11/24 Happy thanksgiving from Chris

[Rabid Weasels]

It looks like there are some clean and unused pots and pans included in that picture as props. Everything else that has plastic wrap i think was obtained from elsewhere and then "stylistically" placed into other semi clean dishes for the photo. Honestly, does anyone think he could cook any of that stuff without getting half of it all over the stove/wall/ceiling/floor? So i think the only thing he actually prepared is the Hurkey Sticks. Especially since his narrative goes into explicit gory detail about them.

 

[Katolate]

I suppose this Thanksgiving Chris and Barb are both grateful for Chris not burning down the house for a second time.

 

[Marvin]

But do you really think that he actually cooked this shit? That I have a hard time believing, even if it was the most awful tasting food in the world. Since when has he ever, EVER cooked something from scratch, even out of a box?

Remember this: https://sonichu.com/cwcki/SpaghettiRoutine

We don't stalk Chris. This is the same kind of logic that leads people to believe he never gets out of the house because we've only seen his videos set inside of his house.

Chris goes to stupid events IRL. He talks to people IRL. He met people and they invited him to their house to hang out. You shouldn't make assumptions about what Chris doesn't do based only on what you've seen him do in highly orchestrated youtube videos.

 

[Kalpazoid]

My thoughts on reading this:

 

[Replicant Sasquatch]

We don't stalk Chris. This is the same kind of logic that leads people to believe he never gets out of the house because we've only seen his videos set inside of his house.

Chris goes to stupid events IRL. He talks to people IRL. He met people and they invited him to their house to hang out. You shouldn't make assumptions about what Chris doesn't do based only on what you've seen him do in highly orchestrated youtube videos.

Yeah I don't believe for a second Chris didn't cook this. Like it's exactly the kind of white trash slop I'd expect a jucket like him to make.

 

[JULAY]

We don't stalk Chris. This is the same kind of logic that leads people to believe he never gets out of the house because we've only seen his videos set inside of his house.

Chris goes to stupid events IRL. He talks to people IRL. He met people and they invited him to their house to hang out. You shouldn't make assumptions about what Chris doesn't do based only on what you've seen him do in highly orchestrated youtube videos.

Fair enough point.

Assuming he did actually cook this shit, good on him. As I said in an earlier post, he'll need to know how to cook for himself in the future.

 

[Meat_Puppet]

Wait did he just say he's had this knife for roughly 10 years? The same ten years where this thing was quite possibly buried in piles of trash and set ablaze during the 14BC fire. I can understand there are some things that are salvageable from a fire... but cutlery? Dude, that's just fucking nasty.

 

[nvrwastetree]

Chris is capable of putting an oversized loaf of Spam in the oven for half an hour, heating up cans of gravy and green beans, then adding boiled water, milk, and margarine to instant potatoes and macaroni 'n cheez (bet a dollar that's store brand, not Kraft) without burning down the house. The hilarity of watching him "cook" such a feast should have been documented, you know it would be hilarious.

You ever see that YouTube video of that Marrell Howard Kalin trying to cook food on public access tv?? It was the funniest disaster I have ever witnessed, especially when he cut his finger trying to make jello and got blood into it. This guy is Chris' high functioning brother, replace Marrell with Chris and you see they are similar...except you know, Marrell isn't pretended to be a woman.

 

[bacterium]

Wait did he just say he's had this knife for roughly 10 years? The same ten years where this thing was quite possibly buried in piles of trash and set ablaze during the 14BC fire. I can understand there are some things that are salvageable from a fire... but cutlery? Dude, that's just fucking nasty.

No. It's a testament to the quality and durability of #Costco #cutlery

 

[Lesbian Sleepover]

I'm glad to see that Thanksgiving got a woman's touch this year.

 

[Marvin]

Fair enough point.

Assuming he did actually cook this shit, good on him. As I said in an earlier post, he'll need to know how to cook for himself in the future.

He knows how to follow directions. Mostly.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I'm glad to see that Thanksgiving got a woman's touch this year.

Chris had better put this one down on his resume so he can apply for the woman of the year award, next year. I just hope he remembers us when he is on the cover of Glamour and other various women's magazines with articles like, "How to trib like a real woman", "Pristine Christine's meal tips for a Thanksgiving blowout" or
"Dressing Down For Dummies (In a literal sense)".

 

[InTheSidePocket]

Here's a closeup of his culinary disaster:
View attachment 156448

But seriously what is this even supposed to be???

Does Chris really think that people eat their turkey or ham in dick form or was he just copying off of the salad thing he saw on the plastic?

Heck, maybe that's what he was doing. Maybe.

 

[DonaldJTrump]

But seriously what is this even supposed to be???

Does Chris really think that people eat their turkey or ham in dick form or was he just copying off of the salad thing he saw on the plastic?

Heck, maybe that's what he was doing. Maybe.

I'd be more surprised if that wasn't what he was aiming for.

 

[Chuggernaut]

But seriously what is this even supposed to be???

Does Chris really think that people eat their turkey or ham in dick form or was he just copying off of the salad thing he saw on the plastic?

Heck, maybe that's what he was doing. Maybe.

Just another manifestation of his latent lust for cock.

 

[Gunslinger]

This is what Chris cut using that

This is ridiculous. For the same price they could have bought an actual turkey breast which is pretty easy to cook or for a bit more they could have had one of these:

No thawing or actual cooking skill required--you just pop it in the oven--and they turn out pretty well.

How the hell would you use that to mash potatoes? And is that sharp enough to even cut butter?

I'm pretty sure those potatoes are instant and you don't need anything other than a fork to make them. Or a spatula? Why would you even cook and cut up food with this--it makes me wonder if they even have any serving utensils.

I just looked up that thing and it's SIXTY-EIGHT FUCKING AMERICAN DOLLARS.

$60 dollars? If you're gonna pay that much for a 'spatula' it better at least have turbo drive.

Spoiler: Port and Starboard attachments

 

[DragoonSierra]

$60 dollars? If you're gonna pay that much for a 'spatula' it better at least have turbo drive.

Spoiler: Port and Starboard attachments

View attachment 156553

Think he meant the turkey ham. At least thats what google shopping is showing but thats probably inflated quite a bit

 

[LazarusOwenhart]

I wonder whether Chris reasons that by putting the hastags in his post sooner or later one of these companies will notice him and send him free shit.

 

[Bunnie]

Not just that, Chris is not grateful for anything. As well, who were Chris and Barb thinking about when they get the insurance money and the care packages from kiwifarms.....no one

Who was Chris thinking about when he was squandering money on useless toys at Toys R' Us in the tackiest, sluttiest drag he could find....no one but Estefania Bustopasteles.
Chris and Barb have used and stepped on anyone within 100 feet of them including the late Bob Chandler, and now that Bob is dead, they can no longer vicariously milk the charisma and few social connections he had.

Yep, and the only stores Chris has to go to is Target and Kmart, and Toys R Us, one of these stores are dying.

 

[Gunslinger]

Think he meant the turkey ham. At least thats what google shopping is showing but thats probably inflated quite a bit

I thought he was referencing the spreader from the Cutco site.

Spoiler