12/11/13 - Consider Me Dead

[Henry Bemis]

Also, for someone with such negative feelings about online socialization, Chris doesn't seem to see that that is slowly but surely reducing the importance of the high school reunion.

Never mind that, in the first place, high school reunions are only as important as the individual believes it to be. But thanks to the magic of the Internet, it doesn't take as much digging and detective work to track down former classmates these days (namely, those you actualy want to see again), and therefore, you can organize reunions to your heart's content, as big as full-scale parties and as small as lunch dates. (Of course, that could also simply be called "wanting people in your life." And Chris doesn't want people in his life; he wants sycophants.)

Chris doesn't really want to take chances or gambles or make such compromises with other organizers; he wants only the biggest, splashiest reunion where everyone attends by the sheer force of his willpower.

 

[Some JERK]

Whatever, psycho.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Chris, go outside and make a snowman.

Enduldge in the white heavenly snow designed to make us HAPPY.

All you do is whine about having no real life friends. I have no real life friends either, but guess what? I don't use that as an excuse to NOT enjoy what life can give me anyway!

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Attention! Attention! I am ignoring you! Attention! Attention! I am ignoring you!

 

[Seahorses]

The evidence seems to show that none of Chris's classmates even care about having a reunion, so I have no idea why he thinks any such event is still going to happen.

Because he never got his reunion since it was bascially promised and everyone has to do their part to make it happen..for him.

Also probably because he is the only one of his high school classmates that has yet to move on from high school.

 

[Judge Holden]

From here I believe Chris has three paths ahead of him

a) Demonize the treacherous harlot bitches as he did with Megan and conspire to have them all trolled/murdered as he did with all the other IRL people who displease him

b) Continue to beg for asspats and validation by engaging in further "projects" related to them in highschool, growing ever more melodramatic as he begs them to dedicate their lives to him in return

c) Suicide/killing spree

 

[Foulmouth]

From here I believe Chris has three paths ahead of him

a) Demonize the treacherous harlot bitches as he did with Megan and conspire to have them all trolled/murdered as he did with all the other IRL people who displease him

b) Continue to beg for asspats and validation by engaging in further "projects" related to them in highschool, growing ever more melodramatic as he begs them to dedicate their lives to him in return

c) Suicide/killing spree

I choose :
d) and (although c would be funniest)

 

[Big Bob Pataki]

From here I believe Chris has three paths ahead of him

a) Demonize the treacherous harlot bitches as he did with Megan and conspire to have them all trolled/murdered as he did with all the other IRL people who displease him

b) Continue to beg for asspats and validation by engaging in further "projects" related to them in highschool, growing ever more melodramatic as he begs them to dedicate their lives to him in return

c) Suicide/killing spree

i vote with c, and it'll either happen at the reunion or he'll drive over to richmond to carry it out.

hell, if the gal-pals told him all this in high school, he probably would have gone on a school shooting.

 

[Venusaur]

With these e-mails he's officially alienated the highschool crew.

It's kinda strange that Chris doesn't notice how people seem to avoid contanct with him an his mother: Cole, his brother wants nothing to do with them. Bob's family will probably never contact them again. Magan and the Wallflower both distanced themselves. The highschool gal-pals think he's a creep.

I'm sure the list will keep growing. The ony reason he hasn't lost Anna is that she's safely away from him and doesn't have to deal with his bullshit in person.

If he stays on this path he's going to become a lonely, smelly wierdo who lives alone in his dead mother's trash filled home. Yet, what can be done? I literally can't think of a scenario in which Chris manages to genuinely bond with people from here on out.

Also, I'm voting B. I can't imagine C happening, killing yourself might be seen as cowardly, but it takes determination to end your own life (something Chris doesn't have). Given some years A might be a possibility. It took him some years to crown Megan, Queen of the Trolls.

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

c) Suicide/killing spree

i vote with c, and it'll either happen at the reunion or he'll drive over to richmond to carry it out.

hell, if the gal-pals told him all this in high school, he probably would have gone on a school shooting.

He'd get off four shots before having to walk around and pick up Megatron's bullets.

 

[Big Bob Pataki]

Also, I'm voting B. I can't imagine C happening, killing yourself might be seen as cowardly, but it takes determination to end your own life (something Chris doesn't have). Given some years A might be a possibility. It took him some years to crown Megan, Queen of the Trolls.

why stop there when he can go the loveshy route and demonize the entire female gender all at once? he might as well, since putting the gender on a pedestal has only lead to this pretty much.

 

[MayMay]

Probably B)

Despite being described as "the easy way out" suicide takes a lot of willpower, mainly through trying to suppress survival instincts which must be a massive difficulty on its own. Chris' "instant gratification" mindset wouldn't be able to take it. That and ROPE IS EXPENSIVE!

He'll just do what his love quest has shown he does best: not even try to do anything about the situation and just hold out for a rich supermodel to come and save him from everything (unless he's required to change, in which case fuck it!)

 

[Descent]

So he's aware that people think he's A FUCKING CREEP, yet he can't make the connection that maybe he is a creep. Didn't Kacey insist in one of those calls that Chris stared at her chest a lot?

She did. Also, Chris apparently asked the Hambeast if that was her "natural body type" and if he could help her with it. Oh yeah, and this:

Kacey: Well, I mean, if you weren’t sober, did you do anything inappropriate? Maybe that turned her off.
Chris: Wait, what?
Kacey: You said that you weren’t sober. Did you do anything in the date that was inappropriate? Maybe that turned her off.
Chris: [sighs] Well, yeah, maybe I did touch her a few times.
Kacey: Chris, we’ve talked about this!
Chris: Yeah, I know, but this was-this was before I met you. This was before I met you.
Kacey: But, you should know that anyway, you’re twenty-seven.
Chris: Yeah.

 

[Seahorses]

She did. Also, Chris apparently asked the Hambeast if that was her "natural body type" and if he could help her with it.

Help her get bigger?

 

[Foulmouth]

She did. Also, Chris apparently asked the Hambeast if that was her "natural body type" and if he could help her with it.

Help her get bigger?

Well, to be fair to him , chris has managed to grow bigger tits than a lot of women. Maybe he could pass this talent on ?

 

[Picklepower]

Come on Chris, give in and become a goth!, Chris should write more Poetry, he should call one of his poems, DIRTY CRAPPED WORLD.

 

[CWCissey]

She did. Also, Chris apparently asked the Hambeast if that was her "natural body type" and if he could help her with it.

Help her get bigger?

Well, to be fair to him , chris has managed to grow bigger tits than a lot of women. Maybe he could pass this talent on ?

Ain't no talent in scoffing down Hungry Mans and Q-Sands.

 

[Descent]

She did. Also, Chris apparently asked the Hambeast if that was her "natural body type" and if he could help her with it.

Help her get bigger?

Obviously he wanted to help her become the thin waisted, buxom mother sweetheart a fine specimen of masculinity like him deserves.

 

[Picklepower]

Chris will be 50 and will still expect some kind of reunion.

 

[Burning Love]

I think the idea that Chris couldn't commit suicide is pretty absurd.

Remember, his mind works differently than the normal person's mind. Very different. If 12 and 13 year old kids can kill themselves, and they do, then so could Chris. It seems like we're in the phase where he's right around 12-13 mentally, if not a little bit before that, so it seems to be from this point that maybe suicidal feelings could lead to a significantly darker place. If not now, certainly the future is a possibility.

Like sure, it might be unlikely for him to kill himself, but that doesn't mean he couldn't. Sometimes people surprise you. If I had to deal with as much as Chris has, yeah, I would have done it years ago. But he's not that advanced yet. He's "special." I suspect as he goes into the mid-late 30s, as his hair starts to disappear, he further balloons, Barb dies, whatever else, he's going to crash really hard. He's not far from rock bottom. His behavior is increasingly erratic, even if it's pretty predictable. He's starting to realize that every last thing was a lie and that he has no future. He simply doesn't have the mental capacity to deal with these realizations. He's going to lose it.