FIGGIN 14 Oct 19 - Phil bought a set of "body armor" - Declares Portland a Warzone

[Bad Dog]

Body armor still won't do shit against a knife attack.

Or protect his face.

 

[Takodachi]

Welfare is probably the worst mistake humanity has ever done.

 

[Oskar Dirlewanger]

Even petty bank robbers are known to use two sets of armor plates for their torso and sewing kevlar pants and sleeves themselves to have actual full body armor (good shit), and this guy is basically a field marshal of the people's liberation army and he has just this one silly vest?

the bank robbers also had automatic weapons with hundreds of armor piercing rounds and phil has a collapsible baton lmao

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Body armor still won't do shit against a knife attack.

Phil has two backup forms of defence.

1. Live in the whitest, most middle-class city in America.

2. Never go to anywhere he might be in danger.

 

[MasterDisaster]

Syria.
Lybia.
Afghanistan.
None of these places hold a candle to a warzone like Portland, Oregon.

 

[KittyGremlin]

Hey, at least he saves money by not needing groin protection.

 

[Coach Kreeton Of All That]

Portland OR is now increasingly a war zone for Antifaschistische Aktion vs. Fascists

>Increasingly a war zone
>Portland is full of upper-middle class white mayonnaise snobs who never met actual fascists
>Beaten his mother and ex-girlfriend(s) before
>Took advantage of a True & Honest transgender couple

The Phil, The. Let us know when you get your battle scars when you crawl under barbed wire, get covered in bullet holes or step into a field full of landmines, potato spud.

Hey, at least he saves money by not needing groin protection.

I mean, he did snip it off with rusty scissors.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Syria.
Lybia.
Afghanistan.
None of these places hold a candle to a warzone like Portland, Oregon.

You’d think they’d mention something on the news about a city in the US becoming a warzone.

 

[Damn Near]

You’d think they’d mention something on the news about a city in the US becoming a warzone.

Everyone knows how heavily right-leaning all mainstream media is in America. They'll do anything to protect the thousands of fascists in Portland, Oregon. Luckily, fat speds with Bud K catalogs are still fighting the good fight

 

[drtoboggan]

I'm impressed. His eyes are looking in the same direction this time.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I'm impressed. His eyes are looking in the same direction this time.

He’s hyper-focused on the pizza.

 

[Alex Krycek]

Thanks for giving us the heads up and telling us what to expect so we can plan accordingly.

 

[A Cardboard Box]

It's like he wants to be a target if something actually happens. There's a reason that actual operators like SEALs and Green Berets don't dress like tacticool faggots. Blending in and keeping your defenses and weapons hidden is your first layer of defense.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

It's like he wants to be a target if something actually happens. There's a reason that actual operators like SEALs and Green Berets don't dress like tacticool faggots. Blending in and keeping your defenses and weapons hidden is your first layer of defense.

Subtlety was never Phil's strong suit, as he goes in all blazing showing everything off like the attention whore he is.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

It's like he wants to be a target if something actually happens. There's a reason that actual operators like SEALs and Green Berets don't dress like tacticool faggots. Blending in and keeping your defenses and weapons hidden is your first layer of defense.

But then how will anyone know that Phil is a totally super tough, super cool, badass antifa supersoldier? How will people know who to thank for keeping them safe from proud boys, nazis, fascists and asian journalists!

 

[A Cardboard Box]

But then how will anyone know that Phil is a totally super tough, super cool, badass antifa supersoldier? How will people know who to thank for keeping them safe from proud boys, nazis, fascists and asian journalists!

I've always found the best part of this larp to be how he has joined literally zero protests or riots.

 

[Coach Kreeton Of All That]

But then how will anyone know that Phil is a totally super tough, super cool, badass antifa supersoldier? How will people know who to thank for keeping them safe from proud boys, nazis, fascists and asian journalists!

I've always found the best part of this larp to be how he has joined literally zero protests or riots.

Phil is our sleeper agent doing all our work for us while we sit back and laugh.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

I've always found the best part of this larp to be how he has joined literally zero protests or riots.

Oh I don't know. He ventured out hours before a march sometime earlier this year and was photographed bravely guarding a sign for a sandwich shop. He was wearing full antifa cosplay too - tacticool ammo vest, scarf over his face complete with drool stains from where he claimed to have slept in it, and his little tinpot helmet. The photo made it onto a local journalists' website and Phil thought he'd made it as a big, respected guardian of the people. And not the sandwich shop sign, definitely not (there were no people around).

 

[Coach Kreeton Of All That]

Oh I don't know. He ventured out hours before a march sometime earlier this year and was photographed bravely guarding a sign for a sandwich shop. He was wearing full antifa cosplay too - tacticool ammo vest, scarf over his face complete with drool stains from where he claimed to have slept in it, and his little tinpot helmet. The photo made it onto a local journalists' website and Phil thought he'd made it as a big, respected guardian of the people. And not the sandwich shop sign, definitely not (there were no people around).

He's turning out into a kiwi sleeper agent with each Phil sighting.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

Wow, now if someone shoots Phil with an airsoft gun he'll be okay, at least until he slips on a banana peel and falls on his ass while trying to run away.

How many layers does he wear now? An 18lb bulletproof vest under a black T-shirt under a black jacket, then what looks like a black coat on top of all that. Plus the three layers of adipose tissue that come built-in to every greasy, hairy Italian-American man. Just imagine Phil sitting around the spudcave in all that gear, the smell of his unwashed man-musk mixing with the cheesy smell of the pizza and the distinct aroma of dying tissue from his neovagina.