and MOTU. Barbie is faltering and Revelations may damage the MOTU brand because of Kevin Smith's tantrums. They have lost the DC and Disney Princesses licenses so they are in dire need of money right now. Smith already cashed his cheque. Netflix is (for the moment) still getting its money in subscription fees so it's Mattel who stands to lose the most here. What if Revelation tanks toy sales after the "toxic" fans decide to walk away? It's hilarious that Bob and Luke believe they have their finger on the pulse of Hollywood because it is a shambling corpse.

Deconstruction can be good, but too many hack fraud writers just use it as an excuse to tear down something good that they hate, getting on a soapbox to bemoan those damn undesirables liking such a thing. Over and over for years now, it's the same old story: "here's why [x character] is actually a piece of shit!" or "remember [y series]? yeah, it's problematic, sweaty" or "the entirety of [z concept] is [insert whatever -ist or -phobic buzzword here]." Don't like it? Well, clearly you're just not smart enough to understand how deconstruction works!

It's too damn rare to actually see a work of fiction that circles all the way back to reconstruction. Tackling themes in a deeper manner is fine, but going the extra mile and putting those parts back together again is much better. If you aren't willing to do that, then don't bother deconstructing in the first place, because all you're going to produce is self-indulgent wankery. I've gotten to the point where I just want things simple and upfront, no pretensions at anything deeper, at least in genre works. Shit, I just watched The Tomorrow War last night, which was about as simple and dumb as you could get, and I loved it. It didn't pretend to be anything but a dumb action movie, and that's exactly what I got.

If Kevin Smith wanted to give Teela a bigger role in this reboot, then he could have just given her a bigger role. But because he's high on his own farts, he instead decided to take a dump on fans and then berate them for getting mad about it. And then on top of that initial insult, Prince Adam finally shows up resurrected a few episodes later, but he never turns into He-Man, he gets yelled at by Teela even more, and then he fucking dies a second time. I mean, I'm no Masters of the Universe fan or anything, but even I can see why people would be more than a little upset by The Teela Show. I'm aware this is only like the first half of this series and they probably wanted a big cliffhanger to end on, but do you think anyone's going to want to stick around after being told to fuck off like Smith is doing?

At least he has Bobby cheering him on from the sidelines. Hope that makes you proud, Kevin!