2023 Prediction Thread - Locks Jan 1st - 2022 was the Year of the Chud, the Lolcow and surprisingly (depending upon who you ask) the Gator. List your predictions for the year 2023 and play long!

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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. SparxTraxx will commit suicide and will blame society for not accepting him and the Farms for mocking him while also smugly declaring how he just "wuvs to be h8'd by twansphobes uwu".
2. May will get hooked on hard drugs to cope with the spite-marriage, which will go through, and her health will noticably decline in photos.
3. Fredrick Brennan will die from his condition and the the effects of drug abuse, and his last post on Twitter will be yet another pornographic drawing of his furfag OC attached to an anti-Jim Watkins rant.


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Kweefing Kween Kuh'ffals (YWNBAW) will go on some unhinged anti-KF rant on Twitch to try and rally support again, but will only recieve superficial/performative support, causing him to suicide-bait into the void and then retire from all social media except whatever Twitter clone he will live on.
2. Rozanne the "Ralphababy" will end up in a Mexican hospital for several days with some severe neglect-related illness and be taken into Mexican foster care by the government upon recovery, leaving Ralph and May childless.
3. Katzunuwu will commit suicide when she realizes she will never be anything more than an ugly fake manlet, and her spiral into insanity will be blamed on the Farms rather than her brain injury.

Less-Likely:

1. KhordKitty will be prosecuted for his crimes.
2. Warski will do coke on stream again and actually admit to it, leaving the internet for a number of months to a drug rehab clinic.
3. Sappho will leave the internet and seek help instead of constantly embarassing himself and self-owning online.

Wtf, lol?

1. Josh will find beautiful Albanian tradwife and have many Aryan mutt-babies with her.
2. Elon will tweet #GamerGate3 and save the West.
3. Shmorky will come back online, publicly endorse the Shmorky NFT scheme, and will begin to make original Klurf drawings for sale a la Chris Chan.
 
  • Agree
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. New Ralphamale nudes will leak
2. Ralph will drop Mantsu
3. This website will survive the year

Additional Predictions:

Likely:
1. Jim will live for at least a few more years, but won't be able to keep a consistent streaming schedule, only occasionally popping up when something completely unusual happens
2. Nicky Rackets will continue to go down the dangerous path he is threading now
3. YID2024 would completely burn out before 2024

Less-Likely:
1. We will get a video of Ralph getting cut to pieces by Mexican cartel goons
2. Fag-Jones joins the 41%
3. Jim's CancerAIDS will be cured

Wtf, lol?
1. Catboy Supreme will come out of the closet
2. Ralph will reconcile with his internet father
3. Tranny menace would stop fucking with this website
 
  • Optimistic
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1. He does something fucked up and has to flee Mexico and go back to the US.
2. He has some kind of health crisis on stream due to his obesity, alcoholism, and being on all of the drugs.
3. Meigh runs for the hills for some reason or another.
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Jim Dies
2. PPP does a Pillstream
3. Ralph has a really good year and punts the gunt

Additional Predictions:

Likely:
1. Rossoto does a bad sex tape with his MN micro
2. The Kino Casino burns down
3. Warski does more lines of boxed wine
4. Baked Alaska gets released from jail gets a tear drop tattoo
5. The Ballad of Mr Metokur part 2 drops
6. De Santis becomes the new Republican darling 2024 becomes the new 2015
7. Twitter implodes after Elon Musk finds out Conservative boomers are retards but still won’t buy his shitty cars

Less-Likely:

1. The farms gets hacked mass IP doxing and we all get canceled into homelessness
2. We get to see Hunter Biden’s cock loads of right wing Christian Nationalist cream their pants on mass at a gay orgy to celebrate

Wtf, lol?
1. The Nick Fueentes gets laid AF ends
2. Matt Walsh gets caught in a CP ring
3. Trump sex tape drops
4. Sargon becomes relevant again
5. Britain devolves into anarchy after Rishi Sunak prays to the wrong 7 headed elephant god Boris returns to become King of England
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. RIP Metokur
2. Jim Sterling reaches 800k and does another salty stream solely blaming his trans identity and not the fact that he's been riding a lazy revolving door of the same 3 topics for more than a decade.
3. Boogie claims a Q+ identity for clout and ebegging purposes (leaning toward non-binary or demisexual, he leeches off it for a week to a month, then never mentions it again and actively contradicts it soon after)

Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Chantal dies by getting too much blood in her gravy system
2. The internet's cancer is terminal and KiwiFarms as we know it dies as a result
3. Ralph finally burns bridges with Dick

Less-Likely:

1. Acerthorn joins the farms, attempts a RULES OF NATURE, but is nothing but threatening in his request and is voted down in a landslide. Sues the farms for multi millions as a result.
2. Pantsu leaves Ralph for greener pastures
3. Byuu is found, news outlets and wikipedia all decide to look the other way
4. Gunt is discovered to be trying to get Nora to let him leave Pantsu for her.

Wtf, lol?

1. Chris chan is released and, as he will see it preferable to actual work, will agree to a Perry Caravello-style hell life as a live-in pet retard for a ween youtuber/twitch streamer so that he can be pranked and streamed 24/7.
2. Boogie's OnlyFans becomes an ironic success and he starts putting out dirty HAMS content.
3. Rekieta joins the above content along with his wife
4. As a contingency plan to the above failing, Boogie becomes a vtuber.

I'm realizing now this is in the gunt subforum so this should probably all be gunt-related but fuck you, I'm not re-writing this. 8)
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Ralph's health will rapidly decline, either another heart attack or a stroke, he will be left with a permanent disability and require 24/7 care from some poor latinx.
2. Ralph will attempt to impregnate Meigh again but without success. He will then pay his poor latinx caretaker to form a throuple with Meigh and him and have his child.
3. Ralph will get beat up by the latinxes older brothers after she tells them about his unsavory proposition and he is left even more crippled. They will also take grandpappys ring.
 
  • Agree
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Mantsu and Ralph split and we enter a new golden age of ayylawgin. Really hope this one happens, it would be a very nasty and public breakup and it could very well end in ralph being imprisoned.
2. Jim fucking dies, Ralph and Nick celebrate like the subhumans they are and don't reminisce on the good times or when jim started their careers at all.
3. Further collaboration between the troons and AF in order to spite the farms. Groypers begin their own ddosing and letter writing campaign.


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Andy and Ashton break up, ugly divorce that leaves PPP homeless. Ppp will either quit after this or continue streaming to a much smaller audience.
2. The sektur fragments further after Jim's death and begins to drift apart, no one has the charisma or popularity to replace jim and the swarm of nobody ecelebs vying for his place are all faggots with no reach.
3. Further online censorship approaching the 2024 election

Less-Likely:

1. Nick and Kanye the schizophrenic nigger have an ugly breakup and start shitting on each other. This would be like when jim shit on Ralph during their "debate" and would leave Nick heartbroken and lost
2. Out of desperation PPP and Ashton move back in together, it ends in disaster

Wtf, lol?

1. Trump is on track to win republican primaries again, begins attacking Nick heavily and destroys his career
2. Nick not only comes out as gay but becomes a troon
3. Ralph forgives Jim and others and apologizes to his audience for his behavior, improves his life and quits drugs, becomes a solid host of a growing online show that everyone loves, gator and zidan come back
 
1. The gunt goes back to Portugal and gets beaten in the streets a 3rd time
2. The gunt loses a foot to diabeetus (and the other to Vickers)
3. The gunt goes to a prison in mexico
 
1. Ralph cancels/postpones Ralphamania to avoid being served.

2. Pantsu leaves Ralph and does a tell all interview with null.

3. Ralph accidentally ODs or gets in a fatal car wreck.
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Dong gone Jones commits an hero after their efforts to kill this site fails, again.
2. Ethan Ralph gets drunk on Mexican liquor and doxes himself and likely a few hookers nearby.
3. Meigh gets pimped out and the Ralpha male plays off his cuckoldry as some alpha male shit.


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Metokur will sadly pass away from cancer in April.
2. Nick Fuentes sells cozy, but all his clips will be used to tormet and humiliate him throughout the year.
3. Jim dying and cozy being sold, Ethan Ralph has a stress heart attack and dies, exactly a month after the reality of both events.
etc.

Less-Likely:

1. Metokur has a surprise comeback, cancer in remission and he has an amazing kickass few years ahead of him.
2. Joshua Conner Moon is subpoenaed to the state of Virginia to testify for or against Christian Weston Chandler.
3. Ethan Ralph acknowledges his problems and starts to be proactive and try to be a good father.
etc.

Wtf, lol?

1. Kanye West somehow defies the odds and becomes the lead Republican nominee, securing his place as POTUS.
2. Chantal becomes a martyr for Allah, the chunks from her ascension go for miles. Some of the chunks are renowned for their curated flavors and aromas, seasoned over decades.
3. Ethan Klein actually commits an act of terrorism, tries to play it off as a joke. Somehow, it works.
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Keffals is exposed for gooming with proof so undeniable even the gash-suckers will have to admit it. Ditchhole Darkies will crow that they saw this coming since "muh racism", the rest wil claim this is a targeted attack because "muh transphobia" claims and memory hole it

2. Chin Fong will continue antics, the Farms will have significant down time ( a week atleast )

3. Major death fat dies.


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Chantal is ghosted by Salad.
2. Peetz + Chantal are forced to move
3. BbJ dies
4. Luna Buna dies
5. Mama Luna fetus commits seppuku to avoid disgrace capture in her snatch

Wtf, lol?

1. Anna loses a significant amount of weight
2. Corissa + J get married
3. Jershy gets interviewed on live TV about internet censorship
 
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  1. Rumors of Paris Hilton running for president will start emerging
  2. Dick Masterson changes absolutely nothing at all about his shows; continues to defend pedophiles
  3. Boogie gets hospitalized, but won't pass away this year
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Ralph genuinely cries like a woman during the end of Titanic when Jim dies, in a live reaction on The Killstream.
2. Liz Fong Jones is hospitalized due to a stress related medical issue as their retard crusade against the farms goes out with a whimper.
3. Kanye West is forcibly committed to a mental institution.


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Yaniv dies in an autoerotic asphyxiation accident.
2. Chantal gets divorced and gains another 100 pounds stress eating.
3. Matthew Vickers fucks up another twenty lawsuits and copes about it on twitter instead of fixing his shitty family.

Less-Likely:

1. The Kiwi Farms gets mentioned on Tucker Carlson, causing another Pillstream and untold amounts of Kino Casino butthurt.
2. Spoony, in spite of himself, pulls himself out of the sewer of irrelevancy and gets a brief taste of his past glory... until he starts dating another retarded twitter liberal.
3. Josh releases his own pizza recipe book, which goes on to top The New York Times best seller list.


Wtf, lol?

1. Jim Sterling destransitions and becomes the second chair of the Kino Casino.
2. Sam Bankman Fried is publicly assassinated by a 4 chan crypto bro.
3.Nick Fuentes fulfills his lifelong dream to march in the San Francisco Pride Parade.
 
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The Zyclon Prediction:
1. Ralph will do something stupid that get him banned on Twitter.
2. Ralph will holler louder than he ever has before.
3. Ralph will have a near death experience after pissing someone else off and will make the Portugal beat down look tame in comparison.
 
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Ethan returns to the US, has to face the consequences for the civil suit, and "magically" walks away with a slap on the wrist.
 
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