[9,10+12-Jun-2019] DSP's E3 Coverage - Preceded by "Mini-Chill Streams", thank goodness

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Everything but the FF7-Remake release date was crappy about the SE showcase.

And that game has been in development for like 9 years.

E3 this year was fucking terrible besides for Cyperpunk and the FromSoftware/ GRRM colab game. Everything else was underwhelming.

By the way, the new console iterations that are coming out in 1.5 years~... are they seriously boasting about SSDs? I've had an SSD since 2009. 8k resolution? Yeah, let's keep dreaming or it'll be like the availability of 4k on current consoles where very few games use it.

I'm more cynical than hype and I agree with Metokur's view on E3: it was awful and not enough technical/ corporate cringe to make it memorable.
Phil....is that you?
 
The problem with FF stories is not that they're not good, it's that they have potential that usually isn't explored; and the cast of characters don't really do much to carry it. If the gameplay doesn't offer enough of a distraction either, you can get bored quickly and it sours the game. It was easier to get along with that in the earlier days, but now-a-days, people expect something good or good enough.

That aside, his opinions are just as vapid as I expected. His bitching about FF8 makes him come off as a confused old man, seeing how Square-Enix has done a remaster of some sort for everything from FF1 to 10-2 + 12. Using a simple logic train, we could assume that FF8 was only a matter of time, and yes it is one of the more unpopular FF games; but a little thought is too complicated for Phil.

As for the FF7 Remake; it doesn't matter how it's released, it'll be loved and hated regardless of what's done. You'll have the people wanting it to remain true to the original, you'll have the people who want everything updated, you'll have the people who want it one game (a fair fucking desire) and those who think episodic gives them more time and resources to finalize small tweaks and such. People will bitch about the soundtrack, voices, everything. It doesn't matter how the game comes out, people of some sort are going to call it a dumpster fire for whatever reason.
 
shout outs to dsp for being a negative cunt. no fun allowed in dsps house
View attachment 795023
(screencap courtesy of dsparchives)

As I have read on here that Phil supposedly reads these posts:

Why*
them?*
they are*
2nd-worst*
it's*
storywise*
actually*
We*

Dear Phil, if you're going to make fun of Japanese people's way of speaking English, you might want to read a few books as to render your own up to par first.

You hypocritical sack of shit. Ow sorry, I'll translate it more to your level: you big round thing filled with poo poo.

Edit:

missed one of his mistakes when posting.
 
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As I have read on here that Phil supposedly reads these posts:

Why*
them?*
they are*
2nd-worst*
it's*
storywise*
actually*
We*

Dear Phil, if you're going to make fun of Japanese people's way of speaking English, you might want to read a few books as to render your own up to par first.

You hypocritical sack of shit. Ow sorry, I'll translate it more to your level: you big round thing filled with poo poo.

Seeing with how much Phil loved SF4, I seriously wonder his opinions on Yoshinori Ono. It's apparent the dude doesn't know English that well, but instead of stumbling around unsure of himself like most Japanese devs or having a translator with him everywhere despite knowing passable English (like Harada). Ono... Ono just comes out and gibbers his way through shit and while it sounds horrible, it's almost endearing with how much zero fucks he gives while doing it.
 
Phil....is that you?

And now, we have Slander Man, this IDIOT who believes he knows better than me what I should think about E3 even though I have been doing these E3 round-ups for the last nine years!

Why don't you shut the fuck up and stop asking for stupid shit! What, would you like me to dye my hair, start acting like a clown so I could lose any semblance of my personality? Get the fuck out of here.

Brainless, braindead idiots, I swear!
 
The problem with FF stories is not that they're not good, it's that they have potential that usually isn't explored; and the cast of characters don't really do much to carry it. If the gameplay doesn't offer enough of a distraction either, you can get bored quickly and it sours the game. It was easier to get along with that in the earlier days, but now-a-days, people expect something good or good enough.

Actually, FF14's Story is amazing and its a god damn mmo, thats kinda sad though, that the best FF story weve got in a while is from an mmo.
 
Man every time dark opens his noise hole to mention FF7 it’s clearly just an old man shouting at a cloud(no pun intended)

Like I understand not liking something, but half of he points he complains about is pure nonsense if you’ve actually played the game(dark straight up lying about things isn’t new sadly) like it’s very very clearly he doesn’t like the game purely because it’s so beloved and he’s bitterly holding on to one bad experience he had playing the game that’s forever been burned into his fragile psyche

If I had to take a shot in the dark I’d say he wasn’t immediately blown away by the game and got shit on by whoever he confided in about his opinions, which in turn made him the spiteful little troll he is towards the topic.
 
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Phil doesn't like 7/8 purely because the games story requires at least one synapse to work to understand, fuck sake he still thinks Cloud and Squall are emo and not just mentally damaged.

That's why he likes David cage games the plots are so simple that a caveman could understand.
 
Man every time dark opens his noise hole to mention FF7 it’s clearly just an old man shouting at a cloud(no pun intended)

Like I understand not liking something, but half of he points he complains about is pure nonsense if you’ve actually played the game(dark straight up lying about things isn’t new sadly) like it’s very very clearly he doesn’t like the game purely because it’s so beloved and he’s bitterly holding on to one bad experience he had playing the game that’s forever been burned into his fragile psyche

If I had to take a shot in the dark I’d say he wasn’t immediately blown away by the game and got shit on by whoever he confided in about his opinions, which in turn made him the spiteful little troll he is towards the topic.
FF7 was supposed to be the cornerstone playthrough of Project 7 (hence the name) and being that the setup for the framing story was that Phil lost his gaming mojo (or whatever - cribbing from something entertaining and popular is nothing new but for Phil to do it pisses me off since "unoriginal" is one of the criticisms he levels so eagerly at things he doesn't like) and he needed to play bad games to retrain himself, it's a safe bet he doesn't like it.

I'd say he's a FF purist who only thinks the Nintendo-era titles are good but that would imply he has passion for at least some video games, which is something of which I don't believe his soul is capable.
 
The dumb thing about him shitting on FF7 (and all the other games he trashed) is he is going to play a fair amount of them. Instead of using this to build up interest in these games and Phil playing them he is just telling everyone they're garbage. then he will be shocked attendance isn't good. If Phil wasn't Phil he could say he didn't like FF7, articulate why, and end by saying we can find out how the remake is together when I play it on stream. Unfortunately Phil is Phil so he sees something he doesn't like and reacts with the verbal equivalent of a money flinging feces.

Look at his Nintendo playthroughs for example. Phil had a raging hate boner for Nintendo, which he still does but it's softened a bit now that he can make money, but he never missed a chance to trash the company and games. Doing that lead to smaller attendance because people don't like watching somebody be a toxic asshole towards something they like.
 
I'm sure it's already been covered, but I couldn't help but laugh at Phil being completely flummoxed as to why people like Phil Spencer: "He's a very personable guy, he's got a good air. . .when he presents himself. . .he's a fun guy."

He literally can not understand why a professional who treats the fans with respect and regularly engages with them is loved by people DESPITE the quality of their content.
 
He didn't wake up early enough for it. No wonder why it wasn't covered.

Did he say he had plans on giving his negative opinion piece on it to upload to the youtubes?
 
The problem with FF stories is not that they're not good, it's that they have potential that usually isn't explored; and the cast of characters don't really do much to carry it. If the gameplay doesn't offer enough of a distraction either, you can get bored quickly and it sours the game. It was easier to get along with that in the earlier days, but now-a-days, people expect something good or good enough.

That aside, his opinions are just as vapid as I expected. His bitching about FF8 makes him come off as a confused old man, seeing how Square-Enix has done a remaster of some sort for everything from FF1 to 10-2 + 12. Using a simple logic train, we could assume that FF8 was only a matter of time, and yes it is one of the more unpopular FF games; but a little thought is too complicated for Phil.

As for the FF7 Remake; it doesn't matter how it's released, it'll be loved and hated regardless of what's done. You'll have the people wanting it to remain true to the original, you'll have the people who want everything updated, you'll have the people who want it one game (a fair fucking desire) and those who think episodic gives them more time and resources to finalize small tweaks and such. People will bitch about the soundtrack, voices, everything. It doesn't matter how the game comes out, people of some sort are going to call it a dumpster fire for whatever reason.
To be fair, that really long drawn out boss fight with tons of cutscenes interrupting the gameplay did make the game look like a trash fire. I mean that was just the first boss and they drew it out that much. I got bored watching it I can't imagine how I'd feel playing it. And then the gameplay is hack and slash but to use your good attacks you have to pause and go in a menu. That's not gonna please turn based fans and what hack and slasher wants to go in to a menu to use their most powerful attacks?

I mean I'm sure someone liked what they saw there but to me it looked like a mess.
 
Well Nintendo fucking annihilated the competition with their E3 coverage. Where are you Phil, let's hear you talk shit on Ninty.
Yeah, nice job sleeping on one of the biggest, most-wanted, most-emulated games in history finally getting an official release outside of Japan, asshole.

Oh, and keep your fucking hands off it, by the way. SoM 3 is sacrosanct.
 
Phil was giving some elaborate meme answer about his time at E3 that legit made my head spin. He jumbled like 6 different narratives together. He went to promote a game which he liked but was also a shitty game. He didn't promote the game but the E3 people said he worked his ass off but then didn't invite him back because he refused to cover the game. but it was their fault because the game was delayed. I'm sure I'm missing something. Peak pignosis.
 
To be fair, that really long drawn out boss fight with tons of cutscenes interrupting the gameplay did make the game look like a trash fire. I mean that was just the first boss and they drew it out that much. I got bored watching it I can't imagine how I'd feel playing it. And then the gameplay is hack and slash but to use your good attacks you have to pause and go in a menu. That's not gonna please turn based fans and what hack and slasher wants to go in to a menu to use their most powerful attacks?

I mean I'm sure someone liked what they saw there but to me it looked like a mess.
The bosses health was obviously beefed up or the players damage was weakened so they could make an event out of it.

And you don’t have to go into the menu as they said, there will be shortcut options.
 
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