Everything Chris told me about his girlfriend - a/k/a hindsight is 2020

Somehow, our boy Mutahara (aka SomeOrdinaryGamers) accidentally predicted this situation in 2019:


Timestamp: 06:16
The whole video is full of Chris-Chan-ism.

Archive:
 
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"You want to make flowers today?"

"Now, Barb, I have very important work to do. The...merge removes me from the disc and the loop. I'm near final stage. Some mornings, I can see CWCville."

"You ain't made flowers on me for maybe three weeks. Makes me sad is all."
Christ, I can also easily see CWC becoming like Buffalo Bill from silence of the lambs and locking some poor girl in his basement.
 
I don't know where else to post this but I'm re-reading the last messages I sent to Chris.

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It's really some bizarre shit. He's telling me how Bella explained how she's not a troll and he accepts her explanation which was a big relief to him. I'm just in utter disbelief he's still falling for the same shit he was falling for in 2008 and hasn't learned a fucking thing.

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The next morning is when I saw that he was siphoning funds from Barb and that I had to reevaluate everything in the most negative light possible. At the time I'm sort of in limbo trying to process what the fuck is happening.

Man, it's cool that you tried to help him and all that, but back in the day he told you he knew he could trust you because the guy from American Dad told him so in glirby-glorbo dimension, and he's only got more and more detached from reality since then. Honestly, what did you expect?
 
Honestly, what did you expect?

We all expected Chris Chan to just be an autistic manchild who plays with Lego and lives in the past. We all expected Chris to be a hopelessly incompetent fool who would never actually cause serious bodily harm of his own accord.

Seriously, this rape incident literally puts into question every single brush with the law that Chris has ever had. The consensus was that Barb was responsible for convincing Chris to run over Michael Snyder with her car over a decade ago. What if Chris was the one who premeditated everything and he just threw Barb under the bus to save his own hide?
 
Adam West was one of her favourite people back in the 60’s, however, as it was for her son back then.
I would have found this to be an odd line before but now..............
 
If he did actually use condoms, that plus the sex manual and the attempts to conceal her identity from others all go in evidence towards his understanding that what he was doing was criminal in nature. The whole thing is so fucking intentional. You can forget your “too retarded to know what he was doing” line of defence now.

If he used condoms it was 100% to guard against anything being found in her. Christ.
he used condoms, because that's what he's been taught to do. He's been told to use condoms during sex, so he does it. He doesn't in the slightest understand WHY you should use condoms, he's just doing it because that's what he's been told, and because it's become a ritual. So much of chris's life, because he's so fucking retarded, whether it be wearing his medallions, "recycling", tweeting about some inane card game, etcis just rituals that he follows, because in his mind, those rituals being broken is as bad as the world ending.

In conclusion, chris only wore a condom because he's been taught that you HAVE to wear a condom for sex, and the thought of WHY he should wear a condom never crosses his mind.
 
Anyway, on to the next saga: I feel like Chris and Gypsy Rose Blanchard could be an item.
He is in Virginia and she is in Missouri, they could start exchanging letters about their maternal trauma!
It would be cute but super awkward just like that virgin wedding kiss.
 
Goddamn. I didn't give much attention to this thread, since I was busy, so I kept up with the other threads on this newest atrocity covered on this site.
Now that I got around to read this stuff, and knowing what we know now, it's so messed up.

This is the closest thing to pure Lovecraftian horror I can imagine. Knowledge so ruinous and toxic that it makes you lose your mind by just catching a glimpse of it. I can only imagine the existential horror that Null must have felt when it dawned upon him. JFC. This is bad.

It's not even just what Chris describes, but also the completely fucked up way that he writes in. I am dead fucking serious when I say that these messages look like they were written by a serial killer on the loose. Thank fuck this stupid asshole had to brag about it to some stupid cunt (who I hope will get a nice visit by the cops too), so at least at some point, this shit got shut down. Imagine this had continued in secret for longer. Who knows what Chris might have done in the future.

He wasn't shaken at all during the arrest, and was perfectly able to ramble on and on about Sonichu and being a goddess or whatever, so I doubt that he feels bad at all. Chris over the past few years has this creepy feeling of optimism, like something broke in him.
It's not his first run-in with the law and he never had to face severe consequences.
He was thrown in a cell after making a scene at the mall over a decade ago. Back then he said that he totally freaked out over being inside a cell and that he didn't want to eat jail food (which he then ate anyway).
The next time, when he hit Snyder with his car, he freaked out cause that time, it led to the first court room saga, but he pretty much escaped anything more serious than a stern talking to by the judge.
Same with the macing incident, where he was also somewhat flustered but he came out with a slap on the wrist, even when trying to run over a guy or assaulting someone with pepper spray.

I totally expect him to be so cocksure cause up till now, the legal system and the courts have been touching his retard ass with kiddy gloves. I doubt that he fully understands the cesspit that he threw himself into just now.
He has an extensive rep sheet and back then a lot of goodwill was thrown his way - even though he didn't deserve it. The judge will not pull a punch. Not this time. Not with this sort of crime. Chris is going to get the book thrown in his ugly fucking face.

he used condoms, because that's what he's been taught to do. He's been told to use condoms during sex, so he does it. He doesn't in the slightest understand WHY you should use condoms, he's just doing it because that's what he's been told, and because it's become a ritual. So much of chris's life, because he's so fucking retarded, whether it be wearing his medallions, "recycling", tweeting about some inane card game, etcis just rituals that he follows, because in his mind, those rituals being broken is as bad as the world ending.

In conclusion, chris only wore a condom because he's been taught that you HAVE to wear a condom for sex, and the thought of WHY he should wear a condom never crosses his mind.
Prosecution could still maintain that he did it to hide a crime, since it's a reasonable assumption. Just like the book indicates premediation.
A week ago, I would have sided with the whole shishkabibble about Chris just doing what he was told in school to be the right thing (ie: using condoms), cause "it's the propper way to do things." But now? After all that happened? I am not giving him any leniency. I will assume the worst. I will not give him any benefit of the doubt. I assume he did this to hide his crime and nothing else.

And you know what? Even if he didn't do this to hide his crime, even if he did this cause it's some autistic compulsion to "do it the propper way to do things" and the prosecution uses it to successfully convince the judge it was done to hide the crime so he'll go hard on Chris, I will be totally fine with it.

Chris did something so fucked up, anything the prosecution can do to extend his sentence is alright with me.
 
Goddamn. I didn't give much attention to this thread, since I was busy, so I kept up with the other threads on this newest atrocity covered on this site.
Now that I got around to read this stuff, and knowing what we know now, it's so messed up.

This is the closest thing to pure Lovecraftian horror I can imagine. Knowledge so ruinous and toxic that it makes you lose your mind by just catching a glimpse of it. I can only imagine the existential horror that Null must have felt when it dawned upon him. JFC. This is bad.

It's not even just what Chris describes, but also the completely fucked up way that he writes in. I am dead fucking serious when I say that these messages look like they were written by a serial killer on the loose. Thank fuck this stupid asshole had to brag about it to some stupid cunt (who I hope will get a nice visit by the cops too), so at least at some point, this shit got shut down. Imagine this had continued in secret for longer. Who knows what Chris might have done in the future.


It's not his first run-in with the law and he never had to face severe consequences.
He was thrown in a cell after making a scene at the mall over a decade ago. Back then he said that he totally freaked out over being inside a cell and that he didn't want to eat jail food (which he then ate anyway).
The next time, when he hit Snyder with his car, he freaked out cause that time, it led to the first court room saga, but he pretty much escaped anything more serious than a stern talking to by the judge.
Same with the macing incident, where he was also somewhat flustered but he came out with a slap on the wrist, even when trying to run over a guy or assaulting someone with pepper spray.

I totally expect him to be so cocksure cause up till now, the legal system and the courts have been touching his retard ass with kiddy gloves. I doubt that he fully understands the cesspit that he threw himself into just now.
He has an extensive rep sheet and back then a lot of goodwill was thrown his way - even though he didn't deserve it. The judge will not pull a punch. Not this time. Not with this sort of crime. Chris is going to get the book thrown in his ugly fucking face.


Prosecution could still maintain that he did it to hide a crime, since it's a reasonable assumption. Just like the book indicates premediation.
A week ago, I would have sided with the whole shishkabibble about Chris just doing what he was told in school to be the right thing (ie: using condoms), cause "it's the propper way to do things." But now? After all that happened? I am not giving him any leniency. I will assume the worst. I will not give him any benefit of the doubt. I assume he did this to hide his crime and nothing else.

And you know what? Even if he didn't do this to hide his crime, even if he did this cause it's some autistic compulsion to "do it the propper way to do things" and the prosecution uses it to successfully convince the judge it was done to hide the crime so he'll go hard on Chris, I will be totally fine with it.

Chris did something so fucked up, anything the prosecution can do to extend his sentence is alright with me.

I agree with @waluigi on this one, he used condoms just because of his rampant autism.

In the Classic-Chris era he used to get regular STD checks for some unfathomable reason despite being extravirgin. He also mentioned an appointment to get tested for STDs in order to pork this mysterious "girlfriend" who just happened to be Barb. You know, just in case he somehow caught something being and untouched shut-in since that time he rubbed his mishappen penis against a prostitute almost a decade ago.

What Chris did is absolutely despicable, but he is no criminal mastermind, he is a hopeless dumbass first and foremost. He thinking that many steps ahead is out of the question, plus he wouldn't feel the need to, because he is a smug asshole who thinks he is smarter than everybody else. He didn't expect to be caught.
 
Jesus, I’m just trying to catch up and it’s like every rock I turn over has a new, disgusting detail. I figured by this point I was internet hardened enough to not be made squeamish by mere words.. and yet, I legit took breaks while reading his shit and won’t even attempt to stomach the audio.
 
"I had sex with someone last week; someone of this half of our universe. I worked thoroughly and compassionately with her beforehand, and at present. She's physically older than I. If heard, one may say it's something out of an anime or fan fiction.............. This relationship was something I have extensively given much, much deep thought and within myself. I had foreseen this among the infinite possible outcomes long ago. I no longer believe in labels that would hinder, and I do not listen to those shadows. This was of my own choice and acceptance, and I have no regrets. This feels right and good with I, and her."

Just how much mother/son hentai did Chris consume?
 
I gave this a big read for the third time, and Chris really is being some cryptic Jigsaw or Zodiac Killer here. He really is toying with Null, gaming him on to figure the truth out.

Null made a big mistake too..


“I'm not trying to press, just curious. It's good you're both into things like anime”

Chris did not say anything about her interests including anime.

Null, I really hope you learned your lesson. You were way too optimistic.
 
"I had sex with someone last week; someone of this half of our universe. I worked thoroughly and compassionately with her beforehand, and at present. She's physically older than I. If heard, one may say it's something out of an anime or fan fiction.............. This relationship was something I have extensively given much, much deep thought and within myself. I had foreseen this among the infinite possible outcomes long ago. I no longer believe in labels that would hinder, and I do not listen to those shadows. This was of my own choice and acceptance, and I have no regrets. This feels right and good with I, and her."

Just how much mother/son hentai did Chris consume?
Christ, it just gets worse and worse as you read on, especially knowing who that "mysterious" someone is.

I want to say "too much," but imo even a little hentai of any kind is too much in the hands of someone like Chris. He's never really needed much help with burying himself deeper in dogshit.
 
Is the "every three nights" claim male braggado? Even before he trooned out Chris has always have a low libido.
 
What if Chris was the one who premeditated everything and he just threw Barb under the bus to save his own hide?
What if both answers are correct? Barb was convincing him but, what if Chris was going to do it regardless of it? What if he already had planned it and Barb, being as crazy as he is, served as reaffirmation?
 
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He knew.
 
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