- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
4/6/2016 Forgetting how much everyone there hates him, Phil autistically plans to return to Portland
- Thread starter Psycho
- Start date
M
MY 405
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Part of me likes to think he already escaped from Groom Lake ...
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2015
I'm kind of hoping he tries to go north to Canada after getting run out of Portland and losing his tardbux. The border police will have a field day with him.
J
JU 199
Guest
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 21, 2013
Irrelevant because people don't like Californian transplants anywhere.
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2014
Pleather in that heat? He'd melt.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Where the fuck is he gonna find a gun in Portland? There aren't any down-low brothers or vato loco's he could suck off behind a 7-11 for a stolen Hi-Point.
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2014
Phil is literally the worst at every single thing. He's even paradoxically the worst at being the worst, because he's not even talented at being a scum bag. If he were paint he'd be puke covered beige. If he were a cocktail it would be an empty glass with dirt caked on the bottom. If he were a potato, he'd be a rotten unwashed potato covered in leather straps.
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2014
The way he uses the term 'social capital' to somehow act as though he has a stash of friends under his mattress is a nice touch.
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2014
I like that he types likes a president to sound more official even though he's a lumpy tardo man.
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2014
Senpai notice us!
- "How much of a Herspanic Baddie I am" I can't even focus on how stupid this entire sentence is because I keep getting hung up over how stupid the word "Herspanic" is. I actually Googled it to see if anyone other than Phil has used it and found this Urban Dictionary definition. No idea if Phil is using it in the gay sense or if he thinks it's something Latinas actually say.
- "After all, Kiwi Farms keeps gyms, military surplus and self defense businesses in business for me always because of their transmisogyny crossing into the threat of IRL violence." This sentence is confusing to me (who's keeping these places in business, Phil or Kiwi Farms?), but I'm going with the interpretation that Phil is saying that he frequents gyms, military surplus, and self-defense businesses because of the threat of Kiwi Farms. To which I say HAHAHAHAHAHA, good one, Phil. We all know you've never stepped foot into any of those places.
- As for "the threat of IRL violence," literally no one thinks that Phil (or any lolcow for that matter, but especially Phil) is worth a prison sentence.
- I had to look up the word "allistic," which apparently is a word that describes people without autism. That's a huge compliment coming from Phil.
- "Social Media is not the sole barometer of social currency and social capital." You're right Phil, it's not. We judge your lack of social currency and social capital on account of the fact that you're incapable of maintaining relationships for more than a few days once people actually get to know you.
Mr Pizza
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2016
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2014
What I don't understand is that when y'all say he was run out of Portland and that everyone hates him there, how is that possible if Portland isn't just a small town? I know it's not Los Angeles but still...
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
“I urge them to come and come many, many times to enjoy the beauty of Oregon. But I also ask them, for heaven’s sake, don’t move here to live.”
- Governor Tom McCall
- Governor Tom McCall
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2015
He shouldn't be threatening people like that. Police might get word of it. That, or FB will take down his post and maybe his profile.
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2015
It amuses the hell out of me that an ode to blatant laziness and criminality has actually been adopted as the anthem of the lazy and criminal. The fact that it's about a fantasy land that doesn't actually exist but they're trying to get to anyway just makes it better.
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2015
An unwashed potato said:
Now Phil... by some strange twist, not everyone in this world hates you. You just want to believe they do. Dusty, bless his optimistic little heart, still thinks he could help you. Of course, he'd want you to shower, and we know how you feel about that.
Someone around here has sent things to his therapist in the past. This seems like something that they might find particularly interesting.
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2014
I presume the anarchist set is 1,000 people tops, though. It's not like Cisabel was rubbing elbows with the country club crowd.
R
RP 520
Guest
kiwifarms.net
I like to imagine that when Phil walks into a town or city it's like those old Western movie scenes where the bandit walks into town and everyone runs inside, shuts/locks their doors close their shutters and windows and go to the innermost room and wait for him to do his damage and leave.
Only in this case they don't do it out of fear, they just do it to avoid the stench and unpleasantness of having to encounter a sentient rat-potato.
Only in this case they don't do it out of fear, they just do it to avoid the stench and unpleasantness of having to encounter a sentient rat-potato.
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2015
Read: I will actively reject stable housing if they aren't willing to pay for my crotch gouge surgery.
Phil is reminding me here of someone I knew many years ago who was the biggest shit-talker I had ever met. He was also a massive coward, so anytime things get a little dicey, he'd duck out and then later invent some story about how much of a badass he is to impress only the people who weren't there. I used to think that people like him and Phil would some day say just the wrong thing to just the wrong person and end up with a knife in the spleen, but sometimes you have to accept that the biggest cowards manage to squeak by (with a cheeky "Yeah you better keep walking" here or there) until they eventually just die alone, and their ashes are thrown into an unmarked pit.
Except you don't go to the gym, you've only purchased maybe one jacket from a military surplus, and you've never taken a self defense course. In reality, our tax dollars go towards cheese, shitty tattoos, cheese, bus fare, cheese, your phone bill, and cheese.
For the same reason he never mentions communist, Spanish-speaking Cuba: it's not on his autistic sphere of awareness.
The sad thing is, there are tons of places in Reno and Las Vegas he could bunker down an be homeless in, and Las Vegas has a depressingly large homeless population (*whisper, whisper* and the underground 'city' some of them live in). He could easily continue his deviant, homeless-by-choice lifestyle in Vegas, and there are a massive fuckton of adult shops he can get his bondage gear from, and shady tattoo shops he can frequent. Hell, he'd probably have an easier time purchasing a firearm in the local gun show loopholes than in California/Oregon, assuming he can actually afford one.
If he ever does go to Nevada, I can imagine the horrible things the sun would do to his skin. Not to mention all of the Spanish-speaking brown people.