2017 Chris-Chan Prediction Thread - What do you think the new year shall bring (or take away from) our favorite lolcow?

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Barb will have a stroke and Rocky will get Chris to sign over power of attorney to help deal with the financial problems. But Rocky will use the opportunity to sell 14BC and the hoard, and lock up both Barb and Chris in a Christian Home For Indigent Helpless People. Chris will only have internet access to gripe and complain once a week at the public library... until the library bans him for misbehavior. After that, he will never be heard from again. The end.
 
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CHRIS WILL DIE BECAUSE HE IS SO FATTTTTTTTT

No but in all seriousness, Chris will get fatter, Barb will probably die and if she does, Chris will probably be put in a group home or die alone where he's at.

2017 is one that I have a bad feeling about, the only good I can see coming out of it is the celebration of the 10 year anniversary of his ED page that started it all.
 
Chris will cure his autism through neural beats on YouTube and resume work on Sonichu to promote a new Patreon. After all these inactive years working on his new art style and groundbreaking writing, the result will be acclaimed not only by critics and fans but also bring almost the entirety of the Farms to his side as a new hope for mankind in these troubled times. A new fan forum will be created, KF will become a deserted wasteland and the admins will give control of sonichu.com to Chris.

With the extra income he is able to ditch the tugboat for good, put Barb on a nursing home and hire a daily maid that slowly gets rid of the hoard, a personal trainer to get him onto better form as he's ever been in and a personal trans stylist to bring out the beautiful inner woman we all know is in there somewhere.

Sega and Nintendo will merge since this is the only way to really produce a true and honest Sonichu game and maybe even hire Miyamoto as executive producer, with Chris as creative director. In one of the many trips to Japan to oversee the work on the game Chris will fall in love with a young female programmer who has been in love with him since forever but was dismissed as a troll whenever she tried to contact him. She leaves the job to focus on taking care of Chris full time as his secretary and advisor. She gets pregnant with Crystal a few months after the wedding.

Watermelon, as a sidekick in the first of the worldwide viral phenomenon Sonichu games will see such popularity that he gets himself his own CWC-themed animated Saturday morning cartoon and later in the year goes on to become a pop singer, ending 2017 in an all-star international live show broadcast live on YouTube at midnight where he sings alongside Kanye, Beyoncé, Eminem and others. Chris, of course is the host.

Trump is going to be impeached after Chris' moving speech at the end of the show, looking back at 2017 and everything Trump's done wrong and a nation-wide petition to floor Charlotesville and begin anew with CWCville instead is made, with him as the lifelong mayor of honor. 2018 will make or break the deal, with Elon Musk and Mark Zukerberg being the two most active voices in favor of "making Virginia great again but right this time".
 
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He's gonna make a video where he plays with his toys in his room and tells us how badly he needs some money.
 
Broseph said:
He's gonna make a video where he plays with his toys in his room and tells us how badly he needs some money.
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Call it a gut feeling, but something tells me god bear himself will intervene and let the Chandlers kick the can of doing anything for the next year.

Some things I do suspect, Chris will get ill of a moderate degree and act like it's end of the world (and gib monie plz) He'll review new toys, and keep hating on trump.

I have nothing really to base this on but I suspect a rather quiet year from Chris.
 
Bassomatic said:
Some things I do suspect, Chris will get ill of a moderate degree and act like it's end of the world (and gib monie plz) He'll review new toys, and keep hating on trump.
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Isn't a typical youtube review one where companies actually send you stuff for free to review, and it's not just some rapidly aging crossdresser speaking incoherently about a toy, which he had to trade in old video games for.
 
Mariposa Electrique said:
I just hope Chris changes his clothes on a regular basis this year, and hopefully, he will get some insight and take some antidepressants.
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Didn't he get off the Paroxetine a couple of years ago, if I'm not mistaken? He should be taking an antipsychotic with antidepressant properties like Seroquel though. Or Citalopram, which helps best with affective symptoms.

Along the lines of predictions, the PVCC or an equivalent sinister grouping will resurrect and help Chris revive the CWCipedia. Also, we may hear some news from CWCVille if we can get Chris to work on Sonichu again.
 
I don't think Barb will die this year. She strikes me as the ornery sort who gets more and more senile but basically lives forever. Possibly Chris will wind up having to deal with DIRTY CRAPPED GRANNY-PANTIES.

At some point, we'll get another Lovequest video. Every so often, Chris seems to remember that he's single and horny, but forget how little success he's had over the last decade and a half, and then he'll try once again to find the cheat code for unlimited pussay. Possibly Stephanie Bustcakes will return, or some new prostitute identity.

These days Chris is usually pretty boring, but every so often he'll do something completely batshit insane. So we'll get a couple of those, but it's absolutely pointless trying to figure out when or why.
 
The financhu crisis is only going to get worse and it's going to come to its conclusion when Barb dies and the banks seize his house. We'll definitely see a few instances of classic Chris popping up, more threats against Pmurt, and the ever persistent chance of him getting incarcerated.
 
Sick Old Schizo said:
Didn't he get off the Paroxetine a couple of years ago, if I'm not mistaken? He should be taking an antipsychotic with antidepressant properties like Seroquel though. Or Citalopram, which helps best with affective symptoms.
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He's probably not taking anything right now, but like you said, he should be taking antipsychotics. Hell, antipsychotics are more likely to grow his breasts than those binaural beats he's crazy about.
 
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