2023 Prediction Thread - Locks Jan 1st - 2022 was the Year of the Chud, the Lolcow and surprisingly (depending upon who you ask) the Gator. List your predictions for the year 2023 and play long!

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I just hope he does a literal flip: not that he kills himself, no, I'm hoping he flips his body over somehow. It would just be funny.
 
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1. another alphabet fellow martyrs themselves and we get the blame.
2. drachenlord's documentary is released and is actually pretty good.
3. big important troons finally actually get arrested and convicted of their crimes. but get sent to women's prisons...
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Dylan Mulvaney suffers post op complications and his sponsors drop him/her/it immediately.

2. Lolcow Hollie Dance is jailed in the UK for GBH with intent.

3. The Russia/Ukraine war rumbles on for the whole year.
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Ralph is literally murdered by a Mexican or Mexicans
2. More than one new feud per month until his death
3. Armando Leon Morris stays with Ralph until his death


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Toilet time for Ralph's mom (Never confirmed explicitly because this is a felony. Oops! She must have hitchhiked away.)
2. Ralphamania implodes completely before it starts
3. Ralph gets AIDS from the only black hooker in Merida

Less-Likely:

1. Cozy Rozy ends up in a Mexican orphanage
2. Mexican heritage or Mexican nationalization becomes a requirement for America Mexico First membership.
3. Jim is miraculously cured because God also enjoys a laugh

Wtf, lol?

1. Everyone spontaneously agrees that the whole gender/gay thing was a mistake. Former transsexuals the world over tearfully apologize to Null and use their contacts in big tech to popularize Kiwi Farms and make useful code contributions to SneedForo. Null becomes a billionaire overnight but refuses to sacrifice children to Moloch so parentheses people make him poor overnight.
2. Chris is released on the condition that he travels to Merida and saves elderly Mexican women from being raped by Ralph.
3. Ralph meets his son before his death
 
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1. The attendees at Ralphamania are outnumbered by those who have come to serve legal papers or to fuck with the host. The entire event degenerates into a shitshow with outbreaks of violence and possible arrests. Ralph flees for the border. There is an outside chance that the event goes ahead with Ralph in attendance as a tele-presence.

2. Ralph is incapacitated, either as a result of a heart attack or a stroke.

3. The pedo horse breaks free from her concrete pen, only to hook-up with someone even more degenerate than her two previous boyfriends, possibly a low-level cartel enforcer.
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:
1: Ralph makes further ass of himself during Ralphamania, gets punched in the face and panels leave.
2: More people are aware of Nick Fuentes's degenerate behavior, normies laugh at Nick hunting for cum
3: No Dong Fong Jones enters into a random stream, someone mentions something about a "consent accident", Elliot rages and causes a massive downward spiral of epic lolcowdom.
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

1. Jim dies
2. Sargon ascends to new Internet Daddy™
3. Jewsh loses more weight


Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Cobes gets really drunk
2. DSP outlives another HATER©
3. Kiwi Pokemon ROM Hack takes off

Less-Likely:

1. Venus An Heros
2. KanadaJin return
3. Abby Brown pedo arrest

Wtf, lol?

1. Cyrax vs DSP sex tape
2. Ralph marries Mariah Carey
3. Kiwifarms.cc comes back
 
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Up to Three Submissions for Card:

  1. Pig and horse decide to make their relationship open, and the first person Ralph sleeps with turns out to be a tranny
  2. Metokur makes it till December 2023 before any massive health complication hits. Ralph calls it a “Christmas miracle” when Jim does kick the bucket
  3. Keffals 41%’s
Likely:

  1. PPP gains another hundred pounds
  2. We have another Total Retard War scare, this time one of the #dropkiwifarmer gets caught doing something illegal. No one is jailed.
  3. Ralph breaks up with pantsu, custody arc 2 kicks off and consumes the year.

Less-Likely:

  1. Rouge Internet man, knock off Jim clone who was doxed and quit the internet, returns to once again clown on Dylan Thomas. He is again doxed and flees the internet for a second time.
  2. Ralph loses more than 20lbs by his own volition
  3. Chris is found sane enough to stand trial, leads to a mockery of a case that is the next Depp v heard

Wtf, lol?
  1. Josh feet pics are rediscovered and wide spread, leading to his location being discovered by a European cobbler. This doesn’t cause any damage to the farms or Josh, but the forum begin referring to him as “feeter” instead of “feeder”
  2. To own the prudes, Rekieta troons out, opens his own only fans.
  3. PPP takes up coke, gets back down to under 200 lbs. Warski takes all credit.
 
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Card submissions:
  1. Ralph impregnates Meigh again shortly before/after their relationship falls apart. She gets with someone who's almost as embarrassing as him (possibly in the Digibro sphere) and gives the baby a horrible anime name.
  2. Ralph is attacked at his bowling tournament. His attacker is either wearing a pig suit or a corn suit, we get a reprise of "arrest him arrest him". Ralph does not acknowledge this on stream, but Metokur goes on somebody else's stream to laugh at him (his only appearance in 2023).
  3. Ralph slips up and accidentally lifts his shirt on stream, revealing a serious gunt infection (either staph or fungal) as a result of living in Mexico and/or constant traveling. He becomes extremely sick as a result but I predict he makes it to 2024.
 
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Submissions

1. Ralph gets beaten up at his wrasslin' event by some spergy aylawgs
2. Jim "dies" (quits the internet) due to the totally real canceraids (merch store still up btw).
3. Warski gets a sex tape leaked.

Additional Predictions:

Likely:

1. Fatrick becomes the next cow king of shit, once Porsalin drops a documentary on the fat faggot with bitch tits.
2. Trannies DDOS the farms.
3. PPP suffers a heart attack.

Less-Likely:

1. Beardsoy Beardly kills himself.
2. Nick Rekieta gets divorced & raped by the courts.
3. Graf (Poast admin) gets arrested and sent to Canadian jail.

Wtf, lol?

1. Chris Chan breaks out of prison and joins America First.
2. Flamenco gets a real girlfriend.
3. Godwinson sticks around to continue making content.
 
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dditional Predictions:

Likely:

1 Nicholas J Fuentes gets caught at a gay bathhouse having his dumper pumped
2. JD McNeal is still low energy and finds an actual better thing to do with this life than a logging a closeted homosexual
3. The Battle of Jim's driveway never happens
etc.

Less-Likely:

1. Andy does too much cocaine and bites the head off a bat on stream
2. P p p has a heart attack requiring multiple heart surgeries
3. Ethan Ralph ends up in federal prison being pounded in the ass by a black guy named Bubba
etc.

Wtf, lol?

1. Joshua Conner Moon it's giving hero of Ukraine for defending the World from disgusting subhuman trannies
2. The Kiwi Farms gets filled with more and more faggets who can't stop talking about politics
3. The French legalize pedophilia
etc.
 
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Year of the Kiwi.

Jim out lives Ralph.
 
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