Sorry I'm a bit late on this one but yes:
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Labelle tried to claim this "really happened" several times. At face value it was to bolster the claim that no one knows who is trans until they're told, but forgetting to have already proudly declared pride in their girldick more than once, meaning that if this happened (and that's a pretty big if) Labelle just admitted to not passing at all, to the point where this partner is shocked that Labelle identifies as a woman and
validates that gender identity by saying he's not into women.
Of course Labelle tries to hide this with a few extra words (throw in "trans" and "multiple" and make sure he sounds accusatory instead of hurt that this person they were attracted to presented as a gay male, tricking him into an intimate relationship) but it goes to show how warped Labelle's mindset is: To Labelle, the trans person is the victim here despite the fact that the gay man who
is attracted to men was tricked into sleeping with someone who identifies as a woman. He doesn't want a relationship with a woman, so if anything he's being 100% not transphobic, but because by accepting Labelle as a real woman and admitting he isn't attracted to women he's
rejecting Labelle, it's now transphobic.
Because that's what it boils down to: when it comes to sex and relationships with people like Labelle, it's about taking away people's right to say "no" to them through guilt, social pressure and manipulation disguised as oppression.
To me this is one of Labelle's most honest, and disgusting, pieces and why I always go on these screeds about how Labelle and the likes are predators for trying to convince people that having "genital preferences" or a set sexuality is wrong because it excludes them.
You're wrong if you like men and accept them as women, you're wrong if you like women and don't want their dick. You will not
cannot win this fight. So I don't care how sick anyone is of seeing me write this but I will repeat:
If you do not want a relationship (sexual or otherwise) with someone, you are NEVER wrong for saying no. You owe them NOTHING. They are wrong for trying to use guilt and social pressure to talk you into a relationship you do not want. You are not the bad guy.
No one is entitled to your time or body for ANY reason.
By not respecting your right to say no they are only further proving why saying no was the right choice. Plying you with accusations of bigotry is the same as plying you with liquor; they want to get you into a state where your defenses are down so they can take advantage of you.
There is nothing wrong with not being attracted to someone, to a group of someones, or to EVERYONE. You're not wrong, you're not broken and you don't need to change, especially for someone just seeking validation who clearly has no interest in how you feel about them or anything else.
Okay, rant over.
TLDR; yes you are exactly right about this being Labelle and many trans people's fantasies and exactly what they envision when they say "you can't tell who is trans" and they will use guilt and social pressure (threatening to exclude you from a group because you're" a bigot", or contacting your boss or authority figures to punish you for being "transphobic", things like that) to get you to play along with this fantasy.