DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[strandedcastaway]

Here is my choice for Clip of the Night.

From the start of the clip on, in less than 10 minutes he says "Just being honest" 8 times. That certainly makes all of his rants sound truthful.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

I'm late, but i still can't believe Phil

1. Changed the sub goal, reducing the legitimacy of it to make it more likely to be reached.
2. Set it to a completely arbitrary number, 241, just because it's within the range of current number of members while making sure Phil gets a decent chunk of money if it is hit.
3. Continues to openly complain about people not donating to him.

By the way, in his rant Phil says he can't go ahead with the marathon this saturday if he doesn't hit the goal because then he could never have his fans trust him to have another goal like that. However, Philip already lost the trust by reducing the goal!


Allow me to play devil's advocate for phillip a little bit here. He does this weird thing where he talks about how much money he received in previous months, and talks about the amount being higher while forgetting to mention that this was because he was crying poor. So I think it's likely Phil is thinking of months in which he had begathons and is trying to play it off as normal support.

Don't forget this quote. I think this is a low point in Phil's entire career right here. Phil, you are not entitled to anyone's money without giving those people fair rewards that make it worth paying money. Having a job doesn't work like that. You provide benefits and people decide wether to pay you or not. I can't believe anyone would actually have this level of entitlement.

Once again, if only his parents hadn't been fucking stupid and had bought Phil the Wolverine figure when he told them to, none of this would've happened.

 

[Fapcop]

Anyone else find it extremely amusing and ironic, that this forum is probably more active than DSP is on his day off?

And spends way more time brainstorming his future and what he can do, than Phil himself.

The conversation in the Gout Mansion probably goes like this:

Phil: “I dunno what to do Khat! I need more subs! Should I buy some more hats?”

Kat: (while texting) “Hmm yeah.... Sure buy some hats. And you need new socks too... Anyways, I gotta go to the dentist. I have a cavity that needs to be filled!”

Phil: “Hmm! Socks! That’s a great idea Khat! For every new subscriber I put on a new funny pair of socks!”

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Anyone else find it extremely amusing and ironic, that this forum is probably more active than DSP is on his day off?

And spends way more time brainstorming his future and what he can do, than Phil himself.

The conversation in the Gout Mansion probably goes like this:

Phil: “I dunno what to do Khat! I need more subs! Should I buy some more hats?”

Kat: (while texting) “Hmm yeah.... Sure buy some hats. And you need new socks too... Anyways, I gotta go to the dentist. I have a cavity that needs to be filled!”

Phil: “Hmm! Socks! That’s a great idea Khat! For every new subscriber I put on a new funny pair of socks!”

The dentist Jerome definitely has some holes to fill

 

[KD6-3.7]

Some people might feel left out by this statement on account of their jobs sucking shit. Never fear. If you have experienced any of the following life events over the last ten years you are living in ways Phil will never know.

1. Achieved orgasm with a sexual partner
2. Achieved mutual orgasm with a sexual partner
3. Witnessed the birth of a child you helped conceive
4. Helped or be helped by a good friend through a difficult time
5. Donated time, money, or property to charity
6. Went on a vacation somewhere outside a twenty-mile radius around your home
7. Paid off a mortgage
8. Paid off your student loans
9. Received an advanced degree or skill certification
10. Taken concrete steps toward managing a physical or mental health condition
11. Created something, anything, with your own hands and/or mind
12. Learned how to repair anything in your home or vehicle
13. Had a moment of genuine excitement or joy not related to the acquisition of material gain
14. Achieved a greater insight into what is valuable to you, and
15. taken steps to protect and/or preserve it.
16. Grown anything in a garden
17. Began to learn a new language
18. Read a book never adapted into another form of media
19. Had a spiritual awakening of any kind
20. Taken time to laugh at yourself

EDIT: feel free to add your own; it ain’t hard, Phil defines living as the conversion of organic material into energy and waste

22. Genuinely laugh at things that are funny or amusing, as if you generally enjoy life and your work. Don’t fake it for purely cynical reasons, such as: to let people know you’re still sort-of awake, or to bamboozle people in to assuming you’re having a good time.

 

[Guess i'm toxic now!]

That ration at the bottom, goddamn.

View attachment 2499331

How did he figure he was "one of the first people to make" improv commentary "popular on YouTube."

Just like how he said he popularized/invented "playthroughs" as a terminology on YouTube.

You can't give advice to him since he already thinks he is an expert at everything he gabs about.

Phil has no wisdom, because he isn't capable of being humble, therefor he will always talk out his ass and prove himself a fool.

 

[Hogan of the South]

Anyone else find it extremely amusing and ironic, that this forum is probably more active than DSP is on his day off?

And spends way more time brainstorming his future and what he can do, than Phil himself.

The conversation in the Gout Mansion probably goes like this:

Phil: “I dunno what to do Khat! I need more subs! Should I buy some more hats?”

Kat: (while texting) “Hmm yeah.... Sure buy some hats. And you need new socks too... Anyways, I gotta go to the dentist. I have a cavity that needs to be filled!”

Phil: “Hmm! Socks! That’s a great idea Khat! For every new subscriber I put on a new funny pair of socks!”

the accuracy of this is just outstanding. It’s almost like we were all there in the kitchen with them. Minus the cat litter box smells and the bottles of empty gin all over.

 

[Fapcop]

How did he figure he was "one of the first people to make" improv commentary "popular on YouTube."

Just like how he said he popularized/invented "playthroughs" as a terminology on YouTube.

You can't give advice to him since he already thinks he is an expert at everything he gabs about.

Phil has no wisdom, because he isn't capable of being humble, therefor he will always talk out his ass and prove himself a fool.

Let’s all send a kind thought to DSP who invented play throughs and improv commentary to gameplay!

Remember those dark days when we watched people play 10 minutes of a game in complete silence, before they switched to another game they played for a while without saying a word?

Those were dark times indeed fellow gamers!

 

[King of Not Playing Games]

Anyone else find it extremely amusing and ironic, that this forum is probably more active than DSP is on his day off?

And spends way more time brainstorming his future and what he can do, than Phil himself.

Collectively this forum has done so much for DSP. Kept track of his finances and accounting, evaluated his legal standing in his foreclosure and bankruptcy, came up with new office layouts, suggested countless improvements to his streams, given him reading material on his days off...

Sometimes I'm like, maybe we're helping too much, but then DSP is a true lolcow, and will reject all advice until it's too late.

 

[Lean In Ban]

Remember when the Game Pass was supposed to save his streams hahahahahahahaha

 

[GiveMeTheMoney]

I'm late to saying this, but... Phil, no one gives a fuck about your feelings or your scoldings. You don't deserve for anyone to care until you reverse your cowish ways which honestly is probably not possible, considering that membership gold dust we just had. Remember when Phil dunked on that bunny e-thot girl for begging for subs? He's literally the male equivalent with that membership rant.

 

[Super Dent Head]

Remember when the Game Pass was supposed to save his streams hahahahahahahaha

And the vests. The chair. The laptop. The Xbox itself. The hats. There's quite a few things that "should've saved the stream". We all know what needs to change, but Phil certainly won't change himself, he's perfect and did nothing wrong.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Sometimes I'm like, maybe we're helping too much

I still want to see his finances and help him file his taxes. My only stipulation is that he pays me $15 an hour for my time and I get to make copies of everything and upload them here. That would be cheaper than anything else he does

 

[Brother Wind]

I've never seen anybody else talk this way about subscriptions, and he also used to do it all the time with his Patreon, where they so explicitly tell people that they need to ignore the lack of benefits. He's had this fundamental misunderstanding for years now where he tells people that benefits are 'not the point'. Bullshit. Patreon was literally started as a way for fans to support creators in exchange for getting something extra as a thank you, reward, or whatever you want to call it. His downplaying of that aspect of it shows exactly how much he hates his viewers and how little of his OWN effort he's willing to put into succeeding. Almost every other content creator will play UP the rewards or special benefits you get for supporting them in a certain way.

This is all typical Phil though. He'll only be jealous and talk shit about people who are more successful than him, but he'll never actually look at what they are doing different from him and then try to learn from it.

I love it. I always have. Like tipping websites and content creators has been around forever. And I mean in an internet kinda way. Obviously I know about Patronizing. But like I remember waaay back when websites just had a paypal button. Or would ask you kindly to click on links. I dunno how many people ever did. But now with Patreon? Probably loads more. Why? Because you get something now! For fuck sake. Everyone understands this. Loads of free game developers from when Phil was "white hot" knew that if they wanted people to pay for their game they had to sell special editions with extra stuff.

Its the most basic idea in the world Phil. How are you this fucking goddamn dense.

When does he consider the hate to have begun? When TIHYDPs started? That would be AJ's MGS2 TIHYDP wouldn't it? I don't remember Dave getting much hate before that. So around 2013 ish?

He has been bitching about it since the start. I think you can see him talk about trolls at least that far back. I forget when the retsupuraes happened. Those might predate TIHYDP

 

[Tsoliassssssssssssss]

From the start of the clip on, in less than 10 minutes he says "Just being honest" 8 times. That certainly makes all of his rants sound truthful.

kek.
every fucking time that he says in the middle of the sentence "...let me tell you the truth..." I am always thinking "ohh, so we only heard lies so far".
in his little mind he thinks that if he adds the word "true" or "truth" and obviously "honest" somehow you are going to believe him.
that's 13 years of improv bullshit experience right there.

 

[Fapcop]

Remember when the Game Pass was supposed to save his streams hahahahahahahaha

Wait... How in autism was that supposed to work?

I mean, I can see how it was supposed to save him money, but “save mah streams!”?!

What kind of gin-infused logic did he use there?!

 

[SauceRyuKen]

Mildly late but hey, day off. Again, not to reiterate but Game Pass had some okay stuff. Streets of Rage, Halo, that sort of thing. Yet Phil somehow gravitated towards Last Stop, a walking simulator with "British-Style" writing and The Medium. He's still doing Flightsimnohmygodnoonecares chillstreams that could fucking put a Lemur right into a boredom induced coma.

If there's absolutely no way to pry your hoof-like hands off of children's games and into fightcade or a similar product, like Virtua Fighter, at least do some multi shooters or a Mania run of Streets of Rage. Phil, you're getting far too complacent savescumming your way through New Vegas (lighted up like fuck when he thought he could cheese Ulysses only to die like a bitch a minute later. Actually tried to run and hide in spite of having no healing items rather than fight it out) and more children's games peppered with walksims, arguably three in a row, Twelve Minutes, Last Stop, and The Medium. Can't play two fighters in a row! All about that variety! No limit on piss easy games. Alright, then. I think anyone would take Mania Streets of Rage or Halo multi over that any day. As much as Phil says he takes requests for games, he's been playing whatever the fuck he feels up to.

Furthermore, Daveinity getting yeeted set a bad precedent. People subbing held some power over subs choice games, but now we know you may just drop them at any point. This makes those goals pointless. Not that they weren't before, executive decisions on game choice and all, but just flat out ragequitting is probably a red flag for the type of pseudo troll fan that would sub. Dentheads would just tip instead.

Let's be real here: Subs come with a ban protection. Your chat is dead now, a huge difference from the mostly detractor ridden last days of Twitch, when your mods just stopped giving a shit. All the loyal dentheads are already subbed, and your best bet now is the Karl Squad. Just provide them with some decent content, so they feel like trolling you is worth it at all. Oic runs the show and Snowkarl is the star. Phil has been reduced to background noise on his own stream. He could take back the limelight any day, but I legit believe ever since Yakuza 7 he's just way too lazy to play anything harder than a kid's game or a walking sim. Nobody cares about super casualized games played by a babyrage streamer. It's just so weird how he's trying to be the Max Dood of walking simulators, when he doesn't even want to stop being an ultrabegging toxic piece of shit.

 

[Super Dent Head]

Wait... How in autism was that supposed to work?

I mean, I can see how it was supposed to save him money, but “save mah streams!”?!

What kind of gin-infused logic did he use there?!

He thought he'd get more viewers. More viewers = More whales to give him money.

He's clearly not very smart and doesn't see he's been the problem the entire time.

 

[Iron Father]

The irony of DSP always trotting out his "I've been doing this for over 10 years" line is that if you do something wrong/poorly for that long without ever correcting mistakes or learning anything, you will actually end up being worse at it than someone who recently started but made sure to learn what to do and what not to do.

DSP has been doing his same old bullshit for well over a decade, which means the chances he'll unlearn negative traits in order to grow and improve are extremely low. These negative traits are far too embedded in him by now.

It's hard to teach an old hog new tricks.

 

[Draventren]

I'm late to saying this, but... Phil, no one gives a fuck about your feelings or your scoldings. You don't deserve for anyone to care until you reverse your cowish ways which honestly is probably not possible, considering that membership gold dust we just had. Remember when Phil dunked on that bunny e-thot girl for begging for subs? He's literally the male equivalent with that membership rant.

Honestly, I think he needs someone like that the most right now. Someone who cares enough to tell him to knock his shit out and actually try and be something other than a toxic presence. Especially someone who he can't just avoid permanently, and who can actually leverage him to change.

Unfortunately with all the bridges he's burned and how little he seems to care about anyone, himself included, he's never going to not be a cow.