The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Old Fart]

Transportation costs are going to eat into that sweet, sweet furry cheddar.

Why thank you, Mr/s K.Fuzz, for this image of a furry cheddar I now have.

And then directly followed by

(Apart from the thought of him eating hairy cheddar, How does Kevin manage to hide his face and still look 100% male?)

If these clowns actually wanted to sell fibre, they'd go to one of the many, many fibre festivals to do it. They don't, obviously. They want to sell the idea of their trans haven ranch. They're not in the yarn business; They're in the LARPing business.

I think they'd be better off if all currently non-productive ranch inhabitants learned a craft and created items that can be sold at fairs and art-and-crafts events. That would be the truly ladylike thing to do, and be a far better way of branding than waving guns in someone's face.

To see if you paid attention to this thread, formulate some reasons why this is not going to happen.

Spoiler: clues

1. It would require real effort and long-term time investment
2. As per Mrs Swift's ghostwrite, they'd have to visit events which are overwhelmingly frequented by (older) women
3. Female stereotypes aside, there's nothing remotely feminine about these people.

 

[A Grey Cat]

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"Tee hee so dainty and so feminine! I is toTALLy WAmEn guys!" -kevin probably.

 

[Iron Hamster]

@AssignedEva, I am a complete autist and your cost of gas is IMHO pretty far off. I know they took a ranch truck which is probably closer to 20 mpg if they're very lucky.

300 miles round trip at 20 mpg is 15 gallons of gas, and at 4 bucks that would be $60.

I doubt they get 20 mpg and I would not be surprised if they took more than one rig.

This is probably the closest con to them, and they would have to drive to all of them to transport merch.

Transportation costs are going to eat into that sweet, sweet furry cheddar.

Didn't see the post you're referring to but if they took the full sized pickups, they got 10 mpg if they were lucky.

 

[WhineMeDineMe69Me]

I've been thinking about that horrendous chunky, dreadlock-looking yarn they were selling at DenFur (I'm so perplexed by it...). Is their website the only place online they sell their stuff? I know they had an Etsy at some point but looks like they stopped doing that.
The stuff listed on the website hasn't changed for months, I think it's the exact same few different weights and colors of yarn they have had since way back when that Kiwi bought some and did a review (which looked much better than what they had to offer here at their table). No sign of the mega-thick stuff they were offering in this picture that @Taylor Swift's Ghostwrite was provided from the con is on the website at all.

Maybe updating the tranch's website should also be part of Kevin's duties, since he all of a sudden wants to be involved. Because there is no way they sold their whole inventory of that ugly shit just at the con.
It just makes my belief that their whole "selling yarn' thing is total bullshit, unless they are just selling the raw fiber straight from the alpaca to someone else who processes, dyes, and sells it. But that's not the message I get from their social media presence and all that stuff.

 

[Law]

I'm genuinely surprised that the Troonicorns didn't immediately launch into some kind of grifting scheme along the lines of "The ranch was attacked while we were away at DenFur!" as soon as they got home from their furfag weekend. I was pretty certain that was going to be the plan all along.

This would make them look like irresponsible boobs (leaving the vulnerable alpacas at the mercy of right-wing terrorists while they go party at a furcon) instead of sympathetic martyrs. They will always go for ego-syntonic lies and excuses (even though lies that make the liar look bad are more likely to be believed). The first tale of Earl was all about making them look like poor, attacked victims. Now they want to look like an important charity and cool furry community members, so they forget about Earl.
A good way to predict what the Tranchers will do next is to think about their egos. They are very egotistical and driven by propping up the self-image that they have created for themselves.
Of course if Earl was real he would have attacked the ranch when half the ranchers were away. But they're bored of LARPing underdog warrior-esses and now they want to be important, philanthropic popu-furs. Next month maybe they'll want another taste of that sweet victimhood, and they'll need money for ranch repairs after shit breaks and they blame it on transphobia and climate change and life being SO HARD but them being SO STRONG.
Or maybe Jarrod is such a formidable warrior that his REEEE-rage can single-handedly repel Earl's chud army?

I think that weird "shirt" is somehow inflatable.

Nah, he's just fat.

 

[stupid frog]

[...] and ignoring there was considerably more interest in their raffle because of the donated fursuit, [...]

They only made like 1k; how much are fursuits anyways? Surely more than just 1k.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Its that they know at a fiber festival there are going to be a ton of natal women who aren't all handmaidens.

Worse than that, what if it's trans-friendly natal women who take pity on them and want to give them advice on how to make saleable yarn/starter craft kits/an attractive sales table, basically the good advice from this thread?

Troons can't take advice, and their reaction, their assertion that they immediately know everything about a niche market they've stomped into, could peak a lot of fiber artists and nice grandmas who just want to spin, for God's sake.

 

[AnOminous]

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Look at these fat fucks, shoving burgers down their throats every single day. You fat bastards!

Also lmao bald. Bald bastard. Imagine being this bald and thinking you look remotely female. It's called MALE pattern baldness for a reason.

 

[Mooner]

All-you-can-eat burgers and burritos: Ladylike cuisine for only the most feminine womyn out there. A lady needs enough fuel in the day to do ladylike things like shooting guns and buying toys.

 

[Shig O'nella]

Why thank you, Mr/s K.Fuzz, for this image of a furry cheddar I now have.

And then directly followed by



(Apart from the thought of him eating hairy cheddar, How does Kevin manage to hide his face and still look 100% male?)



I think they'd be better off if all currently non-productive ranch inhabitants learned a craft and created items that can be sold at fairs and art-and-crafts events. That would be the truly ladylike thing to do, and be a far better way of branding than waving guns in someone's face.

To see if you paid attention to this thread, formulate some reasons why this is not going to happen.

Spoiler: clues

1. It would require real effort and long-term time investment
2. As per Mrs Swift's ghostwrite, they'd have to visit events which are overwhelmingly frequented by (older) women
3. Female stereotypes aside, there's nothing remotely feminine about these people.

Spoiler: additional clue

4. It would require something approaching competence. Arts and crafts fairs are not a forgiving environment, and selling there isn't for the faint of heart or easily enraged.

(Seriously, there is nothing on this planet more deadly than a group of middle aged crafters spotting a new seller. They make jackals circling a wounded elephant look positively decorous.)

 

[Old Fart]

Speaking of long-term investments, do we have any idea of what became of the earth house?

 

[Shig O'nella]

Speaking of long-term investments, do we have any idea of what became of the earth house?

It's not been mentioned in months, far as I've seen. I only glance at their various twitters from time to time though. Usually keep up with what the damed fools are up to here.

 

[Longdrink]

Speaking of long-term investments, do we have any idea of what became of the earth house?

This is the latest news about that, at least that I'm aware of:
"Logue and Nelson said there’s another property with an additional 40 acres just over the hill from where they currently live that they’re interested in buying, but the new Earthship on it won’t be completed for another two years."
From this post from july.

New puff piece | https://archive.ph/A3M7g
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Tweet | https://archive.ph/QHIhF

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Didn't see the post you're referring to but if they took the full sized pickups, they got 10 mpg if they were lucky.

August 19 on the main tranch Twitter.

Shows all the merch boxes in the back of a pickup.

 

[Sneaky khajiit]

You know it isn't the fear of white supremacists.

Its that they know at a fiber festival there are going to be a ton of natal women who aren't all handmaidens.

Also cuz their yarn is shiiiiiit and we all know deep in hearts they don't have usable roving.

 

[stupid frog]

Kevin x Bonnie x-post

Yeah, Bonnie and Kev were dating at one point.

Spoiler: Archived capture of Kevin’s list-o-“gfs” circa December 2019

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This piece of Kevin/tranch lore is particularly interesting to me because of the fallout between them earlier this year exemplified by Bonnie’s subtweeting (infamous “the ranch is not a dating service” tweet). I’m sort of up in the air about how well they get along nowadays—they seem to be cordial enough, though that may just be because they’re somewhat cognizant of the ranch’s optics (). I did find this tweet from DenFur intriguing in regards to the current state of their relationship:

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That plus Bonnie’s recent tweet about dedicating a room on the ranch to pedo fetishists (err, “littles”) leads me to believe that he may be more permissive of Kevin’s stay-at-home diaperslave shtick than previously assumed.

I decided to deep-dive into the 2019 era of Kevin and Bonnie’s romance and the results were… interesting (and predictably disgusting).

Spoiler: Apparently they “fucked”

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Spoiler: Confirmation on Bonnie’s end

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Spoiler: Gross Kevin coomposting with Bonnie simping

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Spoiler: Bonnie’s assessment of Kevin’s moobs

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Spoiler: What the fuck

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Spoiler: Pre-relationship flirting

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Not sure about the specifics of how their courtship came to an end (it was seemingly short-lived—Bonnie’s username disappeared from Kevin’s bio by January 2020), but it certainly is an interesting tidbit of lore. It definitely recontextualized the Kevin-Bonnie dynamic in my view.

Obligatory pre-emptive apology for formatting issues due to mobileposting.

 

[Mealy Mouth Spittle]

You know it isn't the fear of white supremacists.

Its that they know at a fiber festival there are going to be a ton of natal women who aren't all handmaidens.

I don't know about that, Ravelry has been taken over by a troon -- so the yarn world has already been infiltrated by gender wokeness. The women won't really care about them being troons (or at least will be too afraid to say anything about it for fear of being called a Karen) -- but they will care a whole lot about the quality of the yarn. Fiber festival is going to be chock full of yarn snobs and there is no way that they could sell any of that crappy yarn there. Not even if they try to pass it off as a pity buy.

They would do nothing but bitch and moan about TERFs not buying their product. And Bonnie would have to spin his own yarn (lol) about putting a nasty TERF bitch in her place while everyone stood around and clapped.

I'd love to see them do it, but I don't think that even they are that delusional. Their yarn is too crappy for people who are willing to pay those kinds of prices and too expensive for people who don't care about quality.

 

[Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet)]

I don't know about that, Ravelry has been taken over by a troon -- so the yarn world has already been infiltrated by gender wokeness. The women won't really care about them being troons (or at least will be too afraid to say anything about it for fear of being called a Karen) -- but they will care a whole lot about the quality of the yarn. Fiber festival is going to be chock full of yarn snobs and there is no way that they could sell any of that crappy yarn there. Not even if they try to pass it off as a pity buy.

They would do nothing but bitch and moan about TERFs not buying their product. And Bonnie would have to spin his own yarn (lol) about putting a nasty TERF bitch in her place while everyone stood around and clapped.

I'd love to see them do it, but I don't think that even they are that delusional. Their yarn is too crappy for people who are willing to pay those kinds of prices and too expensive for people who don't care about quality.

Ravelry wasn't taken over by a troon. It was founded and programed by a guy who trooned out. Casey has always been Ravelry, and Ravelry is Casey (and his wife was the knitter).

Ravelry literally banned being pro-Trump at one point. Knitters have a terrible case of SJW.

But yeah. That yarn . . . they are not gentle on quality, or order fulfillment, or spinning, or anything related to actually knitting. The yarn world is full of people who make pennies but do it because they just love fibrecraft so much.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

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“My girlfriend eatting a burger and looking adorable”

ok have we worked out what’s Pennys deal? I mean I know their lives are a 24/7 fetish role play but I honestly do not understand his relationship with Kevin.

my personal theory is that Penny groomed Kevin and that’s his fetish (making men get a penis-ectamy and keeping them like pets) but I could be wrong.

(Apart from the thought of him eating hairy cheddar, How does Kevin manage to hide his face and still look 100% male?)

His massive hands which eclipse the burger kinda also give it away.

Of course if Earl was real he would have attacked the ranch when half the ranchers were away.

Kinda surprised they didn’t pull a Joe Exotic and burn a cross on there property whiles 2 of the 3 violent gun wielding sociopaths were out of town. (did Jose go? If so then the ranch was 100% un protected).

They wasted an opportunity to desperately Beg for more gibs.

But they're bored of LARPing underdog warrior-esses and now they want to be important, philanthropic popu-furs. Next month maybe they'll want another taste of that sweet victimhood, and they'll need money for ranch repairs after shit breaks and they blame it on transphobia and climate change and life being SO HARD but them being SO STRONG.
Or maybe Jarrod is such a formidable warrior that his REEEE-rage can single-handedly repel Earl's chud army?

Nah, he's just fat.

i think they dropped the warrior larp is because last time they we’re getting called out by practically everyone including “allies“ since it’s obviously bullshit. Even if it wasn’t bullshit. The last fundraising event they had should’ve raised enough money for them to get real top-notch security so people just roll there eyes that they keep Magically finding themselves in armed standoffs with an nonexistent right wing militia which nobody to this day has been able to locate or even name. Not one name. From a group who dox 14 years for misgendering someone over the Internet.

Look at these fat fucks, shoving burgers down their throats every single day. You fat bastards!

And they are supposed to be struggling for money every day yet they regularly eat out. Like true socialists!

 

[BoobWhiskers]

There's that old photo of him selling art at a convention or something but my memory of the exact circumstances is failing me.

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But I know nothing about conventions and hearing about there being an application process, etc., I'm starting to think this may not have even been that.

I mean, that DOES look like Kevin tabling at a convention, but even with how shitty that art looks it still looks better than his. There's also absolutely no personal branding at that table, so he might well have been watching it for another ponyfucker whose table it actually was.
That said, based on both the art quality and the... maybe two rows of tables behind him? Either this was a con with incredibly low standards for quality that happened to put him very close to one wall, or it was a tiny con that has no standards because they only expect a few hundred to a few thousand people.
For comparison, at a more noteable convention the Artist Alley looks a bit more like this and is heavily juried on who they'll accept:

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Christ, no wonder his head is receding into a roll of neck fat, that burger is nearly the size of his forehead.

They only made like 1k; how much are fursuits anyways? Surely more than just 1k.

A good fursuit will run anywhere from 1k (on the low end for a fullsuit from a capable but not super 'brand recognition' maker, to 3k-ish for something from a notable maker, to some figures more like 10k if you're getting a lot of extreme bells and whistles like a lot of LED, moving parts like wings that open and shut or ears that can be moved via control, etc). In this case it wasn't an auction but a raffle, so basically some maker donated a suit for the con to raffle off via set-price tickets.
Actually a pretty generous donation on the part of whoever made it, since a big part of a fursuit's cost comes from the material it's made with. That would have run them at least several hundred.