2019-04-10 DSP Got Married - Replacing the Gorilla Munch mascot put us on the bad timeline.

[Grotesque]

I agree wholeheartedly in spirit but provided Kat is not a complete sociopath (and potential goldigger/likely homewrecker behavior aside I think we've seen evidence that she isn't) any child of DSP is not going to be in the picture for long. If Kat has an ounce of humanity she'll be out the door and long gone well before the kid is walking and short of the constant whining about child support that'll be the last we heard of them. I know we speculate a lot about this guy's life but I think it's a safe consensus that he'd be a rubbish father and not to be would require a near-total 180 on every aspect of his life which is hard for anyone to do, let alone Phil. Any mother would need to be genuinely cruel to keep their kid around that.

All this to say that if Phil manages to fuck up royally and reproduce, his child won't be in the picture long enough for some exceptional individual to target.

Existing as a single mother after leaving DSP is about the least "human" thing anyone could do. That poor kid will be ugly, stupid, poor and known around the Internet as this. Absolute genetic shit without a father figure. Just please PLEASE do not have a kid, Kat.

 

[Ikas_Ando]

You damn well know that DSP is going to use him as a "get out of jail for free" card. I mean, at this point he has used the "dying parents" excuse, what is stopping him from doing the same with his hellspawn?

Who the hell is that “angry grandpa” Youtuber? Dude’s grandpa died months ago and he is still roaming around with an urn or some shit trying to get pity bucks and hustle merch.

Queue Phillip to one-up this tool with his Kuato from Total Recall looking genetic abomination he props up on the masterbation station loveseat while he begs for bits.

Christ. Phillip would come full circle and start some ‘Daddy of Five’ YouTube shitshow where him and Kat swill Gin and beat the kid for views. Either way tho, it’s a sad legacy that tot would be born into. Having to wear a faded King of Hate teespring shirt to school because Phillip refuses to buy clothes while kids yell “your dad is the guy” as they stuff him in a garbage can....

 

[Asperchewy]

"Papa Roach" ..... that is all I have to say.

 

[EmperorGoutatine]

I need to raise money for taxes to keep my house!
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JK you just funded my wedding, thanks for the money, dummy!

 

[FF 215]

I think she loves him you guys.

 

[Autistsforuganda2]

Ain't he a great husband? First evening back, watching Rasslin alone in the living room. What a great couple.

His Hand makes him look like he is in his 60s

 

[ReentryPhantom]

Who the hell is that “angry grandpa” Youtuber? Dude’s grandpa died months ago and he is still roaming around with an urn or some shit trying to get pity bucks and hustle merch.

Queue Phillip to one-up this tool with his Kuato from Total Recall looking genetic abomination he props up on the masterbation station loveseat while he begs for bits.

Christ. Phillip would come full circle and start some ‘Daddy of Five’ YouTube shitshow where him and Kat swill Gin and beat the kid for views. Either way tho, it’s a sad legacy that tot would be born into. Having to wear a faded King of Hate teespring shirt to school because Phillip refuses to buy clothes while kids yell “your dad is the guy” as they stuff him in a garbage can....

The Angry Grandpa guy even released a shitty rap album

 

[Nigel of Ukip]

Ain't he a great husband? First evening back, watching Rasslin alone in the living room. What a great couple.

His Hand makes him look like he is in his 60s

He looks so sickly and frail it's insane.
I wouldn't show off that hand or that ring.
Bragging about getting married, my sides.
Bragging about getting married to someone like Kat, of all people, with her past and mental issues. My sides have left the planet and are beating Musk to Mars.

Winning at life DSP, winning.

 

[Ikas_Ando]

"Papa Roach" ..... that is all I have to say.

Steam my life into pieces
Begging is my last resort
Masterbation
Complaining
Don’t give a fuck, ill ban y’all streaming
Would it be wrong? would it be right?
If I host a begathon tonight
Chances are that I might
Violating TOS outta sight
And I just married Equine!

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

Ain't he a great husband? First evening back, watching Rasslin alone in the living room. What a great couple.

His Hand makes him look like he is in his 60s

I'm seething right now. Literally shaking, guys. Yup. His hand alone oozes masculinity with those hairy gorilla hands.

And what do I see? He's watching a testosterone fueled show in the background on his BIG screen tv? AND HE'S MARRIED.

Just, so, jealous because I forgot he JUST got married a few days ago and he had to remind me of how much better he is than me.

 

[Grotesque]

Reminder that he needs that large TV and you need to pay for his "taxes".

 

[DukeMorty]

Ain't he a great husband? First evening back, watching Rasslin alone in the living room. What a great couple.

His Hand makes him look like he is in his 60s

I know some people disagree about spending too much on a wedding ring and I kind of agree. However, I went to Amazon to check his ring because I swore I have seen it before and it is a tungsten ring that goes for about $20. Like holy shit man, I know you want to save money but at least spend a bit more on a ring that symbolizes your love for Kat, but I guess a cheap $20 ring matches your cheap relationship.

 

[Xenomorph]

Ain't he a great husband? First evening back, watching Rasslin alone in the living room. What a great couple.

His Hand makes him look like he is in his 60s

Damn those veins. Those are the hands of a 50 year old.

 

[DiabeticSP]

I know some people disagree about spending too much on a wedding ring and I kind of agree. However, I went to Amazon to check his ring because I swore I have seen it before and it is a tungsten ring that goes for about $20. Like holy shit man, I know you want to save money but at least spend a bit more on a ring that symbolizes your love for Kat, but I guess a cheap $20 ring matches your cheap relationship.
View attachment 724486

Except Phil probably bought this at a Real Adult Ring Store at the mall where he paid 70 bucks for it.

Still cheap as fuck for a ring, but the kind of dumbass overpayment Phil is notorious for (see: the trashbin).

 

[Arm Pit Cream]

Maybe DSP got married now so he could invite his parents to attend the wedding because nobody else would?
They'll "die" soon and he has no friends so he would come to his own wedding alone.

 

[Nigel of Ukip]

Maybe DSP got married now so he could invite his parents to attend the wedding because nobody else would?
They'll "die" soon and he has no friends so he would come to his own wedding alone.

He could invite his top cucks like that actual retard superblindman and jeff. He would also get real life donations from them. But Dave would never want to be in the same room with those utter cucks.

 

[Plissken]

Who the hell is that “angry grandpa” Youtuber? Dude’s grandpa died months ago and he is still roaming around with an urn or some shit trying to get pity bucks and hustle merch.

Queue Phillip to one-up this tool with his Kuato from Total Recall looking genetic abomination he props up on the masterbation station loveseat while he begs for bits.

Christ. Phillip would come full circle and start some ‘Daddy of Five’ YouTube shitshow where him and Kat swill Gin and beat the kid for views. Either way tho, it’s a sad legacy that tot would be born into. Having to wear a faded King of Hate teespring shirt to school because Phillip refuses to buy clothes while kids yell “your dad is the guy” as they stuff him in a garbage can....

Actually, it was his FATHER that died months ago. It was actually over a year ago now. Yeah, his name is Michael Green; he actually has a thread on here, but it's not very active because he's fairly repetitive. No real shit show has happened to him yet, but I'm sure it will eventually; he's friends with people like Keemstar and Boogie1488, to give you an idea of his character.

As for Phil? Yeah, I could see him doing much the same as Michael and parade his parents death around in an effort to get pity bux, after all, most of our lolcows aren't exactly known for their strong ethics.

 

[DarkSydePundit]

I hope all the energy drinks have made him impotent

 

[Cacau]

awwwwwwwwww

yikes

 

[actually]

I know some people disagree about spending too much on a wedding ring and I kind of agree. However, I went to Amazon to check his ring because I swore I have seen it before and it is a tungsten ring that goes for about $20. Like holy shit man, I know you want to save money but at least spend a bit more on a ring that symbolizes your love for Kat, but I guess a cheap $20 ring matches your cheap relationship.
View attachment 724486

I feel like this is about the one thing I can't hate on. I have a similar tungsten carbide ring for the simple fact that it's nigh indestructible. I had a nicer ring with some etching in it, and I snapped that fucker after like a year or so. So ordered the $35 tungsten carbide with some simple celtic graphics, and it's been going strong for 7 or so years now.