The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%
  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%
  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%
  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%
  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%
  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%
  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%
  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%
  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%
  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%
  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%
  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%

  • Total voters
    2,258
We’ve got some mildly interesting ranch updates, folks! Let’s start with the most important part, the finances.

Yesterday, Bonnie make a bank deposit consisting of a rather large stack of bills. Note the blue hairtie being used to hold them together.
View attachment 2482177
Less than an hour An hour and a half ago, Kevin tweeted

Note the twenty up front and the single in the back. Bonnie on his way to the bank flashing his nigger roll. I mean, if the anti-tranny militia was on their game, they'd know just how to get $16,000.
niggeroll is where wannaba ballas get a few big bills and wrap them around a roll of singles so they can act big.


View attachment 2482957
Can we fucking pause for a minute to reflect on this?

There are enough troons on the ranch who are sexually deviant enough to be Littles in the Daddy Dom/Little Girl (ddlg) lifestyle that Bonnie is considering a daycare room for them.

Thank you for also being disturbed and bringing that up DD/lgb shit is incredibly disturbing at the best of times, and when you add in tranny deviance....
I mean, they were inviting a convicted kiddie pimp to the Tranch. You do the math.
 
Kevin's fursona is apparently a jackalope...
One of our very talented fellow kiwis Bani did a lovely rendition a while back...
View attachment 2482459
Kevin doesn't really mention his fursona all that much though...
Kudos to Bani for trying to make that monstrosity at least somewhat more palatable, but I still want to kill myself after looking at that.
 
Which one of you jokesters scaled down Kev's head?
Blobby.jpg
 
There are enough troons on the ranch who are sexually deviant enough to be Littles in the Daddy Dom/Little Girl (ddlg) lifestyle that Bonnie is considering a daycare room for them.

I am awaiting the electrical fire saga more than ever, the purge must commence. (I hope no troons are hurt tbh just want them all to be out of one roof)

Can't you set your ambitions a bit higher? What's wrong with the long-overdue comet impact?
 
We’ve got some mildly interesting ranch updates, folks! Let’s start with the most important part, the finances.

Yesterday, Bonnie make a bank deposit consisting of a rather large stack of bills. Note the blue hairtie being used to hold them together.
View attachment 2482177
Less than an hour An hour and a half ago, Kevin tweeted more about the money and future plans. View attachment 2482244
You know, it occurred to me while I was gathering these tweets that I don’t even know if Kevin is actually a furry or not. I haven’t been following this mess for long and I don’t recall seeing him discuss his fursonas. Not like it matters though, he clearly enjoys being around like-minded individuals.
Though I know that Bonnie, on the other hand, clearly is a furry.
View attachment 2482172
Considering the state of the alpacas, I’d say that the death spirit fursona is a bit too spot on.

And going back to Bonnie and Kevin, Bonnie mentioned something out about needing a room for Littles.
View attachment 2482174
I guess this is the first attempt (or what remains of it). I decided to include it for the sake of being thorough.
View attachment 2482249

Bonnie also shared a guide to respond to misgendering:
View attachment 2482173

And Penny was a bit less active than Bonnie and Kevvy, but still active nonetheless. He posted about how he enjoys hearing from his kid.
View attachment 2482170

He shared an uncommon photo of animals that aren’t the alpacas for once. Seriously, I forget they even have dogs and cats there too. View attachment 2482180
But you didn’t think that they forgot about their dear alpacas, did you? No, they didn’t.
View attachment 2482245
The ranch tweeted out just that photo, but I decided to include this tweet instead because it’s just got more personality and flavor to it.

They also posted an entire thread about one of the alpacas. Between the 4 tweets in the thread, there were 12 photos and 1 video. I am not uploading all that, so you can see them for yourself here. I will upload the video, however, because it doesn’t look like Archive.md is saving it properly.
View attachment 2482176View attachment 2482175View attachment 2482171View attachment 2482178View attachment 2482246
View attachment 2482345
I’ve been experimenting with different formatting for these tweet dumps if you couldn’t tell. I actually like this one a lot, no more annoying spoilers all over the place.
"Assuming the number Jen came up with was accurate...". Why assume? Bookkeeping can be complex, but this is so straightforward because it was a one off event. You didn't even make any merch specifically for this event, it was pre-existing ecommerce stock.

Discount money from the raffle and the money you got from being the sponsored charity. Just count the cash you received and add it to the total card sales, and then calculate all the costs (card processing fees, transport, accommodation, food etc.). Then ([gross revenue - costs]/gross revenue) x 100% = net profit margin. So say you got $50,000 and it cost you $40,000 in total, that's a 20% profit margin, which is good. 10% is decent, 5% is low (under 5% is probably not worth doing).

The revenue after the $15,000 donation was around $1,000 (ignoring the raffle) and let's pretend they minimised costs. Let's say Kevin, Jen, Penny, Neck and Bonnie all drove in a decent mileage vehicle to do the 300 mile trip on 50 MPG - that's 6 gallons of petrol, and it's about $4/gallon in Colorado, so $24. Parking at DenFur was $12/day, so $36. Hotel costs of $60 pp pn and they spent two nights in the hotel, so call it $600. Food and drinks for five people, let's say if they were being frugal they could do $20 a day pp so across 3 days so $300. ($1,000 - $960)/$1000 = 4% profit margin.

In a hypothetical scenario where they were super frugal they would have a 4% profit margin and a net profit of $40, neither of which is worth doing. That's discounting the fact some of that money came from a raffle of a donated fursuit, that booth fees of $200 were waived, and pretending that all revenue was cash (discounting merchant fees for card transactions) along with any costs incurred by e.g. Bonnie's husband hiring farmhands to look after the ranch while everyone was away. It's also looking at the event in isolation without accounting for the running costs of the tranch or the cost of goods sold for the merch.

DenFur was likely somewhat worthwhile because it was nearby and they were the sponsored charity, but if they had not been the sponsored charity they would have definitely made a net loss. Best case scenario is that Kevin is able to pitch further visits to furry cons in a way that minimises costs, e.g. sending Jen alone to some furry cons and Jen spends the whole day working the stand and eats for free in the con's toilets. There's no scenario where "my polycule goes to furry cons and I spend the weekend mingling with people, eating in restaurants and buying crap" is in any way a sustainable goal when the revenue from selling shitty alpaca yarn and tranch t-shirts is so low - the numbers just don't work.

Of course Kevin thinks he's a sexy slutty bimbo with a functional amhole so he's out of touch with reality, so Bonnie and Penny will have to have a very difficult conversation with him.
 
@AssignedEva, I am a complete autist and your cost of gas is IMHO pretty far off. I know they took a ranch truck which is probably closer to 20 mpg if they're very lucky.

300 miles round trip at 20 mpg is 15 gallons of gas, and at 4 bucks that would be $60.

I doubt they get 20 mpg and I would not be surprised if they took more than one rig.

This is probably the closest con to them, and they would have to drive to all of them to transport merch.

Transportation costs are going to eat into that sweet, sweet furry cheddar.
 
@AssignedEva, I am a complete autist and your cost of gas is IMHO pretty far off. I know they took a ranch truck which is probably closer to 20 mpg if they're very lucky.

300 miles round trip at 20 mpg is 15 gallons of gas, and at 4 bucks that would be $60.

I doubt they get 20 mpg and I would not be surprised if they took more than one rig.

This is probably the closest con to them, and they would have to drive to all of them to transport merch.

Transportation costs are going to eat into that sweet, sweet furry cheddar.
Yeah I was being incredibly optimistic with the assumptions to try and make a scenario where they made any sort of profit (and couldn't be bothered to try and guess the MPG). They also definitely didn't spend $20 a day per person on food - that gross group meal photo was taken in the hotel restaurant, the Downtown Denver Sheraton Yardhouse, so Kevin's sandwich cost $15 alone.

If they weren't the sponsored charity, they would have paid $200 for the booth. It's likely that they're spending closer to $50 per person per day on food, given their voracious appetites and the fact they had to eat out for lunch and dinner, so that's $750. As you note they probably took two vehicles due to the number of people and the fact they took all their stock along with them, so $120 for petrol plus $72 parking. If we pretend only a quarter of the payments were card, merchant fees of 2% would be about $5 (I'd assume more payments were card, but I know Americans don't tend to do contactless payments as much, so maybe it was mostly cash). Hotel costs would still be around $600, assuming they didn't pay for Wedge + Wedge's gf to stay with them. Costs at this point would total $1747

So still excluding the spending on toys and merch the tranchers made, and ignoring there was considerably more interest in their raffle because of the donated fursuit, and still being optimistic, that would reveal a profit margin of 75%! Wow, that's actually a fantastically profitable venture, and something th- wait, sorry that's negative 75%. They would have made a net loss of almost $750.

If you adjust those costs down to one vehicle and two people going for fun (Kevin and Neck), then costs would be closer to $400. Which means it would genuinely be cheaper to send Kevin on holiday than for the tranch to try and sell things at conventions.
 
Thank you for also being disturbed and bringing that up DD/lgb shit is incredibly disturbing at the best of times, and when you add in tranny deviance....
I mean, they were inviting a convicted kiddie pimp to the Tranch. You do the math.
Basically. It's one thing to have a roommate who's unfortunately into it on accident, it's another to have multiple and encourage it.

Someone, please, send the Imperium of Man on them.
If you adjust those costs down to one vehicle and two people going for fun (Kevin and Neck), then costs would be closer to $400. Which means it would genuinely be cheaper to send Kevin on holiday than for the tranch to try and sell things at conventions.
This doesn't include conventions that you'd have to fly for, if they chose to go the flying route for further out conventions.

They could be counting their loss spent on food as other people's personal money, as in their tugboat or something. But it still is likely coming from the tranch payroll so you know.
 
That yarn is what is euphamistically called "novelty" yarn, because you cannot use it for any knitting purpose. It's too thick and underspun. It's practically just roving (strips of fiber that are then spun into yarn).

If these clowns actually wanted to sell fibre, they'd go to one of the many, many fibre festivals to do it. They don't, obviously. They want to sell the idea of their trans haven ranch. They're not in the yarn business; They're in the LARPing business.
 
That yarn is what is euphamistically called "novelty" yarn, because you cannot use it for any knitting purpose. It's too thick and underspun. It's practically just roving (strips of fiber that are then spun into yarn).

If these clowns actually wanted to sell fibre, they'd go to one of the many, many fibre festivals to do it. They don't, obviously. They want to sell the idea of their trans haven ranch. They're not in the yarn business; They're in the LARPing business.
Oh my god. I forgot there was even fiber festivals. Which means these tards either A) did not know about them or B) "eew its not a safe space its a white supremacist space". Which are both fucking abysmal for your artistian fiber business. :stress:
 
Oh my god. I forgot there was even fiber festivals. Which means these tards either A) did not know about them or B) "eew its not a safe space its a white supremacist space". Which are both fucking abysmal for your artistian fiber business. :stress:
You know it isn't the fear of white supremacists.

Its that they know at a fiber festival there are going to be a ton of natal women who aren't all handmaidens.
 
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