2019-04-10 DSP Got Married - Replacing the Gorilla Munch mascot put us on the bad timeline.

[_XXIII_]

Bloody hell, wasn’t expecting this this morning. Was expecting to wake up to see he’d posted depressing pictures of a rainy zoo and the back of some randomer with the caption ‘the panda didn’t come come out to see me and Kat’

Anyway, can anyone more autistic than me remember - has Phil ever mentioned his tax fundraisers / tax issue when Kat has been present on stream, even in passing? I can’t decide if he’s wowed her with all this money and she is oblivious to it or if she’s in on the grift. Tax fundraiser - Kat moves in. Tax fundraiser - Marries Kat.

He has to be lying about this money, to his viewers at least - there is ZERO chance his parents paid for him to fly to Connecticut for this trip so he could get married. And weddings aren’t free so unless he says they paid for that too (baring in mind they’d have had to have paid before meeting Kat) then he’s got some splaining to do.

Nasa just photographed a hole smaller then the ones in Phil’s narrative.

 

[Keystone]

Nice job marrying a blatant gold digger dumbass.

Congrats all the same, I guess.

 

[Pubic Enemy #1]

To quote the man himself... wow dood.

I don't know why but this shit makes me a-log. Maybe it's because I thought I knew DSP, and while I knew he was a liar, I didn't think he'd just make shit up out of whole cloth. He's the sort of liar to take what he calls a snippet of truth and exaggerate, twist, and spin it, but this is something else. His most shameless and blatant con yet. It's not even like it's a spontaneous wedding. It's clearly been planned. He knew about this when he was bringing up his dying parents, when he was sperging about how he has no money, how he's underwater every month, how he'd love to get married because he can't...

I also think it triggers me because I can hear him fucking gaslighting the tards who unwittingly paid for this shit. "HUUUHHHN? You've got these mentally ill idiots in the chat who think two people who LOVE EACH OTHER don't deserve a nice wedding! They're taking the HAPPIEST DAY of my life and trying to ruin it! FUCK YOU!" And he'll suck all the context out of why this is a disgusting scam and present the wedding itself in a vacuum. Like it's just two people getting married and everyone who calls him out is trying to ruin his life. He'll completely ignore the fact that he's been flailing for months about how he's overdrawn, how he can't afford anything, how he owes thousands of dollars in taxes, and how, conveniently, he's once again just held a giant fundraiser right before a big life event with Kat. He'll ignore all the lies he told about his frail and infirm parents and about being turfed out of his house by the taxman.

During this begging cycle he's taken money from a bereaved widower looking for a friend and a literal blind man, who both completely bought DSP was about to be made homeless. I don't endorse poop-touching but at times like this I wish the SoK were still around.

 

[SekiroRun2]

Does he not think it's obviously going to look super bad that he is begging for money, then he takes a trip and gets married? The sick parent stuff was obviously a lie, the parents wanted to be there for the wedding. Anyone who donates even a cent to this guy after this is straight up retarded.

He's obviously financially secure enough for a dress, ring, ceremony and trip ( even if somebody else is paying) and 'somehow' I think the house will magically be saved to, and paypigs will get same sob story next year.

He's literally shamelessly rubbing it your face at this point.

 

[neger psykolog]

eh... congratulations I guess.

I think I've said previously that DSP getting married & having a kid being his only option at an actual redemption run, so this will be interesting to watch. I struggle to find harsh things to say when DSP is actually doing something that looks like planning for the future, and with all the mistakes he's made that are easy to call stupid, when it comes to the wedding I'll just say I hope it works out well for them.

For their age and general looks I don't have much to say about their makeup, clothing and photos. Kat and DSP both look happy. Hopefully it also shows that maybe, just maybe DSP found something in life that money and material wealth can't buy.

By everything shown so far, I'm doubting they spent anything more than $1000 on the entire thing, which is actually pretty sensible for people getting married in this day and age. I'll give the benefit of doubt in saying I can't see much to show there was a lot of money spent on the trip (including wedding) so its difficult to claim he scammed his audience.

Sadly, those tweets after the wedding do not bode well in showing any change within DSP. He'd rather spend his time fighting ghosts than just turning his phone off for a few days... but maybe Khet will be able to turn DSP into her ideal stallion with a bit of time.

One of the theories that came up during the tax saga was the possibility of a marriage to get tax benefits (there are tax benefits to being married) so that's an interesting thought. I'm not interested enough to go research it again, but I'm pretty sure the actual benefits were only applied to married couples. If the tax benefits are even a part of their reasoning for getting married, then that's fair enough because people often get married and they often take advantage of tax breaks and incentives.

I also hope DSP had a proper bachelor party and got Kimberlie Brink and the Bronsgeests along for some wacky bachelor party antics like shoving plastic baseball bats in places they're not supposed to go.

 

[Pubic Enemy #1]

It's rather amusing that he admits he is thinking about us on his wedding night.

This begs the question - who's avatar does he think about to stop himself from cumming?

 

[Tmacdunk]

LOOK AT THAT HAPPY FACE ON PHIL. Jesus Christ this is sad. Phil looks like he's straight out of being the villain from Out For Justice.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

Huh, and here I thought this week was going to be boring and slow for the DSP subforum.

I've never gotten mad at/about Phil before. Typically, the only emotional response he elicits is general amusement at his antics. After tonight though...well, still not mad, but it's more like extreme second hand embarrassment? Maybe even a little bit of pity?

His first response is to log on to twitter to dunk on his detractors and by his second tweet after getting married, he's back to calling people morons. Actually, scratch that, his first tweet was him humble bragging about how smart and clever he was for keeping it a secret. The closest he comes to even mentioning him and Kat being happy is a vague mention of appreciating the congratulations, but even that is followed up with an insult for the detractors, and is arguably only said as a set up to start talking about detractors and calling them morons.

I would think most couples who are big enough into social media to use it on their wedding night, which isn't exactly uncommon these days, would make a few posts talking about how happy they are, thanking their friends and family for showing up, maybe sharing a few pictures of guests dancing or the bridal party gathered together etc. Usually, there's at least something about how happy their husband/wife or how much they mean to them. But not Phil. Just bragging about how clever he is and how detractors are morons.

What makes it extra sad/embarrassing to me is the whole scam aspect of the wedding in the first place. There was no reason to lie about it. Hell, I think if Phil was openly advertising that he was raising the funds because he wanted to get married, he would have been more successful. His loyal paypigs were going to support him no matter what, but there was a notable amount of subscribers/former bit donators getting exasperated with the tax saga again. Given that they supported Phil in the past, I'd be surprised if they responded negatively to Phil announcing he was running a fundraiser for his wedding.

Now, Phil is 100% in the right for not announcing the specific date or location. But, he still could easily obscure when/where the wedding was taking place if he had been upfront about getting married. And I mean, he had hinted at it before. During the fundraiser, all he'd have to do is talk about how they were looking forward to a summer wedding and how they were looking at places in Seattle. Or hell, even say they were waiting until 2020, it certainly isn't uncommon for couples to announce their wedding a year in advance. Then, he still could have taken a CT trip and gotten married. Hell, he could have even just explained the CT trip was so Kat could meet his parents before the wedding. Yeah, he'd still be lying, but it wouldn't really be a scam because he was at least upfront that he was raising money for his wedding.

Don't get me wrong, this is still pretty funny overall and I'm already enjoying some of the jokes that have spawned from the wedding saga, but it's hard to currently shake the second hand cringe from DSP's reaction. It feels like he wanted this to be some giant "take that" against the detractors and it just backfired so spectacularly because it really just highlights how sad Phil's life is.

 

[Comma]

What the fuck? He got married. He actually got married...

I don't even.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

I know, people are going to dislike this joke, because of the source material, but it's the best I could come up with.

I'm just amazed by the sheer joylessness of their wedding pictures.

Spoiler: So here you go

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

HAHAHAHAHA Those niggas financed his wedding.

I for one look forward to Mr. and Mrs. Pig's Adult Married Life. Its sure to be filled with truth and honesty, as they are both true and honest people. All the best.

EDIT: Post best read in Dame Pesos's voice.

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOink]

My biggest thing about him scamming his fans for money isn’t that I think he spent a ton on the actual wedding itself, but just wanted some excessive spending money for a “honeymoon” or something to get kat(you know, his wife)

We frankly, just don’t know and his word can’t be trusted considering less than a month ago he was mocking people asking about them getting married on this trip. Like dude I get if you don’t want to admit someone caught on to your surprise, but don’t berate and act condescending towards someone for minutes on end, especially when they were right. Like we all knew this guy was a liar already but this kinda silly shit basically throws away any last goodwill the escort saga may have built up for him not always lying. The dude has no qualms lying through his fucking teeth no matter what. Why should I believe he didn’t scam his viewers when we already know he scammed his viewers for kat pretending it was tax money?

This is also the guy who needs to go get a hotel room in the same area he lives in for a real vacation and still never told us what he got for kat this Christmas. I have no doubt believing he’s scammed that money from fans, cheaped out on ceremony, and is throwing the rest of that money around like a big baller shot caller

 

[Pubic Enemy #1]

View attachment 721786
We may be on the right track:
https://www.catalystwedco.com/lilyemme-jewelry

"Price range US$1000-$4000"
Really got my noggin joggin. ?

 

[KingjadVCMP]

Meanwhile on TKOH, Kghaleon notices Phil got hitched:

 

[Ikas_Ando]

My Rant. (Or at least my two bits on Season 10 of the Real House-Cuck of Renton).

I’m not surprised about the wedding, it actually explains a lot. It explains why he needed a large amount of money in a short period of time. Just like last year’s “tax emergency” when he was paying for Kat to fly back and forth and finally relocate. Now this year’s emergency netted him thousands. More importantly It keeps our attention on him, which explains why fucker is tweeting on his “wedding night” goading us on, lauding over us in his moment of triumph. He got the two things he craves most; attention and money. Money with which to spend on the most important person in Phillip’s life: himself.

Kat is just another stage prop in Phillip’s ongoing con. He probably only married her in order to show his ‘army of detractors’ that he is capable of human empathy, oh, and as a tool in the next stage of the long con. In the shit-show he calls a life that we all keep tuning into, day after day. All while dupes throw quarters at him, all while he picks them up and pockets them, his eyes gleaming with greed.

I’ve always said Phillip is a sociopath and what is sad is that he cares for Kat about as much as he did for Rambo, Leanna, or that broken Guile statue buried in his closet. What is his motivation for marriage? Tax break? A scullery maid? Maybe she has money invested somewhere and the greedy little roach wants a piece...or all? We don’t know Kat, we do know she is a ‘pawn in the con’ now, which makes her an accessory to his fraudulent e-begging. She doesn’t even have to show her face, show “proof of life”. Fuck. we can’t even confirm she lives with him! After 10 years though, we know Phillip, and we know you can’t trust him as far as you can throw him.

What’s fucked up is that Phillip will return from his vacation in a few days, refreshed, rejuvenated, and empowered to go back to working the con. Being retarded on stream, duping suckers, telling his tales of woe and hardship, and making a tidy profit in the process. Meanwhile we will all tune in and watch in amazement as one lie becomes another and past events are altered slightly to fix his narrative and his pimp, Twitch sits in the Cadillac on the street corner ensuring it gets its cut and no harm comes to it’s trick.

Phillip is a scumbag of the highest order. He turned a hobby into a lucrative scam and there is no end in sight. Even if Twitch kicks him to the curb, DLive is a block away. They say a cockroach can survive a nuclear blast, a Pig roach? Fuck. He can survive anything.

“Only a sucker works a 9-5 job.” - Phillip Burnell.

 

[Ruthless54]

eh... congratulations I guess.

I think I've said previously that DSP getting married & having a kid being his only option at an actual redemption run, so this will be interesting to watch. I struggle to find harsh things to say when DSP is actually doing something that looks like planning for the future, and with all the mistakes he's made that are easy to call stupid, when it comes to the wedding I'll just say I hope it works out well for them.

For their age and general looks I don't have much to say about their makeup, clothing and photos. Kat and DSP both look happy. Hopefully it also shows that maybe, just maybe DSP found something in life that money and material wealth can't buy.

By everything shown so far, I'm doubting they spent anything more than $1000 on the entire thing, which is actually pretty sensible for people getting married in this day and age. I'll give the benefit of doubt in saying I can't see much to show there was a lot of money spent on the trip (including wedding) so its difficult to claim he scammed his audience.

Sadly, those tweets after the wedding do not bode well in showing any change within DSP. He'd rather spend his time fighting ghosts than just turning his phone off for a few days... but maybe Khet will be able to turn DSP into her ideal stallion with a bit of time.

One of the theories that came up during the tax saga was the possibility of a marriage to get tax benefits (there are tax benefits to being married) so that's an interesting thought. I'm not interested enough to go research it again, but I'm pretty sure the actual benefits were only applied to married couples. If the tax benefits are even a part of their reasoning for getting married, then that's fair enough because people often get married and they often take advantage of tax breaks and incentives.

I also hope DSP had a proper bachelor party and got Kimberlie Brink and the Bronsgeests along for some wacky bachelor party antics like shoving plastic baseball bats in places they're not supposed to go.

There's no way DSP is able to plant a seed at this point in his life.... she looks like an abused mafia wife

 

[DarkSydePundit]

Kat looks like a RealDoll here.

Since Kat hasn’t cooked for DSP in a long time could it be that Kat got away?

But DSP didn’t want people to know so he used the tax money to model a RealDoll after Kat and used her for the wedding photos.

Now DSP is in a even bigger lie and has used all of his tax money for a doll.

I mean at least that doll lets him fuck her anytime he wants, right? snort

 

[Mr.PiggyOinkOink]

Meanwhile on TKOH, Kghaleon notices Phil got hitched:
View attachment 721962

How did this cuck know Phil hasn’t uploaded anything in 4 days, but didn’t know it was because he was going on vacation? Did he think dark was going to keep uploading while away?

 

[PieceofShet]

Real question: did they have a prenup?

 

[samovski]

Real question: did they have a prenup?

I sure fucking hope so. But I highly doubt it.